Angel Eyes
by RaeCullen
Summary: When Edward first sees Bella, he never suspects that she is different, that she is blind. This is a story of differences, overcoming obstacles, rebuilding relationships, loss and above all; finding love.
1. Chapter 1 Melodic Angel Laugh

**A/N****: Special thanks to my awesome beta's BellaMadonna and KODea. You guys rock hardcore. Thanks to KODEA for brainstorming titles with me and making this one up. *hugs***

**Summary****: When Edward first sees Bella, he never suspects that she is different, that she is blind. This is a story of differences, overcoming obstacles, rebuilding relationships, loss and above all, finding love.**

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just made Bella blind and Edward an adorable frat guy.

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"_Remember that life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."_

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**Chapter 1- Melodic-Angel Laugh**

I raked my hands through my hair, pulling at the ends before dragging them down over my eyes, rubbing them roughly. Maybe if I rubbed my eyes hard enough, I'd finally be able to see the importance of all of this information. This shit was going to be the death of me. Organic Chemistry had not been my friend this semester. Why I'd ever thought it was a good idea to follow in my father's footsteps and become a doctor was beyond me. Oh wait – he pretty much forced me too.

'_Now Edward, you don't go to a school, like the University of Michigan, and not study medicine, especially when your father is the lead cardiologist at the hospital.'_ I could practically hear his arrogant, and all knowing, voice in my head.

I was lucky he'd let me take a few music classes as electives. I think the only reason I even got away with it was because he felt it made me more 'cultured,' and my college experience more 'well rounded.' Plus, my parents spent so much money on piano and guitar lessons when I was a child they didn't want it all to go to waste. Needless to say, I definitely enjoyed my music classes a hell of a lot more than my biology and chemistry ones. Those classes made me want to pull my hair out. In fact, on more then one occasion, I have. I'm surprised I wasn't bald.

I sighed and looked down at my phone. It was 9 am. I had already been at the campus twenty-four hour Starbucks for an hour and a half, and felt like I'd made zero headway on this review for my final coming up in two weeks. Two weeks and I was home-fuckin-free! It would be summer time. I told Carlisle I would volunteer at the hospital because he said it looked good for my med-school applications, which I would be filling out in the fall – although it's not like I was allowed to apply anywhere else. U of M would be the school I would be going to. I wouldn't even need to do well on the MCAT to get in. Carlisle would probably just bribe the school. He already donated a shit ton of money and might as well have a fricken wing of the hospital named after him. I was a shoe-in, so that left me most of the summer to sleep in, play my music, and get drunk with my fraternity brothers.

However, until then, it was going to be _a lot _of studying for finals. Carlisle would kill me if my GPA fell below a 3.8. I groaned inwardly. It was time for a double-shot of espresso.

I slowly made my way over to stand in line at the register. There were only two people ahead of me. The first one ordered quickly. The second one stood there contemplating between extra-non-fat-soy-latte and an extra-non-fat-mocha-chai-whatever.

_Seriously, what was the fucking difference?_

I groaned as I tilted my head towards the ceiling and rolled my eyes.

_Seriously lady, just make a damn choice. _

I was on the verge of ripping my hair right out of my skull when I heard a very melodic laugh. It sounded like wind chimes and butterflies.

_Wind chimes and butterflies? What the fuck, Cullen?_ _When did you become such a fairy?_

I slowly turned around to face the direction of the angel-laugh. I had never heard such a beautiful sound in all of my twenty-two years of life. Immediately my eyes focused on a table to my left.

Two girls were sitting in a booth, drinking cups of coffee and talking. One was a gorgeous blonde with bright blue eyes. She had long blonde hair that hung to the middle of her back. It was stick-straight and shiny as hell. She looked like a fucking super model and was dressed to the nines at nine o'clock in the fucking morning! She was dressed in a mini-skirt, high-heels, and a tight, pink sweater. She looked vaguely familiar, but I figured I must have just seen her here before. I frequented this Starbucks often.

But the gorgeous blonde didn't have the melodic-angel-laugh. That sound was coming from her companion, and my breath caught in my throat as I looked at her profile.

The girl was breathtaking, with long, dark brown hair that fell in effortless waves down her back, ending just past her shoulders. I could only see her in profile, but of what I could see was simply beautiful! The fair, flawless skin of her cheeks was tinged with pink from her laughter. She was dressed casually, the complete opposite of the blonde. She had on dark jeans, a white t-shirt and black flats, I think girls called them 'balletflats' or some shit.

She laughed again, which had me hypnotized, drawn to her like a magnet to steel. I needed to talk to her, to hear more of that melodic-angel laugh. I wanted to be the reason for that melodic-angel-laugh. I needed to touch her; to hold her and protect her.

_What the fuck Cullen? You don't even know this girl! What the hell are you thinking?_

"Sir, SIR!"

I was pulled out of my stupor by the sound of someone yelling. I turned back towards the register, my eyes focusing on a very impatient looking barista, with her hands on her hips. Wow! I must have been in some kind of a trance!

"Sir, can I take your order?" she asked, her voice dripping with irritation.

I shook my head back and forth quickly, waking myself up as I nodded my head.

"Yeah, erm… Sorry, I'll just take a double shot of espresso," I mumbled, slightly embarrassed by my flighty behavior.

I threw money at her and told her to keep the change, then walked down to the end of the counter and grabbed my drink from another worker.

Holding my cup carefully, I quickly turned toward the booth where the breath-taking brunette had been sitting.

Damn, she was gone! And so was her friend.

Great! There goes my chance to talk to her. _I'll probably never see her again_, I thought sadly, and headed back over to my table to continue studying.

Fifteen minutes later and all I could think about was the girl with the melodic-angel-laugh. _It's no use trying to study this material,_ I thought disgustedly. I was not going to absorb any of this information.

With a snort of irritation, I slammed my book shut and packed up my bag. Maybe a nap would help, so I headed home to my apartment.

Tonight was Friday, so of course there was a big party at the frat house that was not to be missed. I needed to rest up, so I would be ready to get drunk, dance with chicks, and forget all about the girl with the hypnotizing laugh.

* * *

After the longest nap in American history, I headed over to the fraternity house for a night of drunken festivities with my brothers. I really needed a night to relax and let loose before the stress of finals sank in next week.

I walked through the already open door to see the place already crawling with overly-eager college chicks. It was only 9:30pm, but the music was already pulsing throughout the house and everyone had a drink of some kind in their hand.

"Cullen!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned around to see one of my frat brothers, from my own pledge class, right behind me.

"Jake, what the fuck is up man?" I asked as he approached. We shook hands and did one of those man hugs that was appropriate for the occasion, and not at all gay, because there was hardly any body contact except for the hands and two slaps on the back.

"Not a lot, buddy. Are you ready to get fucked up tonight?" he asked, a devilish grin taking over his strong features. Jake was a fucking beast. He was six-foot-four and had to weigh around two hundred forty pounds, two hundred forty pounds of pure muscle. He's Native American, with dark, russet-colored skin, long black hair that was, as usual, slicked back into a tight ponytail that emphasized his broad shoulders. This was one guy I was glad to have on my side. He was incredibly intimidating.

I nodded my head in answer to his question and scanned the room.

"I need a beer," I said, before turning around and heading over to the kitchen, with Jake right behind. There, I was greeted by more of my fraternity brothers. I nodded to them, acknowledging them as they said, 'hello.' I went to the fridge and pulled out a can of Natural Light.

_Ah, gotta love the Nattie_.

I cracked the can open and turned back to Jake. We stood in comfortable silence for a few minutes because Jake was a man of few words. Jake and I had been roommates here last year and he still lived in the house, but I had decided to move out and get an apartment of my own. I needed to focus more on school and less on partying. Plus, the shenanigans of the house were getting old fast. I was over the endless stream of girls parading through the house and the endless tournaments of beer-pong or flip cup. There was only so much beer a person could drink during a week before his liver failed, or a beer gut began to form. I definitely didn't want either of those things to happen.

As we were standing there, I let my mind wander back to this morning at Starbucks, and the girl with the melodic laugh. I still couldn't get over it. It was like the laugh of an angel. Her perfect skin and features only confirmed the fact that she had to be an angel, or a figment of my imagination.

_I had to see her again. I had to meet her, just so I would know that she was real! _

I was jolted of my musings by a high-pitched squeal.

"Edwaaaaaard," a screechy voice called from behind me, and my skin crawled as if someone had raked their nails across a blackboard. I groaned out loud, knowing exactly who was there. I looked at Jake and he had a large smirk on his face.

I grimaced back at him before saying, "Please, tell me that's not who I think it is," as I prayed to the Gods that it wasn't who I thought it was. Jake chuckled, which only confirmed my suspicions.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath, as I raked my hands through my hair, pulling at the ends.

I felt two arms wrap around my waist from behind and I looked up at Jacob. "Don't you fucking leave me," I muttered through gritted teeth as he laughed even harder and started backing up.

"Sorry man, this is all you. You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out."

"Fuck you! I can't believe you're throwing me to the wolves like this. I'm going to fucking get you for this," I whispered through gritted teeth, but it was too late he was already gone.

I groaned and began to pry the chubby fingers from my waist before turning around slowly. I dropped her hands as I faced my worst nightmare.

"Hi, Jessica," I said, not bothering to have a friendly tone in my voice.

_God, I have sex with this chick two times freshman year and she can't fucking move on from it! _

Both times had been at this fucking frat house, in the bathroom, and I had been beyond obliterated. I had no idea what was even happening. I hardly even remembered them.

Now, I couldn't fucking get rid of her. She seemed to think that because of what had happened over a year and a half ago, that somehow we now were dating.

_She was seriously deranged!_

Jessica was also part of the reason I moved out of the house. She was always hanging around, trying to get into my pants. When I wouldn't touch her, she tried to fuck the other brothers, like it would make me jealous or something. Luckily, they all knew not to touch her with a ten foot pole; all except for Mike Newton. That guy was a fucking tool and would sleep with anything that could walk.

Jessica was the biggest mistake of my life. If I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat. Honestly, I would take back a lot of things that had happened in this house. A lot of things that I knew would never be mentioned, especially by Jake. I had so much dirt on him; he'd never be able to spill.

"Hi, baby," she slurred.

_Fuck, bitch! It's only 9:30, and you're already drunk!_

She wrapped her arms around me again and pointed her face up towards my face, puckering her nasty lips. She moved her face up, but I moved my face quicker, and arched my back so she couldn't put her lips on me.

"Jessica, don't do this!" I told her as I tried to pull away. "How many times have we gone over this?" I asked, sighing. I had always tried to be nice to her, to let her down easy. But she was so fucking dense, she never got it! I didn't want to be a dick, but if that's what I had to do to get her to leave me alone, then so be it.

She looked up at me; her eyes coated in way too much black eyeliner, and pouted her lips.

"What, baby?" she asked. "I just thought maybe we could recreate some memories tonight," she added suggestively. I rolled my eyes.

Luckily right at that moment one of my frat brothers, Emmett, walked past us. He looked at me and nodded his head, as if to say, 'Hello'. I looked at him with pleading eyes and mouthed, 'Save me'. He laughed and came over quickly.

"Hey man, c'mon. We gotta go. We gotta get ready for that, um, brother thing that we do at parties," he said, fumbling over his words as he attempted to make an excuse, and doing a piss-poor job of it. Jessica was so drunk though, I didn't think she even noticed. She let go of me, still pouting.

"Bye, Jessica," I said quickly, and practically sprinted out of the room.

Emmett was right behind me. When we were far enough away I stopped and turned around to him, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks man. I owe you one."

"No problem," he responded, laughing.

"Ghosts of 'bad-fucks' past," I mumbled, pretty much explaining it all in that one little phrase. He nodded in understanding.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head when the blonde from Starbucks came sauntering up behind us and wrapped her arms around Emmett.

_It's the fucking blonde from Starbucks! _

"Rosie, baby," Emmett said before turning around and crushing her lips with his. Before a second had past they were wrapped up in each other, barely noticing anyone else in the room.

_So that's why she looked so familiar! I had seen her around the house before. This was Emmett's girlfriend. _

My mind was practically screaming at me to say something to them. If the blonde from Starbucks was here, that meant…

_The angel with the melodic laugh existed! Yes!_

I was practically cheering out loud. Now, I just needed to find her. I opened my mouth to ask Emmett and the blonde about her, when I noticed they were gone. I ran my fingers through my hair, yanking on the ends again. It was time to stop fucking around and get down to business. I had to find my angel!


	2. Chapter 2 Angel Girl

**A/N****: A big huge thanks to my wonderfully amazing beta's: BellaMadonna and KODea. Without you, I'd be nothing.**

**Summary****: When Edward first sees Bella, he never suspects that she is different, that she is blind. This is a story of differences, overcoming obstacles, rebuilding relationships, loss and above all, finding love.**

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just made Bella blind and Edward an adorable frat guy.

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**Chapter 2 – Angel Girl **

After the party, the rest of the weekend was a blur, studying for Organic Chemistry, Psychology, Calc and Orgo lab. This was the final week of classes and next week was my own personal hell.

_Finals Week! _

I groaned at this realization. This was my last week of real study time.

If I was being honest with myself, the past weekend was actually a blur of _pretending_ or _attempting_ to study for finals. In all actuality, I had spent far too much time daydreaming about my Angel Girl, or AG as I now referred to her. Every time I started rewriting my notes or looking at my flash cards, my mind would wander over to my AG with the melodic laugh.

The daydreams always started out innocent enough, remembering her laugh, rosy cheeks, and long dark hair. Then my typical, over-sexed-college-guy mind would take over and they would become progressively more obscene, and then, let's just face it – downright fucking dirty. I didn't even know her name! It was ridiculous to be having such obscene thoughts.

I internally chastised myself for wasting time thinking of a girl I didn't even know, and would probably never see again. But, God, was she beautiful.

_Ugh, I'm doing it again. _I rolled my eyes at myself and my internal distractions.

_Focus, Cullen! Focus! _

There was no way I would be able to focus at my apartment. So, I basically rolled out of bed, my hair in its typical disarray, and threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I was in no mood to try and impress anyone today.

And here I was: 9 am on Monday morning, headed to Starbucks _again_, before my Organic Chemistry lab at noon. Since I had spent most of the weekend day dreaming about AG, I had a lot of study time to make up.

The Starbucks was located in downtown Ann Arbor, so I had to park my car a good distance away in order to avoid the insane cost of parking structures, meters and/or parking tickets. Parking was a complete hassle. It was a nice morning, so I didn't mind the walk.

The sun was already shining brightly as I made my way through campus. I decided to take a short-cut through one of the many parks and grassy areas. There were already crowds of people wandering about, heading in and out of various buildings. The campus was always buzzing with people, no matter what time of the day.

It was an exceptionally warm morning for Michigan during the month of May. Groups of people were already clustered around the park on benches, and stretched out on blankets, studying and enjoying the unusually good weather. When it was warm in Michigan, you definitely had to take full advantage of it. You never knew when the weather would turn nasty again.

Despite the stress of finals week looming over everyone's head, the entire campus seemed to be buzzing with energy and happiness. The warm weather reminded us that summer was just around the corner, if we could just make it through the next two weeks.

My eyes casually scanned the park as I walked. U of M was definitely an interesting place for people watching. Ann Arbor was full of different types of people. The diversity never ceased to amaze me. Only here could you find liberal hippies mixing with rich pretentious pricks and artsy folks.

Suddenly, almost as if against my will, my eyes halted on a girl sitting alone on a blanket. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at her closely. She was a good fifteen to twenty feet away, lying on her stomach across a blanket. Her legs where bent up behind her, forming a 90 degree angle with her back, and crossed at the ankles. Her head was bobbing up and down softly and I noticed she was holding onto an iPod. Her dark hair blew softly around her face, a few strands getting caught between her lips. She brushed it off her face softly before tucking it behind her ear. I noticed only one ear had a bud placed in it, the other one dangling down onto the blanket. She was wearing sunglasses, and as she tilted her head to the side, her lips formed into a soft smile. I let out a gasp.

_Angel Girl!_

It had to be! She was wearing sunglasses, but I knew it was her.

She had the same dark hair and flawless creamy skin with just a hint of pink on her cheeks. My body instinctively knew it was her and automatically began reacting. There was no need to see her whole face because I felt the same magnetic pull I had last week in Starbucks.

_Go talk to her, Cullen! _

_No I can't. She'll think I'm a douche or a creeper. _

_Well, you sort of are a creeper, the way you are just standing here watching her like a pervert and talking to yourself. _

I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. Talking to myself was not going to help in this situation, especially if I finally got up enough nerve to talk to _her_. I didn't want her thinking I had a multiple personality disorder or some shit.

I stood stoically, watching as she lay there peacefully, bobbing her head up and down, swaying her legs back and forth to the music.

I took a deep breath and walked toward her. I was not going to let the opportunity pass me by again. I had spent all weekend thinking about her, and here she was again. It was fate!

I was about 10 feet from her when I saw a guy walk up to her. I halted my movements and planted my feet into the soft grass. He was a big guy, wearing a baseball hat. I couldn't see his face. He was wearing a blue t-shirt, and destroyed jeans, and his biceps were practically ripping open the sleeves of his shirt. The guy was a beast!

She didn't even seem to notice him as he approached, but she was looking in that general direction. I saw him say something and then a huge smile of recognition lit up her face. She rolled over on to her side before sitting up and folding her legs into an Indian style position. She stretched her arms out in front of her, reaching towards him. When she did this, he came closer to her and placed his body into hers for a hug.

My heart began pounding in my chest as my vision blurred with the green of jealousy.

_Who was this douche talking to my AG?!_

She obviously knew him, so he wasn't just some random guy hitting on her. Although, I could see how that probably happened a lot since she was so fucking beautiful.

She reached her hand up and tapped his baseball hat and he shook his head and laughed. She brought her hand back down to her lap, as her bottom lip jutted out into the sexiest pout I had never seen. I groaned at the sight. The guy laughed again, shaking his head before reaching up and pulling off his hat.

_What the fuck?! _

_Emmett?! _

_What the fuck is Emmett doing with my Angel Girl? Was he dating her?!_

My heart immediately fell into my stomach in disappointment. If he was dating her, or even just interested in her, there was no way I stood a chance. The guy got any chick he wanted. Not to mention rule numero uno of the house: _Don't go after your brother's girl!_

_Fuck, I was so screwed! _

I was so busy wallowing in my own self pity that I forgot something very important in this little situation…

_Emmett had a girlfriend. _

_The hot blonde! _

So he definitely wasn't dating my AG!

_But they were friends._ He was dating the hot blonde and the hot blonde was friends with AG.

A smile spread over my face at this realization. This was definitely good news! I could ask Emmett about her. He would help me out! I didn't know Emmett very well, he was two years older then me, but we were brothers. I knew he would help me. At least he could give me some information about AG.

I watched them for a few more minutes, getting more and more excited by the minute to talk to Emmett about her. I started feeling like a total creeper, just standing there staring at them, so I hurried off toward Starbucks.

This day was definitely starting off better than I had originally planned!

~*~*~*~

After an excruciating day filled with studying and attending class, I headed over to the house to see if Jake, and hopefully Emmett, was around. I figured if Emmett wasn't at the house I could at least shoot the shit with Jake for a little while. With any luck, it would take my mind off AG, but somehow that just didn't seem likely, especially since she had been on my mind all day.

The way her hips swayed from side to side to the music as she lay on her stomach.

The way the breeze blew her hair around her face.

The way those strands of hair got stuck between her full pink lips.

I let out a low groan. I could see where these thoughts were taking me, and it certainly wasn't to a place I wanted to be right before walking into a house full of my fraternity brothers.

Without bothering to knock, I opened the front door and headed into the living room. I noticed a bunch of the guys gathered around the TV, playing a game of Halo.

"Cullen, what's up brother?" Demetri, our fraternity's president, called as he saw me stroll into the room. He slapped me on the back in greeting as I approached him and held out his fist for me to bump.

"Not much man. Just coming to chill for a bit," I responded, bumping his fist with mine and standing behind the couch next to him. "Just need a break from the books, ya know?"

He nodded his head in agreement and turned his focus back to the video game. I stood with him for a few minutes, watching the guys play and shout obscenities at each other before I decided to look around the house for Emmett or Jake.

I headed into the kitchen and found Emmett making a sandwich. Should have known I'd find him there. Where there was food, you could usually find Emmett. Luckily, he was alone, so it was the perfect time for me to talk to him about AG.

"Hey man, what's up?" I asked as I entered the kitchen. He looked up and smiled, nodding his head at me.

"Not much, just makin' some grub. Can I get you anything?" he asked politely as he squirted mayo all over the inside of his sandwich.

"No that's okay. I'm not hungry," I answered as I approached the island in the middle of the kitchen. I stood across from him, leaning against the edge of the counter, resting my hands on the granite, and watched him put the finishing touches on his dinner.

I was surprisingly nervous to ask him about AG. I wasn't even sure where to begin. I didn't know his relationship to her, or what kind of information he could give me. Maybe I was nervous to find out she had a boyfriend. If I was being realistic though, she probably really did have a boyfriend. No one that beautiful would be single for long.

What was even more nerve wracking was the reaction I was having to this girl. I had only seen her twice and didn't even know her name. I never acted like this over a girl, let alone one that I had never officially met before. It was a first for me and it kind of scared the shit out of me.

Emmett and I didn't actually know each other all that well. Emmett had never lived in the house while I've been a member of the fraternity, so I'd only ever seen him at parties or occasionally chilling around the house. We didn't get the bonding time like I did with my other brothers. He kept to himself a lot, but seemed like a pretty cool guy.

But to start talking to him right out of the blue, about something as personal as a girl, was a difficult concept for me. I didn't ordinarily open up to people that I didn't know well. However, I realized that he's my key to AG. If I wanted to know anything about her, and hopefully be lucky enough to meet her, I needed his help.

"Edward, can I help you with something?" Emmett asked, breaking me out of my thoughts. I noticed that I was staring down at his sandwich, in a daze. I looked up at him and he was arching an eye brow at me in question.

"Um, yeah, actually I wanted to ask you about something," I started, my voice somewhat shaky. I tried to gather my thoughts quickly and come up with a tactful way of questioning him about AG.

"Ok shoot. You don't mind if I eat while we talk, do ya?" he asked, gesturing towards his plate. I shook my head no in response.

"I realize," I began, somewhat nervously, "that we don't really know each other that well. So I can understand if you don't want to talk to me about this, or share any details with me."

He was watching me with genuine curiosity as he chewed his bite slowly. I took a deep breath and continued, "I have to ask, or really just get some kind of information, because I've been thinking about this for the last four days and I just can't seem to get it off my mind. I wasn't sure what to do until today. So I figured it was worth a shot to at least ask you and everything. Considering we're brothers and all, you'd at least give it to me straight," I rambled, not really being able to form coherent sentences. My nerves were getting the best of me.

"Dude, Edward, just fucking spit it out man," Emmett said, laughing as he took another bite of his sandwich. "You're right, we're brothers. If there is something you need help with I am more than happy to do what I can."

I took another shaky, deep breath before continuing. "Last Friday, I was at the Starbucks in downtown, and I just happened to see the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my entire life."

"Alright, so all this rambling is about a girl?" Emmett questioned, smirking slightly. "You're like a little school girl with a crush right now," he teased.

I rolled my eyes. Great, just what I needed. To be ridiculed about my behavior.

"Shut it, Emmett. You did say you'd help me out, so stop interrupting me," I snapped. I ran my fingers through my hair and he let out a booming laugh.

"Alright, sorry, you're right. Please continue," he said, watching me as he took another bite of his sandwich, gesturing with his arm for me to continue.

"So like I was saying, I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. She was sitting with her friend and before I was able to talk myself up enough courage to go speak to her, she left with her friend. I recognized the friend from somewhere though, but couldn't place it until I got to the party on Friday night. Then, I saw you with the friend, and realized she was your girlfriend." I ended in a rush and watched his reaction.

Emmett's chewing slowed and his smile began to fade. I started to get nervous at his sudden change in demeanor, but he didn't say anything so I took it as okay to continue.

"I thought about this girl all weekend long. I have no idea what it is about her, but she's been on my mind constantly. It was impossible for me to even concentrate on studying for my finals. I sort of gave up hope of ever seeing her again until this morning."

Emmett's brow began to furrow and he set his sandwich back down on the plate. His expression grew hard, but he still didn't say anything so I continued to talk.

"I was walking through campus today, on my way to Starbucks, when I decided to cut through the park because it was such a nice morning, when I spotted her. She was hanging out on a blanket and looking as amazing as ever. I figured it must be fate for me to see her again after I had been thinking about her all weekend long. Just as I was about to go over and talk to her, I saw a guy approach her. Then, I realized that guy was you," I finished with a huff, letting out a breath after my long winded speech. I stopped the story there and waited for Emmett's response.

It was then that I noticed his face. His features were hard and his jaw clenched. He almost looked... angry?.

_Why the hell was he angry?_

I watched, eyes wide, as his hands gripped the edge of the counter top tightly, so tight in fact his knuckles were turning white and I thought he might snap a piece of the granite clear off.

He still wasn't saying anything, so I cleared my throat and plucked up my courage before speaking again.

"You looked like you knew her pretty well. So I was just wondering if… maybe… you could tell me about her, at least her name." He still hadn't said anything, so I rushed on. "Are you good friends? I know this is kind of forward, but do you think maybe you could introduce me to her?" I asked, hopefully. "I know this whole story is sort of crazy, but seriously I can't get her off of my mind. I've never felt this way about a girl before," I confessed.

I couldn't believe that I just confessed all of that to him, someone I hardly knew. I was feeling a little bit like a sissy, but if it got me to AG I didn't really care. I ran my fingers through my hair, nervously awaiting his response.

My heart was beating erratically in my chest. I wasn't sure why he wasn't responding. We just stood there staring at each other. The room was quiet aside from the hum of the refrigerator, my heart pounding in my chest and Emmett's heavy breathing.

He started to lean over the top of the counter, angling his body closer to mine. His features were still firm, he was clenching and unclenching his jaw. If looks could kills, his surely would. I thought his eyes were going to start shooting bullets at any moment, he looked so irate. "Cullen, you stay away from her. You understand me? I do _not_ want you going anywhere near her," he threatened, his voice hard and laced with an emotion that I just couldn't place.

He stared at me for a few more seconds before throwing his plate in the sink and stomping out of the room.

My mouth went slack in shock. I stood motionless, still leaning against the counter. I didn't even know how to respond to that. It was totally opposite from the reaction I had initially expected. I assumed he would be eager to set up one of his brothers with a friend of his. I mean, why wouldn't he want to? His strong reaction had me completely baffled.

What was his relationship with AG, and why didn't he want me to go near her? I was at a loss for what my next step in this situation should be since it clearly wasn't going as planned.


	3. Chapter 3 Mistakes

**A/N**: Thank you to everyone that has been reading, reviewing and adding this story to your faves/alerts. A lot of new people added this to their faves/alerts, but didn't review. Please take a sec to say hi! =)

As always, thank you to BellaMadonna and KODea for making this all pretty for me.

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward an adorable frat guy, and Carlisle a bit of an asshole.

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**Chapter 3 – Mistakes **

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Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from. – Al Franken

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Three days had passed and I was still completely baffled by my interaction with Emmett at the fraternity house. I kept going over the conversation in my mind, trying to figure out what I had said that might have set him off.

I came up with nothing.

It was obvious that he knew her, and if his reaction was any gauge, he probably knew her well. If he was that passionate about having me stay away from her, they must be close.

I was just still completely blown away. No one had ever told me – no scratch that – _threatened_ me to stay away from someone. I was lucky that I'd been able to think about other subjects besides AG and Emmett. Otherwise, I would surely fail my finals next week.

I had been by the house every day since Monday and hadn't run into Emmett. I was hoping to see him, to talk with him some more, and ask him to explain his behavior. But, he never showed.

I avoided any serious conversations with Jake. He knew something was off about me, but I refused to tell him about AG, or what happened with Emmett. The last thing I needed was to have him harping on me about acting like a wuss over a chick.

My thoughts were suddenly rudely interrupted by the shrill ringing of my cell phone.

That annoying tone meant it could only be one person.

"Hello, Father," I answered curtly, replacing one annoying sound for another one.

"Son," Carlisle responded just as tersely as I had answered.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" I asked, my tone laced with disinterest. My father only ever called me when he needed something, wanted to scorn me, remind me that I would never live up to his expectations, or remind me to call my mother more often.

"I'm just checking in on you. Making sure you are studying hard for finals and not gallivanting around with that ridiculous fraternity." Carlisle hated the idea of me in a fraternity. He insisted that it was a waste of his money and that it would take my focus away from my studies. I tried to tell him that the fraternity does a lot of philanthropic work and I could make some great connections, but he wouldn't hear any of it. He said he knew all the connections I would need in the medical field. The problem was what if I didn't want _his_ connections in the medical field? What if I wanted connections to people that he _didn't_ know?

My mother, Esme, was the whole reason that I was even allowed to be in the fraternity while Carlisle continued to front the bill. I'm not sure what she told him, but I didn't really care because it worked.

Carlisle almost had a coronary when I told him I was moving into the fraternity house. The little 'V' shaped vain in his forehead had been pulsing so hard, I thought it was going to burst, causing blood to shoot out all over my mother and myself during Sunday brunch.

Last year, when I told him I was moving out of the house and wanted my own apartment, I thought he was going to get up on the kitchen table and do a happy dance. He gladly dished out a check for the apartment.

I let out a frustrated sigh. "Yes, Father, I've been studying whenever I am not in class. I've pulled two all-nighters."

"Edward, it's not good for you to be staying up all night. If you want your brain to function at its optimum level then you need your rest," Carlisle scolded me. I could practically see him shaking his head at me through the phone.

I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the ends. I squeezed my eyes tight, willing this conversation to end. Why did I even bother answering? Nothing good ever came from these conversations.

"Have you signed up for the MCAT prep course yet?" he asked, his tone implying that he already knew the answer.

"Not yet. I'm going to sign up soon." I raked my hands through my hair and clenched my jaw tightly together in an attempt to control the anger that was beginning to rise up in me.

"Edward, those courses fill up fast and you need to do it this summer while you aren't bogged down from your usual course work. How many times do I need to remind you about this? Do you not care about your future?" he asked rhetorically. His tone was getting increasingly more aggressive.

It was time to end this call.

"I should get back to studying. I'll tell you when to write the check," I mumbled before slamming my phone shut. I threw it onto the couch and ran both hands through my hair. I let out a wild scream, trying to release all the pent up frustration.

I needed to do something to get rid of this anxiety. There was too much going on in my brain. I needed to clear my head.

I went into my room and quickly threw on a pair of gym shorts and my running shoes. I grabbed my iPod and headed out the door. Going for a run in this nice spring weather would definitely help ease the tension.

The intense rock beats of Godspeed flowed into my ears as my feet hit the pavement, fueling the adrenaline coursing through my veins. The pace of my strides began to pick up in time with the crescendo at the beginning of the chorus. The feeling of my feet hitting the pavement with the music was oddly soothing.

Going for a run was exactly what I needed. The combination of music and intense physical movement was easing the pressure that had been building up in my body. My iPod shuffled into Away From Me, the angry lyrics inspiring me to yet again pick up my pace. The faster I ran, the faster the stressful tension was released from my muscles.

I began to slow my pace as the slower rhythm of Bitter Sweet Symphony began to pour through my earbuds. I continued to slow my pace until I was at almost a walking pace and my breathing less labored.

I then noticed that I must have run at least five miles. I ended up near a community park, a few miles away from my apartment complex. It was early evening and there were a few families around enjoying what was left of the sun and seventy degree weather.

As I rounded the corner to head back in the direction of my apartment, my eyes halted on a figure lying in the grass not more then five feet from me.

There's no way…

I felt my legs move of their own volition towards the figure. It looked like her, but it would just be too big of a coincidence to be where she was three times within two weeks.

When I was just a mere three feet from her I hid most of my body behind a large oak tree that was positioned just off to the side. I turned my iPod off and peaked out from behind the tree.

The girl was lying supine, her dark hair fanned out over the blanket behind her, sunglasses perched on her face as she seemed to be looking up at the sky. Her fair skin looked luminescent as the sun shown down on her body. I noticed an iPod tucked in one of her hands, the other one resting on her stomach, her fingers drumming along her abdomen in a rhythmic precisian. I could almost place what song she was listening to due to the fluid movements of her fingers. It was most definitely a piano piece.

She was humming softly and I stifled a groan that escaped my lips. The sound was soft, melodic and almost sensual.

_Angel Girl__!_

It was her!

Again.

This had to be fate.

I bit my lower lip and tried to focus my mind on something else, something other then the sensual humming coming from the angel just a mere three feet from me. I thought about Grandma Cullen, baseball, my frat brothers… anything to stop my body from reacting to her. The last thing I needed was to be sporting wood in my running shorts. That shit would be way too obvious.

Seemingly out of nowhere, she lifted her head and turned over on the blanket so she was resting on her elbows, her legs still stretched out in front of her. Her head quickly darted around, like she was looking for something.

I threw my body behind the tree, praying to God she didn't see me staring at her like a total creeper. My heart was pounding in my chest and my breathing became heavy from, the fear of being caught spying on her. Stalking would definitely not go over well during first introductions.

_Hi, I'm Edward. _

_Yeah, I'm that stalker that has been watching you from afar for the last two weeks. _

_Oh, don't be creeped out. I've also been thinking of you non-stop for the same amount of time and you've been starring in all of my dreams, causing me to wake up with the hardest erections of my entire life. _

I shook my head. No, that would definitely not go over well.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the tree trunk. I took a few deep breaths, slowing my heart rate down.

I opened my eyes again and slowly peeked around the side of the tree. She was still holding her upper body up by her elbows, but she was looking forward giving a nice view of her profile. A slight frown had formed on her lips and it made my heart drop into my stomach. What could make her gorgeous face look so glum?

A sudden urge to run over to her and comfort her came over my body. As fucking cheesy as it sounded, I wanted to turn that frown upside down. I had a sudden compulsion to make her laugh. Oh, God, to hear that melodic angel laugh again would be heavenly.

_Heavenly? Really, Cullen? _

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. I turned my attention back to AG.

She let out a noticeable breath, said something to herself and laid her body back down on the blanket.

I turned back so I was completely hidden by the tree again. I needed to figure out what to do. Should I go talk to her? Obviously the gods were working in my favor. What were the chances that I would run into her a fourth time? I suppose those chances were pretty high since this was my third time seeing her. But did I really want to walk away, not knowing whether or not I would ever see her again?

No, I couldn't just walk away. Not when she had been the center of my thoughts for the last two weeks! I would never forgive myself if I walked away from this opportunity. I took a deep breath and was about to come out from behind the tree when I remembered something very important.

_Emmett. _

He had pretty much threatened me to stay away from her. Do I defy my fraternity brother and talk to her anyway, even though he had so clearly told me not to? And could break my neck with one hand tied behind his back. Or do I listen and risk not ever seeing her again?

I was torn.

I sighed and turned around to peek out from behind the tree at AG again.

I didn't need to argue with myself any longer. AG made the decision for me. When I turned around from behind the tree she was gone.

"Fuck," I muttered, running my fingers through my hair.

I pushed myself away from the tree and headed in the direction of my apartment. As soon as I got home I was going to the fraternity house.

It was Thursday and it was poker night. I knew Emmett would be there.

I was going to talk to him, and I wasn't leaving without answers.

~*~*~*~

After a quick shower and a change of clothes, I jumped in my car and headed over to the frat house, extremely anxious to talk to Emmett.

I barged through the door of the house, heading in the direction of the game room. Shouting, cursing, and laughter filtered through the door of the room as I approached. Large clouds of smoke floated around the room due the fifteen men positioned at tables around the room with stogies hanging out of their mouths.

"Cullen! What up brother? Have you come to lose your money?" Demetri shouted upon my entrance into the room, a cocky grin plastered on his face.

"If you remember correctly, Dem, the last time I played with you assholes I took home five hundred dollars. So I'd watch your mouth," I shot back, flashing just as cocky of a smile.

"Touché, Brother, touché," he responded, chuckling and turning back to the game. Most people were afraid to talk back to Demetri, seeing as how he was the president of the fraternity and all. But he didn't intimidate me. Dem always acted like a hot shot, but he was actually a pretty decent and down to earth guy.

Perusing the room quickly with my eyes, I spotted Emmett in the far corner with his back to me. I narrowed my eyes in the direction of the table and took a deep breath, determined to get what I needed.

As I approached the table, some of the guys gave me a nod of acknowledgement, causing Emmett to turn around. A scowl formed on his face as I got to his table. The cigar that was hanging out of his mouth started to droop as his lips turned down into a frown.

"Emmett, when you're done with this hand, can I have a word with you?" I asked politely, but keeping my expression hard. I wanted him to know that I meant business coming here.

He glared at me for a moment before nodding curtly and turned around to finish the hand. Still scowling, he tossed a few chips into the growing pile in the middle of the table then pulled the cigar from his mouth to blow smoke into the air.

Jake was sitting at the table and he looked between Emmett and me, giving me a questioning look. I shook my head at him and shrugged while mouthing 'I'll explain later.' He nodded discreetly. I still hadn't said anything to him about AG, or my talk with Emmett. I couldn't keep it a secret for long though. He was bound to find out sooner or later.

The round continued with a few calls and raises, before coming back to Emmett. "Fuck! I fold," he grumbled, throwing his cards face down on the table. He slowly turned around to face me. "You're still here," he grumbled.

I ignored his comment and turned around and headed in the direction of the kitchen. I didn't look behind me to see if he was following, I knew he was.

I stopped walking when I hit the island in the middle of the kitchen. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning around and making eye contact with him.

Emmett's face was stoic, unmoving. He looked away from me after a second. He looked everywhere - at the ceiling, ground, counter tops, and at the fridge – everywhere but me.

"Well Cullen, you wanted to talk. So, fucking talk already," he spat out, still not bothering to look at me.

Not really knowing where to start, I just blurted out the first thing that came to the forefront of my brain. "What the fuck was Monday about, Emmett?"

He made eye contact with me then, and I almost wished he hadn't. His eyes were dark, threatening. He was still pissed.

"Christ, dude! Why the fuck do you look like you want to kill me?" I asked, running both my hands through my hair, tugging on the ends. I shook my head quickly and continued, "I didn't do _anything_ to you. I just asked you some simple fucking questions and you went all berserk on me."

"Yes, simple fucking questions pertaining to my _sister_," he stated angrily.

"Your sister?" I asked incredulously. Well shit. That explains some of it. I didn't even know he had a sister. "Ok, your sister. But what's the big deal, Man? You can't introduce me to your sister?"

Emmett continued to glare at me before stalking quickly towards me. Startled, I backed up as far as I could until my lower back hit the counter top.

"You," he poked his finger into my chest roughly, "will not be introduced to my sister. Ever. Remember what I said. You aren't to go near her." He growled out at me.

I placed both my hands on his chest, shoving him away from me roughly and snapped, "Dude, what the fuck is your problem with me, Emmett?!"

"You want to know what my problem with you is, Cullen?!" he screamed, "You're just a typical spoiled-rotten, pretty frat boy, who thinks everything should be handed to him on a silver fucking platter," he spat out at me. His eyes were full of fury and hatred. I was positive that my face looked no different.

"It's no fucking secret around here that you're a womanizer. I saw the endless stream of girls that paraded through here for you. Christ, I had to save your ass from 'Ghosts of Bad Fucks Past' the other night. How many times did you fuck that chick in the bathroom during parties here? Huh, Cullen?" his tone was full of disgust. "What about Tanya Denali? Or, how about all her sorority sisters? Do I need to bring that shit up?!" he bellowed as he started pacing back and forth in front of me, cracking his knuckles.

I groaned and raked my fingers through my hair, for the hundredth time today, at the mention of Tanya Denali. _Fuck_,_ sophomore year totally fucked me over_.

"In my defense, Tanya and I did date for an extended period of time," I grumbled, speaking mostly to myself. _ Although, it's not like fucked up shit didn't happen during that time._

He suddenly stopped and turned to me, his face softened a little bit, but the anger was still a blaze in his eyes. "Tell me, Cullen, would you want to introduce a guy like that to your sister?" he asked me, completely ignoring my previous mumblings about Tanya.

"That's not who I am anymore, _fuck!_" I whispered. I wasn't denying any of his accusations, Lord knows, I fucked up a lot the end of freshman year and a good portion of sophomore year, but I wasn't going to talk about it either. "I've made a lot of mistakes, a lot that I regret."

"It doesn't matter, Cullen," he shook his head. "You did what you did. I'm not taking any chances with my little sister in hopes that you _might_ have changed," he stated simply as he shrugged his shoulders.

The fact of the matter was that I understood where he was coming from. I could sort of respect him for it. I had a sister too. She was older then me, and married, but still. Would I want her to be with someone with a past like mine? Probably not.

We stared at each other for another few minutes, silence enveloping the room. Laughter and yelling could be heard coming from across the house. I didn't really know what to say. Do I argue with him about? What if I just made everything worse? I didn't want to strain my relationship with my fraternity brother. Bros before hoes, ya know?

"That's just how it's going to be," Emmett stated, breaking the silence. His statement was firm and it was final.

He turned around and walked out of the kitchen without another word. I stood there, still speechless.

_What was I going to do now? _

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**A/N**: A lot of you guessed that Emmett was Bella's brother. So good job to you!

OH and I want to rec a fic: Bullet in the Head by Agoraphobiantic. It's in my favorites and it rocks, just like she does! Go read it!


	4. Chapter 4 Angel in the Park

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing and adding this story to their alerts/faves. It makes me smile for days! Thank you to everyone who guessed why Bella is "special". No one was really close. ;)

Thanks BellaMadonna and KODea for beta'ing this. You two are awesome!

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward an adorable frat guy, Emmett a wee bit overprotective and Carlisle a bit of an asshole.

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"Fate. There is fate. But fate can only get you so far; because once you're there, it's up to you to make it happen."

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**Chapter 4 – Angel in the Park**

Slowly taking a sip of my coffee, I glared down at my Psychology notes. Psychology of Human Health and Development was actually a class that I enjoyed. However, studying for it did not make me feel any less stressed out.

I tried to block out thoughts of my last conversation with Emmett so I could focus on Piaget, Bandura, and Pavlov. It was really no use though.

Naturally, my thoughts drifted back to the events of the past week.

I completely understood where Emmett was coming from. I understood his natural instinct to be Papa Bear and protect his younger sister, but I felt like there was more to it than that. I had felt that same need to protect my older sister, Alice, on several occasions. From the time I was born it seemed Alice and I were inseparable. She liked to play house, and dress me up in Mom's, clothes and boss me around. Hell, she still liked to boss me around, but that's just how we worked. Sure, there were times when I would act like an annoying little brother and cut up her doll's hair or try to peek in on the slumber parties she had, but we never let those times define our relationship. I would lay down in front of a bus for her, and I knew she would do the same for me. In a lot of ways, Alice wasn't just my older sister. She was my best friend. She knew a lot of things about me that no one else did, not even Jake.

Although Alice was four years older than me, I had been bigger than her most of my life, giving the illusion that I was the oldest. Even her senior year of high school, when I was a freshman, I tried to be intimidating towards all the guys that came to pick her up for dates. I knew it never worked, although she was smaller then me – her dates were usually not, I felt this intuitiveness inside me. It made me want to attempt to scare off all the losers who wanted to date her.

No one ever proved to be good enough for Alice. Not until she met her husband, Jasper, their sophomore year of college. I had wanted so badly to play the intimidating brother card with him, but I knew instantly that he was perfect for Alice. Their personalities balanced each other out. Where she was energetic, he was calming. Where she was anally organized, he was disorganized. Somehow it all worked, and deep down I was jealous of that. Jealous of the soul mates they found in each other. I didn't think that I would ever find that kind of all encompassing love.

Sighing, I threw my head back against the back of the booth before looking around. I had come to Starbucks today, subconsciously hoping to run into AG again. It was exactly one week since I had first seen her. I couldn't help but hope that coming to Starbucks every Friday morning was some kind of ritual for her.

_This is ridiculous. I am being ridiculous. Since when did I practically stalk a chick? _

Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to my notes.

"Edward?"

Startled, my head jerked up in the direction of the soft female voice saying my name. My heart started beating rapidly, hoping to see smooth porcelain skin and long dark hair.

"Edward? Are you ok? It's me, Angela. I'm in your Organic Chem class."

My face fell immediately, and I shook my head attempting to clear out my thoughts. Why would I think it would be AG? She doesn't even know who I am. So why would she be standing there calling my name?

Angela looked at me confused and I realized that I had been running internal dialogue in my head and hadn't said anything to her yet. God, I was such a dick!

"Oh yeah, hi, Angela," I answered finally, giving her a small smile. I did recognize her from class and lab. "You're in my lab section, too, right?"

She nodded rather energetically. "Yeah!" she answered brightly. A little too excited, so it seemed, since we were talking about organic chemistry. "Have you started studying for the final next week? I swear I'm going to fail."

"Yeah, I have a little bit. I was actually going to start reviewing some practice equations and my notes. Care to study with me?" I asked her, then motioning with my arm for her to take a seat across from me in the booth.

I would be much more likely to get more studying done if someone else was around to keep me focused. I needed to get my mind off AG and this seemed like my best bet. Angela seemed like a nice girl and pretty smart. Hell, it couldn't hurt!

"Yeah! That'd be great," she replied, smiling and sliding in the booth across from me. She pulled a binder and her Organic Chem book out of her backpack and set it down on the table. "Well, let me see what ya got." She said, reaching her hand across the table for my practice problems.

I sighed and handed them over. "They're probably all wrong, but here they are."

"I highly doubt that. But we'll see won't we?" she said, laughing lightly. I could tell this was actually going to be an enjoyable afternoon.

~*~*~

Two and a half hours later Angela and I finally finished studying and parted ways. Studying with Angela made the actual act of studying not so terrible. She was an extremely bright girl and insanely nice, almost to a fault. Also, she was not afraid to crack the whip on me, telling me to focus when she sensed my mind wandering. She perceived that there was something specific distracting me, but never questioned me about that. She didn't pry. I liked that about her.

I learned that Angela was also on the pre-med track and that she wanted to be a pediatrician. It seemed fitting for her. She told me all about her boyfriend, Ben, and how they had been dating since they were in high school. I also learned that she worked part-time at the public library reading and doing activities with a children's group.

All in all, Angela was a very nice girl and I genuinely hoped that she and I could be friends. I didn't have many friends outside of the Greek life and definitely none that were girls. It was a nice change of pace.

Arriving back at my apartment, I threw my book-bag onto the couch as I walked by on my way to my bedroom. Grasping the bottom hem of my shirt, I quickly pulled it over my head and threw it into the laundry basket. I headed into my closet and grabbed my running clothes.

The sun shone brightly, a cool breeze blowing lightly through the trees, making it a perfect spring afternoon. The warmth of the sun and breeze blowing through my hair instantly took my mind back to AG.

_Cause, what else would I be thinking about? _

My mind drifted back to the way she looked sprawled out on the blanket in the park. The way the wind blew her hair around her angelic face and she drummed her fingers gently across her abdomen. I had dreamed about nothing but running my fingers through those dark brown locks. I wondered how soft her hair would feel between my fingers. I wondered what it smelt like.

_Wonder what it smelt like? _

_Get a grip, Cullen! _

In an attempt to clear thoughts of AG from my head, I focused on the swift and steady movements of my legs. I paid close attention to the soft burn building in my calves and heading up through my thighs. My breathing was shallow, yet steady.

As the ache in my legs started to become unbearable, I gradually slowed my pace to walking. As my breathing stabilized, I reached down on the hem of my shirt and brought it up to my forehead, wiping the sweat away. Bending my body forward I reached down towards the ground, stretching out the my calf muscles and hamstrings.

Standing back up, I brought my arms up over my head to stretch out the muscles in my sides and back. As I swung my body to the side, my eyes caught sight of a familiar form sitting on a blanket not five feet from me.

_You've got to be fucking kidding me?! This is unreal. The fates are really on my side lately. _

Without realizing it, I had ended up right back at the same park as yesterday. Never in my life had I run in this park, and now I ended up here two days in a row!

Taking a few small steps forward I watched AG as she sat with her legs stretched out in front of her while her arms were positioned behind her, supporting her weight. Her head was tilted upwards towards the sky, her radiant skin drinking in the sun, and she was wearing those damn sun glasses again. I wanted to see her eyes, find out their color.

A war began raging inside of me.

_Talk to her? Don't talk to her?_

_Do I go over there and take the risk of Emmett finding out? _

_Not unless you want your ass kicked. _

_What if he didn't find out? _

_He's going to find out. It's his fucking sister! How would he not find out?_

_What if I don't go over there and talk to her? Then what? I wallow in self-pity? Wonder what could have been? Constantly dream about her for the rest of my life and wake up every morning with a terminal case of morning wood? _

The idea of getting my ass kicked sounded a lot more appealing than having a perpetual hard-on. I nervously ran my fingers through my hair, unsure what to do.

_But what do I say? _

_How do I approach her? _

_What if she doesn't want to be bothered? _

"Are you going to come over here and say hello? Or are you just going to pace back and forth all day next to my blanket?" a soft voice asked, cutting through my thoughts.

I instantly stopped pacing, which I hadn't even realized I was doing, and looked in the direction of the voice. Somehow during my internal ramblings, I ended up about two feet away from where AG was sitting.

_Did she mean me? _

"Yes, you," she stated, answering my thoughts.

_Did I just say that out loud? No, I didn't think so._

Looking around me, I realized that we were the only two people in the park, so she must have been referring to me.

Focusing my attention back on AG, I realized she was looking in my direction, her eyebrow arched expectantly.

"I..uh..um.." I choked out, before running my fingers through my hair for the hundredth time in the last hour.

_Fucking great! The girl of my dreams finally talks to me and I stutter like a fucking idiot. _

After clearing my throat, I took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm the violent beating of my heart, and walked towards her.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen," I stated softly, smiling as I introduced myself. Standing in front of her, I held out my hand for her to shake, but she didn't make a move to return the gesture.

_Um, okay. That's weird_, I thought to myself as I slowly pulled my hand back towards my body, rubbing it nervously up and down my thigh.

A large smile spread across her face and she sat up so she was sitting in an Indian style position. She waved hello to me before placing her hands in her lap.

_Maybe she didn't like to touch people?_

"Bella Swan," she replied. "Would you like to sit down and join me?" she gestured towards the spot on the blanket in front of her.

Nodding, I took a seat down in front of her, folding my legs up in front of my chest and resting my arms on my knees. A light breeze blew around us, causing her hair to blow around her face, sending her sweet scent in my direction. I inhaled deeply, trying not to be too obvious that I had essentially just sniffed her. She smelt of lavender and vanilla.

"I was beginning to wonder if you even saw me sitting here or if you were just going to trample right over me with all of your pacing. You were so focused on all that arguing with yourself and all," she teased, a small smirk playing on her lips. She brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

I felt my cheeks flame from embarrassment at her teasing_. So how much did she hear?_ _Great, she probably thinks I'm a total psycho._

As silence fell over us, I took the opportunity to get a closer look at AG – er, Bella. It was such a relief to finally know her name. _Bella_. The name fit her perfectly. She was even more beautiful up close. Her hair hung straight just past her shoulders, and was much darker than I had thought, revealing hints of auburn when the sun hit at the perfect angle. Her skin was pale, but radiant at the same time. I could now see a light splattering of freckles across her nose. Sunglasses still covered her eyes, and I so badly wanted to just pull them off of her face to see what color her eyes were. Her lips were a soft pink, the bottom one being slightly fuller then her top. I had to fight the urge to lean over and take it between my lips.

"So tell me Edward, do you often lurk around children's playgrounds?" she teased, breaking the silence. Her lips curved up into an adorable smirk, causing me to laugh and blush from embarrassment all at the same time.

_Bella was a sassy little thing wasn't she_?

Her ability to tease me within the first three minutes of meeting me, instantly gained my respect – and as impossible as it sounds, turned me on even more then I already was. Far too often, girls became either self-conscious around me or tried way too fucking hard to impress me by spouting off some ridiculous shit they thought was sexy.

Bella was sexy and adorable and she didn't even need to try. I'd only officially known her for ten minutes, but she'd already hooked me.

"Only on Friday's," I responded, joking right back.

She tilted her head to the side, laughing softly.

_Oh God, that sound! That melodic angel laugh. I could listen to it for hours and never grow tired of it. _

I realized then, that if I could, I would want nothing more then to listen to Bella laugh for the rest of my life.

"It's such a great day outside, I had to get out for a run and absorb some of the sun," I stated softly. I folded my hands together, staring at my fingers as I spoke. "Beautiful days in Michigan are often hard to come by. Ann Arbor is so scenic in the spring and fall, I take every opportunity to just get out and see everything - just get out and let my visual receptors absorb all the information they can."

I tilted my head upwards, to look at Bella. Her head was angled, giving the appearance that she was looking off to the side, but because of those damn sunglasses I had no idea where she was actually looking.

"Mmhm," she mumbled softly, nodding her head. She bit her lower lip softly. She seemed almost sad. Her fingers were picking at the blanket softly.

Frowning, I continued to study her body language. Now more then ever I wanted to see her eyes, hoping they would tell me what emotion she wasn't sharing with me. I wanted to know what got her looking so somber. I wanted to make it better – make her smile again. She had been so playful and cheery just moments ago. Was it something I said? I didn't think so.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly, keeping my eyes fixated on her.

"Oh yeah, sorry," she said quickly, nodding her head. She gave me a smile, and it seemed sincere enough. "Just got lost in thought for a moment," she continued, turning her head so she was looking back in my general direction again.

I nodded my head.

"So what is it that you do?" Bella asked, quickly changing the subject.

"What is it that I do?" I repeated, smirking. The question sounded so formal.

She laughed again and my lips instantly curved up into a wider smile.

_There it is. That laugh._

"Well, _Bella_, I _do_ lots of things," I stated cryptically. She let out another soft laugh at my avoidance.

_Hopefully, you soon_.

I shook my head, hoping to instantly clear the dirty thoughts that were suddenly flooding my mind.

_Bad, Edward! Bad! _

I could not think thoughts like that about Bella. I could already tell she was special, that there was something special about her. Plus, she was Emmett's sister.

_Fuck! Emmett! I had forgotten about him. But wait- she said her last name was Swan? _

"Bella?" I asked, "You said your last name was Swan, right?"

She nodded her head in affirmation.

"Why do you ask?" she wondered, she stopped picking at the blanket in front of her and she folded her hands into her lap. Her body language telling me I had her full attention, even though I still couldn't see her eyes.

"Your brother is Emmett McCarty, right?" I asked, blurting out my thoughts without thinking.

"How did you know that?" she asked suspiciously.

Fuck. I obviously had not thought that through very well. I ran my fingers through my hair, worried that I had given away my stalker tendencies.

"Are you one of his fraternity brothers?" she asked curiously. I could see an eyebrow arched over her sunglasses.

"I am, actually," I responded, nodding my head. "Good guess."

"How did you know I was his sister?" she questioned, a faint smirk forming on the edge of her lips. She looked as though she knew the answer to that already.

My mouth hung slightly agape, unsure on what to say.

_Well fuck, I just gave myself away on my stalker tendencies and without even knowing it. _

Stammering, I tried to formulate some sort of excuse without laying out my complete and utter creepiness in front of her, that I had basically been watching her for the last week as well as interrogating her brother about her. I ran my fingers through my hair, groaning inwardly at my big mouth idiocy.

Well, great, what if she tells him that I was here with her? That I sat down and talked to her after he threatened me to stay away from her and that I went behind his back? I was surely going to get my ass pummeled when he found out.

But she did invite me to sit down here. It would have been rude to decline, right? Of course it would have! I couldn't have hurt her feelings like that.

"Relax, no big deal," she stated as she held her hand up stopping my incessant rambling and internal argument. She just shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal how I knew who she was. She gave me a smile, letting out a little laugh.

"How come the different last names?" I asked, curiously. Looking at her intently, I leaned foreword slightly. I wanted my body language to show her that she had my undivided attention, as she had just given me previously. A burning need and desire began to move through me. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. I never wanted to leave this little blanket. I wanted to learn all there was to know about her, to be close to her. Never in my life had I _needed_ to know someone like I needed to know Bella Swan.

She shrugged again. "Same mom, different dads," she answered simply. I frowned slightly at her vague admission.

It was obvious she didn't want to talk anymore about it, which made me slightly depressed. Although what did I expect? We had just officially met less then fifteen minutes ago. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to share a lot of information about herself to a complete stranger. I had offered her nothing of me. Just because I felt this unexplainable need to know her, doesn't mean that she felt the same way.

I nodded my head and decided I would change the subject. There was plenty of time for more serious information sharing. Now that I officially met her, there was no way I was going to let this be the first and only time we spoke.

We shared a quiet moment before the conversation picked back up. Talking with Bella was light and easy. She was witty, sweet and adorable. She told me she worked at the library reading to children's groups and was getting a degree in education at UofM. As she spoke, she was animated in her excitement about her love for children. Like me, she had one more year until graduation.

I shared with her that I was on the path to medical school. Bella immediately picked up on my lack of excitement in regards to my career path. She was incredibly perceptive and while she acted curious, she didn't pry for more information. I was relieved by her lack of questioning because I didn't have the energy to go into that topic. It was a long and exhausting conversation. That one was for another day.

We discovered that we had the same love of anything and everything music related. I shared with her my love of playing the piano and the guitar. She then told me about how she had been playing the violin since she was six years old.

Like me, Bella had a very eclectic taste in music. She liked everything from classical to hard rock. A lot of our favorite bands were the same, and I'm not sure why, but that surprised me. She laughed at my shocked reaction to her love of Three Days Grace and my disgust at her obsession with Britney Spears. Bella's love of pop music lead to a heated argument about 'lack of talent' and a 'disgrace to the art of music'.

It was shocking how easily conversation flowed. I found myself absorbed in what she had to say, being unable to take my eyes off of her as she spoke. With each passing minute, I was becoming more and more wrapped up in Bella Swan. She was utter perfection.

Before we knew it, the sun began setting into the west, orange, pink and yellow hues surrounding us. Bella shivered lightly as a breeze cut through us, interrupting our conversation. Rubbing my arms, I noticed how much cooler it had gotten as the sun began to set behind the trees.

"Wow, where did the time go?" she asked quietly, smiling at me. "I hope I haven't kept you from anything," she stated softly, trailing off.

"Absolutely not, there was no where else I would have rather been," I stated honestly, smiling widely.

I stared at her for a moment, noticing she still hadn't taken her sunglasses off, even with the sun setting behind her.

Just as I was about to comment on it, my thoughts were interrupted by her name being called from the distance.

"Bella!" a female voice yelled. I whipped my head around to look in the direction the voice was coming from. I squinted to see who it was and let out a gasp.

It was the leggy blonde from when I first saw Bella at Starbucks and at the party - the blonde who was also Emmett's girlfriend. _Fuck_. I was so screwed. She'd for sure mention it to him.

"Hi Rose!" Bella called cheerfully, not bothering to wave or even look in the direction Rose was coming from.

Rose picked up her pace and eyed me suspiciously as she approached. She stopped just before she got to the blanket, her eyes narrowing at me. She looked between Bella and me, before meeting my eyes with a hateful glare.

_Great. Not her, too._

"Rose, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Rosalie Hale. She's my brother's fiancé and my best friend," Bella stated, happily, completely oblivious to the death rays Rosalie was shooting at me through her eyes.

"It's nice to meet you, Rosalie," I stood up to politely shake her hand but she just continued to glare at me.

"Yeah, yeah," she responded dismissively, not even bothering to return my gesture by shaking my hand.

I turned to look at Bella and saw that she was still sitting on the ground, a frown replacing the earlier smile she had on her face.

"Rosalie," Bella stated in a warning tone, noticing the attitude Rosalie was giving me. Bella shook her head, continuing to frown. I had to smile at Bella's reaction. I had to fight the urge to stick my tongue out at Rosalie. Bella was defending me, in her own way.

Rosalie just rolled her eyes, and turned to look down at Bella. "Bella, seriously, where the hell have you been? You told me you were going to call me and I never got a call! I was starting to get worried!"

"Sorry Rose, I ran into Edward here and we just got to talking and just didn't notice how late it got. No big deal," Bella responded as she shrugged her shoulders, reiterating that it really _was_ no big deal.

"Well, c'mon. I have dinner cooking at home, and you know how Emmett gets when he isn't fed.

Bella laughed and nodded her head. "Yes, of course. We wouldn't want to make the hungry bear wait for his food."

Bella began to gather up her things, kneeling on the blanket, and Rosalie bent down to help her. Bella sat back on her heels and scooted away from the blanket. As she did, Rosalie reached down to fold up the blanket and picked up Bella's backpack.

"Here let me help you up," I said softly, stepping closer to her. Bella smiled and reached her hand out to me. As I placed my hand in hers, I felt a light tingling sensation move up my arm, across my back and down my spine. I let out a sigh from the feeling of her skin on mine. The sensation caused me to involuntarily shiver. Looking at Bella, I noticed a shiver rake through her body as well. The smile on her lips growing wider.

Before standing up, Bella reached to her side and picked up a set of white sticks I hadn't noticed resting next to her until now. I watched her curiously as she stood up and let go of my hand. Backing up a few steps, she dropped the sticks out in front of her, shaking them so they snapped together and made one long stick.

I continued to stare at her confused. _What the heck is she doing with a stick like that? _

I noticed Rosalie watching me inquisitively out of the corner of my eye. She had a look on her face that I couldn't quite place. Almost as if she was trying to gauge my reaction. But my reaction to what?

I focused my full attention back on Bella just as she began to raise her sunglasses so they rested on top of her head.

That's when it clicked.

_Bella was blind!_

The stick she was holding in her hand was a cane the blind used to as a guide.

My mouth fell open from shock, but I quickly snapped it shut, realizing how utterly rude that was of me. Although Bella couldn't see it, Rosalie surely could. I darted my eyes to look at Rosalie and her eyes were throwing daggers at me again.

I focused my attention back on Bella and her eyes. They were a soft brown, like raw cinnamon. I noticed they had flecks of gold in them around her pupils. Once my eyes met hers, I noticed her inability to make direct eye-contact with me.

Bella was smiling brightly at me, unaware of my blatant shock.

"It was nice chatting with you, Edward," she said softly, almost shyly. Her demeanor was now completely different than it had been just ten minutes earlier. It was almost as if her sunglasses acted like a shield and provided her with confidence.

Then it dawned on me that she knew with the sunglasses on, I was unable to see her disability. That's why she hadn't taken them off. She hadn't wanted me to know. Now she was testing me, and I was probably failing miserably. I was just staring at her like a fool.

I swallowed thickly, before speaking. "Yes, Bella, it was nice talking to you, also."

"I come here every week day, providing the weather's nice. I like the peacefulness of this park," Bella stated. I realized then that this was her way of telling me she wanted to see me again, without putting herself out there. Another test, to see if I'd come back now that I knew.

I nodded and replied with an 'okay', unable to respond with anything else. The shock was still new and I was still processing. How had I not noticed? Of course I wouldn't have though, everything seemed perfectly normal. Why does it matter though? Does it even matter? I needed more time to process.

"Bye, Edward," Bella said as she reached her hand out to Rosalie. Rosalie took Bella's hand in hers and they turned to head towards the car.

"Bye, Bella," I whispered as I watched her retreating form. Rosalie turned to look over her shoulder as she walked, giving me one last intimidating angry glance.


	5. Chapter 5 Sweet Lime and Cedar

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this update out. RL has been a busy bitch and well, Blindella was giving me one hell of a time. **

**So many people to thank this time around! As always, my fantastic beta's BellaMadonna and KODEA for making time for me. Seriously, BM was a miracle worker with this chap. **

**Thank you to littleclarestar (On my Own) and Juliamine (It Was Only His Baby) for rec'ing AE on their latest chapter updates. Go read their fics! **

**Thank you to Bronzehairedgirl620, Leon McFrenchington, littleclarestar, agoraphobiantic and Waffles5509 for having a way too long and involved gchat convo with me about scents. OH – and for making me laugh and putting up with my incessant ramblings of self-deprecation. You guys are awesome! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. That's all SM. I do however own Blindella and Sightward. =) **

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**Chapter 5 – Sweet Lime and Cedar**

BPOV

Despite the tension rolling off of Rose, a smile was permanently stamped onto my face. Nothing was going to ruin this moment for me, especially not Rosalie and her asinine behavior. I wasn't going to pretend like I didn't know what was bothering Rose, I just chose to ignore it for now.

When I felt my cane clank against the side of the car, I snapped it closed and let Rose help me into the car. She slammed the door after I sat down and I buckled my seatbelt. I rolled my eyes at her childish behavior.

The clicking of her heels against the pavement could be heard as she walked around the car before opening the door and climbing in. I heard her door slam shut and her seatbelt click into place. The engine roared to life when she turned the ignition and I felt the sensation of movement as the car pulled away from the curb.

Verbal silence fell upon us, and it was obvious Rose wouldn't be making the first move to talk to me. It wasn't often that silence fell between the two of us. We had known each other for far too long, and she was my best friend. We knew everything there was to know about each other, even the dirty little secrets.

I squirmed in my seat as I listened to the grinding of Roses teeth: her heavy breathing, and tapping nails against the steering wheel, belied her annoyance. The combination of her silence and irritated disposition was beginning to put me on edge.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I broke the silence first. "Okay, Rose, would you please just talk to me? This silence is killing me. Go ahead. Spit it out before you choke to death!"

"You know the vein in your brother's forehead is going to burst when hears this," she blurted out, the leather of the steering wheel groaning against the strain of her herculean grasp. Typical Rose, she was never one to beat around the bush; she believed in jumping straight to the point.

"Rose! I can talk to a guy, for Christ's sake! You do understand that we were just talking!" I protested. I crossed my arms over my chest, while resting my head back against my seat again. Emmett's overprotective nature never really bothered me before. I knew he meant well, and I appreciated it, but where Edward Cullen was concerned, that attitude got really old, really fast!

"You didn't see the way he was looking at you," Rose mumbled. I don't think she intended for me to hear it.

My head snapped up and turned quickly in her direction. "Really?" I asked, enthusiastically, "What way was he looking at me?"

I didn't have to see her to know that she was rolling her eyes at me, not bothering to answer my questions. Perhaps I was overly enthusiastic.

"Fine, then don't tell him," I stated mischievously. "What Emmett doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Ugh, Bells. You know I can't lie to him!" Rose practically shrieked at me.

"It's not lying!" I protested, "It's just not elaborating on all the little details."

"I don't know, Bella."

"Rosalie, what he doesn't know wont hurt him," I repeated. "You know that he's overly protective of me. It gets annoying. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm a grown woman and perfectly capable of making my own decisions. That includes whether or not I want to talk to a guy." I let my breath out in a huff. "I may have a disability, but this doesn't define who I am. I just wish Em would see that," I finished softly, shutting my eyes and leaning my head back against the seat again. Chewing on my bottom lip, I tried to reign in my emotions. I couldn't get emotional about this, not now. "Besides, we were just talking. I'll probably never even hear from him again."

Truthfully, I was nervous about whether or not he understood my subtle hint of wanting to see him again. I tried to put myself out there, without _really_ putting myself out there. Initially, it was easy to play the role of 'Confident Bella,' because I had the shield of my sunglasses to hide behind.

I was surprised I had been able to keep my composure while I slid my sunglasses to the top of my head. I knew then that he would figure out I was blind. That was usually the point when guys went running for the hills, scared of what that meant, like I had some kind of contagious disease or something.

I was going to go back to the park on Monday with an attitude of cool, calm and confident. I was not going to let it bother me if Edward didn't show up. It wouldn't matter one way or the other.

At least that's what I was going to keep telling myself.

Deep down, however, I was secretly terrified he wouldn't show up. I've never put myself out there, like I had with him. I felt drawn to him in ways that I'd never felt with anyone before. Granted, I've never had much of an opportunity to be drawn to a man like I was to Edward, but that was beside the point. The point was, I felt it instantly; the pull to him was so strong. I felt it the moment I first heard his voice and smelled his scent as it floated in the air towards me. I felt the surge of electricity that crackled in the small distance between us.

As silence fell once more, I let my thoughts wander. I had felt it before, that electricity of his presence, exactly one week ago during a trip to Starbucks with Rosalie. She and I had decided to get a cup of coffee before she dropped me off at the library for one of the story-times I lead.

Rose and I had been discussing nothing of importance, just laughing and talking, when the scent of lime and cedar took me by surprise, causing my words to falter. The sweet yet rustic scent wafted through my nose, sending tingles down my spine.

If the scent was overpowering enough to send shock waves through me, the voice that accompanied the scent took me over the edge!

"_I'll just take a double shot of espresso." _

The voice held the smoothness of steel, tempered with the soft vibrations of a cello.

Nearly every waking minute of the days since that chance encounter at Starbucks had been spent thinking of my Mystery Man, as I affectionately called him in my head. That grainy, yet smooth as steel voice, invaded the very depths of my brain. I found myself daydreaming more than I'd care to admit about him. While I slept at night, the sweet scent of lime and cedar assaulted my senses to the point where I would wake up abruptly, feeling as though he was actually in the room with me. I could hear his voice and smell his scent so clearly, it was almost frightening.

Several days later Rose and I were at Starbucks again, when I heard his voice from behind me. It caught me off guard and I almost thought I was dreaming again. I inhaled deeply, the faint scent of lime and cedar again assaulted my senses.

_Mystery Man._

While Rose went to the ladies room and got our coffees, I sat stoically, listening in on his conversation without an ounce of shame. I soon concluded he was studying for a chemistry exam with a girl from his class. As I listened to him speak, I felt my heart rate accelerate and my breathing quicken. What was the matter with me? This was just some random man's voice. No big deal.

Thank god Rose didn't return and see me like this; she'd know something was up instantly.

I couldn't help but smile as I continued to listen. It was obvious when he became frustrated over something he didn't understand because he would huff and words would almost take on a gritty texture. Then his classmate would explain the material to him, abating his frustration, and he would laugh softly to himself, like the information should have been so obvious to him. I couldn't help but laugh softly as well, it was contagious.

All too soon, Rose came back with our coffees and I had to turn my attention back to her. Occasionally I would be able to sneak a listen to the conversation going on behind me. I had to fight back a smile each time his laughter carried over the top of the booth. No need to make Rosalie suspicious of my behavior. She would just think I was crazy; getting so worked up over a stranger's voice and scent.

Later that day, I decided to spend the afternoon at a local park. When weather permitted, the place was a favorite of mine. It was peaceful, yet the sounds of children's laughter echoed throughout, bringing a smile to my face. I felt happy, safe and content every time I was there.

I had been listening to my iPod, absorbed in the music and my own thoughts, when a light breeze wrapped around me, bringing with it the all-too familiar wafts of cedar and sweet lime with a slight hint of salt. Sweat? Instantly, my head jerked around as though I would be able to see where the delectable fragrance was coming from. I knew without a doubt it was my Mystery Man. It was the most unusual combination of fragrances I had ever smelled, and I had a particular talent for picking out the most minuscule of aromas, therefore I would surely remember if I had smelt anything like it before.

He was gone before I plucked up the nerve to speak to him. Sighing dejectedly, I had laid back down on the blanket. Next time, if there ever was a next time, I promised myself I would say something to him. I had to; there was no way I could keep going on this way.

I didn't back down on my promise either. Luck was with me today! I had taken a chance and sat in the same spot today. And that's when it happened. I heard that voice a mere moment after his wonderful fragrance clouded my brain again.

He was pacing back and forth in the grass near me, sending a breezy aroma of salty lime and cedar in my direction. Grass crunched under his feet as he quickly moved back and forth from behind me. The thudding of his feet getting closer and closer as the seconds passed. Was he going to trample me? I was beginning to wonder if he even saw me sitting there.

Then I heard bits and pieces of his incoherent mumblings, and I knew he had definitely seen me. I smiled to myself as it became apparent that he was debating whether or not he should approach me. I heard no other voices within the vicinity, so I knew he was referring to me.

Staying true to my self-promise, I spoke to him. "Are you going to come over here and say hello? Or are you just going to pace back and forth all day next to my blanket?" I had tried to keep my voice calm, confident and with an underlying teasing tone.

Stopping suddenly in his tracks, I had deduced, by his sudden intake of breath, that he was caught of guard, not realizing I would have seen him. Not that I had seen him, but I wasn't deaf, I heard the sound of his footsteps. I don't even think he realized he was pacing, with the internal ramblings and all. He continued to mumble to himself and I had to assure him that I was indeed, talking to him. I invited him to sit down with me, feeling extra confident, behind the shield of my sunglasses. There was no way he'd be able to figure out I was blind until I felt comfortable telling him. At that time, I hadn't even planned on telling him. I figured if I ever saw him again, then _maybe_ I'd tell him. I figured I'd just put-off the inevitable as long as possible.

But then he spoke to me, gathering himself into the cool, confident person I knew he was, and introduced himself.

"_Hello, I'm Edward Cullen." _

_Smooth as steel with the echo of soft vibrations from a cello. _

I nearly turned into a puddle of goo right there on the blanket and he'd only said five words to me!

I pulled myself together and introduced myself. I had been surprised that he had made the connection between Emmett and me. We didn't share the same last name, so I had no idea how he had made the connection. It dawned on me that maybe he had seen me with Emmett, and the only logical explanation for that was that he was in Emmett's fraternity. He had confirmed my suspicions and he seemed oddly embarrassed by it. I wasn't sure why.

Talking to him was surprisingly easy; our conversation was natural and carefree. The teasing banter between us felt so comfortable, like we had known each other for years. We had more in common then I would ever have imagined. I shared with him my passion for children, and he shared that he was on the pre-med track. I could sense from the uncomfortable tone in his voice that he didn't want to discuss it. My curiosity was peaked and I hoped I would be able to hear about it later. I found myself wanting to know anything and everything that Edward Cullen had to offer about himself. I just enjoyed listening to him talk. Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, dusk was upon us.

Rosalie found me, and I realized that I had forgotten to call her. Of course she would have been worried! I usually called her for a ride home.

As Rose began to gather up my stuff, Edward had offered to help me up off of the blanket. He placed his hand into mine, shooting a tingling sensation straight up my arm and down my spine. His hands were warm, his palm soft, while the tips of his fingers were rougher, most likely from his years of playing the guitar. I shuddered from the intense pleasure of feeling his skin against mine, even if it was just his hands.

I had been amazed, and still was, by how comfortable I felt in his presence, which is why I had made the split second decision to show him the real _me_.

I could tell he was taken by surprise when he realized I was blind. His breathing sped up, his voice caught in his throat. The stuttering and irritated tone in Rosalie's voice also gave it away. However, I expected him to react that way. I would have been concerned if he hadn't been shocked.

###

"Bella, we're home," Rosalie stated softly, breaking me out of my quiet reverie. Nodding my head minutely, I unbuckled my seat belt and grabbed my cane. Rose came around the car, opening my door for me.

"Thank you, Rose." I placed my feet on the ground, standing up. Tapping my cane against the ground, I made my way toward the front door of the house I shared with Rose and Emmett.

We had been renting the same house for the last three years, since I started college. Rose and Emmett had decided to move out of the dorms and in with each other, and they had been gracious enough to ask me to live with them when I started at UofM. I really hadn't missed the whole 'dorm experience' and given my 'special circumstance,' the university didn't have a problem with me living off campus. Of course, Emmett wouldn't have it any other way. He would have fought the university if they had tried to block the move.

Emmett and Rose had been dating since they were fifteen years old and have been engaged for the past few months. They haven't set a date yet, choosing to wait until they finished school and to see if Emmett got into graduate school for physical therapy.

Since Em and Rose had been dating for such a long time, she and I naturally became best friends. Initially, I sensed that she was uncomfortable with me because of my disability. However, that quickly dissipated the longer she and Em dated, and the more we hung out.

Truthfully, Rose was the closest, and only, girlfriend I had. There were some women at the library that I was friendly with and talked to, but they were all older and more like mother figures than anything else. Rose introduced me to her sorority sisters, but I could tell the only reason they talked to me was because they were afraid of Rose. It was obvious that they were uncomfortable with "the blind girl." Most people were, after all. It was a truth I long ago accepted.

We headed into the kitchen as soon as we walked through the door. I took a seat at the table while she got dinner started.

"We're just going to have some barbeque chicken, veggies, and potatoes for dinner. Is that cool?" Rose asked.

"Sure," I stated, as I listened to her move about the kitchen, her feet patting against the floor as she walked. The sounds of cooking and Rose playing 'Susie Homemaker' filled my ears: Cupboards banging, the fridge door opening, pans clinking. All the familiar sounds of a kitchen in-use echoed around me.

My thoughts drifted back to Edward, as conversation lulled between Rose and me. I didn't think she was avoiding conversation with me; I just figured she was busy concentrating on not burning dinner. Although considering our conversation home from the park, I wouldn't completely rule out the possibility.

"Rose, can we talk some more?" I asked her, wanting to continue our conversation from the car. I needed to pump her for more information about Edward.

"Yes of course," she responded quickly, obviously distracted.

I sighed.

"Rose, can you tell me, um, what he looks like?" I asked her shyly. I needed to know. The sound of his voice echoed through my mind, the deep, smooth vibrato of his voice affected me in way that I had never been affected by anyone before. I just felt so drawn to him. I almost didn't even care what he looked like. It's not like I'd ever be able to see him anyway. But it'd be nice to know he wasn't completely deformed.

A pan clanged as it hit the floor; Rose obviously being caught off guard by my question. I winced slightly as the loud clank vibrated through my ear drums.

"Oh geez, Bells, I don't know. I mean Emmett…" she was obviously reluctant to tell me anything for fear of upsetting my brother.

"C'mon Rose, I need my best friend right now. Not Emmett's fiancé."

I heard her let out a resigned sigh. "Let me just put this chicken in the oven."

She opened the oven door, the metal hinges creaking. I heard the sound of metal sliding against metal as the pan hit the wire rack. The door slammed shut, and the pitter-patter of her feet could be heard a she walked over toward me.

"Okay, so you want to know what he looks like.., um…" Rose stated with an uncomfortable edge to her voice.

I nodded my head, encouraging her to continue.

"Well, he's tall…with dark hair… It's really kind of a reddish-brown color…" she paused and I waited impatiently for her to continue.

"Rose! C'mon, give me more details than that! Is he cute?" A small smile curved up on my lips at the question.

She let out a groan and sighed, "Okay, this conversation is staying between us, right?"

I nodded my head vigorously and smiling. "Of course! Just two best friends chatting about boys!"

She let out a laugh, most likely from my over eagerness about the situation, and I had to smile.

"Well, yes if I am being honest, he's _very_ cute." I could practically hear the wide smile that was sure to be plastered across her face.

I let out a squeal of excitement and then quickly smacked my hands over my mouth trying to contain myself.

Rosalie let out a boisterous and carefree laugh. "Bells! I've never seen you like this before."

"I know Rose! I don't know what's come over me. I just have this _feeling_ about him. I can't describe it!" I exclaimed, a huge smile spreading over my face. I couldn't help it! Finally being able to talk about him was such a rush.

"Bella's got a crush. Bella's got a crush," Rosalie sang teasingly. I laughed because she was so right.

"Rose, give me more details before I burst!"

"Okay, Okay! Don't get your panties in a bunch," She stated, still laughing. "Like I said, he's got dark hair that is reddish in color, I'd say almost bronze. His eyes are a shade of green that is almost impossible to describe – almost a deep jade color. His jaw is cut sharp, at almost a 90-degree angle."

Closing my eyes, I listened as Rose described Edward's appearance, forming a picture of him in my mind. I'm sure the picture in my head wasn't doing his beauty justice.

"Honestly, Bells, and you know I think Emmett is the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on, but Edward is a close second. The chiseled structure of his face is a photographer's dream. When he smiles, his lips turn up into an undeniably sexy smirk. But don't you dare ever tell Emmett I said that!"

I laughed, shaking my head. "Cross my heart, Rose. Trust me; this conversation will remain between us. Last thing I need is Em finding out about this," I said, sighing, the mental image of Edward leaving my mind temporarily as I thought about Emmett's reaction. Naturally, he was going to be overbearing and insane. But, that's just how Emmett was with me, and I knew it was going to take a while for him to change.

As if on cue, I heard the rumble of Emmett's car pulling into the driveway. The engine turned off, and he slammed the car door, whistling as he entered the house.

"Good evening, my beautiful ladies!" Emmett exclaimed in his usual jovial tone. I loved my brother and his usual carefree nature. He'd been like that his entire life, good natured and happy. It was nearly impossible to be in a bad mood around a guy like Emmett. Growing up with him definitely made for an interesting childhood, but I wouldn't change it for the world. He's my rock and the one person in my life I could _always_ count on, no matter what. He is the most important person in my life, without a doubt.

I heard him walk over to Rose, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi Emmett," I stated, my voice reflecting the happiness that was practically bursting out of me.

"Well, Bells, aren't you in a good mood!" Emmett chuckled a little as he walked over to give me a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm just happy to see my favorite big brother!" I joked, evading his inevitable question about what's got me in such a good mood.

"Yeah, yeah whatever, Bells. Hey – where's my dinner?" Emmet questioned with a joking edge to his voice. He knew it'd get Rosalie all riled up.

I laughed as I could so clearly imagine her rolling her eyes in my mind. The chair Rosalie had been sitting in, across from me, squeaked a little as it was scooted across the hardwood floor. I heard a thump, and an 'OW,' signaling that Rose had most definitely gotten up and smacked Emmett on the back of the head. I heard him groan and she laughed.

She let out a giggle and sigh as I heard Emmett kiss her and whisper that he loved her.

I sighed, biting my lip and running my fingers through my hair. This was one of those times that I was glad to not have my sight. Rosalie and Emmett were perfect for each other. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a twinge of jealousy. Living with a couple as in-love with each other as Rose and Emmett were wasn't easy. I longed to find the kind of happiness that they had found with each other. I longed to be touched – to be kissed – with the kind of passion that Emmett felt for Rose. I wanted, no I _needed, _someone to share all my secrets with, to talk to late at night when I couldn't sleep, to comfort me when I was scared, and to hold me when I was sad. I longed for the feeling of just _knowing_ that someone loved me, as a man loves a woman.

For the longest time, I felt like it would never happen for me. I felt like I just wasn't destined to be that happy. That I wasn't beautiful enough, smart enough, or that no one wanted to be with someone like me: Someone who was blind or that they saw as being overly dependent, a burden. I didn't want to be anyone's burden. I wanted to be someone's world; someone's everything.

For the first time in my entire life, my gut was telling me that it might be possible. The notion terrified me and excited me all at the same time. I was trying my hardest not to get my hopes up, that Edward could very well not show up. He could be just like every other guy I had ever met in my entire life, and go running for the hills.

But my intuition told me that he was different and that he _would_ show up next week to meet me again.

* * *

**A/N: Is he going to show up?! ;) Well, what did you all think about Blindella? Please let me know by leaving a little note for my after clicking that little green button below. Also, I want to say thank you to all the new people who have put this on alert/favorite. It makes me all giddy. Come out of hiding and say hello! **

**LASTLY (and I swear I'm done), go read Agoraphobiantic's "23 Seconds". It's for the Les Femmes Noires Contest. It's awesome! DARK and EVIL Bella! Nothing like you've ever read, I promise you that. Also, she and I will be collabing on the continuance once the contest is over. So put us on alert if you'd like to read that. Link on my profile. **


	6. Chapter 6 Tire Swing Talks

**A/N: **Thank you to my fantastic beta's _**BellaMadonna**_ and _**koDEA**_. You ladies rock hardcore. This fic wouldn't be the same without you.

Thank you to my ladies on gchat who are continually supportive and excited over this fic. I love you all hard and your excitement over it makes my heart burst with happiness. I have to thank _**Agoraphobiantic**_ - my fic wife and soulmate on the other side of the world - just because she's awesome and I don't know what I would do without her, both in relation to the fic world and RL.

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Twilight.

- - - -

_You risk more by risking nothing at all._

- - - -

**Chapter 6 – Tire Swing Talks **

EPOV

Pulling into the circular driveway of my parent's home, I parked behind Jasper's Mercedes GLK and killed the ignition. I leaned back in my seat, resting my head and closing my eyes for a moment. Thoughts of Bella had been consuming me for the last few days, clouding my mind of anything else, thus making me ill prepared for the inevitable argument that was sure to come between my father and myself today. I'm sure today would be interesting, simply because I hadn't spoken to my father in nearly a week and I knew he'd just ridicule and grill me about my course work.

How did I know this? I knew this because that's what happened every single time my father and I spoke and every single one of these Sunday family brunches.

Bella.

Bella had been at the forefront of my thoughts and dreams for the last two days, not that my dreams were anything different since I had first laid eyes on her, but this time my thoughts were different. I didn't know quite what to do about the recent development.

Bella was blind.

I wasn't sure why, but that new bit of information really had me distraught. It shouldn't really matter, should it? But yet, it did, and I was finding it hard to place what was bothering me so much about it. She was incredibly beautiful, smart, funny, seemed to know what she wanted out of life – everything I had ever thought I wanted in a girl. So what the fuck was my problem?!

I knew that tomorrow, Bella would be waiting for me at the park. I still hadn't even decided if I was going to go back there and see her again. I didn't know if I could. It would be a real dick thing for me to do, but I just didn't know if I could do it.

Taking a deep breath and shaking my head in an attempt to rid my thoughts of Bella – although it wasn't fucking likely that it would happen, I slowly got out of the car and headed up the brick steps and through the front door of my childhood home.

"Hello," I called out as I stepped into the foyer, slipping off my shoes. My mother was pretty much OCD when it came to a clean house. She made sure everyone took off their shoes. She couldn't stand the hardwoods being dirty. I'm surprised my ass wasn't deformed from all the spankings I endured as a child.

"We're in here, honey," I heard my mom call from the kitchen. "Don't forget to take your shoes off!"

I rolled my eyes as I headed through the hallway and towards the wide open kitchen. However, before I could walk through the high archway into the kitchen, a small, yet powerful, body charged me.

I groaned as Alice slammed into me, jumping up and wrapping her arms around my neck in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her back.

"Hey short-stuff," I said as I reached my hand up and ruffled her hair.

She let out an aggravated sigh as she released my neck. "Damn it, Edward, don't touch my hair!" she shrieked at me, as she smoothed down her dark hair. In an attempt to look angry, she screwed her face up into a scowl, but she just looked so damn idiotic I had to laugh.

She rolled her eyes and punched me in the stomach. "You're lucky I love you so much you little fucker."

"Little? Who you callin' little, shorty? There ain't nothing little about me!" I stated teasingly, shaking my eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"You're disgusting," she said, rolling her eyes at me, and smacking me in the stomach, causing me to hunch over. The girl was tiny, but she packed a mean punch!

"I missed you, ya big dork," Alice continued as I straightened up and she threaded her arm through my mine.

"I missed you, too."

"Have you been ignoring me? I haven't heard from you in almost two weeks!"

"Sorry Alice, I've just been a little… Distracted,"

"Hmm, distracted you say," Alice stated, eyeing me suspiciously, "Tell me about her."

I coughed loudly, and then laughed nervously. "What are you talking about Alice? Who is 'her'?"

Alice rolled her eyes at me, and stepped in front of me as I tried to go around her in an attempt to avoid the intrusive questions that were certainly soon to follow. Where my sister was concerned, there was no such thing as tact. Alice believed that she deserved to know about everything going on in everyone's life, especially mine. It didn't help that I always told her everything anyway, so that sort of gave her the green light to ask me whatever the fuck she wanted, whenever the fuck she wanted to. Plus, even if I didn't tell her everything, she would know anyway, considering she knew me better than I know myself – as cliché as that fucking sounded.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Can we talk about it later, Al?"

She continued to eye me suspiciously, but nodded her head. I wouldn't be able to avoid this conversation with her, and she knew it. Truthfully, I wanted to talk to her about it. I knew she'd be able to help me sort through my uncertain and discontented thoughts.

Half an hour later, the five of us were sitting around the table, engaging in nonchalant conversation.

"Edward, how are classes, man? Anxious to finish up?" Jasper asked me, from across the table, before taking a bite of his chicken.

I nodded my head enthusiastically, swallowing the food I had been chewing. "You have no idea - although, I'm really excited for Thursday. In my Art of Music course, where the focus is on the organizational principles and historical development of music from the Middle Ages to the twentieth century, we've been working the majority of the semester towards a final project. Thursday, I present mine. I've chosen to focus on the Renaissance period. I actually was able to track down a lute –,"

"A what?" Jasper asked me, arching his eyebrow.

"A _lute_. In simple terms, it's basically a guitar," I explained. "Anyway, so I found one in mint condition and bought it –,"

"How much did that cost? I'm assuming you were _wasting_ the money I put in your account on that ridiculous thing, since you don't have a job. It better not have cost a fortune," my father interrupted, not even bothering to look up from his dinner plate as he spoke.

I looked at him incredulously, and no matter how often he continued to berate my love of music, it still shocked me he could be so outwardly insensitive to it.

"Go on, honey, tell us about your project," my mother stated quietly, patting me on the hand gently while also giving me a look that was an attempt at apologizing for my father's actions. She always did that shit, apologizing for him, and his dick-like behavior.

Shooting a glance over at Alice, I noticed she was giving me a sympathetic smile. I knew she understood exactly how I was feeling right now.

Taking a deep breath, I continued, "so I bought the lute, and I've written an authentic Renaissance piece to accompany my research. My professor told us to be creative in our final project ideas, but I'm fairly positive that I'm the only one who has taken this much initiative."

"Initiative," my father mumbled, shaking his head, "should be taking more initiative in subjects that actually matter."

Narrowing my eyes at my father, I gripped my fork firmly, the handle bending from the strain of my fingers against it. The rage boiled up inside of me and threatened to erupt like lava from a volcano. Because my sister has super human powers to predict the future, or at least we joke like she does, she interrupted my internal toxic thoughts by asking if she and I could be excused from the table; and before I knew it, she was dragging me by the arm out the door. Like I said, she's strong for being five foot nothin'.

Alice didn't stop pulling on my arm until we reached the large tire swing hanging from the oak tree at the side of the house. My mother never did have the heart to take it down. She said she wanted to save it for her grandbabies. The tire was large enough that it would still fit Alice and me in it quite comfortably. As kids, Alice and I would spend hours at a time playing games on this old tree. It was perfect for climbing and many summer days were spent pretending to be pirates, Robin Hood and Tom Sawyer.

I climbed into the middle of the tire, sitting on the edge and holding it still while Alice climbed in to sit opposite of me. Placing my feet on the ground, I pushed us forward so we began swinging slowly. She propped her legs up onto the tire next to my sides, letting me take full control of the speed we were swinging, just like when we were kids.

One thing I loved about Alice, although she liked to pry and often butted into my personal life, she always gave me time to just be in my own thoughts when I needed her to. She had a sixth sense about what I needed and when I needed it. I knew she sensed that I just needed to sit here with her for a while in silence, so she was giving me that time. Really, we didn't need to speak to have a conversation. It was a weird sibling bond we had.

"I just don't understand why he has to do that," I stated, as I continued to swing us back and forth, the movement calming me down. I think this why Alice brought me here, knowing that being on here would settle me down and help me to think more clearly. It always had when I was kid, so it shouldn't surprise me that it still had that effect on me.

"You know he loves you, he just wants what's best for you."

I guffawed bitterly at her words, "Yeah, right."

"I know it's hard to see it that way, Edward. But it's true."

"If he really wanted what was best for me, he'd realize that what's best for me is what makes me happy."

Alice nodded, "In a perfect world, yes. But this isn't a perfect world and dad isn't perfect."

"No fucking kidding," I mumbled, as I gripped tightly to the rope holding up the tire swing, practically giving myself rope burn. She rolled her eyes at me.

"Tell me about this girl," Alice prodded, after we had been sitting in silence for a good ten minutes or so.

"There's not much to tell," I evaded, looking away from Alice's face.

"There must be enough to tell if she's that much of a distraction," she stated, and I saw her giving me a pointed look out of the corner of my eye.

I sighed. "I don't really know her. I've only just met her."

"Okay and what else?"

I rolled my eyes. Alice's persistence shouldn't seem like that much of a shock to me.

"I had been seeing her around campus and I finally got up enough nerve to talk to her this past Friday, while I was running through a park not far from my apartment, and I ran into her."

"What is her name?"

"Bella."

"Beautiful name," Alice stated softly. I looked up at her and saw her studying my face intently.

"Alice, she's the most beautiful fucking girl I've ever laid eyes on. She's smart as hell, funny, and kept me on my toes during our entire conversation. She's sassy as hell and we even seem to like the majority of the same music. She plays the violin and wants to be a teacher. She's practically a fucking saint!"

"She sounds like an incredible girl."

"Incredible doesn't even describe it, there isn't even a word to accurately describe her..," I stated, trailing off.

"But?" Alice asked.

"But what?"

"There's clearly something else, it's written all over your face."

Letting out a heavy breath, I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the ends. I stopped the swing and looked off into the distance. "She's blind."

"So?" Alice asked, not even stopping to think about what I just said. You would have thought I told her Bella had blue eyes or something else that was completely common.

I looked her in the eyes, "What do you mean 'so'? I just told you Bella was blind. She's _blind,_ Alice!"

"I know, you ass. I heard you the first time. What's the problem?"

"I don't know, and that's the problem!" I yelled, planting my feet on the ground while I rested my elbows on my knees and dragged my fingers through my hair roughly. "I don't fucking know! She's the most amazing fucking girl I've ever met in my entire life and I can't stop thinking about her, but I just can't get over the fact that she can't see!"

"Are you scared?"

I jerked my head up so I was still looking at her, my elbows still resting on my knees. "Scared?" I repeated.

"Yes, scared. Did you ever stop to think that might be the problem?" she asked, arching an eyebrow at me. "It's the fear of the unknown. You've never been exposed to someone who is visually impaired. I mean, you've never even really been exposed to anyone with a disability before! It's kind of understandable that it might make you nervous. How did you find out?"

I quickly explained about Bella's and my conversation in the park, Rosalie coming to pick up Bella and then when she slid her sunglasses up on top of her head and all the pieces fell into place.

"See? You were blindsided – no pun intended."

I rolled my eyes at her play on words, even if she said it was unintentional.

"What do you think you might be scared of?" she asked me softly.

I shook my head. "I don't know. Doing something wrong, or not knowing what to do in general, offending her, not being there for her the way she needs me to be," I rambled off a few of the insecurities I hadn't even realized I was feeling.

"Edward, those are all things that everyone entering into a possible relationship fears when you really like someone. Everyone has insecurities and is worried about fucking something up that could be potentially great. Sure, Bella is blind, but that doesn't define who she is. I don't know how long she's had the visual impairment, but judging by how you've described her, she seems to be doing just fine in life. She doesn't let her disability bother her, so you shouldn't let it bother you either.

I nodded my head, letting her know I was hearing what she was saying while letting the words sink in.

"Don't let your fears stop you from exploring something that could turn out to change the rest of your life."

"When did you get so damn wise?" I asked her, giving her a wide smile.

She shrugged, smiling widely. "I don't know, it must be a gift."

I rolled me eyes, but let out a quiet chuckle.

"Just listen to your heart, Edward." Alice stated, softly giving me a smile.

I nodded my head, and started swinging us back and forth once again.

~*~*~

As I put my car into park, I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced around. My eyes immediately scanned to the spot in the grass where I knew Bella would be sitting. I took a moment to watch her, and even from this distance I could tell how completely beautiful and radiant she was. The sun was shining brightly, its warmth hitting her deliciously creamy skin. Instantly, I was overcome with the need to touch her skin, to feel its softness. She was wearing a deep blue tank-top and a long beige skirt. The blue of her tank top complimented her skin and without thinking, that shade of blue became my new favorite color. Her fingers were in her hair, playing with the ends as she glanced around the park. Undoubtedly, she was looking for me. Her head turned in my direction, and my heart started beating erratically. Realistically, I knew she couldn't see me, but I knew she was attempting to lookfor me in her own way, to sense my presence. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, frowning.

My heart clenched at the sight and the apparent sadness etched all over her face. Even though her eyes were hidden by her sunglasses, I knew the insecurity I would find in her beautiful cinnamon eyes. It killed me that I had placed it there, placed insecurity and doubt in the confident and beautiful woman I had met last week. All because of _my _selfish insecurities and self-doubt, that I wouldn't be good enough for her.

Alice's advice rang loud in my ears. _"Don't let your fears stop you from exploring something that could turn out to change the rest of your life." _

After my conversation with Alice yesterday, I knew without a doubt that I would come and meet Bella today.

Glancing at my watch, I realized that I was just about half an hour later then the time she had hinted she would be there. Taking a deep breath I opened the car door and bolted towards her, not wanting her to wait a second longer because of my dickish behavior.

I half walked-half ran to Bella. Why had I been so foolish? Why had I let my insecurities get the best of me? There was a beautiful girl waiting for me; waiting and wanting to get to know me. I couldn't – no I _wouldn't­_ – fuck this up.

Slowing my pace, I approached her from the side, not wanting to startle her with a hasty approach. Her hands rested in her lap, her legs folded up underneath her skirt and her head was angled down as if she were looking at her hands. Her iPod rested on the blanket in front of her, one ear bud dangled down near her hands in her lap while the other one was hidden beneath her long dark hair. Her delectable pink lips were curved downward into a frown. My body was suddenly overcome with the need to kiss her, to take that frown away. The need to make her smile was all consuming and I was having trouble breathing.

"I thought you weren't going to come," a soft voice stated, breaking me out of my thoughts. Bella was looking in my direction, the frown still prominent on her gorgeous features.

"I'm sorry. I..I uh…_fuck_," I stuttered out, running my fingers through my hair unable to come up with a legitimate excuse. A perfect eyebrow peaked up over the top of her sunglasses, expectantly waiting for me to explain further.

I took a deep breath, "May I sit down?" I asked her softly, not taking my eyes off of her. She nodded, and gestured to the space in front of her on the blanket.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I don't have an excuse or even a good reason. I'm here now, and there is no where else in the world I'd rather be." I explained simply, hoping that it was good enough. I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't all that great with words, especially when it came to emotions.

She was quiet for a moment, and took her bottom lip in between her teeth. God, that was sexy. She was so sweet, innocent and completely captivating. I wanted nothing more than to be those two top teeth, and nip at the plump succulent bottom lip of hers. Ever so slowly, as if she could read my thoughts or see that I was practically drooling over her, she drew her lip out from under her teeth and gave me a small smile.

"Don't let it happen again." Her tone was teasing, but had a hint of warning to it that told me if I fucked up again, I wouldn't be getting off so easily.

Conversation began easily between Bella and me. I found it was easy to talk to her and I felt more comfortable with her then I had with any other girl from my past. It felt as though we discussed everything and nothing all at the same time. We touched on weather, classes, and what we hoped our future held. Bella asked me about my family. I told her all about Alice and my mother, Esme, but evaded all questions related to my father. I didn't want to bring down the lighthearted atmosphere by mentioning my father. She seemed to be fine with my avoidance on the topic and we quickly moved on to other things. It appeared she was doing some evading of her own when I mentioned her family as well. She spoke of her closeness with Rosalie and how long Emmett and she had been together but Bella seemed to steer clear of any mention of her parents. This had me extremely curious as to why this might be, but I didn't want to ask too many personal questions too soon.

Briefly, I looked down at my watch and noticed that three hours had gone by. We had pushed out the world and retreated into our own little bubble. The bubble was comfortable, and I liked being in there with her.

Reluctantly, I mentioned that it was probably time we start heading home. She agreed, stating she had finals to study for as well.

"Bella, could I give you a ride home?" I asked her tentatively, nervous at the possibility of her turning me down. It was silly, but the fear was there in the pit of my stomach nonetheless.

"I would love that." She nodded her head, smiling brightly.

I helped her pack up her belongings and put them into her messenger bag. I handed it to her and she slung it over her shoulder as she snapped her guiding cane open and tapped it against the grass.

I swallowed nervously and ran my fingers through my hair. I glanced around the park looking to see if anyone was staring at us. Before I even let my thoughts wander in a negative direction, I internally chastised myself for even giving a shit whether or not people were looking at us. I liked Bella. I wanted to get to know more about her and I wanted to spend more time with her. I supposed if people were staring, it'd be something I'd have to get used to. Then the idea of people staring didn't so much as bother me, but really fucking annoyed me. That people would be that fucking rude and stare at her. But of course, she's so damn gorgeous; people probably stared at her all the time just simply because of that fact.

I felt myself getting worked up as I continued my perusal of the park, and noticed that there were indeed two people several yards away, who were in fact staring at us. I felt annoyance and anger rise inside me at their blatant rudeness. I took two steps backward so I was standing next to Bella, and boldly took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together. My stomach did a flip-flop as our skin made contact and she jumped slightly, probably startled and not expecting the intimate contact. However, she didn't pull away.

Her hand was small and soft in mine, and I rubbed my thumb against the inside of her palm. She shivered slightly, but still didn't pull away. I continued to glare across the park at the couple, who still hadn't stopped staring, but the soothing feeling of Bella's skin on mine was beginning to calm my agitation. Although initially, I had felt slightly insecure about the idea of people staring at us, the feeling was quickly overpowered by the need to protect her.

"C'mon," I whispered, "My car is this way."

She nodded her head, as I gently tugged on her arm, leading her in the direction of my car. We walked slowly, the only sounds coming from people around us and the tapping of her cane against the grass and then the pavement.

I wanted to tell her she didn't need to use that, I would guide her but I bit my tongue, not wanting to offend her. There was so much I wanted to ask her. So much I wanted to know about her.

I smiled down at her as we walked, and saw a small smile was present on her face as well. Her thumb was now rubbing small circles on my thumb, igniting my skin and sending tingles down my spine.

Opening the door as we reached the car, I helped her inside and tossed her belongings in the back. I quickly ran around the side of the car and hopped into the driver's seat.

"So where are we headed? I have a GPS."

As I buckled my seatbelt she told me her address and I typed it into the navigation system.

As we turned on to her street, my heart dropped into my stomach as I began to realize I didn't know when I would see her again. I wanted to see her tomorrow, and every day after that, for the rest of eternity. However, I knew it wasn't going to be possible until at least the weekend. Finals would be consuming me for the rest of this week.

An idea popped into my head, and I realized exactly when I could see her again. In an attempt to push out the bundle of nerves that had taken up residence in my stomach, I took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. Although I felt extremely comfortable with Bella, and in some ways I felt like I had known her forever, in other ways I was still just a nervous little shit, afraid to ask a girl on a date. I hadn't been on a date since… Since… A really fucking, long time.

I put the car into park, and turned to look at Bella. Her head was angled down, as if she were looking at her hands, folded neatly in her lap.

"Bella," I started softly, and her head turned in my direction, so I knew I had her attention. "I was wondering… Do you have any plans on Saturday?"

"Hm," she said, tapping her finger against her chin, "I'll have to check my schedule, but I don't _think_ I have anything going on," she answered teasingly. I had to smile at her and roll my eyes at the same time. She was too fucking adorable for her own good.

"Next weekend Gallop Park is hosting The Ann Arbor Blues and Jazz Festival, and I was wondering if you might be interested in going?" I asked tentatively. "I have yet to go, but a few of my buddies in my music class have gone, and says the music and food are incredible."

"I would love to!" she answered, smiling brightly. "That sounds like a lot of fun."

"Excellent!" I exclaimed, my own excitement mirroring hers.

"Bella, could I maybe, have your phone number?" I asked, still for whatever reason, nervous.

"Of course, Edward," she answered, smiling.

She told me her number and I quickly entered it into my phone before hitting 'send' and her ring tone filled the small space of the car, effectively giving her my phone number as well. Since I wasn't sure how else to make sure she had my phone number.

"Would you like me to walk you to the door?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of her face.

"I'd really like that."

I quickly exited the car, going around to the other side and opened her door. I placed my hand in hers, helping her up out of the seat.

Keeping my hand in hers, because now that I'd touched her, I couldn't stop the uncontrollable need to constantly have some part of our skin touching, we turned and walked towards the door. She didn't open her cane, instead she trusted me to guide her. The obvious trust she had to put in me, after only knowing me for such a short period of time, suddenly overwhelmed me.

"I'll call you soon," I told her softly, rubbing the top of her hand with my thumb and studying her face, wishing so badly I could see those deep cinnamon pools she kept hidden beneath her sunglasses. I momentarily thought of removing the glasses from her face, but immediately decided against it. I somehow knew how intrusive that might feel to her. The last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable around me.

"Thank you for the ride home."

"It was my pleasure," I responded, reluctantly letting go of her hand, already yearning to touch her again. "Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward."

With that, she gave me one last smile before opening the door and heading into the house.

With a smile adorning my face, I practically skipped to my car, unable to recall a time when I actually felt this giddy over a girl. I felt somewhat gay, thinking the word _giddy_, but there was no other way to describe it, and it felt fucking great!

~*~*~

Three hours later I was staring at my textbooks and notes, attempting to study but it was fruitless because thoughts of Bella filled my brain. I was beginning to sense a pattern here. Since meeting Bella, I had been highly neglectful of my studies. Thank the lord that after this week, I had three months of freedom before it started all over again. Hopefully by then, I would be able to concentrate on other things besides her gorgeous face.

I was doubtful.

Abruptly, my phone began ringing and I wondered who the hell was calling me right now. Bella's name flashed on the screen, causing an involuntary smile to creep up on my face.

"Hello, beautiful," I crooned into the phone, smiling brightly. It was incredible how just hearing her sweet voice could brighten my mood so exponentially. I had seen her just three hours ago, but I couldn't get enough of her.

"Hi, Edward," she stated so quietly I could barely hear her.

"Bella? What's the matter? You sound upset," I rambled out quickly. Instantly, I began to fear the worst, that she was hurt. I could feel my blood pressure rise as I stood up and began pacing around my bedroom. Something definitely wasn't right. Her voice was quiet, raspy and didn't have the exuberance it had just several hours earlier.

"Nothing, Edward," she said, clearing her throat, before continuing. "Um, listen, I just needed to talk to you really fast."

"Okay..," I stated, hesitantly. "What is it?" My heart was pounding in my chest, nervous for what was wrong with her.

"Um, well, I, uh," she hesitated for a moment, her voice thick and raspy with emotion. I heard her take a deep breath, "I can't go out with you on Saturday."

* * *

**A/N:** *hides behind couch* Please don't throw things at me.

There are 80+ people who have put this little fic of mine on their alerts. It makes me so shocked and I'm just so grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you so much. Thank you to those that consistently review. I love hearing what you have to say! If I haven't heard from you yet, please come out of lurkdome and say hello!! =)

I want to rec a fic – _**Picture Windows by nerac**_. Caren is fricken awesome and spoils me rotten with teasers and letting me pre-read her latest update. This fic is amazing, pulls at the heart-strings and her Edward is so unbelievably adorable you just want to say "Aww" and hug him and kiss him. So If you aren't reading it.. GO READ it NOW! =)


	7. Chapter 7 Overprotected

___**A/N:** Thank you to **littleclarestar** for filling in as beta while _**BellaMadonna**___ deals with RL issues (thinking of you Momma!!). She helped A TON and I am eternally grateful. Thank you to **koDEA** for making time for me and this little fic. A big part of this chapter was her idea – so if you hate it blame her – JUST KIDDING. Hehe. Thank you to **Agoraphobiantic** who I love with all my heart and soul. She pre-read this chapter for me and gives me lots of validation that I don't suck. She's the best ficwife a girl could ask for!  
_

___Oh - and please don't judge me for my choice in song related to this chapter..it fits! hehe =)  
_

**Disclaimer: **It's S. Meyer's world, I'm just living in it.

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Overprotected **

_Say hello to the girl that I am!  
You're gonna have to see through my perspective  
I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am  
And I don't wanna be so damn protected  
There must be another way  
Cause I believe in taking chances  
But who am I to say  
What a girl is to do  
God, I need some answers_

_What am I to do with my life?  
(You will find out don't worry)  
How Am I supposed to know what's right?  
(You just got to do it your way)  
I can't help the way I feel  
But my life has been so overprotected_

Britney Spears – Overprotected

- - - - -

**BPOV**

Thoughts of Edward Cullen invaded every single corner and crevice of my mind, pretty much the entire time since we'd been together. His voice echoed inside my head, and he controlled my dreams as I concocted images of how I thought he'd look.

My sudden obsession with Edward Cullen was startling, and in a lot of ways, down right frightening. I'd never fantasized about a boy so frequently – especially one I hardly knew. I tried to get away from it by immersing myself into my studies, hobbies, and spending more time than usual at the library. I composed more music on my violin – which only made me think of Edward more – and tried relaxing my mind through meditation and yoga. I often found myself meditating or doing yoga when I felt myself becoming overwhelmed from sensory stimuli. Both activities calmed me in a way no other activities could.

My weekend passed in a haze. I worked my usual shifts at the library on Saturday and Sunday mornings, leading story-times for young children, and spent the afternoons studying, and my evenings with Rose and Emmett, hanging out. Basically, it was a very typical weekend for me.

I didn't mind though, the monotony of my weekends. I enjoyed my time working at the library. I loved hearing the excitement in the children's voices over the books. They were always curious about me, and about my disability. I loved how curious and honest children can be. Their innocence and curiosity was what I loved most about children. Parents always got embarrassed and flustered when their children asked blunt questions, but I didn't mind answering their enquiries. The more questions answered the more people were likely to be accepting of diversity and disabilities. I'd found that even parents, who don't have the courage to ask what their children are thinking, becoming more accepting.

One of my fellow librarians, Shelly Cope, had become a close friend, almost like a mother figure, over the last several years. She was in her mid-forties, and had two small children, but we had still formed a close bond. Unlike most people, she'd never shied away from me and my impairment. She was warm and friendly and a great listener. Immediately, Shelly had noticed that I was a bit distant, making a joke about my day dreaming. I evaded her questions, not wanting to get ahead of myself by telling her about Edward. It was a little too soon for that. I wasn't even sure if he was going to show up. Although, aside from Rose, Shelly knew more about me than anyone else so it was very hard to keep this secret from her. I just didn't want to jinx the situation.

I found myself sitting nervously at the park waiting to see if he showed up. My confidence was high that he would, I had a good feeling about Edward, but I couldn't stop the butterflies that were taking flight in my stomach.

Playing with my hair as I sat, I begun to realize that I had been waiting there for quite some time, and wondered how late he was. Although, he wasn't really _late, _as I hadn't actually specified a time for him to meet me here, I never officially asked him to come either. I had more or less just hinted that I was going to be here and would like him to meet me here again. I _thought_ that he had gotten that hint, but perhaps I had been wrong. Or maybe he just didn't want to come. Maybe he was scared. Just like everyone else that I had ever come across in my life.

_Stop it, Bella! Think positively. _

Then I heard it – the soft crunching of his shoes against the grass as he approached, and the light breeze blowing his intoxicating scent in my direction further identifying him.

"I thought you weren't going to come," I stated softly, surprising myself with my straightforwardness.

"I'm sorry. I.. I uh…_fuck_," he stuttered out, and I had to fight back a giggle, and instead, I arched my eyebrow at him. Flustered Edward was definitely adorable. The fact that _I _made him flustered like that sent my heart soaring, and the butterflies in my stomach swirling.

He took a deep breath, "May I sit down?" he asked softly. I nodded, and gestured to the space in front of me on the blanket.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I don't have an excuse, or even a good reason. I'm here now, and there is no where else in the world I'd rather be," he frantically explained.

I thought about his words and tried to decipher whether he was being honest or not. I bit my lower lip as I contemplated his sincerity, a habit I had inadvertently formed, indicating that I was deep in concentration. I prided myself in my ability to listen to whether or not people were being sincere. Usually, when people were lying, or not being sincere, it was easy to tell because their pitch changed, usually becoming more of a soprano. Edward's voice remained smooth and fluid, despite his franticness.

I decided I had to give him a chance. I had no choice - my heart was telling me to.

"Don't let it happen again," I told him, partly teasing and partly serious.

As before, I was amazed by how easily the conversation between us flowed. I was hardly nervous when speaking to him and found genuine joy in hearing about him and his life. I wanted to know anything and everything that he had to offer me. I hoped that someday, he would want to share everything there was to know about him.

I wanted to squeal with joy when he offered to drive me home. He was so sweet, taking my hand and leading me to the car. The moment his fingers linked through mine, I felt a pleasurable sensation shoot up my arm and down my spine, causing me to shiver. His touch soothed me in ways I never thought possible. It was such an innocent and gentle touch, but it left me wanting more. Just the thought of this caused my cheeks to warm from embarrassment. I couldn't be having such thoughts about a boy I didn't even know!

I still used my guiding cane despite the fact he was leading me. It was a habit and a secure base. While a lot of the time I was genuinely naive and tended to trust people intrinsically, this was one thing that I could not trust some one with until they proved to me that they could be trusted. Not having my guiding cane left me vulnerable, something I was almost never comfortable with.

He opened the car door for me and helped me in, asking for my address. The ride in the car was easy, shocking me further that I could be so comfortable with someone I hardly knew.

When he asked me to go on a date with him, I nearly cried. I tried to fight back some of the enthusiasm, not wanting to appear desperate or over eager. However, I didn't know that I was all that successful in hiding it. Not only did the prospect of hanging out again with Edward thrill me, but a jazz festival was exactly the kind of thing I liked doing. Edward already knew me so well and we'd only met a few days ago.

Edward walked me to the door, taking my hand again. Taking a chance, I didn't open my cane. Instead, I clutched it in my hand, ready to open it if necessary. I was nervous, and felt slightly insecure but the feeling of Edward's skin on mine was enough to soothe me.

The way his thumb ran gentle circles over my skin ignited feelings I had never felt before with another person. A sense of security and even lust.

"I'll call you soon," he whispered to me, his voice that smooth as steel sound that I would never get old hearing.

"Thank you for the ride home."

"It was my pleasure," he responded, his voice depicting the smile that was sure to be on his face.

"Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward."

A smile spread over my face, stretching from ear to ear, as I opened the door and then promptly shutting it behind me. I leaned back against the door, my head resting against the cool wood.

I was going on a date! With a boy! I had to fight back the overwhelming need to let out a squeal of joy.

"You look really fucking happy."

I jumped, causing my head to smack back into the door with a resounding 'thud'. I hadn't heard anyone enter the room, or sensed anyone else there when I first entered the house. Obviously, I had been a little distracted.

"Jesus, Rose, you scared me." I placed a hand over my rapidly beating heart in an attempt to calm it down, taking a few deep breaths.

"So what's with the smile that's taking over your entire face?" she asked me, teasingly.

I sighed, dreamily, walking the rest of the way into our family room, finding the couch and plopping down. Rose's feet padded across the carpet bringing her to drop down next to me on the couch causing me to bounce lightly and sending a gust of her sweet sent of oranges and cream in my direction. I let out a loud giggle. I was just so happy that I was down right frickening giddy!

Rose laughed lightly at my behavior as I began to speak. "I just came from the park and I saw Edward again."

I couldn't stop the smile that permeated my face just from vocalizing his name. My cheeks were starting to hurt I was smiling so much.

Rose was silent for a moment, causing the smile to start to fade. "Rose?"

"That's great Bells..," she replied, trailing off.

"Rose!" I groaned. "Don't be like this. It's not that big of a deal. I just have a crush on a boy." I shrugged.

"Huh-huh. Just a crush? I've never seen you like this, Bella!" Rose's light hearted tone was back, causing me to breakout in a wide grin once again. "Bella, you know that I'm happy for you, right? It's just..,"

I held up my hand to stop her. I already knew what she was going to say. I knew she wasn't _really _mad about me seeing Edward. She was only worried about my brother's reaction. But really, how mad could he get? Once he saw how happy I was he was bound to lighten up. After all, I was a great judge of character. He knew that about me.

I let out a loud squeal and Rose laughed again.

"I don't know what it is about him, Rose. He just makes me so happy and content. He asked me out on a date for this Saturday." I stated confidently, but quietly, my voice holding a tone of confidence mirroring my happiness with the unexpected situation

"A date?! What! Where to?" she asked, excitedly. I was excited to hear the enthusiasm in her voice. This is just what I needed: My best friend to discuss this with, to gush about a boy with. We've never really had these kinds of conversations before. I've hardly ever crushed on boys and as she was dating _my brother_so the last thing I wanted was for her to share the dirty details about _them _with me!

"The Ann Arbor Jazz and Blues Festival at Gallop Park."

"Oh, that's perfect! That will be so much fun," Rose responded.

"What will be so much fun?" Emmett's loud voice rang from across the room, the floor shaking with his heavy steps as he walked towards us.

I took a deep breath. _Here goes nothing._

"I got invited to the Ann Arbor Jazz and Blues Festival on Saturday."

"That's great Bells! Sounds incredibly boring to me, but I know you'll love it!" Emmett responded, laughing lightly. Emmett found anything other than heavy rock completely boring. I was never offended when he said things like this; it was just how he was. He'd rather listen to System of a Down or Breaking Benjamin than Mozart or Vivaldi. "Who are you going with?" he asked, a tone of genuine interest in his voice.

"Actually, that's interesting. You know him," I started, trailing off a little at the end and whispering 'him'.

Of course, Emmett was as sharp as a whip, "Him?!" his surprised voice was a little louder than normal, but not all _that _angry.

"Yes, his name is Edward Cullen. He said he's in your fraternity," I finished in a rush and waited for the fall out. I didn't have to wait long.

"Cullen? Edward Fucking Cullen asked you on a date?!" he yelled, the couch skidding backwards violently as he jumped up, stomping his feet on the ground as he began to pace back and forth in front of us. "That little shit, I'm going to fucking kill him." I could hear the sounds of his fist smacking against his other hand.

"Emmett," Rose stated firmly, her voice a warning tone.

"I fucking told him to stay away from her and he fucking deliberately goes behind my back and asked her on a date. He's going to fucking die," Emmett mumbled quickly, his anger so great that his words were almost blending together.

"You did WHAT?!" I yelled, and I hoped the tone of my voice conveyed how livid I was as I caught the part of him telling Edward to stay away from me. What the hell was his problem?

Abruptly, a resounding crack echoed throughout the living room causing me to jump and my heart began racing out of control. What the hell was that? Rosalie gasped, and gripped my hand tightly. She intertwined her fingers with mine in an attempt to comfort and reassure me. Emmett let out a loud groan.

"Emmett! What the _fuck_?" Rosalie screamed, causing me to jump again. "That was completely unnecessary. Don't be such a barbarian. Now we're going to have to get the drywall replaced. What the hell is the matter with you?"

_Get the drywall replaced? _I let out a gasp. _Did Emmett just punch a wall?_

"You're not going out with _him_, Bella. That's fucking final," Emmett yelled, his voice rough, loud and angry, completely ignoring Rosalie's and my words.

My eyes began to prick with tears, and I quickly wiped them away. It was useless as more just overflowed to take their place. I knew he'd be upset about this, but I had no idea he'd be like _this_. Emmett had never raised his voice to me before, not once in my entire life.

"Emmett!" Rose yelled, scolding him. "You're being ridiculous."

"No Rose, Cullen is fucking trouble. She's not going anywhere with him. That's fucking final," he yelled back at her. Emmett had never raised his voice to Rose before either. He knew better then to do that. She started to yell back but he cut her off, turning to me. "You hear me, Bella?"

Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I attempted to push the sob back that was threatening to break loose. Rosalie gripped my hand tighter, rubbing soft circles against the back of my hand with her thumb, the sensation soothing me slightly.

I didn't even know how to respond to him. Was he honestly _forbidding_ me from seeing Edward? It was so utterly ridiculous.

This wasn't supposed to be happening like this. Emmett wasn't supposed to be treating me this way, as if I was a broken child. He was supposed to be my rock, my support, my encourager. I should be gossiping with Rosalie and planning what I am going to wear on my first date with a boy, not sitting here struggling to push back tears and keep calm.

_My first date._

I was twenty-two years old and I had never been on a date with a boy. I wanted to both laugh and cry with that thought. Finally having a chance to just be _normal_ and it was being taken away from me.

"Rose, hand me my cane, please," I told her softly. My voice was shaky, with hurt and disappointment.

She released my hand, quietly bending over and picking up my cane. I heard the soft clicking of it snapping open and then she placed it in my hand, the cool metal providing me with an odd sense of comfort and security.

I grasped it firmly as I stood up and began heading in the direction of my bedroom.

"Bella?" Emmett asked, his voice softening only slightly.

I held my hand up quickly, to silence any further comments he might have. I shook my head minutely, not trusting my voice. I didn't want to breakdown out here. I wanted the privacy and comfort of my own bedroom.

My brother didn't say anything, the only sounds that could be heard throughout the room were his heavy breathing, and my feet brushing against the soft plush carpeting as I walked away.

Once the door was shut closed, I let the tears fall, a flood of emotions raking through me: loss, love, anger, sadness, confusion and longing.

It only took the short time between me walking to my bed and falling on it before a screaming match between Emmett and Rosalie ensued. I didn't bother listening to what they were saying. Their words were not important. The harsh tones flying between them were enough to send me further over the edge.

Emmett and Rosalie were all that I had. The fact that they were fighting about me was killing me inside. As much as it hurt, if he felt this strongly about me not seeing Edward, then I would respect that. Emmett was my world and I couldn't bear to see him upset. I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness for his. After all, there were countless times he had done it for me. I didn't agree at all with his assumptions about Edward, but I would respect his feelings and honor his request.

Therefore, I knew what I had to do.

I picked up my phone, holding it tightly in my hand.

Taking a few deep breaths, I attempted to reign in my emotions before calling Edward. I couldn't let him hear how upset I was, or I knew I'd never be able to do this. I knew he'd talk me out of it.

"Call Edward," I stated into my phone, and waited for the ringing to begin. My heart hammered in my chest as I waited for him to pick up the call. _Please don't pick up. Please don't pick up. _This would be so much easier if I didn't have to hear his smooth, sexy voice.

"Hello, beautiful," he crooned into the phone, the smile that was sure to be placed on his face was evident in his voice. My heart immediately clenched in pain. Bending over, I placed my head in between my legs, attempting to fold in on myself and ease the pain in my chest. _How was I going to be able to do this?_

"Hi, Edward." My voice coming out much quieter and raspier then I intended.

"Bella? What's the matter? You sound upset," Edward stated quickly, concern evident in his voice.

_Oh, well I've just been sobbing my eyes out. Because of you. Because of my brother. Nothing big._

"Nothing, Edward," I cleared my throat, before continuing. "Um, listen, Edward, I just needed to talk to you really quickly."

"Okay…" he stated, hesitantly. "What is it?"

"Um, well, I uh," _C'mon Bella, be strong. This is for the best._ "I can't go out with you Saturday."

"What happened? Why not? Would you like to do something else, another time?" he asked me eagerly, but concern still laced in his voice.

I sucked in a breath, choking back the tears that were soon to fall again.

"I..I..just can't right now. I have to go. Bye, Edward."

"Wait-,"

I clicked the phone shut before he could say one more word. I closed my eyes tightly and fell back onto the bed. Lying on my side, I brought my knees up, hugging them tightly to me. Ignoring the aching feeling in my chest, I let the tears fall, and kept repeating to myself that I was doing the right thing.

But why did the right thing have to hurt so badly?

~*~*~

**EPOV**

I stared at my phone, confused as to what the hell had just happened.

My mind whirled with different emotions; hurt, confusion and worry. I was hurt that Bella was canceling on me, confused as to why and concerned about her. Something definitely wasn't right.

I contemplated calling her straight back, demanding some kind of answer, but something inside me indicated that probably wouldn't be a good idea. She seemed so damn upset.

I frowned.

The idea of Bella being upset, for whatever reason, made me want to get in my car and drive over to her house, to hold her and to make everything better for her. But now, there was nothing that I could do.

I ran my fingers through my hair, yanking hard on the ends, and letting out a frustrated growl.

_Fuck. _

I got up and started pacing back and forth. Well, shit. There was no way I was going to be able to focus now. I needed to burn off some of this frustration, and it was too late to go for a run, so I decided to do the next best thing.

I grabbed my car keys and decided to head over to the fraternity house. Even though it was a Monday, I was positive the guys would be around drinking.

- - - -

Not bothering to knock, I headed straight into the house and sure enough, several of the guys were gathered around playing beer pong.

"Edward, hey man. How's it going?" Jake called out, as I entered the room.

"It's been better. Let's just leave it at that." I stated, not really wanting to get into a lot of details. I just wanted to forget about everything that had been on my mind, which included Bella, and all the shit to do with my father.

He nodded his head in understanding before walking over to the mini-fridge and pulling out a beer for me.

I took it eagerly from Jake, giving him a nod of thanks. I cracked it open, tipped it back and sucked down nearly half the can in one chug. Jake stared at me curiously, obviously realizing something was up, but didn't ask any further questions. This was what I liked the most about my friendship with Jake – he didn't pry. He knew I'd come to him if and when I needed to.

For the next hour or so, I dicked around with the guys drinking beers, watching ESPN, and just joking around. I pounded through five beers during this time period and had started to get a pretty good buzz going.

Not surprisingly, the booze did not help clear my mind from thoughts of Bella. I wondered what she was doing right now, if she was okay, and briefly thought about stepping outside to call her.

Just as I was about to pull my cell phone out of my pocket and head toward a quieter area, I heard a angry yell and jerked my head up to see Emmett running towards me with his arm cocked backwards and before I even had time to blink, a sharp pain filled my skull and my head jerked backwards. The pain was unlike anything I'd ever felt in my entire life, causing me to stumble back. Instinctively, my hands flew up to my face, causing me to drop my beer onto the floor, the contents showering over my feet and ankles.

I bent over at the waist, clutching my head and screaming out. The pain shooting through my skull was disorienting. It felt like someone just struck me in the forehead with a two by four. I was briefly aware of a commotion going on around me, people yelling and standing at all sides of me. I felt one person standing in front of me and another one pulling at my arm, I think in an attempt to bring me back to my feet. I let out a loud groan as I finally managed to stand up straight

I attempted to open my eyes, but one was unable to open and quickly began panicking. It felt as though my eyeball had tripled in size in just a matter of a few seconds.

"What the _fuck_?!" I cried out, immediately regretting it, due to the fact my skull felt that it had just been cracked in half.

"You fucking piece of shit! I told you to fucking stay away from her! You deliberately went behind my back and you fucking disrespected me!"

Then the fog began to clear and I realized what the fuck had just happened.

Emmett had punched me in the motherfucking head.

Motherfucker!

Without thinking, I launched myself at Emmett and it was as if everything was going in slow motion.

Only seeing red, I swung my arm back as I approached him, my fist connecting with his iron stomach causing him thankfully to stumble backwards. I yelled out in pain as my hand crunched against him, but I didn't fucking care. I was too fucking pissed. It was his turn to bend over at the waist, clutching his stomach where I had hit him. He stood up just as quickly as he had bent over and glared at me, his face beat red. I could faintly see a vein in his neck pulsating.

He stalked towards me again, but before he could take another swing at me, two of our fraternity brothers grabbed him, holding him back. I felt someone grab hold of my arms and pull me backwards.

"Edward, what the fuck man? Calm down."

It was Jake who had grabbed me, so I settled a little bit. However, I was still seething.

"What the fuck, Emmett?!" I yelled, and I clutched my swollen eye. It hurt like a mother fucking bitch.

Emmett continued to glare at me with a look of disgust.

Demetri ran towards me, holding a bag of frozen vegetables that I quickly placed over the swelling eye. The ice cold package stung against my skin at first, but that quickly gave way to a soothing sensation.

"Does someone want to explain to me what the fuck is going on?" Demetri asked, his tone sharp. "Or do I have to suspend you both from the fraternity?" He looked back and forth between Emmett and I, his eyebrows raised high up into his hair line.

Emmett grunted and shook off the two brothers who were holding him back. He mumbled something to them about being under control and they reluctantly released him.

"This motherfucker here deliberately went behind my back and did something I specifically told him not to do," Emmett growled, glaring at me.

"Oh. get over yourself, Emmett. I didn't _deliberately _do anything. It just happened!" I defended. "What the hell is your problem with me?! What the fuck did I ever do to you?"

And before he could answer the pieces just fell into place.

Anger bubbled up inside me as I realized exactly what happened tonight, and why Bella canceled our date. "You told Bella she couldn't see me, didn't you? That's why she fucking called to cancel our date," I accused.

Emmett looked at me confused for a second then smiled smugly. "Damn right, I did. It's what's best for her."

I laughed bitterly. "What's best for her? You're not doing what's best for her! You're sheltering her. Stop being so fucking overprotective! You can't even tell me what the fuck I ever did to warrant this kind of treatment. You hardly even know me and just make up these wild accusations in your head about what kind of person I am. How about you actually get to know me before you start making accusations," I seethed.

He glared at me, his jaw clenched tight. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

He glared at me one last time before turning around and walking out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

~*~*~

**BPOV**

I must have fallen asleep because I was jolted awake by a loud bang, followed by yelling. My heart hammered in my chest, and I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.

"Emmett!? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!"

Rosalie's voice ripped through the silence of my room with an angry fervor. My heart started beating erratically again, frightened by her outrage and curious to know what it was that Emmett had done.

Cautiously, I made my way out of my room and into living room where the overheated voices were coming from.

"Rose, I just couldn't control myself. I've never been so fucking _angry_ in my entire life! I had to just fucking _punch_ someone!" Emmett growled out.

"So you _fucking punched _Edward in the face?!" Rosalie shrieked.

I gasped and my hand flew to my mouth, causing my cane to drop to the floor.

"You did _what_?!" I half whispered and half shrieked, in disbelief. Rosalie had to be mistaken. Emmett wouldn't hit anyone. He was my big teddy bear.

"Bella-,"

"Emmett, you didn't really hit Edward, did you?" I asked, cutting him off, my voice firm and confident as I ran my hand along the wall of the hallway as I made my way into the living room. "Tell me, Emmett, that you didn't actually do that."

"Bella, I uh..,"

"Oh, my God! Emmett! What the hell?! Why?!" I screamed, a new fresh round of tears welling up.

He sighed. "Bella, I was just so mad. I told him not to do something and he deliberately went behind my back and did it anyway. I went to the fraternity house and he was there and it just happened. I was.., No, am, so angry,"

"Emmett, this is ridiculous, and has gotten way too out of control! You've actually _hurt_ another person! Over what? Trying to protect me? And from what? Emmett, do you honestly even _know_ Edward to make the kind of judgments you're making?" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air out of frustration. "I cancelled my date with Edward, because you were so angry. So your barbaric behavior was unwarranted."

I was having a hard time believing that he actually physically hurt another person, and the fact that it was Edward made me almost physically ill. Edward was hurt because of _me_. He would not be in pain if it wasn't for me. Concern for Edward began to consume me, my heart ached and my stomach clenched. God, how badly was her hurt? I wanted to call him to hear his voice and know he was okay, but I couldn't do that. I'm sure he didn't want to speak to me ever again. First, I had cancelled on our date, now my brother had physically assaulted him!

"I know," he whispered, I could almost hear a small hint of regret in his voice. "Bella, you know all I've ever wanted to do is protect you. I love you. You don't have the most experience in the world with guys and I just worry."

I understood his concerns, and I loved him for it. But in a lot of ways, this was the last straw. I couldn't continue on like this and he couldn't keep holding me back. It wasn't fair to me.

"Emmett, I love you and I know you mean well, but how am I ever supposed to get any experience in anything if you treat me like a child? I understand your concern and I appreciate your protectiveness," I said, my voice softening, "but at a certain point, Emmett, you have to let me _live_. I'm not an imbecile. I'm fully functional. I'm blind, Emmett. I'm not severely cognitively impaired. Quite frankly, you treat me as if I am. I can't live with you and Rose for the rest of my life. You have to let me build a life of my own. You have to _trust_ me."

"I do trust you, Bella. It's other people that I don't trust. It's so easy for people to take advantage of you, it scares me," he whispered, his voice sad but yet full of love for me.

"I know, Emmett. But you have to trust my judgment," I reasoned. I'd always been a good judge of character. It was like _my_ fifth sense.

The room was quiet for several moments as Emmett, and even Rosalie, took in my words. Their breathing was steady and my heart began to calm.

The floor creaked as Emmett began walking towards me. "I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered as he approached, taking my hands in his and pulling me into a gentle hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist, holding him tight. "I love you."

"I love you too, Emmett," I stated gently, rubbing my hands up and down his back.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again.

I nodded. "I know. But I don't think it's me that you need to apologize to. I think there is someone else who needs your apology much more then I do."

He pulled away from me groaning, "Bella, I'm..,"

"Emmett, I'm not asking you to apologize today, or even tomorrow. But I think it's necessary. He's your fraternity _brother_. You owe him that much. If you step back and think about it, you'll see that you've been way over reactive about this whole thing. Edward did nothing wrong."

He let out a sigh.

"Just promise me you'll think about it," I urged, hoping he'd listen.

"Ok, I'll think about it, but I'm not making any promises."

* * *

**_A/N:_**_ Soooo.. thoughts? =) _

_Thank you to everyone who has put this on alerts/faves! I've had a ton of people add this little fic recently and it's made my heart just fill with love for all of you! Thank you to everyone who takes the time out to review and say HI. It's much appreciated! This time I think I'll be able to send out teasers in my review reply, as I have much of Chapter 8 already written. So if you'd like a little preview, give me some love! I also have posted teasers on The Fictionators in the past, so you can check there on Monday's to see if I've posted one. If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know. =) _

_LASTLY, Agoraphobiantic, LittleClareStar and myself wrote a little silly o/s for a friend of ours. **The Tablecloth** - it's posted on my page. Check it out if you want a good laugh and havent yet!  
_


	8. Chapter 8 Answers

**A/N: **_**I have a lot to say here and at the end, so please read!**_

Big HUGE thanks to **LittleClareStar **(Thanks Mr. LCS too for his help..haha) who lets me bother her for hours on gchat by sending her snippets of these chapters begging for validation that it doesn't suck. She is an awesome writer, beta and friend.

Thank you to my lovely FF Momma, **BellaMadonna**, for being an awesome beta – this fic would truly not be the same without her and I am eternally grateful for all she does!!

I just started posting Angel Eyes on Twilighted last week, so thank you to my Twilighted beta/validator **Juliamine** (she's awesome and writes It Was Only His Baby – which you all should be reading).

You guys, I'm seriously completely overwhelmed and amazed by the amount of people that have alerted/faved this fic in the recent weeks. **150** of you have added this to your alerts!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I am so so SO very grateful for all of you who add and review. It means the world to me. I'm so excited that I've gotten such a positive response about this story. It's my baby!

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the characters, but I own the plot. **

**

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Something's missing in me  
Something's missing in me

Down here love wasn't meant to be  
It wasn't meant to be for me  
All is vanity underneath the sun  
All is vanity  
Oh, something's missing in me  
I felt it deep within me

- Flyleaf - _Missing_

**Chapter 8 - Answers **

**BPOV**

I sat in my room with my iPod buds in both ears, drowning out the world, wondering what it is that I ever did to make the universe despise me so much. I was a good person. At least, I'd always thought that I was. I was involved in the community, paid my taxes, was environmentally conscious, I even ate my vegetables, but none of that seemed to matter. The _universe_ just kept sending me a message, kept telling me "Hey, Bella Swan, why are you even bothering? You aren't supposed to be happy."

I honestly wasn't one to wallow in my own self-pity, but right at this moment I just didn't care. I was always putting on a happy face and now I just really didn't feel like smiling. Slowly but surely, I'd been learning that the world was an evil and unfair place. After all that had happened in my life, wasn't it my turn to find some happiness?

Apparently it wasn't.

Shaking my head, I tried to clear the negative thoughts from my mind, but it just wasn't working. I had been trying for two days. Time passed slowly, and I spent most of it in my room, alone.

_Alone_. Like I was destined to be for the rest of my life.

I couldn't help but wallow in my cynical mood. I could tell it was wearing Rosalie down. I barely said two words to her, which really wasn't fair because none of this was her fault. I knew she was worried about me because I just wasn't acting like myself, but her constant hovering was annoying me. I couldn't stand her asking me if I was okay every half hour and telling me constantly that everything was going to turn out alright.

Everything was not going to be okay or turn out alright because the _universe hated me_.

I groaned internally at myself. I knew that I was overreacting with my own little pity-party and that the universe didn't _really_ hate me. I knew that I actually had a really wonderful life, but at the moment it just didn't feel that way. Suddenly, I just felt defeated.

Two weeks ago, I had been perfectly content with my life. I was happy with my relationships with my brother and Rosalie. I adored my friendship with Shelly. I had always believed that it wasn't about the quantity, but the quality of relationships.

Then, my universe was turned on its head when I met Edward Cullen and it was like a door to a whole new world of possibilities had opened up to me. I realized that there was something in life that I'd been missing. I'd always longed for that feeling of being loved, as a man loves a woman, but it was usually always something that I pushed down inside me and never let surface. After meeting Edward, I suddenly felt more alive, as if just meeting him he had awakened a part of me that had lain dormant: A part of me that was just waiting for a ray of light to blossom, and Edward was the sun.

But then, of course, because the _universe _did not want me to be happy, two days ago that door was slammed shut and that small, newly budding part of me died again.

I told Emmett that I understood why he'd done what he did, but that didn't mean that I wasn't still angry about his behavior and about the way he'd been treating me my entire life. I hadn't spoken to him more then was absolutely necessary since Monday. Until he was ready to apologize to Edward, I didn't have anything to say to him.

I was worried about Edward. I hadn't heard from him, not that I was expecting to. I mean why would he want to speak to me? I canceled a date with him just hours before my brother physically assaulted him.

But I couldn't stop myself from thinking about him and wondering how he was doing. I had no idea how badly he had been hurt, because Emmett had refused to go into any kind of detail at all about their fight. But I wasn't naive; Emmett was huge and I knew if he wanted to, he could inflict some serious damage on the human body. I managed to get out of him that Edward had hit him back, which made me smile. Emmett had deserved that.

A loud knock resounded throughout the room, breaking through my self-deprecating thoughts. I pulled the ear buds out of my ears and called out, "Yes?"

"Bells, it's Rose. Are you ready for me to drive you to work?"

I let out a long sigh. I forgot about having to go into work today. Ordinarily, I would have been waiting impatiently for Rosalie to drive me, anxious to spend time with the children and with the other librarians. However, today I wasn't really in the mood for it.

Rosalie drove me to work in silence. I thanked her politely as I got out of the car and told her I would see her when she came to pick me up in a few hours. I could tell she was really trying not to ask me if I was okay. The leather of the steering wheel groaned underneath her tight grip and she kept shifting in her seat. Several times I could hear her open her mouth and shut it again, clearly struggling with what, if anything, to say to me. It really was breaking my heart that I was treating my best friend, my sister, this way. I just couldn't seem to pull myself from this funk.

I always started my shifts out with story time for three to five year old children. This always caused me great joy as I enjoyed this age group and I loved being animated as I told them stories. It always gave me pleasure to hear the children giggle and gasp with my performances. However, today I simply pulled out my brail books and told the children the stories with lackluster enthusiasm.

I was picking up my books after all the children had left, when I heard someone approach me from the side.

"Bella?"

"Hi, Shelly," I stated, immediately recognizing the voice of my friend and fellow librarian.

"Are you okay sweetie?" she asked softly, concern apparent in her voice.

"Yes, I'm fine," I attempted to reply confidently, but my voice betrayed me by shaking and coming out much quieter then I anticipated.

"Bella, I don't want to pry, but you have me a little concerned. Rosalie too."

"Did Rose call you?" I asked, my voice rising slightly in a little rush of annoyance. I shouldn't be so surprised, and maybe I wasn't, but I was kind of irritated.

"She's just concerned about you, honey. You haven't been your usual happy and confident self the last few days. She didn't give me any explanation and I didn't ask for one. I figure if you want to talk to me, you will." Shelly's quiet concern and gracious offer overwhelmed me. I fell into the nearest chair, throwing my head into my hands as a quiet sob raked through my body. I knew I shouldn't be doing this here, breaking down in the middle of the children's room, but I just couldn't stop myself. I felt Shelly rush over to me and sit down in the chair next to me. She didn't say anything as she placed her hand on my back and began rubbing soothing circles.

Slowly, I explained everything to her. I told her about meeting Edward and my instant attraction to the sound of his voice and his sweet scent. I explained how I'd never felt so happy and content than when I was in his presence and how easily conversation flowed between us. Being around Edward was easy. I shared with her some of my feelings of loneliness, and how it had seemed that maybe Edward and I had been destined to meet so he could fill that empty space that had been living inside me. I told her about how he had asked me to accompany him to the jazz festival and how positively elated I had felt when he invited me. I didn't leave out any of the gory details of Emmett's reaction, how I had cancelled the date, and then told her all I knew about his fight with Edward. Then I quietly explained that despite what _I_ wanted or needed, I wanted to make Emmett and Rosalie happy.

"Bella, what about you? What about your happiness and what _you_ want?" Shelly asked me, her voice soft and motherly, after she digested my recounting of the events of the last two weeks. I bit my lower lip, thinking for a moment.

"I want Emmett and Rose to be happy..,"

"I know you do sweetie, but what about _you_? What about making _you_ happy?"

I bit my lip in concentration as I thought about her question. It shouldn't be a difficult question to answer, should it? I always had thought that I was happy, but then Edward Cullen came into my life and in one afternoon had succeeded in turning my entire world upside down. My brother took his overprotectiveness to a whole knew level, and caused me to question the things I thought I wanted in my life. I thought I knew what I wanted, but my fear of the unknown was making me doubt myself.

The more I thought about it, the more I started to realize that it wasn't just Emmett that caused me to cancel my date with Edward. It was me, too. I was afraid. Sure, I had been elated when he asked me, but quickly I realized that the excitement had turned itself into fear. So when Emmett overreacted and told me that I couldn't go out with Edward, I took the easy way out. I let the fear of the unknown control me and blamed it all on Emmett. In reality, I knew that I could have stood up to Emmett and changed his mind about Edward, but I didn't. I told myself that I had to do it for Emmett, but really _I_ was the one holding myself back. Not Emmett.

"I think that you know what you want, Bella," Shelly's voice was still soft as it broke through my thoughts. "Just remember that you need to do what is going to make you happy. It's okay to think about yourself sometimes and put your needs first. Emmett will always love you, no matter what. Remember to trust yourself. You have excellent instincts when it comes to others. Trust your heart."

Somehow, Shelly always knew exactly what I needed. After getting it all out, I actually felt much better. It was freeing, being able to explain all of my thoughts and feelings to someone that was a neutral party. I realized I didn't feel comfortable telling Rosalie all of my thoughts and feelings because she was too close to my brother and me. She wasn't neutral but Shelly was. I took a deep breath, and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Thank you, Shelly. I feel so much better," I told her, smiling the first genuine smile I had smiled in days, "I think I know what I need to do."

**EPOV **

_Son of a bitch. _

My eye looked pretty fucked up. I prayed to the Gods above that this shit would go away by Sunday, because I really didn't want to deal with the wrath of my father and his interrogation as to why my face was all fucked up.

I leaned in closer to the mirror, inspecting the damage. Most of the swelling had gone down, my lid was no longer puffy and I could, somewhat comfortably, open and close my eye again. The really fucked up part was the huge blackish purple mark that surrounded my eye, extending down to my cheekbone. I reached up and pressed the pad of my index finger gingerly against the purplish skin, wincing at the contact.

Fuck.

Honestly, I had never even been in a fight before, a fact that I would never admit to anyone because I didn't want to look like a fucking twerp. I just never put myself in that kind of situation. I was a lover, not a fighter.

My thoughts hadn't strayed far from Bella during the past few days. I knew it wasn't her fault that her brother punched me in the fucking face, and even though I was still angry as hell at Emmett and the situation, never once had my anger been directed to her. I felt nothing but concern and worry for Bella. I couldn't get her voice out of my head, her manner on the phone was so distraught and defeated. It broke my heart. I wondered how she was doing. Did she know about what happened? Did she care? Was Emmett really the reason she canceled our date, or was it me? A hundred questions raced through my head. I struggled internally with myself over the last two days about whether or not I should call her.

A knocked sounded from my front door, ripping me from my thoughts. I pulled myself away from the bathroom mirror, and the reflection of my black and blue face, and headed out towards the living room. "Yeah, yeah I'm coming!" I called out as whoever was behind the door knocked again.

I reached for the knob and throwing the door open, my one good eye widening when it fell on my visitor.

"What the fuck do you want?" My voice sounded angry in my ears.

"I didn't come here to fight." Came the quiet answer.

I glared at Emmett. He was the last fucking person I wanted to see. "You've got some nerve coming here. I should fucking call the cops on your ass right now."

He shook his head, groaning. "Can I come in? I'd really like to talk to you. About Bella." He raked a hand through his short black hair and I noticed his knuckles were all torn up and scabbed over. I smiled smugly. I may have gotten punched in the face, but at least he got his too.

I nodded my head and opened the door further, gesturing for him to come in. He walked through the door, past me, and into the living room.

"Nice place ya got here," Emmett mumbled as he looked around, standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. It was obvious he was nervous about being here.

"Thanks," I grumbled as I took a seat on the couch. I leaned my head back and peeked at Emmett out of my good eye and noticed he was still standing in the middle of the room, shifting his wait from one foot to the other.

"Take a fucking seat, Emmett," I snapped, gesturing my arm towards the other couch.

Without saying a word, Emmett sat down in the chair opposite the couch, and looked around the room. He laid his palms flat on top of his thighs and his fingers drumming nervously against his leg. Why was he nervous? He was looking down at his hands. He took a deep breath and looked up at me before finally speaking. "Look, I don't really know what to say or how to go about doing this. I'm not used to this kind of thing. No one has ever wanted to take out my baby sister before, at least no one she was interested in or anybody I didn't want to kill."

I snorted. "Didn't want to kill? Sure about that? Pretty sure you were trying to kill me a few days ago."

He rolled his eyes. But didn't make any attempt to speak again.

The air began to thicken with an uncomfortable silence. Emmett stared at the floor, drumming his fingers against his legs. I didn't make any attempts to break the silence first, and I wasn't planning on it. He owed me a big fucking apology.

"Edward, I-,"

"Why did you tell Bella not to go out with me?" The words left my lips before I even realized I was asking them, cutting him off. I was just still so fucking angry that he would do that. I mean what the hell?

He leaned back against the couch, groaning and grumbling something under his breath I couldn't quite make out.

"Bella trusts you. She says she has a 'feeling' about you, says she can feel it in her heart." He was still muttering a little and it was hard to make out what he was saying. "Bells has always had good instincts about people – I know I should trust her judgment. She always "sees" the good in people. But this situation is so different." He pushed to his feet, raking his hand through his hair as he turned around once then looked at me. "Honestly Edward, this is the first time she's ever shown this much interest in someone. This is the first time a guy has ever wanted to take her out on a date. That scares me," he stated his eyes moving to meet mine, imploring me to understand where he was coming from as he flopped back down on the sofa in a defeated manner.

I nodded, my lips pinched together in a thin line, still not speaking.

"You see, it's not that it's _you,_ per say, that is the problem. I think that I would honestly be this way no matter who had asked her out. I've made up excuses and blown your past way out of proportion. I used what I thought were horrible things about you to my advantage to convince myself that you weren't good enough for her. I realize now that it was very selfish and stupid of me. I hurt two people in the process, one of which I love more then my own life. I need you to see _why_ I am this way with her." He paused for a moment, as he seemed to come to some kind of conclusion in his own mind. I didn't interrupt him.

He continued, "Edward, I know that you're a good guy. I came here because I know that I fucked up and I need to make it right."

"Okay..," I said hesitantly as I nodded. Now he had piqued my curiosity so I figured I should at least hear him out. After all, he had apologized.

"Has Bella ever told you anything about our parents?" he asked me, raising his eyebrows curiously.

I shook my head no. "Only that you and she have different fathers."

He nodded his head. "Yes, that is correct. Our mom, Renee, was young and naive when she got pregnant with me. She was in the middle of her senior year of high school and convinced my biological father was the 'love of her life'," he explained, rolling his eyes slightly.

"My biological father had sworn that he would stand by her, that he would marry her one day. But the moment I was born that chicken shit took off, and my mother never heard from him again. McCarty is my mother's maiden name. Renee and I lived with her parents while she attended community college. Two months into school, she met Bella's biological father, Charlie, – the man I've always referred to as my father as well. My bio-dad was nothing more then a sperm donor, fucking idiot," he continued, his tone oozing with disgust.

"Renee and Charlie got married, much to my grandparent's dismay, after dating for only a year. Not long after being married and settling into a new place, my mother got pregnant with Bella. In a four year time period my mother had two babies, got married and graduated college. That's kinda just how Renee was though, spontaneous and knew what she wanted out of life." Emmett looked off to the side, his expression wistful at the memory of his mother.

It didn't escape me that he was referring to his parents in the past tense. This made me even more curious.

"Mom was always spontaneous and it drove Nana and Pop-Pop crazy. But it was her wild spirit. In a lot of ways, Bella reminds me of our mother. Her constant positive attitude, willingness to try anything, quiet confidence and her faith in others reminds me so much of my mom."

Emmett made eye contact with me now, a variety of emotions flickering in his eyes. I nodded at him, just letting him know I was listening and absorbing all that he had to say.

"Has Bella told you yet how she lost her sight?" Emmett asked me quietly, his gaze dropping down to his hands.

"No she didn't and I didn't want to pry. I just assumed she'd been that way since birth. She seems so well adapted – like it doesn't even bother her."

Emmett looked up at me then, his eyes red around the edges and flooded with emotion.

"Bella is the strongest woman I know. She has become accustomed to the life she was dealt and it generally doesn't bother her because she doesn't want to spend her life wallowing in something she can't change."

I silently agreed with him. Bella really was extraordinary. The more I learned about her, the more she amazed me.

Emmett was still for several minutes, appearing lost in his own thoughts. I sat quietly, not wanting to pry him for more information. He seemed to be in a mood to talk and I figured if I gave him time, he would tell me everything he wanted me to know. It seemed like at the moment he needed some time to sort through the obvious war of emotions being waged inside him.

"I was just seven years old, so my memory is a little bit hazy – but there are some things you just can't forget. One of those things is the sight of your four-year-old baby sister lying in a hospital bed, covered in layers and layers of bandages and one of her legs strung up in a sling because it was broken in three different places."

My mouth went slack, and Emmett finally looked at me, his eyes rimmed with tears. It was quite the sight to be hold – a 200lb man, with tears burning in his eyes. I'd never actually seen a man of his size cry before. However, I couldn't help the emotion that was building in my chest and climbing its way up my throat. I started to see where this story was headed.

"My parents and Bella were leaving my grandparents house on Thanksgiving and I was staying the night there. Their car was struck by a semi-truck. The driver had been driving for nearly two days straight without stopping. He fell asleep at the wheel and barreled through a red light, crashing into my parent's small car. The semi-truck t-boned their car, sending them flying into the woods that lined the road. Basically, making them bounce amongst the trees like a game of pin-ball."

Tears were now streaming down Emmett's face and my own cheeks were wet from the tears brimming over the edge of my eyes. I don't even know when the last time I cried, but this was hitting me like a kick in the stomach. Never in my life had I expected anything this traumatic to have happened to my beautiful Angel Girl. The pain from listening to this story was ten times more painful the having Emmett punch me in the face.

"My mother died instantly, the moment the semi made contact with the vehicle. It struck them on her side and luckily Bella was positioned behind my dad, so the initial impact didn't affect her. Dad died after he reached the hospital. Nana told me when I was older, that the nurses and doctors were amazed that Bella had survived." Emmett paused for a moment, taking in a shaky breath. It was obvious he was trying to hold in his emotions.

"Bella was in a coma for a few days, she got knocked out during the crash suffering a contusion to the head, a fractured rib, and a broken leg. When she woke up from her coma, they discovered that she had also somehow lost her sight. She was screaming and crying that she couldn't see, sobbing for Mom. Initially, they thought it might have been a temporary blindness caused by the traumatic experience that she endured, but after nearly two months in the hospital, there were no signs of her sight returning. The hospital staff sent her home with my grandparents. Luckily, my grandparents were fairly young so they took us in – not that it was ever really a choice. They would never have abandoned us to foster care."

We were silent for several minutes, the weight of the conversation settling between us. I don't know what I expected when I had first saw Emmett at my door, but I knew for certain I had never expected our conversation to go in this direction.

"So now you can see why I'm so protective of her. It's not just because she is blind, although that is a big part of it because it would be easy for her to be taken advantage of because of her disability. Mainly it's because she's the only blood relative I have left. Pop-Pop died six years ago from a heart-attack and Nana passed away three years ago from breast cancer."

My jaw was slack, and I just stared at Emmett in disbelief. I couldn't even fathom the amount of loss these two have suffered. Only one person in my family has died in my lifetime and it was my Great Uncle Sal, who I had only met three or four times. Emmett and Bella lost the four most important people in their lives. How were they even functioning? How was Bella even able to cope? Not only had she suffered the loss of four family members, but she also lost her sight!

I was in complete awe of this woman and her immense strength and courage.

"I.. I..don't even know what to say..," I stuttered out, totally flabbergasted at the information he had shared with me during the last hour.

He shook his head. "I don't expect you to say much right now. I know I've loaded you down with a pretty intense story. I hadn't planned on telling you this much, and Bella doesn't know that I'm here right now, let alone telling you our life story, but I felt it was necessary. We needed to clear the air. I needed to let you know where I was coming from and why I've been such a dick." Emmett looked at me with complete sincerity. "I don't expect you to forgive me for hitting you, because it was entirely uncalled for, but maybe now you can understand a little bit more about my relationship with Bella." "I do.. I mean.. I understand why you did it. I'm not gonna lie, I'm still pretty fucking pissed. But I have a sister too. I can't say I wouldn't have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed."

Emmett took in a deep breath, then pushed the air back out before running his fingers through his hair. "I'm willing to back off a little bit. You don't know how hard this is for me, but the last few days… they just… they just haven't been good. I have to trust Bella."

Running my hands through my hair, I pulled my eyes away from Emmett and frowned. "I don't know if she'll still want to go out with me."

"Oh, she does," Emmett stated quickly with absolutely no hesitation. "Trust me. Just call her. There's still time for you to make that Jazz Festival she was telling me about."

Emmett gave me a small, but still encouraging smile.

"Thanks man. Ya know, I really appreciate this. You coming here today and explaining all this to me. And in return, I'll make you a promise. If Bella lets me take her out, I promise I'll take good care of her."

"I know you will, man," Emmett said, nodding his head and his lips curving up into a small smile. "Because if you don't, I'll fuck up your other eye."

~*~*~

Two hours after Emmett left, I was still sitting in my living room, staring at my phone. I just needed to call her. Even if Emmett wasn't the only reason why she canceled on me last time, I had to at least fight for it. I should have called her days ago, insisted that she see me so we could talk. But, I think it actually turned out much better this way. Emmett and I worked things out and now we had his blessing. I think knowing that would make Bella feel much more at ease about us. I just prayed that she'd give us a shot.

_Us? _

I didn't know exactly what _us_ meant, but what I did know was that I wanted to find out. She was the most amazing girl I'd ever met, and maybe I didn't deserve her, but I was selfish enough to still want to make her mine.

_Mine._

The idea of Bella being _mine_ made me smile so wide my face hurt.

Okay, Cullen. Just do it. Pick up the phone and call her. The worst that can happen is that she says no. My heartbeat faltered a bit at the possibility of her saying no again.

_C'mon Cullen, man up and stop being a pussy. Just call the girl._

My thumb hovered over the send button, her name highlighted in my address book. Finally, I just simply pushed down on the button.

"Hello?" a female voice came on the phone after a few rings.

"Um, Bella?" I asked tentatively. I rolled my eyes at my self. Could I be any more of a douche?

"No, this is Rosalie. Who is this?"

"Um, this is Edward. Edward Cullen."

"Oh hey Edward, let me get her." Rosalie responded, cheerfully. Was this some kind of twilight zone? Rosalie was happily handing Bella the phone when it was me on the other end? I heard Rosalie's voice in the background as she called for Bella, telling her that she had answered her cell phone and someone was on the line for her. The phone rustled for a minute and there were some whispers before the most beautiful sound I had ever heard moved through my ears and settled into my soul.

"Hello?" Bella's soft voice floated through the phone and warmed me all over, causing me to again smile widely.

"Hi, Bella. It's Edward," I responded, my voice soft. A small gasp came through the other end, signaling that she most likely had not expected me to call. "How are you?"

"Hello, Edward," she responded, her voice shy and tentative. She hadn't been shy with me before and the fact that she was now gave me a touch of anxiety. "I'm doing ok."

A heavy silence fell between us for several moments, causing my anxiety to grow to near panic. Did she even want to talk to me? Damn it. When did I become so insecure?

"I just wanted to see how you were. The last time we talked you sounded…,"

"I know," she interrupted, letting out a shaky breath. Was she annoyed with me? Should I have called? "Edward, I... I'm sorry."

"Bella, you have nothing to apologize for," I insisted.

"But I do! Emmett… he.... _hit_ you..," Bella's voice was sad and remorseful.

"Bella, that wasn't your fault,"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch," I answered, laughing lightly, "but I'm okay. I swear."

"I was so worried," Bella admitted, her voice tiny. I couldn't help the way my heart swelled at the sound of her concern.

I took a deep breath and continued. "Emmett came by to see me today."

"He did?" she asked, sounding slightly shocked. "Are you ok?" her voice was raised slightly in concern. "He didn't hit you again did he?" I could hear her getting worked up with worry.

I laughed lightly at her assumption that he had hit me again as I rushed to reassure her. "Quite the opposite actually."

"What do you mean?" I could hear bewilderment in her voice.

"I'd like to tell you…. but in person. Maybe over dinner? Or maybe at that Jazz festival on Friday? Do you think you might reconsider and go with me?"

The line fell silent once again, and my fingers instantly flew through my hair, pulling at the ends. I held my breath as I waited for what felt like hours, even though I knew it was merely seconds, until she finally spoke.

"Yes, Edward. I would like that very much."

* * *

A/N: Thoughts? Please send me a review and let me know what you all think! Next up.. their date! Wooot wooot! I'm excited to write it and it's actually already in the works! =)

I don't know if you all heard about _The Fandom Gives Back_ fundraiser that went on over the last few weeks (just ended on 11/20) but the Twilight Fandom together raised over $82K for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation!!!! It's just incredible. I purchased a banner made by the fantastic AngstGoddess003 for Angel Eyes (I'll let you know when it's made) for the fundraiser and also my dear friend **silver sniper of night** (who writes _Eye Contact_ – and if you aren't reading it.. what the hell are you waiting for? GO!) bought **LittleClareStar** (who writes _On My Own_ – GO READ) and **InstantKarmaGirl** (Who writes _Just Wait_ and is a fucking incredible author.. so GO READ JW!!). We're excited for our one-shots and I'll let you know when they're posted!

LASTLY: **DID YOU ALL SEE NEW MOON?!?!** Holy hell, The Pretty has killed me dead! Fucking amazing! I'm going again this weekend, fo sho!

Happy Turkey Day! Gobble Gobble! =)


	9. Chapter 9 Learning to Breathe

**A/N**: Thank you to the usual suspects: _BellaMadonna_ and _LittleClareStar_ for their superb beta skills and _Juliamine_ for her Twilighted validation.

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read, review and pimp this little diddy out. Thank you to my lil' sis Silver Sniper of Night and my girlies over on Twitter for all of their support!

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward an adorable frat guy, Emmett a wee bit over-protective and Carlisle a bit of an asshole.

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Learning to Breathe**

**BPOV**

Biting my lower lip, I tapped my fingers against the arm of the couch, the soft fibers providing little comfort in my anxious state. Today was Saturday and tonight was my date with Edward.

To say that I was nervous would be a complete understatement. My depression and anger from the beginning of the week had faded and morphed into anxiety and excitement.

_My first date!_ I tried not to laugh at how utterly comedic that was. Twenty-two years old and finally going on my first date; better late than never, I supposed.

Edward and I had spoken on the phone each of the last two nights, chatting about nothing and everything all at the same time. The sound of his voice provided me with comfort and I had fallen asleep to the sound of his voice floating around in my head. My sleep had never been as peaceful as it had been since our late night conversations had started.

Things between Emmett and I had gotten back to normal, relatively. I didn't know the details of Emmett and Edward's conversation, but just the fact that he was man enough to go over there and apologize was good enough for me. Emmett explained that he was willing to trust me and back off from my personal life for a while. He wasn't necessarily happy about it, but we were taking baby steps. That's really all I could ask for at this point and we had reached a tentative understanding.

Emmett, thankfully, wasn't going to be home until after Edward had already picked me up and we were on our way to the festival. I found that comforting, and I'm sure Edward would too. Regardless of what they talked about at his apartment, I couldn't imagine Edward being perfectly relaxed and comfortable around Emmett. After all, how quickly could you become at ease in the presence of someone who had physically assaulted you?

I sat here, somewhat impatiently, waiting for Rosalie to arrive home. She was going to help me get ready for the date. I had tried to occupy my time, by listening to music and playing the violin, but it was to no avail. I had contemplated showering for a second time, but that seemed a little redundant, so I had chosen to sit on the couch and just wait. My body was too anxious to really get anything accomplished.

After sitting stone-still on the couch for God knows how long, I heard a key jiggle in the lock at the front door, and my ears perked up as I heard the door creak open and swing shut softly.

"Jesus, Bella - you look like a fucking statue. What are you doing there?" Rosalie asked, slightly out of breath, her tone surprised.

"Sorry, Rose. I had nothing else to do, so I just sat here, waiting for you."

"Eager much?" she teased, laughing softly as she walked across the room, the floor creaking beneath her feet.

"You have no idea," I mumbled, mostly to myself, but I was sure that Rosalie heard me.

"Let me just put my stuff away and change out of these godforsaken heels. I'll meet you in your room," Rosalie called over her shoulder as she walked down the hall towards her and Emmett's bedroom, not even bothering to wait for my response.

Sighing, I got up and headed towards my bedroom, the soft plush carpeting tickling my bare feet as I walked.

It was a warm spring day, perfect for being outside. I could feel the sun shining through the windows around the house and heard the sound of children's laughter filtering through the walls as they ran around outside. I loved springtime. It was my favorite time of the year. The air smelt clean and fresh with hints of fresh cut grass and blooming flowers.

When I got to my room, I immediately headed towards my iPod deck, clicking it on and letting the beautiful harmonies of Michael Bublé fill the room. Something about his voice had a calming affect for me. I needed that calming feeling at that moment. With only an hour and a half until Edward picked me up, I needed all the help I could get to sooth my nerves and make the butterflies that had taken up residence in my stomach to fly away.

"Alrighty, lets get you beautified!" Rosalie exclaimed, clapping her hands together and startling me slightly. I hadn't heard her approach; was too absorbed in my own thoughts. Not an uncommon occurrence over the last week.

I fought the urge to laugh at Rosalie. It occurred to me that she was possibly more excited than I was. She was almost buzzing and I could practically feel her vibrating around the room. I knew, without her having to voice it, that this was the kind of 'sisterly' thing she'd been waiting for. Honestly, I felt the same way. We didn't have this kind of bonding experience very often, despite the fact I considered her my best friend.

Finally, I felt like a normal girl just getting ready for a normal date with a boy with her normal best friend.

"So what are you thinking you want to wear?" Rosalie asked, nonchalantly, even though I knew she probably already had her own ideas and suggestions about what I should wear.

Sitting down on my bed, I shrugged. "I don't really know Rose. Jeans and a t-shirt," I suggested. I heard her let out a half sigh half groan. She was going through my closet, quickly shuffling through its contents, the sound of the metal hangers running against the metal rack in my closet creating an uncomfortable scratching sound. I tried to ignore it.

"You are not wearing jeans and a _t-shirt_," her voice laced with disgust as she said the last word. Rosalie liked to shop at expensive stores, and for the life of me I didn't understand why she would want to spend all that money on designer clothing. But then again, what did I know? I was definitely not a fashionista by any means. Why should I be? It's not like I could even see what I wearing anyway. I concentrated more on the way the material felt. My skin was so hypersensitive to different textures that I had to be careful about what kind of fabric I purchased. My skin was easily irritated. I suppose, that was the one benefit designer clothing had, the material was usually top of the line and much more comfortable than bargain store brands.

"Rose, we're going to most likely be sitting on the ground listening to the music. I'm going to want to be comfortable," I reasoned.

"Okay, okay. You're right," she finally agreed, after a few moments of silence. I was positive she was staring in my closet. I don't know why she was so contemplative about this; she purchased the majority of the clothing in my closet anyway. So my wardrobe obviously had her stamp of approval.

"Ah ha! I found the perfect outfit!" Rosalie exclaimed enthusiastically

"Alright, well, let's get me ready!" I told her, trying to contain my giddiness.

**EPOV**

As I pulled up to Bella's house, the nerves and anxiety that swirled around in my stomach began to increase. I had to take a few deep breaths to try to calm the storm that was waging inside me.

Christ, I couldn't even remember when I had ever been so nervous about taking a girl on a date.

But I was fucking nervous. If I was being honest, I was down right terrified. It wasn't really the date that terrified me so much, as it was Bella herself. I'm not sure I had _ever_ been terrified by a girl either. I was positively petrified of doing or saying the wrong thing; that I might offend her in some way. Heaven knows, I had absolutely no fucking experience of walking on eggshells around someone.

I needed to get over these fears and insecurities. My sister was right; I couldn't let this stop me from finding something potentially great. I was trying not to, but again, it was just that fear of the unknown.

Over the last few nights I discovered I was already finding myself deeply infatuated with this girl; another scary revelation. Our nightly chats were what got me through the last two days. After the conversation with Emmett and my nightly chats with Bella, I felt as though I'd known her forever. In a way, I felt somewhat guilty about our conversations. I hadn't told her everything Emmett had shared with me, and I felt a little bit deceitful. I knew some very personal things about her, and she didn't know that much about me. Talking about myself just wasn't something I liked doing, especially deeply personal things.

Taking another deep breath, I ran my fingers through my hair before getting out of the car and heading up the walkway to Bella's front door.

After knocking softly a few times, Rosalie finally answered.

"Hi, Edward," she stated, a large smile on her face. I don't know why, but I was expecting more of an icy greeting. Perhaps that was because of our last encounter, but this was definitely a pleasant surprise.

"Good afternoon, Rose," I replied. Rosalie gestured with her arm for me to come in. I nodded and stepped into the house, taking a quick opportunity to look around.

The house was small and quaint, which was obvious just from looking at the outside. It was cozy and quite comfortable. It was hard to tell that college students lived here, considering it was so tidy. After stepping through the door, I was lead into what looked to be a family room. I could see into the kitchen straight a head and also down a hallway to my left, which I guess lead to the bedrooms.

"Bella will be out in just a minute."

I nodded at Rosalie, putting my hands in my jean pockets and shifting my weight nervously from one foot to the other. An awkward silence began to build in the room, until finally we heard Bella's footsteps coming down the hallway.

"It's so quiet in here, I was beginning to think you all had left me," she joked, as she stepped into the living room. She was smiling widely and looked breathtakingly beautiful. My memory of her hadn't done her justice for how truly radiant she was.

Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, small wisps of hair framing her face and exposing her soft neck to me. I could almost taste the sweetness of her skin under my tongue. I swallowed thickly, willing the more primal thoughts away. Now was not the time for that.

She was dressed casually, just another reason to add her to the perfect list. She was low maintenance, dressed in a pair of dark jeans, flip-flops and a light blue and black button-down plaid shirt. It was simple, but it suited her well.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, not intending to say the words out loud, but glad I did when I was rewarded with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"Thank you," she whispered back.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked gently. She nodded in response as she began walking towards me, snapping her cane open in the process.

"You two kids have fun," Rosalie told us, as we walked towards the door.

"Thanks, Rose," Bella replied, giving her friend a smile. I turned around to give Rosalie a smile, and noticed she was watching us closely.

"I'll take good care of her," I told Rosalie, giving her the most charming smile I could muster.

"You better." She warned, obviously trying to keep her face and stance intimidating, but her lips began to turn up into a slight smile.

I nodded at her, before taking Bella's hand and leading her out the door and toward the car.

-:-:-:-

Gallup Park wasn't far from Bella's home, so it didn't take us long to arrive. The car ride over was comfortable and conversation flowed as easily as it usually did.

In preparation for the date, and if I was being honest, with a lot of help from Alice, I had packed us a picnic lunch. During one of our phone conversations, I managed to slip in questions about her favorite foods to make sure I packed items she would like. I hoped she would appreciate the gesture and not think I was a total douche-bag.

Hopping out of the car, I quickly grabbed the cooler and blankets and had every intention of opening her door and helping her from the car. But I was too late and she was already standing beside her door, sunglasses on and cane in hand when I got there.

"I wanted to open the door for you," I told her, putting as much of a pout into the tone of my voice as possible.

She laughed her melodic angel laugh and shook her head. "I appreciate the gesture, Edward, but I am perfectly capable of opening and closing a car door myself."

"I know, Bella," I told her quickly, not wanting her to think I thought she was incapable of opening the door due to her blindness, "But I wanted to be gentlemanly and open the door for you," I told her as I walked closer to her and took her hand in mine as I guided us through the park.

Gallup Park is one of the largest parks in the Ann Arbor area, covering about seventy-acres of land. It was the perfect setting for the festival, as it was big enough to accommodate large amounts of people. Also, it contained two playgrounds, picnic areas, open fields for play, and over three miles of asphalt trails. It was one of my favorite places to run.

"Thank you Edward, that's very sweet of you," she replied back, smiling in my direction. "Very old fashioned, but sweet," She continued, teasingly.

"Hey, my Momma raised me to be respectful and open doors for a lady!" I defended. She laughed again, nodding.

"Yes, she certainly has. I hope I can meet her one day," she told me, her voice softening at the end. I glanced down at her and she was biting her lower lip, her cheeks flushing into that adorable blush I loved.

"You will," I promised, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"How about we find a nice, spacious, grassy area where we can relax and be far enough away from the crowds, but still close enough to listen to the music?" I asked her and I turned my head to look at her as she nodded her head.

"I've brought a few blankets for us to sit on and packed us a picnic lunch…," I explained, eyeing her, waiting for her reaction and hoping it was a good one.

Immediately, her face lit up. "You packed a picnic lunch?" Her voice held a mixture of wonderment and disbelief.

"Well technically its lunch packed in a cooler, and not an actual picnic basket, but yeah I did. Is that okay?"

"It's perfect," she answered, the bright smile never leaving her face.

As we walked, I tried to ignore the stares of other people around us, but it was difficult. Bella still had her cane out, tapping it in front of us. I felt my face flame slightly out of embarrassment, due to the obvious stares. I sort of wished she had just put it away, considering she was holding my hand and I could have easily guided her to where we were going. I didn't want to offend her though or make her think I was embarrassed to be seen with her, because that wasn't the case. So I decided it was best if I just kept my mouth shut. Instead, I focused on sending all the rude onlookers an angry glare, which in turn caused them to immediately look the other way. Bella was, in a way, lucky that she couldn't see the way people were gawking at her. I wondered if that would make her uneasy.

I shook off the uncomfortable feelings and focused my attention back on Bella.

Once I found the perfect spot on the lawn, I let go of Bella's hand so I could set down the cooler and spread the blankets out for us to sit on.

"Let me just spread these blankets out and we can get comfortable," I explained to her, not really sure how much of my movements I should be clarifying for her, since she couldn't see what I was doing. Anxiety started to build inside me again that I was going to do something wrong. Then I thought perhaps I already had. I quickly squashed the feeling, as it seemed Bella was having a perfectly good time so far.

Once the blankets were spread out, I tugged on her arm gently so she could sit down. I watched as she plopped down, folding her legs into an Indian-style position and closing up her cane before sliding it into her purse. I tried to focus on how relaxed she seemed to be. If she could be comfortable, then so could I.

As I sat down next to her, I pulled open the cooler.

"So, on the menu tonight are a variety of gourmet delicacies," I told her, shuffling through the contents of the cooler, and she let out a little giggle, which in turn caused me to smile. I love that sound. "We have PB&J sandwiches, strawberries, grapes, goldfish crackers as well as carrot and celery sticks. For dessert, we have oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and angel food cake."

"You packed all my favorites," she accused, smiling while raising an eyebrow.

"I did." I affirmed, proudly. "Has anyone ever told you that you have an appetite of a six-year-old?"

She laughed, nodding her head vigorously. "All the time! Rosalie and Emmett make fun of me constantly. I can't help it, I like what I like!"

"Fair enough. I find it rather adorable, actually."

Bella's cheeks reddened at my confession, and I wanted so badly just to lean over and kiss her, to place my lips on her cheek and see if it was as warm and soft as it looked. She was so fucking beautiful.

"So, what'll it be first?"

"Sandwich," she answered affirmatively, holding out her hand.

"Excellent choice,"

I handed her one of the sandwiches before opening the other one for myself.

A comfortable silence fell between us, as we sat close together on the blanket, just absorbing the harmonies of the music that surrounded us as we picked at our food.

"Bella I..,"

"Edward what..,"

We started speaking at the same time, causing us to let out synchronized laughs. "You go first," I told her.

"What did my brother say to you when he came over?" she asked curiously.

I thought about her question for a moment, debating how exactly to answer. It was apparent that Emmett had told her nothing. This conversation could go one of two ways. She could be okay with the amount of information I already knew about her, or she could get very angry. To my credit, it wasn't really my fault I knew everything that I did. Emmett volunteered the information quite willingly, without any prodding from me. But would she understand that?

"Is it that bad?" Bella questioned at my long pause, letting out a nervous laugh and breaking me from my thoughts.

"Well, I hope not. I just wasn't sure how to start exactly…,"

"How about the beginning," she suggested, shrugging her shoulders.

"That sounds logical," I responded, laughing nervously.

I explained to her how Emmett had unexpectedly showed up at my front door saying that he had something he wanted to speak to me about, namely her. I told her about how Emmett had confessed that he wanted to set things right, that he knew he fucked up and treated me unfairly, that because his sister was able to give me a chance and trust me, he would too. She listened intently, no longer even bothering to eat her food.

"He also wanted to explain to me why he was so protective of you…," I said, trailing off on the end, nervous to reveal this next bit of information.

"He did?" she asked cautiously, biting her lip. I studied at her for a moment, taking her in as she thought about what that possibly meant and what I most likely knew. "How much do you know?" Her voice was just a whisper now.

"Well, I think… everything," I answered, running my fingers through my hair, while being unable to take my eyes away from Bella.

She nodded her head, bringing her hand up to her mouth and nibbling on her fingernails. She was obviously nervous, or possibly mad. I couldn't exactly tell which. She had those damn sunglasses on, so it was hard to read her expression.

"Are you mad?" I asked, wanting so badly to reach over and hold her, or touch her; anything to comfort her.

"More like embarrassed," she whispered, bringing her hand away from her face. Her head tilted downwards and she played with the end of her shirt.

"Embarrassed? Why?" I asked, incredulously. What did she possibly have to be embarrassed about? I was in awe of her strength and courage, to overcome such a horrifying situation.

She just shrugged her shoulders as she took her lower lip between her teeth when it began to tremble. My heart ached as I watched her and I wondered if she was trying not to cry. I didn't know if it was the fact that Emmett had told me everything that bothered her or if it was the fact that she now had to relive some of those horrifying memories. I wondered what she could remember. Could she remember anything at all about the accident, or what it was like to have her vision? I pushed these question to the back of my mind, now was not the time to be asking them.

"You don't have anything to be embarrassed about. I'm sorry that Emmett told me everything, but he just let it all out. I didn't prod him for information in any way." I explained, not wanting her to think that I had gone behind her back to get information about her.

"I believe you," she whispered, her voice shaky.

Hesitantly, I reached for her hand. I needed to touch her, in any way she would let me. I wanted to comfort her, she looked so distressed and I couldn't bear it. She let me intertwine our fingers together and her body seemed to relax.

"Bella, I'm amazed by you – your strength and courage," I told her, voicing my thoughts from just moments before. "You are an incredible woman, to have gone through everything you have in such a short amount of time, and come out of it to be the amazing woman you have. I don't know many people that could have done it. I think that so many would have given up."

"It wasn't always easy, still isn't," she choked out, and I saw a tear roll out from under her sunglasses and down her cheeks. Without thinking, I brought my thumb up and wiped it away, the skin of her cheeks just as soft as I had imagined it to be.

"I'm sure it wasn't." I wasn't sure what else to say. My mind was conflicted as I hoped she'd both change the subject and share more of her past with me. I wanted to hear it from her lips. But, I wanted her to tell me on her own time, I didn't want to push her. "I'm sorry-,"

"Don't apologize," she interrupted, shaking her head. "It easier this way, ya know? I'm not mad Emmett told you. Honestly, it makes me feel a little bit relieved. I don't have that pressure anymore to explain to you about why I am blind."

I continued to hold her hand, rubbing slow circles with my thumb on her palm, not saying anything. I wasn't entirely sure what to say at this moment.

"Thank you," Bella said, finally breaking through the tense air between us.

"For what?" I asked, legitimately confused about what she could possibly be thanking me for.

"For what you said, about admiring me for my strength…," she whispered, biting her lip again. Without thinking, I reached up and placed my thumb gently on her lip, pulling it out from underneath the grasp of her teeth.

"I meant it."

"I have my grandparents to thank for it. I'm not sure I could have gotten through everything if it wasn't…," she trailed off, her voice cracking slightly. She brought her hand up to her mouth, covering it in what looked like an attempt to stop herself from crying.

"It's okay, you don't have to talk about it," I said, my voice soft and soothing. I pulled her closer to me so I could wrap my arms around her. She tilted her head so it rested on my shoulder, sniffling softly.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again. "This is not how I wanted to be spending our time."

"There is nothing to be sorry for."

We continued to sit in the same position for several minutes longer, listening to the music. I took a deep breath, inhaling her vanilla and lavender scent. I would have sat with her in my arms all night, but eventually she pulled away asking if we could jump straight to dessert. I started coughing as soon as the words left her mouth, my immature mind going in a completely different direction than what she had actually meant. Once I composed myself, I asked her if she wanted the cookie or the cake.

"Bella?" I asked after a few moments of eating in silence. She turned in the direction of my voice, acknowledging she heard me.

"Can you tell me a little bit about what it's like for you to… uh… be blind?" I asked her, hesitantly, hoping I wasn't going to open up more wounds or offend her in anyway. I was honestly just curious.

She nodded her head, "Sure."

She brought her knees up to her chest so her feet were resting flat against the ground, resting her chin on her knees as she contemplated my question.

"My hearing is more refined and sensitive and so picks up on the most subtle of sounds. Noises that wouldn't be audible to others are often as clear as day and scream out to me. Emmett jokes that I have hearing like a dog. Sometimes, little sounds annoy me, but aren't even audible to other people."

I watched her face intently as she spoke.

"My refined olfactory senses pick out the most miniscule of aromas. Honestly, that's how I knew you were approaching me in the park last week. I had actually already picked up your unique smell previously, I knew I had been around you before," she confessed. I was surprised when she didn't appear embarrassed by confessing this secret to me.

Silence filled the air between us once again, both of us lost in our own thoughts as we listened to the music and the people laughing and moving around us.

"Edward?" she asked me shyly, cutting through the silence. She looked so adorable I had to smile.

"Yes?" I asked softly, studying her face. It would never get old hearing my name roll out between her soft pink lips. I stroked the top of her hand softly with my thumb. She bit her lower lip again and I frowned. She seemed nervous about something. After all we had just talked about, I didn't know how she could possibly be nervous about asking me a question. "You can ask me anything Bella," I reassured her.

"Can I… touch your face?" she asked timidly, her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink, I was assuming from embarrassment. I was a little confused at first, as to why she would ask that, but then she elaborated and it made sense.

"I want to feel what you look like. I want to get to know your face, your expressions, read the emotions behind your words, since I can't see them. I need to feel…," Her cheeks flamed an even darker shade of pink at her honest confession. "I already know Emmett and Rosalie so well that I can read their emotions easily through their tone of voice…," She continued to explain, but it was unnecessary. I would gladly give her anything she asked of me.

"Of course," I responded softly. Timidly, she raised her hand up and I took it gently in mine, guiding it towards my face. She cupped my cheek gently and rubbed soft circles with the pad of her thumb as she brought her other hand up to caress my other cheek. My eyes fluttered closed from the sensation of her small fingers. It felt amazing.

Her sweet breath fanned out over my face, causing me to involuntarily lick my lips as I thought about what she might taste like.

I opened my eyes to watch her face as she studied me with her hands. She was so beautiful and innocent. I don't think I would ever be able to wrap my mind around how gorgeous she was. It was taking all my self-control not to pop a boner right now. Last thing I wanted to do was scare her, but it was becoming increasingly difficult with every movement of her hands.

She glided her fingertips gently over my skin, shooting an electric current throughout my entire body and causing me to tremor slightly. Her fingertips trailed across my cheek and up to the edge of my ear. Slowly, she dragged her pointer fingers down my jaw, over my chin then back up to my ears.

Her touches were so simple and innocent but they were releasing desires in me I hadn't known existed. I never would have thought something so innocent could be so completely erotic.

She dusted her fingers over my closed eye-lids and I felt a rush of air hit my face as she exhaled. "I wish I could see them," she murmured, and I furrowed my brow, slightly confused as to what she meant.

"Your eyes. Rosalie said they are the most intense, nearly startling, shade of green she's ever seen," she whispered, sighing and moving her fingers away. I opened my eyes then and saw that she had a slight frown on her face.

I wanted to know so badly what she was thinking, but even more than that, I wanted to see her smile and taste her lips.

"Bella," I whispered, "I want to kiss you. May I?" My heart began hammering wildly in my chest, concerned I had overstepped my bounds and that maybe this would be moving to quickly for her.

She let out a shaky breath and nodded her head so slightly that had I not been studying her face so closely I wouldn't have even noticed. "I might be bad at it."

I chuckled softly as I brought my hand up to cup her cheek. My fingers wrapped gently around the back of her neck, entwining into her hair as I rubbed soft circles on her cheek with the pad of my thumb. I leaned closer to her, my eyes never leaving her face, I whispered, "That's not possible."

She whimpered softly as I gently removed her sunglasses. My breath fanned out over her face, my lips only millimeters from hers. Her eyes were closed and she licked her lips just before I connected mine with hers gently. I held my lips still against hers for a moment even though I was aching to devour her. But I was consciously aware that I needed to tread lightly with her and go slowly despite what my hormones were begging me to do. Instead, I relished in the feeling of her soft lips against mine.

Ever so slowly, I began moving my lips against hers and she tentatively moved hers with mine. Her posture was stiff and rigid, her arms hanging tightly at her sides, so I took my other hand and brought it around to caress her back softly. "Relax," I whispered, pulling away just for a moment before reconnecting our lips and rubbing her back up and down gently. Hesitantly, her rigid stance began to relax and she moved her lips more confidently against mine. I moved the hand that had been on her back around to run it up and down her arm softly, all the while my other hand continued to caress her cheek. She whimpered against my mouth, parting her lips slightly and causing me to groan involuntarily.

I sighed into her mouth, relishing in the taste of her. It was better than I ever imagined. Testing my limits, I opened my mouth slightly to let my tongue slip out and graze against her lower lip.

Abruptly, she pulled away from me.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out quickly, worried maybe I had pushed my luck and maybe it had been too soon to kiss her. Did I push her? I mean this was only our first date. I didn't want her to think that I was pressuring her or force her into do anything. She had started it though with the whole face touching thing and I couldn't help what her touches had done to me.

"It's ok," she said softly, breaking me out of my rambling thoughts. "It was nice," she continued, her lips curling up into a shy smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

I also couldn't keep my eyes off her. She had replaced her sunglasses then dropped her fingers to her lips and was smiling so widely, I thought her face might crack.

The rest of the evening was more laid-back than the first half of the date. After eating, we took the cooler back to the car and decided to walk around a bit. We ended up at one of the parks, where we sat on the swings, talking and laughing. I contemplated volunteering some more personal information about myself, specifically information about my father since she always appeared to be interested about why I avoided speaking about him but was always too polite to ask. Instead, I decided there was plenty of time for that. We had enough intense conversation for one night.

:-:-:-:

After pulling into her driveway, I put the car into park and quickly jumped out, running around to the other side so I could open her door for her.

"Thank you," she whispered, smiling. I took her hand in mine, so she didn't bother snapping open her cane. I loved how she trusted me so much that she would let me guide her.

As we approached the door, I pulled her close to me, preventing her from opening the door right away.

"I had a great time."

"Me too," she whispered. "Thank you, for every thing."

"Can I call you tomorrow?" I asked her, bringing our intertwined hands up to my lips, kissing her knuckles gently. She smiled widely.

"You better," she answered

"Can I kiss you goodnight?" I asked, tugging her a little bit closer to me, hoping she wouldn't object.

"Please…,"

I brought my freehand up under her chin, angling her head slightly, before brushing my lips softly against hers in a chastely. I pulled away, before my hormones got a mind of their own.

"Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward."

* * *

**A/N**: Please review if you are so inclined =)


	10. Chapter 10 Falling

**A/N:** Thank you as usual to _**BellaMadonna**_ and _**littleclarestar**_ for their awesomesauce beta skills and continual support. Thank you to _**Juliamine**_ for her Twilighted validation.

Also, to my ladies over on twitter for their endless support as well. I heart you all.

If you have a twitter, and aren't following me, you should! I post lots of Robporn and occasional teasers. =) Link to my Twitter on my profile.

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward an adorable frat guy, Emmett a wee bit overprotective and Carlisle a bit of an asshole.

* * *

**Chapter 10 – Falling**

I don't know but  
I think I maybe fallin' for you  
Dropping so quickly  
Maybe I should keep this to myself

Waiting 'til I know you better  
I am trying not to tell you  
But I want to

I'm scared of what you'll say  
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling  
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time  
Just thinking about ya  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life  
and now I found ya  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm falling for you  
I'm falling for you

- Colbie Caillat

**EPOV **

My fingers floated over the ivory keys without any instruction from my brain, melodies drifting around me like the soft caress of Bella's fingertips on my skin. I closed my eyes, a shiver running through my body from the emotions evoked by that recent memory.

I smiled as an image of Bella's beautiful face pushed itself into my mind. Her face was the perfect backdrop to the notes that surrounded me.

I'd woken up this morning with an uncontrollable need to compose, to get out the melodies drifting around in my head; melodies inspired by Bella. My piano was at my parent's house, my father refusing to move it into my apartment – saying it would pose too much of a distraction to my " far more important" studies - so I had to settle and use my keyboard instead.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been playing, time always seemed irrelevant when I became absorbed in music, but it had to have been close to two hours.

My musical muse was cruelly interrupted by the shrill ringing tones emanating from my cell phone.

With a heavy sigh, I got up from the chair and headed in the direction of the trilling cell phone. 'Alice' flashed across the screen and I automatically smiled.

"Good morning sister, dear."

"Good morning sweet jack-ass brother of mine," she responded sweetly.

"Jackass? That's not the wonderful greeting I'd been expecting."

"Well that's the greeting you get when you don't call to fill in your nosey, yet totally amazing, older sister with the dirty deets of the amazingly awesome date she helped you plan."

I couldn't help but laugh as I listened to the words fly out of her mouth at hyper-speed.

"First of all, Alice, when have I ever filled you in on 'the dirty deets' of my dates?" I couldn't help rolling my eyes.

"When have you even last been on a date, Edward?" she asked pointedly. She had me there. "So are you going to tell me how it went, or what?

I knew she wouldn't let me off the phone until I told her all about it, so there was no sense in fighting the inevitable. So, I told her. How it'd been more successful than I could have ever planned and how I was finding myself in far deeper than I would have ever imagined myself being. I left out the information about Bella's exploration of my face and the two kisses we shared, because that shit was private and not something I wanted to share with my nosy sister.

It was, though, somehow a relief to talk to someone about Bella and the sudden intensity of the emotions I'd been feeling.

"Aww, my little brother is in _love_," Alice sang teasingly.

"I am not in love, Alice!" I protested. "I've known her for two weeks!" The fact she would even say that was completely ridiculous. It was impossible to fall in love with someone you'd known for such a short period of time. Wasn't it?

"Time means nothing when it comes to matters of the heart," she chided me. "Besides, you've never even been in love. So how would you know?" she questioned, in her 'all-knowing' voice.

"I loved Tanya," I told her, not at all convincingly. I knew I was lying. I didn't love Tanya. I never really had. I'd always thought I had. But since meeting Bella, I knew. Tanya was my first girlfriend, and we had got together during sophomore year of high school, remaining that way until we got to college where things got really fucked up during our first semester.

"You did not love that _whore,_" Alice snarled, the phone doing little to disguise her disgust.

"Alice!"

"Well, you didn't. And she _was_ a whore," she reiterated angrily. "You know I hate that fucking bitch and always have," she muttered. "She nearly ruined your entire life!"

"Don't be so dramatic, Alice. She didn't nearly _ruin_ my life," I told her, not really wanting to discuss that particularly fucked up time of my life. I avoided Tanya at all costs. Being part of my fraternity's sister sorority, I unfortunately saw more of her than I bargained for. But Tanya was the last thing I wanted to talk about with my sister. I didn't want to ruin the good mood I was in by speaking about my past fuck-ups. "So anyway…"

"So back to the topic at hand,' Alice took my hint and moved back to our original subject. "Bella!" she said emphatically. "When do I get to meet her?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers in sibling frustration and groaned audibly. "I don't know, Alice. Forgive me for not wanting to subject her to your special brand of crazy."

"Well, just don't make it too long. I want to meet this girl who's managed to wrap my little brother around her finger," she said. I could hear the smirk in her voice. "Plus, you probably want me to meet her before you introduce her to Mom and Dad."

"Alice…," I warned, hoping to God she hadn't said anything to our parents about Bella yet.

"Relax, Edward. I didn't tell Mom and Dad anything about Bella," she insisted. "But you can't expect to hide her away. You know Mom is entirely too perceptive about things like this. She's _definitely_ going to notice a change in you. Christ, I can already see a change in your disposition. Esme is going to eat that shit right up."

Damn, I knew she was right. My mother was like a vulture.

"Just give me time to figure out what _this_ even is," I said, running my fingers through my hair, trying to release some of my anxiety. My sister could be incredibly intense; she did take after our mother after all.

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered. "Anyway, speaking of Mom and Dad, I just left their house after having brunch with them. Mom was upset you couldn't make it, by the way," I just nodded my head, as if she could see me. I didn't need say anything; I knew she'd keep talking. "Dad started interrogating me about whether or not I knew anything about how the semester ended for you. So don't be surprised if he calls you later."

_Great_. I groaned loudly. Just how I wanted to spend my Sunday afternoon: anticipating and then participating in the inevitable fight with my father. My post-date buzz was most definitely ruined. "Thanks for the heads up, Al."

"No problem lil' bro."

"Alice, will you please stop calling me your 'little brother'. I'm like three times your size."

"You'll always be my little baby brother," she teased. I could tell she was smiling on the other end. Even though I couldn't see her, the smile was contagious.

Alice and I talked for a little bit longer before she made me promise to not wait too long before we got together and ended the call.

I spent the rest of the early afternoon lounging around my apartment and coordinating my summer schedule. While I already knew that my father expected me to volunteer at the hospital and study for the MCAT, I had also been approached by a few guys in my Art of Music course about jamming with them and attending a few gigs. They had formed a band a few months ago, but their guitarist bailed on them for a summer trip to Europe after they'd already committed to routine gigs around the area for the entire summer. They were apparently enthusiastic to have me and I'd agreed almost immediately. I had been completely ecstatic when they asked. This was exactly the kind of thing I lived for. I'd played in public before but I'd never been part of a band. It had always been for recitals or open-mic-nights at coffee houses. Now every Thursday evening I'd be part of a band, playing music for other people. Nothing made me happier.

Except the idea of Bella being there to hear me play.

I also spent a good portion of the afternoon staring at my phone, trying to decide when it would be okay to call Bella. I didn't want to call her too early, but I also didn't want to wait too long and make her think I'd forgotten about her or that I didn't want to see her again. Because truthfully, I _really_ wanted to see her again - And soon!

The idea of seeing Bella again soon made me smile again and I could feel my heart beating faster from the thought. Just as I made the decision to call her, my phone started ringing, starling me and jolting me up off the coach. I reached for phone, hoping it was her deciding to call me first.

As soon as I glanced at the display, the smile immediately fell from my face. It wasn't 'Bella' flashing across the screen, but instead 'Dad'.

Knowing I couldn't avoid him forever, I decided to just answer the call and deal with him now.

"Hello."

"Good afternoon, Edward," my father's gruff voice filtered through the phone. "Your mother was disappointed that you couldn't join us this morning for brunch."

_Immediately starting in on something negative. So what else was new? _

"Tell her I'll come by this week for dinner," I told him, hoping that would appease him for now. He hummed in response, and silence lingered through the phone for what was probably the longest five seconds of my life.

"Tell me Edward, how did your classes finish up?"

"Good," I answered and I could practically see him rolling in his eyes at me through the phone at my lack of details.

"Grades?"

"Not posted until next week."

"You'll send me a copy of your grade report?"

"I always do."

"You've signed up for the MCAT course, I presume?"

"Yes, I already got the check from Mom."

"I've arranged for you to begin volunteering at the hospital next week. I figured you might enjoy at least one week of freedom before starting your busy summer."

"How kind of you," I muttered sarcastically. If he heard the sarcastic tone, he chose to ignore it and continued speaking.

"You'll volunteer two days in the pediatric ward and one day in the ER. I wanted to make sure you had experience with emergency situations. Monday and Wednesday's in pediatrics and Friday's in the ER. You'll begin promptly at ten in the morning, and stay until they no longer need you. I anticipate until at least seven in the evening -."

"Wait, you already arranged all this? Without bothering to ask me what other kinds of plans I have?" I asked in disbelief. His audacity never ceased to amaze me.

"What other plans do you have that are more important than your future?" I could hear the coolness in his tone.

"I already have a commitment on Wednesday afternoons," I answered, not wanting him to ask what that commitment was because I knew my response would not go over well with him.

"What might that commitment be?" he asked with an incredulous tone.

"I have band practice," I mumbled in response.

"Band practice?!" He nearly spat the words "Is this some kind of joke?"

I felt the anger begin to boil up under my skin. I didn't want to do this but I was tired of him treating my music like it was nothing.

"Yes, band practice. Some guys in my music course asked me to be a part of the band and we have practice Sunday and Wednesday afternoons with gigs on Thursday evenings. I've already made the commitment. I'm not backing out now," I told him firmly, refusing to let my confidence wane and let him take this decision away from me.

He let out a derisive laugh and I rolled my eyes, throwing myself down on my couch and pinching the bridge of my nose.

"That is not a commitment. What is more important: Your future or this _band_ that will get you _no where_ in life?" I could hear the anger rolling through his words.

"It's important to _me. _Why can't you see how important it is and just accept it? Why can't you just accept that music _is_ a part of my future," I seethed into the phone.

"Don't take that tone with me, son," he barked out, his voice getting louder as he spoke, "You know _exactly_ why I don't accept it and why I _refuse_ to let you _ruin_ your life over something as silly as music."

I grinded my teeth together as I clenched my jaw closed tightly. I really had to bite back all the things I wanted to say or to just tell him to 'fuck off'.

"You are going to be at the hospital Monday, Wednesday and Friday's. I don't care what you have to do to make it happen, but you _are_ going to make it happen."

"Fine. Are we done?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"For now."

Not even bothering to tell him good-bye, I simply hung up the phone and threw it down on the floor. A loud frustrated growl ripped from my throat as I tugged at my hair. I stood up and began pacing back and forth in an attempt to calm myself down. He always did this. I should be used to him diminishing my love of music down to nothing, acting like it was meaningless. Yes, I did know why he felt that way, but I thought it was completely irrational. He was arrogant and couldn't get over things that happened in the past. The rest of us could, for the most part, so why couldn't he?

Abruptly, I picked up the phone and dialed the only person I knew who could calm me in this moment.

"Hello?"

I closed my eyes and relished in the sweet tone of her voice, as it instantly floated over my body and soothed my aching soul.

"Hi," I breathed out, one side of my mouth lifting up into a crooked smile.

"Well good afternoon, handsome," she replied, her voice light and cheery.

"What are you doing for dinner? I'd really like to see you," I blurted out, not caring that my need to see her right now was overriding my brain-to-mouth filter.

She let out a tiny laugh that made my heart sputter. "I don't have any plans. I'd love you to see you."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Can I pick you up in a two hours?"

"That sounds perfect."

:-:-:-:

**BPOV**

I'd woken up in the morning with a smile so wide I thought my face would crack. I'd been wandering around the house all morning, and most of the early afternoon, feeling like part of Disney movie. It felt as though at any moment birds would come floating through my window and all the forest animals would gather around and we would sing a song about love and my prince would finally ride up on his white horse to carry me away.

It was a little crazy, and a little cheesy, but I couldn't help the feeling.

My heart practically burst out of my chest as I went over my memories of the previous night. It had been so perfect. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

Edward never ceased to amaze me. I'd convinced myself he was too good to be true. I had been more than lucky to find him. I wasn't going to question my good fortune; but instead embrace it for what it was.

Perfect.

The whole night had been magical, despite my mini-meltdown. I had tried to prepare myself for the possibility that Edward knew everything. Emmett wasn't one to hold things back what needed to be said, and he'd made the right call in telling Edward everything about our parents and the crash. But that didn't make it any less difficult to think or talk about. As strong as I appeared, and even felt most of the time, I still had my moments of weakness; times where I wanted to do nothing but cry and morn the loss of four of the most important people in my life. I was grateful to have Emmett and Rosalie in my life, but they couldn't replace my parents, or grandparents; no one could.

Edward had taken my mini-breakdown in stride, never once seeming uncomfortable with my tears. I'd been surprisingly comfortable letting them flow out in front of him as well. Instead of backing away from me, he had pulled me into his strong arms and enveloped me into his warmth.

Nothing had ever felt as good as being in Edwards arms, _nothing_.

I let out a contented sigh at the memory.

I paused my thought process for a moment. Ummm… Maybe there was _one_ thing that felt better than being in Edward's arms.

His lips on mine!

I had to steel myselfnot let out a squeal at the emotions the memory of his lips and the feelings they had evoked inside of me. When he told me he wanted to kiss me, I thought I was going to pass out, my heart pounding in my chest to the beat of the panic inside me. Before I knew it, I was nodding my head and telling him I might be bad at it.

_Who says that??_

He didn't seem to mind though and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect first kiss. His lips were soft and gentle, but I could almost taste the hunger he felt; that I felt too. Being with Edward evoked feelings and desires that were both frightening and exhilarating all at the same time. I felt like a new part of me was awakening, one that was ready for adventure and exploration, to finally _live._

I continued to think about the previous night, remembering my fingertips exploring his face. I couldn't believe I'd had the guts to ask him if I could touch his face. The words had flown out of my mouth before I'd even realized I'd been saying them. The curiosity I held about his appearance was sometimes overwhelming. I knew he had to be beautiful, no one with a voice as smooth and sexy as his could belong to anything but an incredibly attractive man. I felt heat flood throughout my body as the memory of my fingers floating over the sharp angles of his jaw consumed me. His skin was soft but at the same time rough from the slight growth of facial hair. Honestly, I didn't care what he looked like, it's not like I'd be seeing his appearance anytime soon, or ever.

Abruptly, I was pulled from my thoughts from the loud buzzing of my cell phone. My heart jumped at the possibility of it being Edward.

"Hello?"

The line was silent, but I could hear breathing on the other end. Just as I was about to speak, the soothing voice I'd grown to long for over the last two weeks floated through the line.

"Hi."

"Well good afternoon, handsome," I replied, confidently and probably slightly too enthusiastically. But I couldn't bring myself to care.

"What are you doing for dinner? I'd really like to see you," he blurted out.

I couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness.

"I don't have any plans. I'd love you to see you."

"Can I pick you up in a two hours?"

"That sounds perfect."

We talked for a few more moments before hanging up. A light sigh escaped my lips as I felt back on my bed. He really was too good to be true.

:-:-:-:

It didn't take me long to get ready for the evening, deciding to stay dressed in my loose fitting v-neck t-shirt and denim shorts. It was an uncharacteristically hot day in May, requiring cool loose fitting clothing. I pulled my hair up in a bun, wanting my hair off of the back of my neck.

Edward arrived just as he said he would, two hours after our phone conversation. I was impressed with his punctuality. I thought of Emmett, who couldn't be on time to save his life. Rosalie and I joked that we were going to have to lie and tell him he was getting married two hours before he actually was just so he wouldn't be late for his own ceremony.

When Edward came to the door I had been in my room grabbing my purse, requiring Emmett to open the door. I'd been slightly nervous about them being around each other again, but was pleasantly surprised by Emmett's positive attitude and behavior towards Edward. It was quite a surprise to hear Emmett joking and laughing with him. It made my insides burst with happiness that my brother could actually get along with Edward and was holding true to his promise of giving him a chance.

I almost hated to pull them apart while they were getting along so well. However, I was anxious to get Edward all to myself. We said good-bye to Rosalie and Emmett, but not before Emmett could get in one solid threat that Edward better take good care of me. Edward promised he would, before taking my hand and guiding me towards the car. This time, I let him open the door for me, knowing now that he seemed to enjoy doing gentlemanly things like that. Who was I to deny him that little bit of happiness?

Not a moment during the car ride to the restaurant was silent. Edward was so easy to talk to; I was never short of topics to discuss with him.

Once we arrived at the restaurant, I didn't bother pulling my cane out of my purse. I trusted Edward to guide me. Edward opened the door for me once again, before placing his hand in mine.

The hostess greeted us when we entered the restaurant. Her flirtatious tone with Edward was not lost on me. I thought it was completely obvious he was with me and incredibly rude of her to attempt to flirt with him right under my nose. My body had involuntarily stiffened while listening to her obvious comments. Edward thankfully showed no indication that he appreciated her advances. Instead, he pulled my body closer to his, squeezing my hand firmly while rubbing soothing circles on my palm with his thumb. His tone was short with her as we walked to our table. He kissed my cheek and pulled out my chair for me. I didn't miss the waitresses huffing sounds as she walked away. I couldn't help but smile to myself in victory.

_Mine_.

We ordered our food quickly, Edward helping me with the menu items since they didn't provide brail menus, and began small talk.

I couldn't help but notice that something seemed off about him. His mood had shifted and I couldn't understand why.

The tension was rolling off of him in waves. Even without knowing him for very long, I could tell that something was eating away at him. Ever so slowly, I brought my hand up onto the table and tentatively reached across towards him, hoping he'd understand what I was trying to do. I wanted to comfort him, to show him that it was okay to confide in me, to talk to me. But our relationship, if that's what I could call it at this point, was too fresh, too new, and I was suddenly too afraid to actually voice the words.

Instantly, one of his large hands enveloped mine. His hands were soft, but I could feel his roughened fingertips, most likely calloused from years of wear against guitar strings. I suddenly had a near overwhelming need to hear him play and I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face as our skin made contact.

With great effort, I forced the smile away to try to wear a more serious facial expression. "Is everything alright, Edward?"

I heard him take a deep breath and exhale heavily.

"It's just my father…," he started before being interrupted by our waitress, dropping off our drinks.

I waited patiently for Edward to continue after the waitress left. Since I've known Edward, he had carefully avoided all conversation about his father. I'd learned quite a bit about his sister Alice and a little bit about his mother, but hardly anything about his father. All I knew was that he was a doctor.

"He has a tendency to completely disregard my interest in music. He always has, ever since I was a kid. He tried to get me into sports and other things, to distract me from music, but it never worked. I can't tell you how many fights he and my mom had when I was younger; after each one she would come home with a new instrument or sign me up for another class…," he trailed off towards the end, his voice taking on an irritated edge. His grip on my hand tightened.

I couldn't imagine how any parent would completely dismiss their child's interests and talents. I had yet to hear Edward play any instruments, but I knew he was incredibly talented. I could tell by the passion he held when he spoke about his music. It was once of the qualities I found incredibly attractive about him.

I started running soothing circles with my thumb along the top of his hand, showing him I was listening.

"I know exactly why he feels that way…," he stated, starting to answer my silent question, but then completely avoiding it all together, "…I just think its complete bullshit." I could feel his body vibrating in agitation across the table.

I nodded my head, unsure of what he needed me to say or do.

He laughed lightly, the sound coming out more bitter than happy. "I'd been so excited to tell you about the band I got invited to join and the gigs-,"

"You joined a band??" I asked excitedly, interrupting him before whipping my hand up to cover my mouth. "Oops, sorry…,"

He laughed again, this time a more genuine sound, "Its okay, that's the reaction I was hoping for when I told someone for the first time, but that's not the one I got."

He sighed before continuing. "Instead I had my father basically tell me it was a waste of my time and that I was _ruining_ my future." He paused for a moment and I wondered if I should make some kind of comment. Before I could decide, he continued. "My father has basically planned my entire summer out for me already without even consulting me. How wonderful is that?" I felt the question was rhetorical, so I just waited for him to continue. "He _told_ me when I'd be volunteering at the hospital and he didn't seem to care at all that it conflicted with my previous commitment of band practice." I could hear his fingers run through his hair and I knew he just needed a chance to rant. I heard the air rush from his mouth in a "Humph" before he said, "God, I'm sorry, Bella. I don't mean to be so fucking whiny. I know my Dad is just pissed off because the things _I_ want to do in life aren't what _he_ had planned for me. I don't mean to burden you with all this."

His hand gripped tighter around mine, interlacing our fingers together before bringing our hands up to his lips to kiss my palm gently.

"It's okay. I'm glad you feel you can vent to me. I'm nothing if not a good listener." I smiled at him and I could feel the tension leaving his body as his hand relaxed around mine.

"You're good for me, you know that?" he said, kissing my hand once again and my heart did a little happy dance in my chest. I couldn't speak so I just smiled at him.

Our food came, causing Edward to reluctantly release my hand. We ate in silence for a few minutes before my curiosity got the better of me.

"Tell me about this band of yours and these gigs." I asked him, not even trying to hide the enthusiasm in my voice. "Do I get to come and listen?" I knew that I was failing to hide the hopefulness in my tone.

"Of course, I couldn't imagine you _not_ being there," he answered and a smile immediately spread across my face before he launched into all the details of how he got invited to join, the guys in the band, and the gigs.

:-:-:-:

The car ride home from the restaurant was filled with comfortable silence, the weight of our conversation still on both of our minds. I knew there was more to the story about his father than what he had said during his slight meltdown before dinner. That much was obvious. I hadn't wanted to push him too far, too soon, so I just let it go and trusted he would come to me when he was ready. Instead, I had simply sat and listened, unsure of what sort of advice to offer him. I didn't want to step on any toes, while also afraid of saying something unhelpful. But it seemed that what he had needed was someone to listen. I felt again the warmth that had spread through me when he told me that I was good for him, because more than anything in the world, I wanted to be good for Edward.

"Would you like to come in?" I asked him softly, wringing my hands together slightly as I felt the car come to a stop, the gears grinding together a little as Edward placed it into park. I knew Rosalie and Emmett weren't home. They were going out with some friends and wouldn't be home until much later.

I wasn't ready to part from Edward just yet.

"I'd love to," he replied, just before I felt his lips brush against my cheek, causing my skin to light on fire. My lips instantaneously spread into a wide smile as I heard Edward open his car door before it slammed shut. Quickly, Edward was around to my side of the vehicle, opening my door and helping me out by taking my hand firmly. He threaded our fingers together and tucked my arm close to his side as we strolled up the walkway to the front door.

Without unlocking our fingers, I led us towards the couch in the living room after entering the house. We sat down, our bodies so close the side of my bare thigh brushed against his pant leg, sending a shiver down my spine. His scent surrounded me, clouding my mind in the most delicious way. We'd never been in such close proximity to each other before. I most definitely was not complaining.

"Do you mind if I turn on the stereo?" Edward asked gently after a few moments of silence.

"Not at all. I have a few CD's in the six-disc changer so if you just turn that on we should have a nice variety."

"Okay," he replied, as he released my hand and I felt the cushions of the couch shifting as he got up and walked towards the stereo. I bit back a whimper from the loss of contact. Within seconds, music gently filtered through the speakers and Edward had retaken his place on the couch, sitting impossibly closer to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulder, tugging my side into his chest. I hummed lightly, enjoying the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around me again.

Leaning into his side, and resting my head against the back of the couch, I tentatively rested my hand against his thigh. He felt him exhale, but he didn't make any attempt to move my hand.

We sat there for a few moments in silence, letting the music surround us, reveling in the feeling of the innocent contact of our bodies.

"Thank you, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, his breath floating over my skin like a gentle caress. I bit down on my lip in an attempt to control myself.

"For what?" I asked, tilting my head to the side, as though I could see him and wanted to get a better look at him.

"For listening earlier. For being you," he told me gently, the heat of his breath washing over my face. I could feel him shift closer to me. "I'm going to kiss you now."

All I could do was nod, before his lips brushed against mine. I sighed into his mouth as our lips began to move together at a languid pace. With the arm that was wrapped around my shoulders, he tugged me closer to him, as if that was possible, and brought his other hand up to cup my cheek.

Feeling brave, I parted my lips slightly so I could run my tongue along his lower lip. He groaned into my mouth, immediately parting his lips, inviting my tongue into his mouth.

My body erupted, every nerve ending feeling as though it was on fire with the passion building inside of me as he brushed his tongue against mine. I couldn't control the contented sigh that escaped me as I reveled in the taste of him.

Ever so slowly, the hand that was cupping my cheek trailed down my neck, over my collarbone and down my side. I shivered and inadvertently giggled and I could feel one side of Edward's mouth lift up into a smile, his lips never parting from mine. His hand continued its path down the side of my body until it reached the bare skin of my thigh. Ever so gently, he trailed the back of his hand up and down the outside of my thigh, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake.

"So soft, he murmured, pulling away from the kiss for just a moment so we could both catch our breaths. He began to move his lips across my cheek, until it reached my jaw. His tongue made a trail across my jaw and down my neck, before he blew lightly on the dampened skin. An involuntary moan escaped my lips and I knew I was panting heavily, but I couldn't bring myself to care. It felt so good. His lips curved up into a smile against my neck as he kissed the soft skin right below my ear. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest and I was positive he could feel it.

Unsure of where to put my free hand, the one that wasn't wedged between our two bodies, I found his hand that was running soothing trails up and down my thigh, and ran my fingers gently over the bare skin of his arm, over the sleeves of his t-shirt and up to his hair. I tangled my fingers into the soft locks of his hair, scraping my nails against his scalp lightly.

"Fuck, that feels good," he half whispered and half moaned, before bringing his head back up to mine and reconnecting our lips. I found myself slightly surprised by my lack of fear of his honesty; instead his bluntness spurred me on, wanting to touch him more, to make him feel good. The knowledge that my touches made him feel good was like an unbelievable high.

Quickly, our kisses became more urgent and needful. His hand moved to palm my thigh with his thumb resting in between my legs. With each pass, his hand moved quicker up and down my leg, his thumb moving closer to where I felt a growing need for him.

The sensations shooting throughout my body were completely new and foreign. But I wasn't stupid. I knew what was happening to my body… and his. Instead of being frightened, like I always thought I would be, I was excited and surprisingly needy. I just wanted to _feel_ and _experience._ Edward was igniting a passion in me I thought I would never experience.

Gently, I felt him pull me closer while shifting our bodies so I could lie back on the couch and he was hovering over me, never separating our lips. My heart started pounding wildly in my chest, nerves erupting in my stomach.

As much as I loved the feeling of his body so close to mine, and was anxious to explore, I knew I didn't want to take this too fast. I was incredibly inexperienced and that made me nervous. I wasn't stupid. Edward was a twenty-two year old male. I knew he probably had oodles more experience than me. This was not something I wanted to think about, Edward with another girl, but I was being realistic.

I released his hair from my grip, placing my palm on his chest, pushing him away gently.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he whispered as he pulled away.

Taking a deep breath, I brought my hands up until I found his face, so I could cup both of his cheeks in my hands. Now more than ever I wish I could see his expression, see if he was frustrated by my stopping our little make-out session or if he was okay with it. "It was nice, I just… I don't know…," I told him, unsure of what to say to him, to tell him I needed to move slowly. I was fearful maybe that would scare him away, my inexperience would be too much for him to handle and he wouldn't want me anymore.

Without even realizing it, I'd taken my lower lip between my teeth, nibbling on it softly. Edward pulled us back up, so we were in a sitting position, his arm still wrapped around my shoulder and hugging me into his side. His fingers were suddenly on my lips, releasing the grip my teeth had on them.

"Its okay, Bella. We don't have to do anything. We can go as slowly as you need to," he told me sweetly. I couldn't help the shy smile that formed on my lips. "I just like kissing you so much," he whispered. "I got a little carried away. I mean, really, can you blame me? You're beautiful"

I blushed at his words as he leaned over and put a gentle kiss on my cheek. He really was too good to be true.

I smiled and nodded my head, unsure of what to really say. One thing was for sure though, I was finding myself falling for Edward Cullen, and falling hard.

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**A/N:** Reviews are always appreciated!

Also, I was interviewed by **Roselover24** from the **So You Think You Can Write** blog this past week! She says my interview will be up sometime this coming week. I'll post a link to it on my Twitter account and also my profile when it goes up. So a big thank you to her! She's positively wonderful and everyone should go check out her blog!


	11. Chapter 11 Two Is Better Than One

**A/N: **Thank you as usual to my fantastic betas littleclarestar and BellaMadonna. This wouldn't be the same without them.

**REMEMBER THIS STORY IS RATED ****M****. IF YOU ARENT OLD ENOUGH TO BUY PORN YOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS CHAPTER. Just sayin'. You've been warned. **

******Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward an adorable frat guy, Emmett a wee bit over-protective and Carlisle a bit of an asshole. 

* * *

**Chapter 11 - Two is Better than One**

I remember every look upon your face,  
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste  
You make it hard for breathing  
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away  
I think of you and everything's okay  
And finally now, believing

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you  
Well maybe two is better than one  
But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life  
And you've already got me coming undone  
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

- Boys Like Girls – Two is Better than One

**EPOV **

The first few weeks of the summer flew by in an indistinguishable blur of activity filled with studying, band practice, volunteering at the hospital and spending as much time with Bella as I possibly could.

I'd managed to finagle my schedule on Wednesday's so that I could volunteer at the hospital and still attend band practice, this way I didn't have to disappoint anyone or break any commitments. It seemed to appease my father and get him off my back…for now.

Time spent with Bella was wonderful. My limited moments of freedom away from the hospital or practicing with the band, were spent Bella. The majority of the time we lounged around her house or hung out in the park. We didn't spend a whole lot of time at my apartment, I think she was nervous about going there and being in a new environment, though she'd never verbally express her nervousness to me. I realized that in her home, she was able to navigate throughout the house without much dependence on another person or her cane. If she were to spend time at my apartment, she'd be reliant on me or her cane, neither of which she liked. If there was one thing I'd learned about Bella, she was fiercely independent. I loved that about her and it turned me the fuck on.

Hence my reasoning for not pressing the issue about spending time at my apartment, no matter how badly I wanted her there. At my apartment, we'd be alone and wouldn't have the constant watchful eye of her larger older brother. Emmett and I got along brilliantly now and I would say we were becoming close friends, but it didn't make it any less uncomfortable having him watch and scrutinize my every move.

Part of me wondered if that was why she was so hesitant to come to my apartment, because then we _would_ be alone – no interruptions. Our physical relationship had not advanced much past kissing and over the clothes groping.

I wasn't complaining and I absolutely didn't mind whacking-off at east two times a day to relieve some of the fucking tension that built up in my body, especially after one of our heavier kissing sessions.

I didn't want to pressure her in any way. I meant what I had told her a few weeks before, and continually reminded her, I would wait as long as she needed. I didn't want her doing anything with me she wasn't fully comfortable with. I knew she was inexperienced and that everything she did with me was something she was experiencing for the first time. I wanted every first time experience, no matter how small it may seem, to be memorable in a positive way.

The fucked-up possessive caveman inside me was excited by the fact that Bella was untouched and completely innocent. It was intoxicating to think I was the only one to have touched and kissed her sweet skin. I wanted to be the only one to _ever_ feel and taste her.

Over the last few weeks, intense emotions began to make an appearance; emotions I scarcely knew how to indentify.

Bella and I had yet to "label" our relationship. Up until recently, I hadn't felt it to be necessary. It wasn't until recently that I began having possessive thoughts and feelings. I wanted to make Bella mine. I didn't want her to be with anyone else, and I sure as hell didn't want anyone but her. She was it for me. I didn't care we'd only known each other for little over a month. I may not be able to pinpoint my intense emotions, but I knew what I wanted.

Slamming my MCAT study-guide closed, unable to focus on it any longer, I picked up my cell, dialing the familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, beautiful," I breathed into the phone, her sweet voice washing over me. I couldn't get enough. She was like a drug to me; I was like a heroin addict desperately searching for his next fix.

"Hi, Edward! I was just about to call you about tonight, but didn't want to bother you if you were studying."

"You never bother me. I would have gladly taken the distraction. My brain hurts," I whined, causing her to giggle.

"Well, I'll just have to kiss it and make it better for you."

"Oh well, if that's the case, I can think of a few other places that hurt as well…"

"Edward!" she scolded me, causing me to laugh and picture clearly in my mind the heat rising in her cheeks, coloring them a deep shade of pink. She was so cute, never knowing what to do with my crass comments towards her. I couldn't help it though.

"Anyway, I just wanted to make sure I had all the details correct for tonight. I didn't want to show up late for your big opening night!"

"It's not _my _big night. I'm in a band," I reminded her, as I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm, while secretly basking in the attention. It was nice to finally have someone other than my sister show some enthusiasm for my music.

"Psh-posh. It is _your_ night too. I'm so excited to hear you play," she told me, the exuberance never waning from her voice. I could see her beautiful smile so clearly in my mind; it was as though she was actually sitting across from me.

"Thank you, you don't know what that means to me," I whispered. It was true. She couldn't possibly fathom how much it meant to me, how much I _needed_ her to be excited about this.

Tonight was my first gig with the guys. We had practice for a few weeks, wanting to make sure everything clicked between us and that I became acclimated to the group. It took no time at all. Ben, Eric and Garrett were a great group of guys and were fast becoming real friends. It was nice to hang out with some guys outside of the fraternity for a change.

Truthfully, I'd hardly spent any time with the guys in the fraternity, with the exception of Emmett, since meeting Bella. I wasn't sure if it was coincidental or if the two were correlated, but I didn't care. I was over the antics of the fraternity. I was teetering on the edge of whether or not I would be continuing with them once school started back up again, but decided I'd already been with them for three years; I should probably stick it out. Allegedly, connections lasting a lifetime were to be made between fraternity brothers.

I'd invited Bella, Emmett and Rosalie to come to the gig tonight. Actually, I'd invited Bella, and _she_ invited Emmett and Rosalie. She also encouraged me to invite Alice. Truthfully, I think Bella was just as anxious to meet Alice, as Alice was to meet her. So of course, once I invited Alice it was assumed Jasper would be coming as well.

I didn't mind that everyone was coming, not really. I'd only be focusing on one beautiful face tonight anyway.

"So Rosalie, Emmett and I will come around eight, okay?" Bella asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, that's perfect. Alice and Jasper are arriving about the same time, so I can introduce all of you."

"Sounds perfect! I'll see you then," she answered. "Bye!"

"Bye, beautiful,"

I hung up, deciding to grab a quick bite and a nap before leaving for the gig.

:-:-:-:

The rest of the afternoon flew by quickly, and before I knew it I was at the bar for sound check with the guys and waiting around for Bella and everyone else to arrive.

I'd been having a conversation with Ben, our lead singer, for quite a while when I caught a glimpse of chocolate brown hair and creamy skin out of the corner of my eye. The moment I saw her, nothing else mattered. I made a vague excuse to Ben and headed quickly over to Bella, calling her name as I went.

She looked beautiful, as usual. I was pleasantly surprised to see she had left her sunglasses at home. I didn't like that she hid behind them. I loved seeing her beautiful brown eyes. Her hair was down, flowing softly over her shoulders. She didn't wear her hair down often, and I wanted nothing more than to bury my hands in it, inhaling the delicious scent of her shampoo as I kissed her neck and devoured her collarbone.

Instantly she gravitated towards me, lifting her hands up towards my face. Reaching out, I gently grabbed a hold of her wrists, guiding her hands and placing them on my cheeks without releasing my grasp on her arms. It was her usual greeting now, since she had first explored every inch of the skin on my face. She'd once confessed that she liked feeling the corners of my lips as they turned up into a smile, letting her know just how happy I was to see her. I definitely didn't mind having her hands on me, even if it was just on my face. Every touch from her ignited something deep inside me. I couldn't get enough.

She smiled widely at me, rubbing soft circles with her thumbs across my jaw. Tracing the back of my hands up and down her the soft skin of her arms, I leaned down to brush my lips against hers in a gentle kiss.

"Oh God, I'm gonna vomit."

"Watch the hands buddy!"

I broke away from our kiss reluctantly and turned towards the teasing voices. "Good evening, Rosalie. Emmett."

Rosalie smiled, waving her fingers at me, as I rolled my eyes at her. Emmett just pretended to glare at me, but a teasing smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

Releasing my hold on Bella's arms, she brought them down to her sides and I took a hold of her hand, interlacing our fingers.

After a few short minutes of chatting with Bella, Rosalie and Emmett, I was suddenly attacked by a tiny ball of energy, otherwise known as my sister, Alice.

She practically threw herself at me in a hug, forcing me to release my grip on Bella's hand, so I could balance myself and stop us from toppling to the ground. Bella shrieked at my sudden movements, obviously not expecting me to back away so quickly. She was holding her hand above her heart, obviously startled and tense.

Once I righted myself, I quickly grabbed Bella's hand again, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "It's okay, baby. It's just my sister. She feels the need to attack me every time she sees me."

Leaning over to Bella, I kissed her quickly on the neck, her body instantly relaxing.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry, I didn't even think…," Alice rambled, pulling away from our hug, her hands flying over her mouth. I shook my head.

"It's fine, Alice," I told her reassuringly, knowing it was.

"You must be Alice," Bella stated, tilting her body in the direction of our voices. She smiled, holding her hand out for Alice to shake. Alice glanced at me out of the corner of her eye before smiling widely.

She took a hold of Bella's hand gently, shaking it slightly before pulling Bella into a hug. "Oh my god, Edward wasn't kidding, you're beautiful. I'm so excited to finally meet you."

"Alice…," I warned, pinching the bridge of my nose, my nostrils flaring as I tried to ease my irritation.

"Thank you. It's nice to finally meet you as well," Bella politely told my sister, hugging her back, without releasing our interlocked hands. I felt my irritation easing and I couldn't help but smile watching my sister and Bella interact; two of the most important people in my life.

Another round of introductions were made between Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, before I lead them to the table I had reserved for them. I'd wanted Bella close to the stage, so I took the liberty of asking Ben to talk to the manager about getting me a reserved sign for their table.

All too soon it was time for me to leave Bella's side and head up on stage to start our performance. I gave her a parting kiss before jumping up on stage, and picking up my guitar.

A fair amount of people had shown up, the guys already having a decent size fan base.

A small crowd began to gather around the stage as the beginning notes of the song began filtering throughout the small bar. Ben spoke into the microphone, but I didn't hear anything he was saying, I was only focused on two things.

Bella and my guitar.

I watched her as I played, the way her body swayed back and forth to the music as she sat. Her eyes were closed and she had a look of intense concentration on her face, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

I watched as Rosalie leaned over, whispering something in her ear causing Bella to shake her head and, even from this distance, I could see that gorgeous blush spread across her cheeks.

She was exquisite.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement at the table next to Bella. There were a group of guys sitting there and were openly ogling her.

_My_ Bella.

I watched them through squinted eyes, as they laughed and gestured towards her table. I gripped my guitar, trying to concentrate on not fucking up the song.

_Why were they laughing?_

_Were they going to try hitting on her? _

_Did they notice her cane? Did they realize she was blind and were they making fun of her? _

My jaw clenched as my teeth grinded together as I tried to keep my anger at bay, realizing that running of the stage and pummeling these assholes was not an option at this moment.

_Mine_.

She was mine.

I sighed with relief as I watched the group of guys get up and head to a different part of the bar.

The rest of our set flew buy in a blur. I barely registered Ben speaking into the mic, telling everyone thank you and to have a great a night; signaling the end of our show.

We only played a few songs, our set list short, as I was still learning their music. It was still early in the evening and the bar was packed, so the manager had also hired a DJ to make up for our short set list. Bodies were congregating everywhere, and all I could think about was getting back to Bella as quickly as possible. I knew she was with five of our friends, one of which was her gigantic big brother, but I couldn't help the fire in me that was rising quickly, that need to protect her from the judgmental stares of others.

Once all the equipment was packed up, I practically sprinted through the crowded dance floor towards the table where Bella sat with our friends and family.

When I approached the table, I sat down next to Bella, leaning over before kissing her softly.

"I'm sorry. I'm fucking disgusting and sweaty," I told her after pulling away quickly and noticing the frown that had formed on her lips. I took her hand in mine, simply just needing to touch her. I rested our intertwined hands on my upper thigh, never taking my eyes from her beautiful face.

"I don't mind," she whispered, shrugging and giving me a smile.

"Have you been drinking?" I asked her, leaning forward so my nose was right inline with her mouth, inhaling slightly. I'd kissed her lips so quickly before it took a moment for me to register the different taste of her lips.

"I am of legal age," she answered, laughing and shaking her head.

"I know. I just didn't realize you drank."

"I don't…usually. But tonight was a special occasion."

"Hmm," I murmured, as I shifted my head upwards slightly, unable to concentrate on what it was she was saying exactly; distracted by the scent of alcohol mixed with the scent of _her. _I pressed my lips to hers again, this time savoring the taste of the alcohol on her lips. I slipped my tongue out of my mouth, running it along her bottom lip until her lips parted and she granted me access. I moaned, tasting the cranberries and vodka on her tongue. Tasting alcohol on her mouth was a surprisingly huge turn on, and I could feel my body beginning to react.

"Delicious," I whispered, pulling back. Her cheeks flamed the adorable shade of red I loved.

"Oh for the love of God, get a room," Alice groaned, breaking me out of my Bella-induced trance.

"Gladly," I answered, smirking at Alice, causing Bella to pinch my arm while her blush spread from her cheeks, down her neck.

"There will be no getting a room of any kind with my baby sister," Emmett yelled, his loud voice easily carrying over the loud music to our side of the table. He leaned back in his chair while shooting daggers at me through his eyes.

We spent the next half hour just sitting around and shooting the shit, before Rosalie began yawning and deciding it was probably time for them to head out. Alice and Jasper agreed that it was getting late for them as well.

"You ready, Bells?" Emmett asked her, standing up from his chair, stretching his arms high above his head.

"Um, Edward can take me home," she replied shyly, nibbling on her lower lip. Emmett looked back and forth between Bella and me suspiciously.

"Yeah, that's fine," I agreed, slanting a quick look at her while nodding my head.

Emmett groaned, about to protest, but Rosalie punched him in the side and mumbled something in his ear. Instead, he chose to shoot warning daggers at me while rubbing his side with his hand. I just shrugged my shoulders at him and smiled, hoping to put him at ease.

Bella and I said our goodbyes to everyone before heading to my car. I opened the door for her, because being gentlemanly for my girl would never get fucking old.

Once we were both buckled in, I started the car and turned towards Bella.

"So Ms. 'Edward-can-take-me-home', did you have something planned for us?" I asked her teasingly. Her cheeks burned about three shades of red and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I just wasn't tired and I wanted to spend more time with you. You can just take me home if you're tired and don't want to-"

"I want to spend time with you," I interrupted, hurrying to reassure her that there was nothing else I'd rather do right now than be with her.

"Do you mind if we go back to my apartment? I feel kind of disgusting and would like a shower?"

"That's fine," she told me nodding her head. I arched an eyebrow at her, surprised by her readiness to agree to go to my apartment. We'd only been there once before, and only for a short time. Without another word, I pulled my car out of the parking lot and headed in the direction of my apartment.

Ten minutes later we parked outside my building and headed up to my second floor apartment. I gently guided her up the stairs with a steady hand on her elbow. After opening the door, I led her over to the couch and turned on the stereo, so she wouldn't have to sit in completely silence. With a swift kiss on the lips, I told her I needed a quick shower before leaving her to enjoy the music.

True to my word, I was in an out of the shower in less than ten minutes. After toweling off, I hung my towel back on the rack and headed into my bedroom – deciding it didn't matter if I had clothes on or not. It wasn't as though Bella was going to be able to see my nude walk from my bathroom to my bed room. I had no problems walking around my apartment naked anyway. If I was being honest, I probably would have done it even if Bella _could've_ seen me. I wasn't shy when it came to my appearance.

Pulling a white-tee, boxers and sweatpants out of my closet, I quickly slipped them on and headed into the main living area.

I found Bella sprawled out on the couch, her arms stretched out above her head and eyes closed. Her shirt had risen up slightly, exposing a small sliver of pale skin. I licked my lips, feeling my body react as I took in the soft curves of her clothing-covered body. I couldn't help but imagine what she would look like _without _the clothes.

As I stepped closer to her, I noticed her even breathing. She looked so peaceful and angelic while she slept. I watched her for a few moments, wanting to permeate the image into my brain. I wanted to watch her sleep always. My heart suddenly swelled at the possibility of watching Bella sleep all night and someday waking up next to her in the morning.

Slowly, I crept closer towards the couch. When my knees hit the edge, I gently climbed onto the couch so I was straddling her legs. I positioned my hands so they were on either side of her head. She shifted slightly, tilting her head to the side; giving me complete access to the curve of her neck.

Gently, I ran the edge of my nose from her collarbone up to her ear, letting her sweet scent assault my nostrils. A whimper escaped her lips as I kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin right below her ear.

I smiled as she shifted below me, beginning to wake up from her short nap. I smiled as she reached her arms up, grasping my face in between her hands. Tilting my head downward, I brushed my lips against hers.

"Not tired, huh?" I teased, smiling against her lips.

"Maybe just a little," she whispered, intertwining her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. Lazily, she began dragging her nails along my scalp, just how I liked it.

I groaned as I kissed a trail from her lips to her ear. "I think I know a few ways to wake you up."

"Oh yeah, what might those be?" she whispered, surprising me by playing along. I jerked my head up to look at her, her cheeks rosy and she was biting down her lower lip. I bit back the guttural moan that threatened to rip through my chest, not wanting to frighten her. But the way she laid there, exuding sex-appeal and innocence mixed together, I was going to have a hard time controlling myself.

"Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are," I whispered in her ear, as I ran one of my hands up and down her side. She shook her head back and forth, whimpering as my hand slipped under her shirt and I began trailing my fingers over the soft skin of her stomach.

I brought my head back to hover over her face, leaning down and kissing her lips sweetly. Almost instantly, her mouth opened, inviting my tongue in. Our lips moved rapidly together, neither of us being able to get enough of the other.

My hands continued their exploration under her shirt, slowly moving up to cup one of her cotton-covered breasts. She whimpered, but didn't break the kiss. I took this as a signal that it was okay to continue.

Hesitantly, I began kneading her breast with my palm, unsure of her reaction. I was pleasantly surprised by the moan that escaped her lips and the arch of her back up off the couch.

"Bella," I whispered, "I want to make you feel good. Can I do that for you? Make you feel good?"

Worrying at her bottom lip, she hesitantly nodded.

"Do you trust me?" I asked her, running my fingers through her hair gently. She nodded. "I need you to tell me you trust me."

"I trust you," she answered, her voice barely above a whisper. I smiled, capturing her lips in mine again.

Pulling away, I sat back on my heels as I brought my hands down to the waist of her jeans. Ever so slowly, I eased the zipper down, never taking my eyes off her face; wanting to make sure she was ok. Her eyes were closed and she looked a little nervous but I didn't see any sign that she wasn't okay with what I was doing.

I climbed off the couch for a quick moment, just enough time to gently slide her jeans down her legs and take in the image of her spread out across my couch, her shirt pushed up just underneath her breasts and in nothing but a pair of black cotton panties. I tossed her pants unceremoniously onto the floor before climbing back onto the couch so I was hovering over her once again. Her chest was rising and falling quickly, the air leaving her lungs in frenzied breaths.

"Are you ok?"

She nodded her head, giving me a smile while still keeping her eyes closed.

"You're so fucking beautiful."

I wanted to reassure her, realizing just how vulnerable she was probably feeling at this moment in nothing but her t-shirt and panties. I couldn't quite wrap my mind around how exposed she probably felt, knowing I was taking in every inch of her bare skin, and she would never be able to do the same to me.

I knew she was putting all of her trust in me and I was taking that trust very seriously.

I didn't want to do anything that would make her feel uncomfortable.

"If anything gets to be too much, or you are uncomfortable, please tell me," I pleaded with her.

"I'm okay, Edward," she assured me, her voice steady. "I want you, please. I want you to touch me."

_Holy... Fucking... Shit_.

Taking a deep breath, and attempting to clear my mind of all my caveman-like thoughts, I focused back on Bella.

Gently, I nudged her legs apart so I could settle myself between them, being careful not to rub my throbbing dick against her, no matter how badly I wanted to. This wasn't about me right now, this was about her.

Angling my head downwards, I peppered gentle kisses all over her face before finally making my way to her lips. I tried to show her how much I cared for her through my touches, and throwing all of my passion for her into our kisses, hoping she understood.

As our lips moved at a slow and languid pace against each other, my fingers began their exploration of the bare skin of her upper thigh. I gently trailed my fingers along her inner thigh, along the edge of her panties. Slowly and hesitantly, I drew the back of my index finger across her cotton covered pussy, feeling the dampness that had already gathered there, proving to me that she really _did_ want me to touch her. My breathing hitched and I bit back yet another groan. A whimper immediately found its way out of her mouth and pressed against my lips.

My finger continued its path across to her other thigh, caressing the smooth skin, and continued up to her abdomen, teasing the skin just below the waist band of her panties.

Reluctantly pulling my lips away from hers, I brought my head up so it was just hovering over hers by mere inches; I wanted to watch her reactions as my fingers provided her with a new, and hopefully pleasurable, sensation. I gently slipped my hand inside her underwear, trailing my fingers along her slick heat. She yelped, her eyebrows burrowing together as she bit down on her lower lip. Her hips jerked up off the couch, brushing against my erection accidently. I growled at the unexpected, but welcome, sensation.

Her hands dragged away from the hair at the nape of my neck, until she was cupping my cheeks. Slowly, her fingers began exploring my face, trailing softly along the rough stubble of my jaw before teasing my lower lip with her thumb. Instinctually, my tongue jetted out to lick the tip of her thumbs, tasting the sweet-salty taste of her skin. She let out a gasp, but continued her exploration.

Fighting back the urge to hump her leg, like a dog in heat, I continued running my finger up and down her, teasing her lightly as I went. This evoked a new round of whimpers; I couldn't help but smile as I listened to them and watched the movement of the muscles in her face as they contorted at the new found pleasure. Those sweet sounds were the second most beautiful noises she's ever emitted; second to only her laughter.

Deciding I needed to taste her skin again, I dipped my head down to her neck, kissing and sucking my way down to her exposed collarbone. The quick movement of my head downward caused her fingers to trail upward over my forehead and through my damp hair; sending intense jolts of pleasure rocketing down my spine like waves.

Gently, I made slow circles with my middle finger at her entrance, testing the water, wanting to make sure I wasn't about to cross a line and make her feel uncomfortable. She made no objections, instead her grip on my hair tightened and I took that as an indicator it was okay to continue with my exploration of her body.

Slowly, I dipped my finger into her at the same time I began circling her clit with my thumb. She gasped loudly, her body tensing briefly at the sudden intrusion. I stilled my hand, giving her a moment to adjust. I brought my lips back down to hers, moving them slowly and sweetly, pouring all the emotion I felt for her into the kiss. The tension in her legs dissipated as she let out a sigh and her body shuddered lightly beneath me as I slowly began to move my hand again.

"Does that feel good?" I asked, whispering in her ear, my lips stretching into a smug smile, already knowing the answer. She nodded her head, her fingers digging further into my hair and tugging.

Slipping in another finger, I slowly began pumping them in and out of her while simultaneously rubbing her clit with my thumb. She gasped and shuddered, her legs trembling lightly at my sides.

"Is this okay?" I asked gently, hoping to god I hadn't moved too quickly.

She simply nodded her head, her cheek brushing against mine lightly.

I couldn't help groaning, and imagining what it would be like to have a _different_ part of my anatomy pushed deeply inside her. Perhaps it was slightly presumptuous of me to think that would ever happen, but I couldn't help but be hopeful. I _needed_ her in any and every way she would have me. I wanted to claim her as mine; her heart, body, mind and soul. She was quickly becoming my everything.

Suddenly, I felt her body begin to tremble and instinctually causing my head to jerk up away from her neck so I could look at her face, wanting to see her expression as she fell apart blissfully at my hand. Her eyes were squeezed closed tightly, her mouth parted slightly as her hips jerked up off the couch. Soft moans filtered out of her lips.

The most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

I pulled my hand out of her underwear, her body quivering from the aftershocks of her orgasm.

I kissed her lips gently, before climbing out from between her legs and shifting our bodies so she was settled against my side as I squeezed in between her and the back of the couch. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her warm little body into my side.

We laid in silence for a while, time ceasing to exist. She trailed her fingers absently along my chest, running paths from my collarbone to my bellybutton.

"Edward?" she asked, so quietly I could barely hear her.

"Hmm?" I hummed in response, my eyelids fluttering closed, exhaustion from the week beginning to settle in.

"Do you want me to… ya know… I can… if you want…," she stuttered and I opened my eyes, tilting my head so I could peer down at her face, Most of it was buried into my side, but I could see a deep shade of crimson spread over the apple of her cheek. I was momentarily confused as to why she was embarrassed and what she was asking me, and then it suddenly dawned on me.

"No."

"No?" she questioned, a mixture of confusion and hurt in the tone of her voice.

"I mean yes… yes I do… but not now. Tonight is about you and me showing you how special I think you are," I murmured, bringing one of my hands to rest under her chin, tilting her face up towards mine. I brushed my lips against hers in a chaste kiss; her tiny hands gripping my t-shirt tightly.

"Oh," she whispered, smiling.

We laid there for another few minutes, before I finally spoke again.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I want you to be mine… I mean… fuck…," I groaned, shaking my head and running my free hand through my hair. That was not how I wanted it to come out. "Fuck, I'm sorry. That makes me sound like a possessive asshole… that's not what I meant…I want you to be mine…and I want to be yours…and fuck… this isn't how I pictured this conversation…"

"I know. I understand," she answered, quiet giggles escaping her lips. "I already am."

"You already are what?"

"I'm already yours."

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you to all the new readers I have! *wave* Thanks for stopping by. I'd love to hear from you! So a few things have happened since we last chatted!

Sue from So You Think You Can Write interviewed me about this story. Link to the interview is on my profile.

I am now a guest blogger on SYTYCW! I reviewed an amazing story; Loner by Nilla. She just started posting on FFn but has it completely posted on Twilighted. It's in my faves on my ffn profile. READ IT! You can find my review on www. sytycw. com (remove the spaces). You can also find the link to it posted on Twilighted there.

My e-bestie Silver Sniper of Night made me a thread over on Twilighted! Stop by and say hi! Link on my profile.

ReachingAsIFall made me a BEAUTIFUL banner. She's amazing! Link on my profile.

As usual, reviews are appreciated!


	12. Chapter 12 Baby Steps

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward adorably sweet, Emmett a little overprotective and Carlisle a bit of an asshole.

* * *

**Chapter 12 – Baby Steps**

You're the direction I follow to get home  
When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go  
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around  
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees  
'Cause you have that effect on me, you do

Everything you say  
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight  
But I'm okay  
And I can't think of anybody else  
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hands  
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal a heart  
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

- _Six Months_ – Hey Monday

**BPOV **

Leaning back in the stiff and uncomfortable bar chair, I kept my eyes closed, attempting to block out the rhythmic pounding of the drums that pumped out of the speakers and reverberated around the room, before coming to settle somewhere deep in my chest. Instead I wanted to focus only on the sounds coming from Edward's guitar.

Sucking in a deep breath, I blocked everything else in the room out; the loud yelling of the bar patrons, the putrid scent of smoke that saturated the room like a thick cloud, the sound of beer bottles clanking together or against the solid wood tables, legs of chairs scratching against the hardwood floors as well as the stomping of feet against the floor as the patrons danced along with the beat of the music.

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I focused on Edward's playing. The soft guitar riffs echoed throughout the spacious room and I could hear him plucking the strings with a precision that could only be acquired with years of relentless practice. I allowed the background noise to drown out, letting the guitar music wrap around me as I tried to visualize what he looked like up there. I could picture in my head his left hand on the neck of the guitar; see with my mind's eye his slender fingers moving quickly as they provided a strong harmony. His right hand strummed steadily, more quickly than I thought possible. The tempo was quicker but the words were slow, and Edward took his time pronouncing each and every one of them, the meaning behind them clear. The dichotomy between the two showcased the obvious talent the band had, and I'd never felt more proud of him.

I felt Rosalie shift next to me, her breath fanning against my ear as she whispered to me, "He can't keep his eyes off you."

I felt my cheeks grow hot. I had never wished so hard for my sight in the last eighteen years of my life. I wanted nothing more than to see what he looked like up there on stage, in his element, as he poured his heart and soul into the music.

The band's set ended more quickly than I would have liked, but that only meant that Edward would be back with me sooner, so I couldn't really feel _that_ disappointed.

After Edward made his way back to our group, the six of us hung out and chatted for a while. It was nice being out the way we were; joking and laughing like we'd all been friends for years. I was so happy to have finally met Edward's sister, Alice. He spoke about her constantly and it was nice to finally put a voice to a name. She came across as bold and confident, pulling me into a hug the moment she met me. She was tiny in stature, a few inches shorter than me. I welcomed the sudden intrusion of personal space though, surprising myself, and I was sure Edward as well. I wasn't ordinarily comfortable with such close physical contact with someone I hardly knew; but Alice was, for some reason, different. She was welcoming and didn't shy away from my blindness like most people did. She smelt of peaches and sunshine, fitting of her bubbly personality. Alice was very sweet, intelligent and full of energy. She hardly ever stopped talking, but I enjoyed listening to her stories. Especially those she shared about Edward.

It wasn't long before everyone started yawning and we decided to go. I was exhausted, but wanted nothing more than to spend more time with Edward. Alone.

In a sudden bout of boldness, I told my brother that Edward would take me home, feeling confident Edward wouldn't object to this. I could tell by Emmett's tone and the whispering between him and Rosalie that Emmett was not too thrilled about it, but he couldn't stop me from living my life. He couldn't interfere. This was part of our deal.

With parting hugs and promises of getting together again soon, Edward and I made our way to his car. On the way, he asked if I minded going back to his apartment so he could shower. I told him it was fine, despite my anxiety over being completely alone with him. I trusted Edward. I really and truly did. But I couldn't seem to keep the anxiety at bay each time we were alone. Our physical relationship had been heating up, something I thoroughly enjoyed but which also terrified me beyond belief. I was so incredibly inexperienced and I was beyond worried that my lack of experience would scare Edward away. I couldn't help feeling deep down that he wouldn't want to put up with the slow pace at which I set our relationship.

With much trepidation, I knew I was ready to move forward just a little bit more. I just didn't know how to let Edward know that.

Once we arrived at his apartment, he guided me up the stairs and led me to his couch. He put some music on for me before hopping in the shower.

The gentle music floating from the stereo soothed the nerves and anxiety that I felt at being alone in Edward's apartment with him. It was so silly that I was nervous about being alone with him now, when we were alone quite often. This time just felt different. I could feel it.

I settled back into the soft cushions on the couch, sighing with contentment. It wasn't long before my eye-lids became heavy and I shifted onto my back and stretched out. Inhaling deeply, I reveled in the scent of Edward mixed with the faint smell of leather, wrapping around me like a blanket, warming me from the inside out, relaxing my body. I felt myself slowly drift to unconsciousness.

An unidentifiable time later, I felt myself slowly being pulled out of my dreams, sweet lime and cedar filling my nostrils once again as I inhaled and shifted my body. A soft tickling along my neck caused a sigh to escape from my lips. Instinctively, I reached my hands up, touching in the flesh, the man that had filled my dreams just moments before.

Edward was hovering over me, my hands positioned on either side of his face. I loved the combination of the two textures against my hands; softness of skin and roughness of his day old stubble.

His lips brushed against mine gently. He tasted like mint.

"Not tired, huh?" he teased, his lips only far enough away from mine so that he could speak.

"Maybe just a little," I whispered, intertwining my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. Slowly, I dragged my nails along his scalp, just how I knew he liked it as I felt his lips move across my cheek to my ear. His hair was still damp from the shower, the silky strands gliding easily through my fingers.

A rumble moved through his chest and reverberated onto my neck as he kissed his way up to my ear. "I think I know a few ways to wake you up."

"Oh yeah, what might those be?" I whispered back, my heart pounding loudly as it tried to break free from the confined space of my chest cavity. Clearly I was speaking before thinking now.

_Where is this boldness coming from, Bella? What are you doing?_

Another groan escaped from his mouth, and I was surprised by how much I liked it and how… sexy it was. My body felt hot and butterflies filled my stomach as I wished to do again whatever it was that caused him to utter that sound.

"Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are," he whispered in my ear, his voice lowering an octave and taking on a more gritty texture. His breath tickled at the tiny hairs on my neck, causing the most fantastic tingling sensation to shoot down my spine. I shook my head back and forth in answer to his question. Me? Sexy? I was just plain. I knew I was. I didn't wear make-up or fancy clothes. My instinct was to be skeptical of his words, but the rawness of his tone was so sincere that I couldn't help but hope to believe him.

His lips pressed to mine and I eagerly invited his tongue into my mouth. Kissing Edward was like nothing else I'd ever experienced. I loved the way his lips brushed against mine, softly and passionately. I loved the way he tasted and his tongue felt as it moved with mine. I felt the hotness of his fingers against the skin at my midriff, as he let his hand drift under the hem of my shirt. When his hand closed around my breast, my heart nearly stopped and I couldn't help the whimpering sound that escaped my throat. It felt so good. I knew right then that if I had to choose only one thing to do for the rest of my existence, it would be kissing Edward like this.

Time ceased to exist as we kissed and he caressed my skin. Entirely too soon, Edward pulled away. ""Bella," he whispered, "I want to make you feel good. Can I do that for you? Make you feel good?"

I don't know how it was possible, but my heart started pounding even harder against my chest and echoing loudly in my ears as the meaning of his words resonated in my brain. This was it; the next step. I took a deep breath, attempting to control my nervousness. I bit down on my lower lip and nodded slowly. I wanted this. God I wanted this. I was ready for this.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, running his fingers through my hair gently. His fingertips against my scalp felt incredible. I wanted to feel his hands all over me. I nodded. "I need you to tell me you trust me."

"I trust you," I answered, my voice barely above a whisper. He leaned down to kiss me again; I could feel his smile against my lips.

The couch shifted as Edward pulled away from me; my body and lips instantly missing the warmth of his body hovering above mine. My hands reached out for him, wanting to know what he was doing and thinking. Before I could find his hands, they were at the waist of my jeans, unbuttoning them. I gasped, so softly he probably didn't even notice, and squeezed my eyes closed tightly, as the sound of him pulling the zipper down seemed to echo throughout the room.

The cushions shifted again and Edward was no longer on the couch. Quickly, he tugged my pants down, exposing the bare skin of my legs to him. This was the most exposed I'd been in front of anyone, other than Rosalie, since I was a child. I couldn't help but be self-conscious. I fought back the urge to reach down and try to cover up my legs and panties with my arms. What did he see when he looked at me? Did I measure up to the other girls he had undoubtedly been with before?

_Stop it Bella! Now is no the time to think about Edward with other girls. _

Definitely not the time to be thinking about Edward's past relationships or flings or whatever it was he did. I'd been thinking about that a lot more lately, realizing that I was not the only person he'd ever been with. I wasn't stupid. He was twenty-three years old. We hadn't talked about his past relationships yet. I'd hinted at it in the past, and Edward either hadn't picked up on it or he chose to completely ignore it. I think it was actually the latter. I knew we couldn't avoid it forever. I would have to stop being a chicken and just ask him.

I was brought back to the moment when Edward climbed back onto the couch and was hovering above me once again.

"Are you okay?" he asked me gently and I suddenly noticed that I was breathing pretty hard, practically panting. Oh God. I hope I didn't pass out.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he told me, once again doing exactly what I needed him to do, easing my insecurities with just a few simple words. I smiled, practically melting at his sincerity.

"If anything gets to be too much, or you are uncomfortable, please tell me." He was all but begging me. My heart swelled and a foreign emotion rose up in my chest, getting caught in my throat. I nodded, swallowing hard and smiling.

"I'm okay, Edward," I assured him. I hoped my voice didn't sounds as shaky to him as it did to my own ears. I wanted to portray confidence on the outside, even if I was terrified on the inside. I knew he'd stop immediately if he thought I was at all uncomfortable. "I want you, please. I want you to touch me."

With gentle kisses over my face and lips, Edward slowly chased all the butterflies away and I began to relax, just enjoying the feeling of his hands all over my skin. My heart still hammered away in my chest, but I'm not sure there was anything that could be done about that.

_Nothing_ in my life had ever felt as good as Edwards fingers gliding along my heated skin. _Nothing!_

His touches altered between soft and firm. Before long, my body was practically screaming for him to touch me, to touch me in the most intimate way. I wanted him so badly it almost hurt. By the time he finally touched me in the most private way, I thought I might explode. The flashes of pleasure that shot throughout my body were incredible.

I couldn't control the sounds that escaped my lips. I didn't even have the frame of mind to be embarrassed about them. My body was no longer mine. I was giving it to Edward. He knew my body better than I did. It was impossible to describe and comprehend the intensity of the moment. My brain and body were on sensory overload.

The pleasure building up in my abdomen coiled until it finally snapped and unraveled. My body shuddered and quaked. My breathing was rapid as I began to come down from the most unbelievable high.

My limbs felt like jelly. The most relaxing calm settled over me as Edward shifted our bodies so we were both lying on the couch and cuddled close together. I breathed in his scent, smiling against his chest.

The relaxed feeling fled my body all too quickly when I suddenly became very aware of a little… situation… Edward was in. Did he want me to reciprocate? _Could_ I even reciprocate? I had no clue what to do.

"Edward?" I asked, my voice coming out much quieter than I anticipated. I wasn't even sure he heard me until he muttered quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you want me to… ya know… I can… if you want…," I stuttered out. I felt my face grow hot from embarrassment. God, why couldn't I just get the damn question out? _Be mature Bella._ I attempted to hide my face by turning it even more into his chest, burying my nose into his shirt.

"No."

"No?" I questioned. He didn't want me to touch him? Had he realized I wouldn't know what to do even if he said yes? I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

"I mean yes… yes I do… but not now. Tonight is about you and me showing you how special I think you are," he told me and I immediately felt stupid for thinking he _wouldn't_ want me to touch him. His fingers found their way under my chin so he could tilt my face up to his and kissed my lips sweetly.

-:-:-:-

I, Isabella Swan, had a boyfriend.

It took all the energy I had in my body to control my natural instinct to squeal out loud like a crazy person as that phrase registered in my brain.

I knew that I didn't want anyone else but Edward, and I'd had a pretty good hunch that he felt the same way but it was nice to finally have it confirmed. I couldn't help but smile when I thought about how nervous he seemed to be when he told me he wanted me to be his. It did seem a little possessive and crazy the way he phrased it, but I knew what he meant. I found it rather sweet.

Edward and I had cuddled on the couch for a while, both of us falling asleep briefly before he drove me home. I could tell he really wanted me to stay the night with him, but I wasn't quite ready for that. I didn't know why, but I knew part of it had to do with my brother. I didn't know what he would think about it. I was mad at myself for even considering Emmett in a situation that had nothing to do with him, but he was still my brother and one of the most important people in my life and I didn't want to cause him any unnecessary stress by not coming home. I would have to speak with Rosalie before I started staying the night at Edward's so she could break the news to Emmett. He would need some kind of warning so he could be prepared. I knew he could tell that things between Edward and me had become more serious and that he knew _things_ were happening, but I didn't want to flaunt it in his face.

"Hello, earth to Bella."

I shook my head, Rosalie's voice bringing me out of my Edward induced haze. "Sorry Rose, what did you say?"

"Geesh Bella, you've been kind of a space cadet since last night. You seem awfully _relaxed_. Did _something_ happen last night?" Her tone was teasing and I let out a gasp.

"Rose!"

"Well, I'm just saying you seem pretty happy and content this morning, sorta how I feel after-,"

"Ew Rose. Stop right there. It is my brother you're dating, remember?" I scrunched up my nose and shook my head. Rosalie's boisterous laugh echoed around our small kitchen.

"I'm just saying…"

"Last night was… amazing," I admitted, smiling and blushing a little at the memory. I didn't really want to go into details with Rosalie. No matter how much I loved her and trusted her, this was something private that I wanted to keep between Edward and me. "We're 'official' now." I had to give her at least something. It sounded rather cheesy, but it was the only way I knew how to describe it.

Rosalie clapped her hands together and let out squeal. I covered my ears with my hands, the sharp intensity of her shriek piercing straight through my ear drums.

"Sorry," she mumbled, momentarily forgetting my oversensitive hearing, "I'm so excited for you Bella. Edward is great. He's so good for you. He really cares about you. Everyone can see it in the way he looks at you."

"I really care about him too," I replied, my smile so wide I thought my face would crack.

"I think Bella is in _luuuve_," Rosalie sang and I nodded my head, not even attempting to deny it. I was pretty positive she was right. Even though I'd never been in love before, I knew the tidal wave of emotions that had devoured me over the last few weeks could only mean one thing: I was in love with Edward Cullen.

He consumed my thoughts every moment I was away from him. It didn't matter how long we were apart; days, hours, minutes, my body _craved_ and _longed_ for him. It literally hurt to be away from him. I ached for his touch, his kiss, the sound of his voice and to hear the strong vibrato of his laughter. Never in my twenty-two years of life had I ever experienced emotions so strong.

I thought this new revelation would frighten me, but it didn't. Only two things scared me about this. One, telling Edward about the intensity of my feelings for him nearly sent me into a panic attack. Two, I had an irrational fear that he wouldn't feel the same way. I wasn't going to dwell on either of those thoughts at the moment. I wasn't ready to tell him. It was too soon. Our relationship was too young. We needed to take baby steps.

Rosalie squealed again, breaking me from my thoughts, before jumping up from the table and throwing her arms around me. I hugged her back and laughed at her behavior. I loved her exuberance.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella."

"Thank you, Rose. Thank you for being so supportive and helping me out through all of this, you know, with Emmett and everything. I know that it's caused you some problems and I just appreciate you sticking by me."

"Don't sweat it, Bella. You know I can handle whatever your brother throws at me. Despite how often he denies it, that boy is so completely whipped!"

We both laughed because it was completely true.

"Hey Bella, just promise me one thing?" Rosalie's voice was suddenly very serious.

"Sure, Rose, what is it?"

"Promise me you'll be careful. You don't have to tell me all the details about what the two of you are doing, I know there are some things that are meant to be kept private, but just know that I'm always here if you have any questions or need anything. So please don't hesitate to talk to me."

"You know I won't Rose. Thank you."

I wouldn't either. There were already plenty of questions rolling around in my head, but those would have to wait for another day.

"Well, I have to go to work," Rosalie announced before moving around the kitchen. Her dishes from her breakfast clanked against the stainless steal sink as she cleaned up our breakfast mess. "Are you and Alice still hanging out today?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she should be here soon to pick me up. I think we're just going to go get some coffee or something."

Alice had asked me last night if I wanted to hang out with her today. She had the day off and had some running around to do and said she could use some company. I knew she was really just looking for an excuse to hang out with me. I knew she wanted to get to know the girl who was taking up so much of her little brother's time.

Rosalie told me goodbye before she headed out the door, leaving me to my thoughts of Edward.

-:-:-:-

It was a gorgeous day, the weather perfect for walking around downtown Ann Arbor.

The sun felt wonderful on my skin as we walked down the sidewalk, talking and laughing like a couple of old friends. It amazed me how comfortable I was with Alice. She was so easy to get along with. She didn't appear to be fazed by my blindness or embarrassed by the cane that I had tapping in front of us as we walked along. She was very relaxed. It had been my experience that people felt a little uptight when hanging out with a blind person. Alice's attitude was a refreshing change.

He didn't know it, but I could tell when Edward was feeling uncomfortable with me out in public. His whole posture would change and he would tense up. I'm sure he didn't even realize he was doing it. I wasn't offended by the behavior, it was a reaction I had become used to. However, it was completely uplifting to be with Alice. She just linked her arm in mine and chatted away about her parents, Jasper and of course, Edward.

"Oh a Starbucks! Let's get one of those ice frapachino things," Alice said, breaking me from my thoughts and tugging my arm.

The intense scent of coffee beans filled my nostrils before we had even made it through the door. The volume of voices was considerably low, telling me that it wasn't very crowded. We got our drinks quickly before Alice found us a booth to sit in.

We sat in silence for a few moments before Alice finally spoke.

"You make my brother happy," she stated simply, instantly grabbing my attention. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to say in response. Obviously it made me happy to know that other people could tell that I made him happy, but wasn't sure where she was headed with this conversation.

"My brother has been a little... lost. I think he's starting to find his way with you. The start of college was not good for him. Add in the pressure our father puts on him... and well, he just wasn't that happy. It's so obvious that you've made a change in him already. In fact, he's the happiest I've seen him in years, if I'm being honest."

I smiled widely at Alice's admission. "Thank you," I replied.

Edward's happiness was linked with mine. The fact that she was able to see a difference in him because of me, made me feel positively elated. However, my mind was beginning to brew with curiosity over the information she had just unknowingly imparted to me.

_So what had happened to Edward when he first started college?_

I was realizing that there was still so much more I needed to learn about him; about his past.

_One topic at time Bella._ I reminded myself. I had the most information about his father, so I knew that was the most logical place to start.

I bit down on my lower lip, wondering how, or if, I should ask Alice all the questions I had running through my head; questions that I'd been wanting to ask Edward, but was too afraid to, for fear of upsetting him. I decided to jump right in and just ask.

"Alice? What's the deal with that? The relationship between Edward and your father, I mean? There doesn't seem to be the same stressful situation between you and your dad..."

She let out at heavy breath as my voice trailed off and she tapped her nails against the side of her coffee cup.

"You're right. It's not the same. Our father has always been completely supportive in my life and career choices. I know it's hard on Edward to see that, and I'm just so glad he hasn't held it against me and let it strain our relationship. The relationship between Edward and our father has always been... complex. Literally, since he was young...," Alice explained, her voice wavering a bit. I waited for her to continue but she didn't.

"I think you should ask Edward about it," she finally added after a few silent moments.

I nodded. She was right and I told her so. It wasn't appropriate for me to be going behind Edward's back asking his sister about his personal issues. It was completely disrespectful. Sooner rather than later, Edward and I needed to have that conversation.

**EPOV **

I was in a relationship.

This recent development was both scary and exciting. I hadn't been in a relationship since the Tanya fiasco freshman year.

My body let out an involuntarily shudder just thinking about Tanya. I wasn't going to taint my current happiness with memories of her.

Picking up my guitar, I leaned back on the couch, plucking the stings lazily. My eyes darted towards my cell phone, willing it to ring.

I knew Bella was with my sister, and probably wouldn't be calling me until later this evening. For whatever reason, her hanging out with my sister all day made me incredibly nervous. It shouldn't, but it did. I wanted nothing more than for the two of them to become good friends. Alice was probably the most important person in my life and her opinion of Bella meant the world to me.

Alice had texted me this morning to tell me that she and Bella were going to go get coffee and just hang out. She joked that she wanted to get to know her future sister-in-law. I pretty much had just rolled my eyes at her nonsense. She always got a little bit ahead of herself. Bella and I had just started dating. Who was thinking about marriage? Certainly not me.

Alice told me she'd have Bella call me when they got home. I'd been away from her for not even 24 hours, but I was already aching to see her again; to hold her warm body against me and to hear her sweet voice. I wanted to feel her soft hands against my face.

My cell buzzed, startling me from my musings. Practically throwing my guitar on the floor, I launched myself across the couch, picking the phone up without even bothering to look at the caller id before I answered.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice surprisingly breathy.

"Why does your voice sound all fucking breathy and shit dude?"

I felt my eyebrows pull together as I pulled the phone away from my ear to look at the screen in confusion. Definitely not the voice I'd been expecting.

Jake.

Fucking figures. Definitely hadn't expected it to be him. Then again, it'd been a few weeks since I'd even talked to him.

"Hey, Jake. What's happening?" I asked, leaning back into the couch again and propping my foot up onto the coffee table.

"Oh you know, just making sure you're still alive and shit. It's been fucking weeks since we've talked dude! What gives?"

"I've just been kind of… busy," I answered, shrugging my shoulders like he could see me. I should feel guilty for my lack of involvement with the House, but I didn't. I wouldn't change the last few weeks for anything. Being with Bella was one-hundred and fifty percent better than hanging out with a bunch of immature guys who burped, farted and smelled like an odious mixture of piss and beer.

"What's got you so busy you can't even stop by and chill with your brothers?"

"I don't know, Jake. I've just been busy. My dad's been on my case about MCAT and hospital stuff…," I hedged, not sure if I should tell him about Bella or not. I knew he'd razz on me and just give me a hard time about it and probably call me 'pussy-whipped'.

"Daddy C still being a royal douche?" he asked.

"Like that'll ever change," I snorted in affirmation.

"What else man? You can't _only_ been studying for the MCAT's," he pushed.

I took a deep breath. Might as well be honest. "Well… I kinda sorta… met someone."

"It's about fucking time you got some pussy, man!"

"It's not like that," I growled out at him, mad that he was even insinuating that was why I was with Bella. With her, it was about so much more than the physical aspects of our relationship. Being with Bella was effortless and natural. She was so much better than anyone else out there. She was sweet, innocent, compassionate, and the strongest fucking woman I ever met. "Her name is Bella… and she's just… different. She's actually really fucking incredible."

"Jesus Christ man, don't get your panties in a bunch. Just sayin' I'm glad to hear your self-imposed celibacy has come to a halt. After that whole Tanya debacle…"

"We aren't going to get into that fucked-up shit right now, Jake. I don't want to ever think about that time again. Tanya is a whore and a bitch and I'd be perfectly fine never seeing her again," I snapped, feeling the annoyance and anger rise up in me, which usually happened when I thought about my first semester of college.

"Whatever man, sorry."

"It's fine. Stop referring to Bella that way, like I'm using her for my own selfish sexual needs; because it's not like that. I fucking care about her. She's special, and fucking _good_. I don't deserve her."

"Wow, Eddie-boy, this chick has really affected you, huh?"

"You have no fucking idea," I told him, letting out a sigh and running my fingers through my hair. I hadn't even fully grasped the effect she had one me. I was only beginning to realize the intensity of my feelings for her.

"So when you going to bring her around? Do I get to meet this incredible girl you've managed to delude into thinking you're actually cool?"

"Har har, Jake. You're hilarious. And I don't know. I don't envision bringing her around the House. I mean Emmett never brought her around-,"

"What does McCarty have to do with this?"

"Bella is Emmett's sister…"

"What? No shit? Emmett has a sister? Damn why didn't he ever tell any of us?"

"Probably because most of the guys can't be trusted with a tube sock, let alone a sister."

"Touché."

"Anyway, Emmett never brought her around… for good reason…," I continued, feeling reluctant to fill Jake in on Bella's blindness and even more frustrated with myself that I was making it a bigger issue than it needed to be. Her blindness didn't definer her. But, I knew Jake could act like a total asshole about things like this, so it was better that he was informed now and not right when he met her, whenever that happened to be.

"What's wrong with her? What is she deformed or some shit?"

I let out a frustrated sigh, "No asshole, she's not _deformed_. But, she is… blind."

"Are fucking shitting me right now?? You're dating a blind a chick??"

"You're such a fucking asshole," I told him, my temper beginning to flare. "She's more than just a 'blind chick', dick. It doesn't define who she is." My patience was wearing thin with him. I was pretty sure this was why I hadn't even noticed that I hadn't spoken to him in weeks. He could be such an immature asshole.

"Hey Edward, I'm sorry. I'm just in a bit of shock."

"That's why I'm telling you now, so that when you meet her you don't offend her or act like your usual prick self."

"That was smart man."

"Well, we have been friends for almost three years. I think I know you pretty well by now."

He laughed, knowing what I said was completely true. Silence weighed heavily on us for a few moments before Jake cleared his throat and spoke.

"No bullshit though Edward. I really want to meet her. If this girl is as special to you as it sounds, I'd like to meet her! I'm your best fucking friend. I deserve to meet the girl that's got you all pussy-whipped," his tone serious until he got to the end and then he just started to giggle like a fourteen-year-old girl.

"Look, part of the reason I called was that the House is throwing a luau party in a few weeks; a sort of mid-summer shindig for all the people still bumming around campus. You should come. Bring Bella."

"I don't know man…," I responded hesitantly. I didn't think bringing Bella to a fraternity party was such a great idea. There would be so many people there. Most of them douche bags or bitchy sorority sisters. I didn't want to freak her out or even expose her to the insane level of fuckery.

"C'mon, it'll be fine. Not to sound gay or anything, but I totally miss your scrawny ass!"

"Fuck you man. I'm not scrawny! I'm just not a six-foot-five Native American!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever, whitey," he joked.

I did sort of miss Jake and the guys.

"I'll talk to Bella and I'll think about it."

"Alright man, that sounds good. Well, I gotta jet but give me a call within the next week and let me know about the party."

"Yeah I will."

We said our final goodbyes and hung up the phone.

Would Bella even want to go to a party like that? It didn't really seem like her kind of thing.

_I bet she'll tell me she won't want to go._

Yeah that seemed like the most plausible thing. Parties weren't Bella's deal. I don't have anything to worry about. She's not going to want to go. I'm getting all bent out of shape over nothing.

-:-:-:-

"How was my sister today? She didn't scare you away from wanting to be with me, did she?" I asked Bella, smiling and bringing our intertwined hands up to my lips to place a gentle kiss on her fingers.

Bella laughed lightly, leaning her head against my shoulder. "She behaved. She might be a little…intense, but she's not nearly as crazy as you made her out to be."

Bella and I were lying on her bed, talking casually about the day.

"Besides, nothing could scare me away," she added, her voice merely a whisper. I smiled widely, turning my body slightly so I was lying on my side. I pressed my lips to her temple.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear that."

She sighed, releasing my hand from hers and turning her body to lie on her side facing me. Bringing her hands up, she rested them against either side of my face, her thumbs running along my jaw until she found my lips. Moving her head up, she pressed her lips softly to mine.

"It's true," Bella assured as she broke our kiss but kept her hands on my face.

"I hope that holds true in a minute…," I stated, trailing off and reaching my arm around her so I could pull her closer to me. Her eyebrows furrowed together in concern. I rubbed my hand up and down her back soothingly.

"It's nothing bad," I told her as I noticed the apprehension in her eyes, bending my head and pressing my lips to hers quickly, "I was actually just wondering if you might like to go to my parent's house with me on Sunday. We usually get together and do family stuff on Sunday's. We usually have brunch or dinner. I think this week my mom is planning this big extravagant dinner. Alice and Jasper will be there…"

"Really? You want me to meet your parents?" she asked, her face lighting up as she ran her fingers softly over my face and lips. Her gentle caresses were distracting me from the topic at hand.

"Yeah, I do. What do you think?" I asked, watching her face carefully.

"I would love to go. I mean, I won't lie, I'm kinda nervous…," she bit down on her lower lip, "I want them to like me."

I ran my hand up her back, causing her to shiver lightly, and brought my hand up to intertwine into her hair. Sighing, the tension in Bella's face began to slowly fade away as I massaged her scalp gently with my fingers.

"They will be completely enamored with you from the first moment you meet them," I assured her, kissing her forehead. How could they not be? My mom would probably fawn all over her from the very first moment onward, which I hoped wouldn't make Bella uncomfortable. I'm going to have to remember to ask Alice to have a talk with our mom beforehand. I definitely didn't want her making Bella uncomfortable.

Although, if I was being completely honest with myself, it wasn't my mother I was worried about; but really my father. When I spoke to Alice earlier about bringing Bella to Sunday dinner, she seemed to think that it would be fine. Yeah, our father could be a bit gruff and harsh, but not with people outside of our family, or really just outside of my personal relationship with him.

Bella nodded, seemingly placated for the moment and humming as I continued to run my fingers through her hair. I kissed her forehead again as she wrapped her arms around my waist and snuggled into my chest.

I just hoped Alice was right.

* * *

**A/N:** Sooooo will Alice be right? ;)

BIG thank you to Bronze for her help with the beginning of this chapter! She's completely awesome and I want to hug her. Usual thanks to BellaMadonna and LittleClareStar who make my words pretty. This story wouldn't be the same without them. Thank you to Silver Sniper for the pre-read.

Silver and I are hosting an anonymous o/s contest! The Men at Work contest! Head over to the contest page and check out the details and write us HOT, DIRTY, SWEATY HARD WORKING MEN! ;) http://www. fanfiction. net/u/2262066/ (just remove the spaces).

Also I was interviewed for the Pittsburgh Examiner in an article about FanFiction. Link is on my profile. Check it out!

My one-shot Face Down was nominated for an Indie Twi Fic Award. LittleClareStar's story 'On My Own' was also nominated. My partner in crime Agoraphobiantic has two stories up for nomination. 'Girl Afraid' and 'Bullet in the Head'. Go check them out and vote! http:// theindietwificawards.

Thank you to everyone who reads/reviews/puts this story on alerts. Each and every one of you make me smile.


	13. Chapter 13 Typical

**Disclaimer: ****Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward adorably sweet, Emmett a little overprotective and Carlisle a bit of an asshole - but with good reason (I hope).**

**Thank you to my beta's BellaMadonna and LittleClareStar for their usual awesomeness. This story wouldn't be the same without them.**

**See you down below.**

* * *

**Chapter 13 - Typical**

No matter how hard I try you're never satisfied

This is not a home I think I'm better off alone

You always disappear even when you're here

This is not my home I think I'm better off alone

- Home - Three Days Grace

EPOV

My stomach rolled and flopped from the coil of nerves that had taken up residence there. I let out a heavy sigh as I pulled my car behind Emmett's Truck in Bella's and put it into park. I needed a minute to pull myself together before going in to get Bella. I couldn't show any signs of nervousness or I knew she'd be a wrecking ball of nerves. Her senses were more alert than a K-9 sniffing out a drug deal. She'd spot my anxiety almost immediately and that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted her to be relaxed and comfortable going to meet my parents. I couldn't understand why I couldn't make my muscles loosen and my stomach stop turning.

_Probably because you haven't brought a girl home to meet your parents since Tanya._

_Not helping._

I groaned, pissed at myself for thinking of _her._ That was definitely not going to help.

I didn't like to admit it, but I was scared. I wanted my parents to like Bella just as much as I did. I knew my mom would, without question, instantly fall in love with Bella. My mother loved everyone, except Tanya - but that was with good reason. My mother was a sweet and gentle woman, just like Bella. I didn't doubt for a minute that they would get along.

Alice had already taken Bella under her wing, so there was no worry there and Jasper liked anyone my sister liked. But then there was…

_My father_.

I groaned, throwing my forehead against the steering wheel. I couldn't help but be nervous about my father's opinion. He scrutinized every other aspect of my life, so why would Bella be any different? I hoped I was wrong. I hoped he would put on his professional voice and be polite to her. I wouldn't be able to control my temper if he wasn't. She was too important. I didn't need him scaring away the best thing that had ever happened to me.

That was it. The reason for my nervousness and also, I realized, for not being completely up front with Bella about my relationship with my father. I was worried about what she would think. It was also why I refused to tell her anything about my past in regards to girls, or Tanya specifically. She hadn't asked, so why tell? I didn't want to ruin the perfect relationship we've started with all my baggage.

I _really_ hoped my father didn't have the audacity to bring up that past shit around Bella. That's all I'd need and I certainly wouldn't put it past him.

Pulling my head away from the steering wheel, I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath.

_No fucking panic attacks, Cullen. Stop being such a whiny bitch. Everything is going to be fine. They're going to love Bella. How could they not?_

Yeah, how could they not?

With my last attempt at a positive thought, I hopped out of the car and strolled up the driveway to the front porch. I climbed the steps quickly before knocking a few times on the front door.

Within seconds, the door flew open, revealing a very jovial Emmett.

"Hey man, how's it going?" he asked, holding the door open for me, a wide grin stretched across his face.

"Pretty good, how's it going around here?"

"Meh, you know how women are. Rose has been primping Bella for the last two hours," he said, shrugging and walking the few short steps into the living room and throwing his body across the couch. I laughed and shook my head as I followed him into the room and sat down in the leather chair next to the couch.

Emmett and I fell into an easy conversation, which had been happening more and more often. He'd definitely mellowed out over the last month and really seemed to trust me with his sister more and more each day, which I definitely appreciated.

"Ahem."

A throat cleared across the room, silencing the conversation between Emmett and me. My head snapped in the direction of the sound to see a smiling Rosalie standing at the end of the hallway, just before the entryway to the living room. She smiled at me before turning her head to look down the hall just as Bella made her way down, cane open and tapping the floor as she walked.

I struggled to breathe as she came into view. She looked stunning. Her dark hair was down, just how I liked it, falling in soft waves down her shoulders. Sunglasses were already perched on her face, causing me to frown slightly. I hated when she hid behind those things. I let my eyes travel downward and I noticed she was wearing a simple purple cotton dress, but it hugged her body in all the right places. My eyes traveled down her smooth legs and I swallowed thickly as I eyed her.

"Close your mouth and stop ogling my sister like a caveman."

Emmett's voice broke me from my stupor and I snapped my mouth shut, not even realizing it had been hanging open. Bella's cheeks tinged a light shade of pink at Emmett's words and she bit down on her lower lip.

"Bella if you keep biting at your lip like that you aren't going to have one left. You're going to look pretty fucking silly without a bottom lip," Emmett teased her, causing her cheeks to blush a deep red.

I shoved Emmett's arm in a warning and I got up from the chair and he shrugged as if to say, 'what, she's my sister'.

My feet carried me quickly towards Bella and I reached for her wrists as I approached, wrapping my fingers around them gently. I guided her hands toward my face, causing a smile to instantly form on her lips. I loved our usual way of greeting just as much as she did, if not more so. Her fingers gently caressed my cheeks and jaw, sending the usual tingling sensation down my spine.

"You didn't shave today," she murmured.

I smiled. "I'm sorry…?" I apologized, not really sure if that was a bad thing or not.

"No, I like it," she confessed, biting down on her lower lip again. I released one of my hands from around her wrist so I could run my thumb gently across her bottom lip, tugging it free from the grasp of her teeth. I slid my hand down so my fingers were resting right underneath her chin and tilted her head up just slightly.

"Emmett's right, if you keep chewing on your lip like that you wont have one left and I'm rather fond of it," I whispered before leaning down to capture her bottom lip between mine, tugging lightly to reiterate my point while completely ignoring our audience. I pulled away after a second and she let out a gentle sigh.

"You're stunning," I told her, pulling her hands away from my face gently and linking our fingers together as our arms hung down between us.

"Thank you. I wanted to look nice, ya know, make a good impression and all," she said with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

I leaned down to place a soft kiss against her cheek. "You always look beautiful," I complimented, "and you don't have to worry, my family is going to love you."

Bella's smile widened.

"Shall we go?" I asked, and she nodded.

"Have fun!" Rose exclaimed, before handing me a sweater for Bella.

"Thank you, Rose," Bella replied politely as we made our way towards the door.

:-:-:

The ride to my parent's house was quiet, both Bella and I lost in our own thoughts. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking about. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. Both her hands were folded in her lap, her head tilted back against the seat. She looked completely at ease. Now I speculated if my nerves were completely irrational.

As soon as I pulled into the driveway, Alice launched herself out the front door towards my car.

"Alice is excited to see you. Be forewarned," I murmured to Bella. She laughed as I climbed out of the car and raced around to the other side, opening the door for her.

"Thank you," she told me as I took her hand in mine, helping her from the car. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she snapped open her cane.

"Bella!" Alice called, barreling into us and wrapping her arms around Bella in a tight hug.

"Hi, Alice. So good to see you," Bella told her, hugging her back.

"Dear brother," Alice said, turning to me and smiling. She got up on her tip-toes, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Hello, my overly energetic sister," I responded, bringing my hand up to ruffle the hair at the back of her head.

"Stop it! I hate when you do that!" she scolded, groaning and trying to smooth her hair back down. She scowled at me, but she was a terrible actor and I could see a smile starting to tug at the corners of her mouth.

The three of us made our way up the walkway towards the house, my hand tightly gripping Bella's. She tapped her cane in front of her, giving her security and guidance as she walked an unfamiliar path.

Alice was practically dancing in front of us, as she floated across the porch and opened the door. I guided Bella up the three steps onto the front porch, one hand placed on her lower back, the other still gripping her hand. She smiled up at me in thanks. Alice held the door open as we made our way inside.

"Slip off your shoes. My mom is a cleaning Nazi," I whispered in Bella's ear as I slipped off my tennis shoes. She laughed as she slipped hers off quickly as well.

"Do you want me to take this?" I asked Bella as I reached for her cane, thinking she might not want the hassle of carrying it around with her since she didn't use it at her own house or my apartment. I was more than happy to guide her around my parent's home. Part of me really wanted to guide her, to have to be constantly touching her. It would keep me grounded. Her touch soothing to me and I knew it would calm my anxiety.

"No," she replied, shaking her head back and forth. She gripped the cane harder and her cheeks tinged pink. My eyebrows shot up into my forehead as I stared at her, slightly taken back by her forcefulness. She bit down on her lower lip and took a deep breath. "I want to hold it," she whispered.

I nodded. "Okay."

I turned to look at Alice, who was waiting for us down the hallway and she rolled her eyes at me. 'You're an idiot', she mouthed before turning around and heading into the kitchen, where I was positive my mother was waiting anxiously for us. I stared after her, a little dumbfounded, not sure what I'd done wrong.

"Let's head into the kitchen." I interlaced my fingers with Bella's again, before leading her down the hallway. "I guarantee my mom is in the kitchen eagerly waiting to meet you. I'm sure it's taken all of her self-control to not fly out here. Don't be surprised if she hugs you immediately. Alice is a lot like our mom, if that tells you anything," I explained to Bella and she giggled softly, nodding her head as she listened.

Entering the kitchen, I found my mother standing at the island in the middle of the room, pouring a bag of salad into a bowl. Alice had taken a seat at the kitchen table. Jasper sat next to her, sipping on a beer. I nodded at him and he waved back in acknowledgement. My mother smiled at me when she noticed us walk in, before throwing the empty bag onto the counter top and immediately making her way over to us.

"Edward, it's so great to see you," she said, as she approached us and wrapped her arms around me and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"You too, Mom." I released Bella's hand so I could hug my mother back. "Mom, I want you to meet Bella. Bella, this is my mother Esme Cullen."

I placed my hand on Bella's lower back and she extended her arm out to shake my mother's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Cullen," Bella said politely.

My mother smiled widely at me before turning to Bella. "Oh dear, call me Esme. And none of that handshake business. We're all about the hugs around here," she stated before pulling Bella into a hug. The smile on Bella's face was bright and radiant and contagious. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. It made me positively elated to see her so happy in the presence of my family.

"Gosh, aren't you just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," my mother gushed as she pulled away from Bella and looking her over. Bella's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. She never seemed to handle compliments very well.

"Thank you," Bella replied politely.

"Can I get you anything to drink sweetie? Lemonade, water, a soda?" my mother asked Bella, as she made her way across the kitchen towards the fridge.

"Lemonade would be wonderful, thank you," Bella answered. I took her hand again before asking her if she'd like to sit down. She nodded in response and I led her to the kitchen table so she could sit next to Alice.

"Where's Dad?" I asked as I stood next to Bella's chair, tapping my fingers anxiously against the back.

"He had to work a little bit later than expected, but he'll be home in time for dinner," my mother answered, as she walked back toward us and set the glass of lemonade down in front of Bella. "Here you go, sweetie."

Bella thanked her politely before turning to Alice where they fell into easy conversation. Watching Bella interact with my sister so easily sent an unfamiliar feeling rocketing through me. It was a warm feeling of happiness and contentment;like this is where she was supposed to be, with me and my family.

"Edward, would you mind setting the table in the dining room? Dinner will be ready shortly," my mother asked, and I nodded before leaning down and kissing Bella on the cheek and telling her I'd be back quickly. She nodded, barely acknowledging me. I shook my head and laughed, grabbing the dishes and silverware before heading into the dining room.

As I finished setting the table, I heard my father's voice filtering through the house. I took a deep breath.

_Here goes nothing_.

I hurried back into the kitchen, not wanting to leave Bella alone for too long. Besides, I figured I'd need to introduce her to my father.

"Hello, son," my father replied as he saw me walk into the room.

"Dad," I responded, nodding my head at him. This is how our greetings always went. Cold and detached.

"Dad, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Bella Swan," I told him as I helped Bella up out of the chair so she was standing next to me and in front of my father.

"Bella, this is my father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Cullen," Bella told him as she extended her arm out for him to shake her hand. She was the epitome of politeness. My father glanced at me for a moment, before plastering a smile on his face, making me unsure if he it was sincere or if it was his 'hospital smile'.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Bella. Please, call me Carlisle," my father replied, his voice gentle and polite as he put his hand in Bella's, shaking it firmly.

I arched my eyebrow at him.

_'Please call me Carlisle'? Maybe he was going to surprise me after all and not be a complete ass. _

After introducing Bella to my father, we all took our seats and dished out the food onto our plates. I explained to Bella what each dish was that my mother made and then helped her scoop the food onto her plate. I felt unsure if I was babying her too much or not. She was independent, but she had told me that she liked her food placed in certain points on her plate, at the three, six, nine, and twelve-o'clock positions, with her meat always at the six-o'clock point. This way she could eat without assistance. I still felt a bit unsure if I was doing it right, but if it bothered her she didn't say anything. She just smiled and chatted with Alice and my mother.

Conversation was going smoothly, the majority of it being dominated by Mother and Alice (surprise, surprise). My mother was practically drilling Bella; asking her about school, her hobbies, Emmett and Rosalie and pretty much anything else she could think of. I kept my eye on Bella, looking for any sign of discomfort so I could make sure my mother toned it down. But Bella was fine. More than fine, actually. She was confident, happy and eagerly answering my mothers questions. She threw out several of her own to my mother and continually complimented her on the dinner. By the look in my mother's eyes, and the glances she kept throwing me, I knew she'd already fallen in love with Bella.

Before I knew it, Bella shifted the conversation from her, to me. She brought up the gig she, Alice and the gang had attended. She raved about my playing and I started to get nervous about my father's reaction, but unsure how to tell her to stop without being obvious. My mother listened with rapt attention, but my father was silent, seemingly focused on his meal.

"The band is really wonderful and so talented. Edward has such an incredible stage presence," Bella said, her lips spreading out into a wide and proud smile while her body radiated waves of support. My heart soared as I watched her face light up when she spoke of my music. Her encouragement of my talents were incredibly overwhelming, something I still wasn't entirely used to.

My father made a scoffing sound from the end of the table as he took a bite of his food. I whipped my head around to glare at him. "Music is a waste of time," he muttered, what was meant to be under his breath, but the whole room could easily hear him. I ran my fingers through my hair and I could feel my face burn with embarrassment. Why was I getting embarrassed? I knew he was going to berate me in front of Bella, I had prepared myself. _Okay so I was wrong and he_is_ going to act like a complete ass. _

Suddenly, I felt a tiny hand on my leg, massaging small circles on my thigh soothingly. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes closed tightly as I let Bella's touch calm and sooth me.

"Edward has an incredible gift. It would be a waste if he didn't utilize it," Bella defended me confidently, taking a bite of her food. I whipped my head back around to look at Bella's face and openly gawked at her for sticking up from me. I knew she must be intimidated by my father. He intimidated everyone. I could see Alice and Jasper out of the corner of my eye, their facial expressions mirroring my own. I looked at my mother and she was smirking, her eyes focused on her dinner plate. I turned my attention back to my father and his eyes were focused on Bella, anger and annoyance flashing through his blue eyes. His jaw clenched and he was gripping his fork so tight I thought it would bend in half.

"Music is a waste of time and only serves as a distraction from what's really important. Edward needs to be focusing on his courses and his future as a doctor. He already has too many _distractions_ as it is and he doesn't need to be encouraged. It's counterproductive," my father's tone was icy and laced with irritation. My body tensed at his insinuation that Bella was one of those distractions and that her support was a hindrance to my future. He couldn't be more wrong. It was because of her support that I finally felt like I could do something worthwhile with my future; that I had the whole world at my finger tips; that no matter what I chose to do with my life it would be a good choice because it was what made me happy. I started to open my mouth to defend Bella, but my mother beat me to the punch.

"Carlisle Cullen!" she scolded, a look of disbelief on her face.

"Excuse me. I have work to do." My father set his fork down on his plate before scooting his chair back and walking out of the dining room.

My mother looked livid and embarrassed. She turned to Bella before leaning over and patting her on the arm. "I'm so sorry, honey. I don't know what came over my husband. He's not usually like this."

"Yes he is," I muttered and my mother cut her eyes at me in an angry glare.

"No I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cullen. I was incredibly disrespectful," Bella apologized, biting on her lower lip again. I could see it trembling lightly and I furrowed my brows together as I clenched my jaw tight. I placed my hand over hers that still rested on my thigh. I leaned over to her, kissing her gently on the cheek before whispering in her ear, "Thank you."

Her lip instantly stopped trembling and she forced a smile onto her face. I could kill my father for making my Bella upset.

"Please don't apologize and remember I told you to call me Esme," my mother said to Bella before turning toward Alice, "Alice, why don't you get the cheesecake out of the fridge and serve it. I'll be right back."

Alice nodded and got up at the same time as my mother left the room and headed in the direction of my father's study.

Silence filled the room as Jasper gave me a sympathetic glance. Jasper had been around my family for what feels like forever and had seen my father treat me like the dirt on his shoe time and time again over the years. He and I had numerous conversations about my father's blatant preference for my incredibly 'perfect' sister. It was because of the talks with him that I'd learned it wasn't Alice's fault and that I shouldn't take my anger at my father out on her.

Alice came back in the room with forks, plates, the cheesecake and a serving knife. She set the cake down in the center of the table before silently serving up small slices onto the small dessert plates. She handed them out and the four of us ate in silence. The minutes seemed to drag, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I was incredibly pissed off and embarrassed at how my father treated Bella. The audacity of that man knew no bounds. He thought he was God and rarely stopped to consider how his actions affected other people. It was beyond irritating. What my mother saw in him I'd yet to figure out.

"Bella, did Edward tell you his birthday is in two weeks?" Alice asked nonchalantly as she took a bite of her dessert and effectively ending the awkward silence. I paused, my mouth mid chew, to glare at her. She knew how much I hated making a big deal out of my birthday.

"Alice-"

"No he did not!" Bella interrupted me as her hand squeezed my knee, her grip tight and causing me to yelp. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Bella's tone sounded a mix of hurt and disappointed. Her bottom lip jetted out into a pout.

I groaned and then sighed, setting down my fork and bringing my hand down under the table to squeeze her hand. I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles gently.

"I don't like making a big deal out of my birthday. It's not a big deal. It's only my twenty-fourth birthday. Not even a milestone," I defended, shrugging noncommittally. It really wasn't anything to get all uptight about: Just another year. "Don't drag her into your schemes and shenanigans, Alice." I tried to convey how serious I was through a glare and my tone hard tone. Alice just rolled her eyes.

"Maybe I want her to drag me into her schemes and shenanigans," Bella countered, pulling her hand out from underneath mine and setting in her lap.

"See! She wants to be a part of my schemes!" Alice exclaimed, smiling widely and clapping her hands together excitedly.

I sighed, glaring at her. I turned to look at Jasper and he just shrugged. "Give it up man. You can't win against Alice. You of all people should know this."

Jasper was right. If my sister already had something planned there would be nothing I could do to stop her. I should have known she'd pull Bella into whatever she had concocted.

A few minutes later, my mother walked back into the dining room and sat back down in her chair silently. She sliced a piece of cheesecake and put it on her plate before looking up at me and speaking. "Edward, when you're all done with your dessert, your father would like to speak with you in his office."

I nodded my head and glanced over at Alice. She gave me a sympathetic glance and shrugged her shoulders. She knew just as well as I did that this talk with my father was going to turn into a screaming match. When didn't it? But just this once, I had hoped to avoid it, for Bella's sake.

I prolonged eating my dessert for as long as I possibly could. I placed my fork on my empty plate and turned my body toward Bella.

"Bella, I'm going to go talk with my father. Will you be okay here?"

She laughed loudly and nodded her head. "Of course, Edward. Your mother, Alice and Jasper don't bite. I'm fine."

I shook my head and laughed too as I whispered, "Mother and Jasper don't, but I'm not too sure about Alice."

She just laughed harder and I saw Alice give me the stink eye, before she joined in with a giggle. Of course Bella would be okay. It was me that wouldn't be okay. I wished I could bring her with me so I could have her soothing touch while the inevitable fight took place. I knew of course that wasn't a good idea because more than likely we would be discussing Bella. The last thing I wanted was for her to be exposed to my father's arrogance again.

I kissed Bella on the forehead before making my way out of the dining room and towards my father's office. The door was shut when I approached, so I lifted my hand to knock on the door.

"Come in," my father's voice called from the other side.

I opened the door and walked in as confidently as I could.

"Mom said you wanted to see me?" I asked him as I walked across the room towards his desk where he was sitting, shifting through piles of paper.

"Why don't you sit down," my father suggested as he gestured to the large leather seat in front of his desk.

"That's okay, I'll stand."

"Suit yourself," he replied shrugging his shoulders.

I stood awkwardly in front of his desk for a few silent moments, shifting my weight back and forth from one foot to the other.

"Bella is a nice girl," he stated, not looking up from the papers on his desk. I eyed him suspiciously, wondering where he was going with this.

"Yeah she is. She's probably the sweetest and most genuine person I've ever met."

"A little mouthy towards authority figures, but I suppose that's to be expected given my tone at dinner."

"Is this is your idea of an apology?" I asked incredulously, rolling my eyes. "You're only talking to me right now to appease my mother. When really, I don't need to hear any form of a lame and insincere apology you have to offer. You should be apologizing to my girlfriend."

"Edward," he started, his tone hard as he brought his head up to look at me, "you know I just want to see you reach your full potential. You don't need any more distractions than you already have. I see how serious you are with that girl-"

"Bella, Dad. Her name is _Bella_. She's not just 'that girl'," I seethed, interrupting him. My arms were hanging down at my sides and I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to control my temper.

"This is what I'm talking about. You haven't known her that long and I can tell you're already way to serious about her. Do you really think this is a good time for you to be so serious with a girl? It's incredibly inappropriate at this juncture in your life. You remember what happened last time you got serious about a girl, don't you?" He arched his eyebrow at me, daring me to challenge his statement.

My nostrils flared as anger buzzed through every nerve ending in my body. "This is not the same at all! Bella is different. I _care_ about her. She's _important to me_. Way more important than anyone else is now or has ever been!"

My father sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm not even going to comment on that right now. You have to be realistic. How well do you _really_ know her? How much does she _really_ know about you? Is she aware of your family's financial background? She has a disability, Edward. Where do you see this going? In five years? Ten years? Have you stopped to consider the burden you'll be placed with throughout the rest of your life? Have you considered that you might be her meal ticket to a cushy life?"

"She is _not_ a burden! I can't even fucking believe you would say that. You're a doctor for God's sake! And a _meal ticket?!_" I yelled, shifting my weight back and forth from one leg to the other as I glared at him. My breathing was becoming uneven as I felt my agitation with him begin to elevate. "No father, she doesn't know about my family's '_financial background',_because she doesn't care about that shit."

"Watch your mouth and your tone. I will not tolerate that sort of disrespect in my house," he warned, pointing a finger at me; his eyes hard and serious.

"Oh, so you can dish out the disrespect, but you can't take it?" I asked incredulously, crossing my arms across my chest, my eyes narrowing at him. "You're unbelievable."

"She's a distraction," he said matter-of-factly, turning his attention back to the papers on his desk.

"You've got to be kidding me!" I snarled. "She's not a distraction! She's the best thing to happen to me. She's supportive, encouraging, and kind, and the most amazing person I've ever met!"

"Perhaps she should be more encouraging on more realistic life goals," he responded, not even looking up from the papers on his desk.

"Is this about my music? Are you still pissed that I'm in that band?"

He looked up from the desk then and just stared at me.

I rolled my eyes. "I knew it. Why can't you just be supportive? Just once?!"

"You're going to throw your life away."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I muttered, running my fingers through my hair for the umpteen millionth time since I entered my fathers office.

"I'm not _him_! Why can't you just see that!?" I hollered, uncrossing my arms and shaking them above my head. My body was shaking I was so angry at him. This shit was getting old and I couldn't deal with it anymore.

He glared at me his jaw set tight. "I think we're done here. I've had enough of your lack of respect for one evening."

He turned his attention back to the papers on his desk, effectively ending the conversation. I stood in front of him for a few seconds longer, just glaring at him, clenching and unclenching my fists. Turning on my heel, I crossed the room quickly to the door, swinging it open and slamming it shut behind me as I left. The wall shook violently and I let out a frustrated growl. I stalked back towards the dining room, the others still sitting around the table talking quietly. Alice, Jasper and my mother stared at me as I entered the room. Bella's head was tilted downward toward her lap.

"Mom, thank you so much for dinner, but Bella and I are going to be leaving now."

"Edward, do you really think-,"

"We're leaving," I interrupted my mother as she spoke. I walked over to Bella and held her hand, indicating that she should leave the chair. I interlocked our fingers together and started to guide her out of the room.

She stopped abruptly, yanking on my arm. "Thank you Esme for inviting me to your home," she whispered politely, her voice laced with a hint of sadness.

"You're welcome in our home any time sweetheart," my mother replied, giving Bella and me a smile.

"Thank you," Bella responded nodding her head and turning her body so we could continue walking.

The ride back to my apartment was quiet and I hardly remembered any of it. I was on auto-pilot, not even thinking about where I was going or what I was doing. Luckily, we arrived safely. I wasn't even aware of how hard I was gripping the steering wheel until the car was parked and I let go of it. My knuckles throbbed lightly as I flexed my hands. I sighed and turned to Bella, her hands were in her lap and her head was tilted downward as she chewed on her bottom lip. _Again_.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, reaching my arm out so I could run my fingers through her hair on the side of her head and down her neck so my palm was resting on her collarbone, my fingers splayed out across her shoulder. I stroked her neck softly with my thumb. She kept her head tilted down. "Hey," I whispered, bringing my other hand out so I could cup her cheek and turn her head towards me. I removed her sunglasses, and her eyes were watery.

"I'm not mad at you, Bella," I told her and she nodded.

"I know," she replied quietly. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers for a gentle kiss.

"Let's go upstairs," I said as our lips parted and she nodded.

I helped Bella out of the car and we made our way up to my apartment rather quickly and silently. Dinner at my parents and the events with my father had emotionally exhausted me. I just wanted to sit and relax and hold Bella in my arms. I needed her comforting touch and her warmth to ease away the outrage I still felt about my father's harsh words about Bella. He had been completely out of line and I always knew he had to a tendency to be an asshole, but I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt when it came to new people. I just didn't understand what his problem was.

"Edward?"

Bella's sweet voice broke me from my thoughts and I realized we were already in my apartment and sitting on the couch. Our fingers were still intertwined and she was leaning against me with her head on my shoulder. I'd been so lost in my thoughts it hadn't even registered in my mind that we'd been moving.

"Yes?" I asked her, turning my attention to her. I looked down at her face, just as her lips settled into a frown.

"I'm sorry."

"Bella, why are you apologizing? I should be apologizing to you."

"Because of the fight between you and your father. I shouldn't have said those things to him. It was inappropriate and it caused an argument."

"Trust me Bella, you did not cause that fight. That happens all the time between us."

"Still, I don't want to cause more problems between the two of you. I should have kept my mouth shut. It just really upset me that he talked about you that way." Her fists clenched in her lap and she let out an aggravated growl. I chuckled softly at how cute she was when angry. "I don't want to be a burden on you or your family."

She spoke the last few words so softly I almost didn't hear them.

"What?!" I asked, shocked. Had she heard what my father said? How could she of? The door had been shut and although our voices had been raised, my father's office was on the other side of the house.

I turned my body, forcing her to move her head from my shoulder, and leaned my back so it was up against the arm of the couch at the same time I scooped Bella up into my arms and pulled her into my lap. "Why would you say that?"

She sighed, nuzzling the side of her face into my chest. "I needed to use the bathroom, and Alice had offered to show me the way, but you know how I am with independence, so I just had her describe in detail the route and how many steps she estimated it to be from the kitchen, I just used my cane to help find it. When she told me it was just right down the hallway and to the left, I knew I'd be fine."

It dawned on me then that she would have heard everything because the bathroom was right across from my father's office. I also realized how big of an idiot I was. _I_ should have 'showed' her around; explained where everything was located. I groaned inwardly at myself, realizing how much more I still had to learn and consider when it came to Bella. I don't know how she could be so patient with a fuck-up like me. I seriously was not good enough for her.

"I'm sorry for eaves dropping, but I heard my name so I couldn't help but listen...," she trailed off, interrupting my internal ramblings of self-depreciation.

Taking a deep breath I leaned forward, kissing her temple and then her cheek softly. Her cheek was wet, silent tears streaming down it.

"Bella? Baby, why are you crying?" I asked her, my tone soft and gentle. I turned her body slightly as I placed my hands on either side of her cheeks. I wiped the tears away with the pads of my thumbs.

"Do you think I'm a burden?" she asked softly, her voice cautious.

"What? No. Absolutely not," I responded quickly, shaking my head back and forth, as if she could see me. I removed my hands from her cheeks, placing them on her wrists so I could bring her hands up and place them on my face. I wanted her to be able to feel the muscles in my face moving as I spoke to her. I wanted her to know that I was telling her the truth.

"Absolutely not, Bella. You are the strongest and most independent person I know. You are an inspiration to me. Please don't let my father's words affect you or make you doubt how I feel about you. I care about you, Bella. _A lot_. He said those things to hurt me, not you. It doesn't matter to me what he thinks. It never has," I told her, my voice strong and unwavering. I wanted to be completely honest with her.

"But it should matter what he thinks. He's your father," she argued.

"It doesn't, Bella," I insisted. It really didn't.

"He's your father, Edward. The only one you'll have." Her face was lined with sadness and I suddenly realized that this had something to do with her own parents being gone. I swear to God, I could be so fucking dense.

"You just never know when someone is going to be taken from you or what the future holds. I just don't think you should spend all your time being so angry with him," she whispered. Her fingers trailed softly over my face, trailing up and down my jaw. I knew she was right. If anyone knew about loss and the unexpected it was Bella. But, to a certain extent, I knew as well.

"I understand what you're saying. There's just a lot of...history," I hedged. "You're right, he's my father but _technically_ he's not the only one I have."

Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "What?"

I took a deep breath before speaking. This is information I should have shared with Bella a long time ago. The reason for waiting to tell her are still unclear to me, but now was as good a time as any. "Carlisle Cullen is not my biological father."

Her mouth fell open, her hands dropping down to her sides. "What?"

"Carlisle adopted Alice and me when we were little. I was three years old when that happened. Technically, he's the only father I've ever known. I didn't even come to learn that he wasn't my biological father until I was seven."

"What happened to your biological father?" Bella asked curiously, reaching up to touch my face again. One of her hands cupped my jaw as she ran the fingers on her other hand through my hair. I closed my eyes and sighed, her touch felt so good. I shifted our bodies slightly, leaning back in the corner of the couch so Bella was lying on top of me. I wanted to get more comfortable on the couch. This was going to be a long story.

"He's still alive. I mean, as far as we know. I guess, I can't say for sure. My mother told Alice and me that he left when I was just over a year old. He told my mother he couldn't handle the responsibility of two young children. He and my mother were married practically right out of high school. She got pregnant with Alice right after she graduated. Getting married seemed like the only logical thing. Then of course, a couple years later, out I pop and things turn into an even bigger mess than before."

Bella hummed in response, letting me know that she was listening. She continued to run her fingers through my hair, scratching lightly at my scalp.

"Carlisle, Esme, and my bio-dad, Edward Sr., were all friends in high school. Carlisle was a few years ahead of my mother and bio-dad in school, but they were still close friends, all living in the same neighborhood. They remained friends after Carlisle graduated and went away to college. The way my mother tells the story, she swears Carlisle always had a crush on her, which is why he never strayed too far from them. It was like he always knew my bio-dad would fuck up."

"So why did Edward Sr. leave?" Bella asked softly.

"He was a musician. He couldn't handle not being on the road doing gigs and being stuck at home with my mother and two small children."

"Ah," she replied.

"Ah?"

"I see now why your father doesn't like that you're musical."

"Yeah, my bio-dad has a lot to do with it. My mother and Carlisle always say that I'm so much like my bio-dad. I have a picture of him somewhere. I look a lot like him and I get my musical talents from him. Carlisle has always been convinced that I'll turn out to be a fuck-up like my bio-dad. He just resents him so much for what he did to my mother, basically abandoning her like he did."

"That's really very sad and unfair to you."

"I guess. But I guess I can see where he's coming from too, in a sense. My mother says Carlisle was furious when Edward Sr. left. He just packed up all his shit one day and left my mom alone with a crying baby and a tiny preschooler. I don't know all the details, but Carlisle moved in with us soon after that, confirming my mother's suspicions that he always loved her and was just biding his time until Edward. Sr. did something to fuck it up. They got married soon after that and Carlisle didn't waste anytime adopting us. My mother says he did it because he loves us and it was the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder if he regrets it, adopting us, that is. Maybe not Alice, but me. Alice has always been his favorite, because she's so much like our mother. But me, he's always so fucking disappointed in me. It doesn't really matter what I do. Nothing's good enough."

My throat began to tighten as I finished the sentence, and I found myself becoming pretty damn emotional. I swallowed, trying to push it all down. Saying it out loud, wondering if my father regretted adopting me, was hard. It was always there in the back of my mind, and confessing that fear to Bella made the possibility all the more real.

"He loves you, Edward. He wouldn't put so much effort into making sure you're successful if he didn't."

"Alice says the same thing."

"Well, Alice is a very smart woman," Bella said and I laughed.

"Don't tell her that. She already thinks she's right all the time."

Bella giggled and nodded her head in agreement.

"Do you ever wonder where he is? Edward Sr., that is?" Bella asked, her tone hesitant yet curious.

"I do, but then I also don't. I think about him from time to time; about his music; what he's doing; is he alive, ya know? That kind of thing. I'm curious how much I'm _truly_ like him."

"Do you ever think of looking him up and searching him out?"

"Honestly? All the time," I sighed, squeezing Bella tighter to my side. "I've never admitted that to anyone, though. Alice has never showed any interest in finding him, so I've always kept it to myself. I've always thought it wasn't fair to Carlisle for me to _want_ to know where my biological father is – ya know after everything he did for us. And I feel like I shouldn't care or want to search him out because he left us and clearly didn't give a shit either way about Alice, my mom, or me. I mean, he gave up his parental rights when he let Carlisle adopt us."

"You have every right to know about him if you want to. He's your blood," Bella said, justifying my thoughts. I knew this in the back of my head, but I also knew how furious Carlisle would be.

"I don't know if it'd be worth it," I replied, honestly. We fell silent for a short time as I mulled things over in my mind.

"Thank you," Bella whispered, interrupting my reverie.

"For what?" I asked, confused as to what she could possibly be thanking me for.

"For confiding in me; for standing up to your father about me; for trusting me. You know I'm always here to listen and anything you need, right?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I know. Thank you, Bella." I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair.

Then we were silent for several moments, lost in our own thoughts again. I listened to Bella's even breaths, enjoying the sensation of her finger nails gliding along my scalp. I felt my body relax, and I suddenly realized how tired I was. My eyes began to close and I pulled Bella in closer to my side.

"Edward," Bella mumbled, jolting my awake.

"Hmm?" I asked sleepily.

"It's getting late."

"Do you want to spend the night?" I blurted out, before I even realized what I was asking. Her hand stilled in my hair, before she answered.

"Okay."

I grinned and had to control myself from jumping up off the couch and doing a happy dance.

Slowly, I pulled us up from the couch and lead her to my bedroom. I pulled back the covers and dug through my drawers before finding Bella a tee-shirt to sleep in.

"Here's a tee-shirt. I thought it might be more comfortable than sleeping in your dress."

"Okay," she replied, biting her on her lower lip as I placed the t-shirt in her hand.

"I'll go in the bathroom so you can have privacy to change," I told her, kissing her on the forehead and heading into the bathroom. She smiled and told me 'thanks'. I'd seen her more than half naked before, but she was still pretty shy around me and I wanted to make her as comfortable as possible.

When I came back in the room, Bella was sitting on the edge of my bed with her hands in her lap, looking slightly awkward but fucking beautiful all at the same time. My shirt was pretty large on her and I couldn't help the silent groan as I eyed the creamy skin of her legs. She looked so good in my clothes. I wanted her to wear them all the time.

I walked around to the other side of the bed, climbing onto the soft mattress before scooping Bella up into my arms. I pulled us underneath the covers and snuggled Bella into me, her back up against my chest. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, breathing in the scent of her.

This was happiness. This was all I would ever need. Bella snuggled up in my arms, the warmth of her skin and the scent of her body permeating the air around me.

"Good night, Edward." I heard Bella's sweet voice whisper before sleep overtook me.

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**A/N: Phew. You all still with me? That was the longest chapter yet! Did you see that coming? Teacher1209 was the only reader to guess Carlisle wasn't Edward's biological father. I didn't drop too many hints, but I wasn't sure how to without giving it away! As usual, reviews are always appreciated! =) **

**LOTS of thank you's to hand out. Thank you to the ladies at KStew411 for rec'ing Angel Eyes last week. I was **_**beyond**_** shocked and incredibly greatful. Link to their review is on my profile. **

**Thank you to NoahEvansMom/lauras1sttime for hosting the Twitter read-along on 3/24 and choosing AE for it! Thank you to Maria2906, Kassiah, IzzyHeartsRob and Renas40 for reviewing each chapter as they read! **

**Also, I entered the Black Balloon one-shot contest. So read my entry then head over to the C2 and read the other fabulous entries!! **


	14. Chapter 14 Helplessly Hopelessly

**A/N:** **Usual thanks to BellaMadonna and LittleClareStar for being such awesome betas. I couldn't do this without them. Thank you to Silver Sniper for pre-reading and reassuring me that this doesn't suck. ILY. **

**Thank you to RoseArcadia who made me a kick-ass blinkie!! Link to it is on my profile and on my Twilighted forum. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, but Blindella is all mine.**

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Chapter 14** **– Helplessly Hopelessly**

I can stand with the weight of the world  
On my shoulders  
I can fight with the toughest of the tough  
I can laugh in the face  
Of all my insecurities  
Anytime, anywhere, anything  
I'm strong enough

But when you're holding me like this  
I'm carelessly lost in your touch  
I'm completely defenseless  
Baby, it's almost too much  
I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly  
Falling in love

Helplessly Hopelessly - Jessica Andrews

BPOV

My body was warm, and comfortable and just felt...safe. Edward's arms were tightly wrapped around me, our legs intertwined with my face buried in his chest. I inhaled his distinctive scent as I placed the arm that was not stuck between the mattress and my body around Edward's waist, pulling my body closer to his. His breathing was steady, his chest rising and falling evenly against mine as he slept.

Last night was probably the best night's rest I'd ever had. I had been hesitant to stay the night, unsure whether I would even be able to sleep next to someone else, even if it was Edward. I'd never slept beside anyone and I was so rigid in my sleep patterns. Of course, things with Edward were never as I expected. Despite being pinned to his body for the entire night, barely able to move, with our limbs tangled together, I'd never felt so at ease and secure and protected.

The previous day had been a whirlwind of emotions I hadn't expected. I'd been only slightly prepared for meeting Edward's father. Edward had provided me with a little bit of information about him in the past, but not nearly enough. I'd always known it was a sensitive subject and had never wanted to push him to talk about anything he wasn't ready to discuss with me.

When Carlisle had first introduced himself to me, I had felt that maybe Edward and Alice had been exaggerating. He'd seemed to be a more than perfect gentleman. Of course, that had lulled me into a false sense of security, so I had been completely unprepared for his outright disregard and disdain for Edward's talents and passion for music. It upset me to my core. I had no idea what came over me, but I found myself defending Edward and being completely out of line. I'd never spoken to an adult in such a manner before, especially not someone I had just met. I just couldn't help myself. Edward did not deserve to be treated that way, not by his father or anyone else. How a parent could dismiss outright their child's dreams was so beyond me.

When I'd gone to the bathroom, I'd heard their voices carrying and although I knew it was wrong to eaves drop, as soon as I heard my name uttered I couldn't help myself; I had to listen. It stung to hear what Edward's father said about me.... especially when he didn't even know anything about me. Edward immediately defended me and a sense of overwhelming pride and love filled me. I knew Edward didn't see me as a burden, but I had to ask him. I couldn't bear it if there was even the slightest possibility he saw me that way. I'd worked too hard for too long learning to be strong and independent and I refused to be seen that way.

I still didn't understand Edward's father's behavior, but it began to make a bit more sense after Edward's brief explanation to me last night.

Edward's confession that Carlisle was _not_ his biological father was a complete shock to me. I never even expected that. It broke my heart that not only had Edward lost the father that shared his blood, he was losing the father who raised him. I vowed to myself last night that I would not let him lose any semblance of a relationship with his father, especially when he was still alive. I also vowed to help Edward find his biological dad. He deserved to know where he came from. I knew what it was like to live without parents; I couldn't let Edward feel that same pain.

Moving my arm from around his waist, I trailed my hand up the front of Edward's body until I found the curve of his jaw. Gently, I ran my fingers over the planes of his face, feeling every soft inch of skin mixed with the roughness of the stubble along his jaw. I caressed every line and crease that I'd memorized over the previous weeks. I committed to memory the way his eye-lids fluttered under my careful touch and the way his lips moved as I traced them lightly.

Tilting my head up slightly, my lips found their way to the edge of Edward's jaw. Tentatively, I began kissing my way across it and down his neck, loving the way his facial hair scratched at my sensitive lips. I brought my hand to rest on his lower back underneath his t-shirt and rubbed my fingers gently against his skin. It was so smooth and soft; I hadn't expected a boy's skin to be so soft. The muscles in his back contracted as he tightened his grip around me. He shifted his body, unintentionally rubbing a very _hard_ part of his anatomy against a very _sensitive_ area of mine. I gasped, stilling my lips against his neck.

"Mmm, morning Angel," Edward whispered, his voice thick and husky from the lack of use throughout the night. He chuckled softly, obviously knowing what he had just done to me.

"Sorry for waking you," I apologized as I continued kissing my way up his jaw, searching for his lips, not feeling sorry at all.

"I want to be woken up this way _every_ morning," he mumbled, bringing his hand up, from its position on my lower back, to cup my cheek and bring my lips to his. He moved his lips gently and slowly across mine as his fingers found their way into my hair. I sighed against his mouth, parting my lips and slipping my tongue out to run across his lower lip. Immediately, his mouth opened. An uncontrollable moan escaped me as Edward massaged my tongue with his. I knew I would never ever get bored with kissing Edward. Every time was a completely new experience with completely new emotions consuming me.

Edward rolled us over so I was on my back while he hovered above me. Our lips never parted except to take shallow, needy breaths. I ran my hands up under Edward's shirt, rubbing my hands up and down the bare skin of his back. Abruptly, Edward removed his lips from mine, the heat of his body gone. I whimpered at the loss of contact.

"Just taking off my shirt, baby," he whispered before his lips were on mine again. I brought my hands back down onto his back before trailing my fingers around his sides and then hesitantly across his chest. I let myself explore the contours of his chest and abdomen as we kissed, feeling every muscle as it contracted and memorizing the way his skin felt under my finger tips. My fingers slid smoothly up to his neck, then I dragged them downwards, letting my nails scratch through the soft splattering of hair on his chest. He groaned as I made contact with his nipples. I gasped, my hands flying away from them in surprise.

Edward chuckled, stopping our kissing for a moment. "It felt good, you don't need to stop." His voice was thick and raspy and reverberated through my body causing me to shiver.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked, his hand moving softly up and down my bare leg. Goosebumps flared along my skin as his hand slowly slid underneath the t-shirt I was wearing.

"Yeah, I'm good," I whispered, nodding my head. "_Really_ good," I moaned as his lips made contact with my neck and he kissed and nibbled his way up to my ear. He sucked gently on the skin, shooting intense tingles down on my spine.

"Bella?" he whispered in my ear, his breath hot as it fanned across the side of my face.

"Hmmm?" I responded, barely coherent, thanks to the sensation of his lips on my neck and the gentle touch of his fingers which were at this moment making slow circles up and down my thigh.

"As much as I love seeing you in my shirt, I want nothing more than to admire what's underneath it. Can I see you?" he asked softly, as he slowly began pushing the shirt up my legs. My heart pounded in my chest, nervous for him to see me in _only_ my panties. I'd never been _that_ exposed to him before. I nodded slowly, not trusting my voice. I wanted this, though. I wanted to feel our bare skin against each other. I wanted to be _that_ close with him. The need was building up inside me, and lately it had started to become so intense it was almost unbearable.

The more intimate we were, the more overwhelming my feelings for Edward became. Every single touch from him made me feel special, wanted, _loved_. I had no idea if that's how he felt about me or not, but I could just _feel_ it, deep inside of me. I knew he cared about me, that much was obvious, but we never talked about our feelings. I so badly wanted to tell him how I felt. But I just couldn't yet. I couldn't take the rejection or make him feel obligated to say it back. Our relationship was still so new. We'd only known each other for just over a month, even though it seemed like so much longer. I knew everything was moving so fast but it felt so natural, so perfect, that I didn't dare question it. I'd never been in love before, but that was the only way I could explain the intensity of the emotions I felt every time I was around Edward, or each time he cropped up in my thoughts. The circumstances I'd been dealt had made me thick skinned and strong. But with every touch, every kiss and every term of endearment Edward uttered, he cracked down the carefully constructed walls. I was helplessly, hopelessly, falling in love with him.

Swiftly, Edward pulled the shirt over my head and away from my body. The cool air rushed against my skin causing goose-bumps to flair across every inch of me.

"You're so perfect," Edward whispered, "every single part of you."

I felt my cheeks flame, not sure why I was embarrassed. I knew Edward would never lie to me. His voice was so full of need and admiration, it made me melt inside, emotions only Edward could make me feel, rushing through me like waves.

Edward shifted his body so he was hovering over me again and then all at once my skin was warm again, the heat of his body radiating off him and settling into me. His lips found mine again as he lowered his body so our chests were touching.

I gasped, pulling away from the kiss, nothing preparing me for the intensity and overwhelming feeling of having skin to skin contact with Edward like this. The soft hairs of his chest brushed against my breasts, causing my nipples to instantly harden. I had no idea it could feel like this. I had no idea just simply feeling his skin against mine would be this all-consuming. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him hugging him closer to me. The sound that fell from his lips was so... _primal._ Weeks ago it would have frightened me, but now, it spurred me on.

Without thinking, I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him down into me. We moaned simultaneously at the contact, only the thin barrier of our underwear between us.

I ground my hips against his, urging him to do the same. This was farther than we'd ever gone before, but I couldn't help it. I _needed_ him.

"Bella are you sure-"

"I want you," I panted, not even bothered by my boldness. The sound that came out of his mouth was all the confirmation I needed that he wanted it too. I knew he was just worried about me, never wanting to feel like he was pushing me to do something I wasn't comfortable with.

He rubbed his body up and down mine, unrecognizable sounds escaping my lips each time he hit my most sensitive spot. It felt so good I didn't want to stop, but there was something else I wanted to do more.

I brought my hands up to his shoulders, pushing him gently, hinting to him that I wanted him to roll to his side. He understood immediately, pulling us both onto our sides, our bodies still pressed tightly together. Our lips met again as our hands traveled and explored each others bodies. Boldly, I brought my hands to the top of Edward's boxers, running the tips of my fingers against the soft skin of his abdomen and scratching my nails through the light trail of hair.

"Edward?" I asked, separating our lips again.

"Hmmm?" he groaned as his hand cupped my breast, his thumb moving softly back and forth against my responsive skin. I shivered, the sensation of his fingers exploring my body so overwhelming that it was almost too much to bear.

"I want to touch you," my voice so quiet, despite my confidence, I didn't know if he could even hear me. "Will you show me how?"

Every time Edward and I've been intimate, he never let me pleasure him, it was always about me. Not that I was complaining, but it wasn't fair to him. I wasn't sure why he wouldn't let me. It couldn't be comfortable having to walk around with something that hard in his pants. This morning, it was going to be all about Edward.

His breathing picked up and I think a whimper might have found it's way out of his mouth and something that sounded like 'oh my God'.

Edward moved my hand away from his stomach and just when I was about to protest, thinking he was yet again going to stop me from touching him, I felt the bed and Edward shifting next to me.

Quickly, he took my hand, his fingers sliding in between mine, the pads of his fingers resting against the inside of my palm.

Suddenly, I felt my hand come in contact with something that was simultaneously soft and hard. I gasped, obviously knowing exactly what it was I was touching. Even though our hands were connected, he let me explore his skin. I trailed my finger tips gently up and down him, eliciting quiet pants of rapid breaths from Edward. I hadn't expected it to feel so... soft, like silk pulled tightly over warm metal. I rested my forehead against his chest as he ran his fingers up and down the bare skin of my back. His breathing was heavy and I could feel his heart pounding against my forehead. He wrapped our hands around him and slowly, he started pumping our hands up and down, squeezing my hand and showing me just how much pressure to apply. I was in awe of the way his skin moved under my hand in perfect rhythm with the sounds coming from his mouth. Before I knew what was happening, he removed his hand from mine, letting me do all the work. The hand that had been caressing my back, now found its way into my hair. He played with the strands, tugging gently.

I continued to pump my hand up and down, just as Edward had showed me. I brought my hand up and over, my palm gently running across the head, a sticky substance coating my skin, before wrapping my fingers around him again. This elicited another primal growl from Edward, the sound coming from deep in his chest.

"Fuck, you have no idea how good that feels," he panted, the hand that was placed in my hair pulling gently so I would lift my head upwards. He pressed his lips to mine in a forceful, rough kiss, as his hips bucked against my hand. My heart beat faster and my confidence soared from his words. _I_ was making him feel good.

He grunted against my mouth, his breathing fast and heavy, before abruptly pulling away. A long moan that sounded a lot like _'oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck'_tumbled out of his lips as he placed his hand around mine, effectively stilling my movements. I felt him twitch underneath my hand and the warm sticky substance coated my fingers. I tried not to be grossed out, but the texture was overwhelming.

"Hold on a sec," Edward told me, sensing my discomfort. He shifted on the bed and suddenly my hand was covered with a cloth, my fingers being wiped clean. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay." It really was. It was _more_ than okay. _I_made Edward feel good. My body and heart was on the most beautiful kind of high.

As soon as our hands were clean, Edward pulled me to him, cuddling me to his chest. I shivered, I was still naked except for my tiny scraps of material that passed for underwear. Without having to ask, Edward pulled us back underneath the covers. I sighed in contentment from the warmth and feeling of Edward's skin and the silkiness of the sheets.

We lay in bed for a while longer, just cuddling, kissing and chatting about nothing in particular. Neither of us brought up the discussion from last night about Edward and his two fathers. Which was okay by me. I didn't want to ruin this perfect morning by talking about something that was so clearly stressful for Edward.

Eventually our stomachs demanded food so we had to get dressed and make our way into the kitchen. Edward made me breakfast before deciding it was probably a good idea to take me home. I reluctantly agreed, not wanting my time with Edward to end. Part of me was also dreading facing Emmett and Rosalie. I'm sure Emmett would demand answers to about 120 loaded questions as soon as I walked in the door. I hadn't told them I was staying the night at Edward's last night, though I was positive they knew where I was. Surprisingly, I never received a phone call from Emmett. I'm sure that was Rosalie's doing. I'm sure she yelled at him every time he tried to check on me. I loved her more than words could describe and would need to figure out a way to repay her.

:-:-:

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in," Rose teased as I opened the front door. Edward had just dropped me off, walking me to the door and kissing me goodbye. The way he was always so reluctant to leave me made my heart stutter. He was so adorable and sweet.

I shrugged my shoulders as I made my way to the couch, touching the back of it before sitting down comfortably, a small smile splaying across my face.

"Well don't you just look radiant," she mused, her voice playful as I shrugged my shoulders again.

"So, how was dinner?" she asked, her voice suddenly next to me as she moved to sit closer to me on the couch.

I sighed. "It was good. A few unexpected turn of events, but overall it was nice."

"Unexpected turn of events?" Rose questioned, her voice unable to hide her curiosity.

I quickly gave Rose the run down of the previous night. I told her everything from my disappointment in Carlisle's out right disregard for Edward's feelings, to him not even being Edward's biological father. By the time I was done re-telling my tale, I was just as exhausted as I had been after living through it. Rosalie listened with patience, though I'm pretty sure she wanted to go hunt down Doctor Cullen and castrate him due to the accusations he made about me. I had to calm her down and tell her that Edward and I had talked about that and everything was okay...for now at least.

"So you decided to stay at Edward's last night I take it?" she asked and I could instantly hear the smile in her voice.

"We were both so exhausted. I didn't want to make him drive me all the way back here," I replied with a shrug of my shoulders.

"Uh huh, cause it's so far," she teased.

"How angry was Emmett?" I asked hesitantly, biting down on my lower lip.

"He wasn't _angry_ per say, more like anxious and worried. You probably should have called us. But I get it: you're an adult and need your space. It's just hard for your brother to realize that you aren't some helpless little girl anymore."

"I know that. I probably should have called, but to be honest it didn't really occur to me. I was just so exhausted," I replied, sighing and leaning my head against the back of the couch.

"I know that. I told Em that you're a big girl and you can take care of yourself. You wouldn't believe what I had to do to keep him from driving over to Edward's."

I made a face, definitely not wanting to know what it is that she had to do to reign my brother in. "Yeah keep that to yourself. I do not need to know."

Rose laughed and I could practically envision her rolling her eyes at me.

"So... you stayed the night at Edward's...," she hedged, obviously looking for the dirty details of my night with him.

"Yes, it was very nice," I answered vaguely.

"Nice?"

I sighed exasperatedly. "What do you want, Rose? A play by play of the entire night and morning?"

"The night _and_ the morning?" she asked, the tone of her voice a mix of surprise and teasing.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Rose," I told her laughing.

"So you're telling me nothing happened?" she asked

"I didn't say that...," I hedged, feeling my cheeks warm as I thought back to this morning.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Spill it!"

"Rosalie, it's private!" I exclaimed. I loved Rosalie, and generally told her everything, but the physical intimacy that Edward and I shared, I wanted to keep between Edward and myself.

"Alright, alright," she relented, a disappointed sigh slipping from her lips. "Just remember, I'm here if you need anything."

I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, wondering how to bring up the question I'd been dying to ask for the last week or so. "Actually there was something...,"

"Oh?" Rosalie asked, her tone instantly switching from disappointment back to curiosity.

"I was wondering about...birth control...," I whispered, slightly embarrassed and unsure why. This was Rosalie I was talking to. Maybe I was just nervous about her reaction to the fact that I'd been thinking about sex. But, I was 22 years old after all. I have hormones just like everyone else. My hands fidgeted in my lap as I waited for Rosalie to speak.

"What about it?" she asked gently, obviously noticing how nervous I was.

"I don't know. I was just thinking maybe I should be on some kind of birth control... ya know... for the future."

"Have you and Edward been talking about having sex?"

"No!" I exclaimed, shaking my head. "No we haven't. But I have been thinking about it..."

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella. It's just me. You know that whatever we talk about stays between you and me," Rosalie assured me, and I knew that it would. The last thing she would want to do is have Emmett find out. He'd go ballistic, locking me away in a dungeon some where before ripping Edward's privates off. "I'm glad you're thinking about it and being responsible. Just call and make an appointment with your doctor. I'll go with you and we can ask about appropriate options for you."

I nodded my head, agreeing with Rose. That sounded like a good idea to me.

"You can ask her any questions you might have about sex to, ya know? I'm sure you have a a ton..."

"I do. I mean, of course I do! But I think that I might be more comfortable just asking you." I laughed, nodding my head. I wasn't completely naive, but still completely inexperienced. If someday Edward and I were going to take our intimate relationship even further, I wanted to be as prepared as possible. I also knew that I had to have the dreaded conversation with him about any past relationships. He'd still never brought it up and I was still too afraid to ask. I'm no idiot. I knew that he'd been with other girls and I was positive he wasn't a virgin. But, I was at war with myself. I wanted to know, because that was the responsible thing, but another part of me didn't want to know anything about his past relationships. I was too afraid that I didn't measure up to whatever he had in the past. I was afraid that he would eventually get tired of my inexperience. I was positive that bringing up any of his past relationships would cause him to automatically compare me to them, and I just couldn't handle that.

Shaking my head and clearing my thoughts, I brought myself back to the conversation with Rosalie.

"Thank you Rose, for everything. Really. I owe you big time for keeping Emmett under control."

She laughed in agreement. "Yeah ya do, but don't sweat it. I love you. He'll get used to you being an adult soon."

"I know he will," I sighed, thinking about how proud I was of Emmett and his restraint, "I need to get ready for work. I'm going out with Alice afterwards for coffee. Did you want to come? She wants me to help plan a birthday party for Edward."

"Sure that sounds like fun."

:-:-:

The few hours I spent at work were entirely uneventful. It was pretty much a typical afternoon filled with story-times and activities for the children.

Shelly had approached me about helping out at the Special Olympics held by one of the local elementary schools every summer. I'd helped out three previous summers and was very excited about doing it again. I had roped Rosalie and Emmett into helping the past and was already thinking of ways I could get Edward involved as well. I was so sure that he'd love it. I was hoping I could get him to put on a little concert for the kids. I knew they'd love that. It wasn't taking place until August, right before the kids went back to school, so there was still plenty of time to get other people involved and plan all the activities. I wondered if I could possibly get Alice and Jasper to help as well.

Rosalie picked me up from the library promptly and we headed over to Starbucks to meet with Alice.

Alice was her usual chipper self. I was somewhat scared to be around Alice when she had any amount of caffeine in her system. I couldn't imagine her having any more energy than she already did. Of course, she felt the need to apologize for her fathers action's and she told me how sorry her mother was too and that despite the situation she hoped I would come back again soon. I told Alice that everything was fine and that Edward and I had talked about it last night before we went to sleep. Alice was very happy to see that Edward finally explained to me the entire situation with their father. She seemed very relieved by that fact.

We chatted idly for a while, continuing to get to know each other. I told Alice and Rosalie about the Special Olympics and both were eager to participate in any way they could. I asked Alice if she thought Edward would be interested in helping and she said without a doubt he would. 'Don't you know by now Bella, that he would do anything you asked of him?' she had said, causing my heart to flutter quickly and a smile to stay plastered to my face.

It wasn't long till we had Edward's birthday party planned out. It wasn't going to be anything outrageous, just a small gathering of Edward's friends and family, held at Alice and Jasper's place. Alice was going to take care of all the decorations and the food, while my only job was to make sure Edward actually turned up. I didn't understand why he was so against having a birthday party, but Alice explained that he was always like that. He hated fusses being made over him. She didn't understand it either, however, it didn't really matter because Esme and Alice have always made a big deal about it regardless of how he felt.

I found myself getting very excited about it and I hoped that Edward would be to. The only thing that made me slightly nervous was the thought of what sort of present I should get him. I wanted it to be special and show him just how much I cared about him, since I didn't have the guts to tell him outright how I felt.

Once all the party details were ironed out, Rosalie and I headed home to get dinner started, so that Emmett's bear-like appetite could be satiated.

Thankfully, Emmett didn't give me too much trouble about staying the night at Edward's. Once again, I had Rosalie to thank for this. I was honestly very proud of Emmett for making such a conscious effort to trust me and to get to know Edward. I was so happy to see that they were becoming such good friends. Nothing made me happier than the possibility of Edward fitting in with our little family.

After dinner was finished, I headed into my room to relax, unwind and just be by myself. The last two days were incredibly overwhelming and exhausting. I picked up my violin, realizing that it had been several days since I'd been able to play it. Music had been floating around in my head for the better part of a week, reminding me of Edward, and I was anxious to play the notes out. I hadn't played much recently, so my fingers were a little stiff at first, but quickly fell into a natural pattern along the fingerboard, the bow moving lightly over the strings.

I'd always loved playing music, and easily lost myself in it. Learning to play had been my grandmother's idea. She wanted me to have something that I could feel confident about, a talent and a hobby. Much to my surprise, I had been a natural. I learned to play by ear, my music teacher incredibly skilled in working with the visually impaired. My grandmother sought this teacher out, paying her more money than was probably necessary. But it worked. I instantly fell in love with the instrument, and being a natural helped my self-esteem. I learned to play during a time where I was having difficulty dealing with my blindness and I had longed to just feel 'normal'. Thus, my grandmother came up with the brilliant idea for me to learn an instrument. I randomly through out the idea of a violin and within a week she had bought me one and signed me up for lessons. Growing up, I played in several concerts and recitals, but didn't do it so much anymore. Now, it served as something relaxing, something to get my mind off the rest of the world.

Suddenly, my thoughts and playing were interrupted by the shrill ringing of my cell phone. My instinct was to be annoyed, but then I recalled that very few people actually called me on the phone, two of which were currently in the living room of my house, and one I saw two hours ago. So that could only mean one other person...

"Hello, beautiful," Edward's voice crooned as I answered the phone. I simply couldn't help the smile that spread across my face just from the sound of his voice. "How was your day?"

"It was good. I went to coffee with your sister and Rosalie. We have some very special things planned for your birthday."

He groaned, "God, I can only imagine. I don't know why Alice likes to torture me like this."

"Oh stop, you big baby. It's going to be really fun. _I_, for one, am looking forward to it. Why wouldn't we want to celebrate the day you were brought into this world? I think it's definitely something to celebrate." I giggled and I could hear a small sigh escape his lips.

"Well, if you are excited about it, then so am I. As long as you're going to be there, that's all I need."

The line went silent for a moment, before Edward whispered ever so softly, "I missed you today."

My smile grew impossibly wider at his admission. "I missed you too"

We spent another couple minutes talking about our days and I told him about the Special Olympics. He seemed slightly nervous at first about helping out, but, just as Alice had predicted earlier, he said he would do anything for me and go anywhere I wanted him to go. My heart beat fast in my chest at this admission. Could it be that he felt the same intense emotions for me as I did for him? I was excited that he would be involved in something I was so passionate about and couldn't wait to start planning activities for us both to enjoy together.

It was beginning to look like Edward would be a permanent fixture in my life, for what I hoped was forever, and I couldn't even begin to articulate or get a grasp on the amount of happiness that gave me. Finally, the pieces of my life were starting to fall into place and it seemed finally worth living.

* * *

**A/N: So what should Bella get Edward for his birthday? =) **

**p.s. Chapter 15 probably wont come a quickly. I graduate in 3 weeks and things are getting crazy. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review my little story. I appreciate it more than you all know.  
**


	15. Chapter 15 You and Me

Thank you so much for the continued support you all give me. It means so much to me. I had an overwhelming amount of reviews last chapter. I tried to reply to them all, if I missed you, I'm terribly sorry! I read them all! I'll do better next time. =)

I'm sorry this took so long... BUT I'M GRADUATED NOW! Woohoo. *composes self* Ok. Sorry. Moving along.

Thank you to my beta extraordinaires **BellaMadonna **and **LittleClareStar**, whom without, this fic would suck. Thank you **Silver**, who prereads and keeps me sane and reassures me that my chapters are not boring. Thank you to **Izzy, Julie**, **Laura** and **Maria** for being so supportive all the time. I love you girls. **Julie** – you're pimping me out like the h00r I am and I love you for it. **Izzy** – you'll find a few special things in here just for you. You'll know what they are when you read them. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Duh. I just made Bella blind and Edward fucking adorable.

* * *

**Chapter 15 - You and Me**

What day is it? And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive  
I can't keep up and I can't back down  
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do  
Nothing to lose  
And it's you and me and all other people  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

- You and Me - Lifehouse

**EPOV**

I watched Bella from across the yard as she chatted with Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. She was laughing about something Emmett said. I couldn't take my eyes away from her. I watched her as she ate, totally captivated by the way her lips wrapped around the fork. I groaned softly and closed my eyes. I needed to get a grip. We had the whole rest of the day ahead of us.

I hadn't wanted to leave her side all afternoon, but unfortunately had been forced to mingle with the party guests, since I was the 'birthday boy' and all. Alice had invited a few of our friends and some of our family who were local. It was rather small, but actually quite perfect.

It was a little hot out, July in Michigan tended to be hot and humid, but Alice had rented some tents that shielded everyone from the sun. Her back yard looked awesome. She actually managed to reign herself in and the decorations, while I wouldn't call them subtle, at least they weren't gaudy. We had plenty of food; my dad and one of my uncles were grilling up hot dogs and hamburgers and my mother had made a shit ton of random side dishes.

Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes away from Bella and turned my attention back to the conversation I was having with my uncle, cousin and my father. Surprisingly, my father had even managed to remain polite and civil this whole afternoon. He hadn't said one deprecating thing to me the entire time he had been here; however, the day was still young. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and him to show his true colors. So far, though, his disapproval had been limited to a few eye rolls or frowning looks when various family members had asked me about school, music and Bella. Still, he had managed to keep his mouth shut and that was an improvement in itself. I'm sure my mother had ripped him a new ass hole after the dinner a few weeks ago and that was the true reason behind his sudden show of civilized behavior.

"Edward!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I whipped my head around to see Jake walking across the backyard in our direction.

"Hey man, how the hell are you?" I asked Jake as I approached, shaking his hand and giving him that not-gay-at-all man hug.

"I should be asking you that question. You're the one who's been MIA for the last month or so. The guys in the house were wondering if you died or something. I had to stop them from coming here and crashing your lil' shindig. They're all offended that they weren't invited, by the way."

I rolled my eyes. "Firstly, I didn't plan this 'shindig', my sister and Bella did. You know that if it were up to me I would have rather not acknowledged my birthday at all. Secondly, my sister would have been fucking _pissed_ if I invited those barbarians here. She did not want her house destroyed."

Jake barked out a laugh and nodded his head. "Yeah, I see your point." He turned his body around, looking around the backyard. "So, where is this little lady who has stolen my best friend and my brother away?"

"She's over there, talking to my sister," I answered, pointing to where Bella was sitting next to my sister on the patio.

He whistled loudly as he checked her over. His eyes lingered a little bit longer than I liked, so I punched him in the arm and told him to stop looking at my girlfriend like that.

"What? She's hot."

"She's beautiful, dick face," I growled out, as if what he had implied was offensive. As far as I was concerned, referring to her as simply 'hot' was offensive. She was so much more than that.

Jake raised and eyebrow at me. "Dude, this chick has got your panties in a fucking bunch, huh?"

"You have no idea," I mumbled, scratching the back of my neck and fixing my gaze back on Bella. She was laughing again. God, I loved her laugh. It made her whole face light up and her whole body just look more relaxed and comfortable.

"So are you going to introduce me or what?"

I dragged my attention from Bella and back to Jake, and nodded somewhat distractedly. "Oh, yeah, of course. Let me get her."

Quickly I walked over to Bella, politely interrupting the conversation to tell her I had someone I wanted her to meet. She nodded, excused herself, and took my hand. I told her I wanted to introduce her to my best friend, Jake. She smiled and nodded as I linked our fingers together and guided her over to where Jake was waiting for us.

"Bella, this is Jake. Jake this is Bella," I introduced, as Bella waved her free hand shyly in the air and I rubbed soft circles on her palm with my thumb.

"It's nice to meet you, Jake. Edward's told me a lot about you," she responded. She was so damn polite to everyone.

Jake chuckled before leaning over slightly to whisper to Bella, "Don't listen to a thing he says. I'm sure they are all lies."

Bella giggled and shook her head, "I assure you they were all good things."

"Then he was definitely telling lies," Jake joked causing Bella to laugh again.

The three of us chatted for a while and I was glad to see that Bella and Jake got along really well, something that I wasn't really that surprised about though. I was happy to see Bella was comfortable around him. It was hard not to be though; he was so happy-go-lucky and easy to talk to. It was so important to me that she liked my friends. Surprisingly, Jake actually behaved himself; limiting his crude language and behavior.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her face, finding myself lost once again in the joy of just looking at her. I watched as her lips curled up into a smile when Jake would tell a joke or frown, although I could tell she was fighting back the urge to smile, when he would make a joke at my expense. I resisted the urge to pull her sunglasses off her face so I could see her eyes when she laughed. I knew they were her security blanket being around so many people she didn't know. Even so, the ease at which she moved around the party with my sister or Rosalie just had me in awe of her. If she was nervous, she didn't let it show. She was confident, polite and just completely perfect. I'd had several family members come up to me and tell me how wonderful Bella was. My uncle even threatened to kick my ass if I fucked it up with her. I told him that if I did, he had my permission to beat me into submission because I would for sure deserve it.

"Edward? Dude, did you heard what I said?" Jake's voice interrupted my thoughts and I snapped my head away from Bella's face to look at him. He smirked knowingly at me as I shook my head.

"No, sorry. Lost in thought."

"You were definitely lost in something," he said with a snicker. "I asked if you were still going to come to the luau. It's in two weeks. You never gave me a straight answer."

In all honesty, I had completely forgotten about the luau. I never even mentioned it to Bella. Truthfully, I hadn't really wanted to because I didn't really want to go. I just didn't like the idea of Bella being around all of those drunken assholes. It would make me anxious, made worse by the guarantee that Tanya and her slutty sorority sisters would be there. I just didn't want to expose Bella to the huge level of fuckery.

"Oh, uh yeah, we're not going to go," I told him, shaking my head and shifting my weight from one foot to the other, nervously. Jake eyed me suspiciously.

"Why not? You always go to these things."

"Because, I don't think it's a good idea," I snapped, glaring at him and trying to convey with my eyes for him to shut the fuck up.

"Wait - what luau? Why isn't it a good idea?" Bella asked, her forehead wrinkling in confusion. Before I could even answer her, Jake took it upon himself to answer.

"The fraternity house always has a middle of the summer bash - barbequing, beer, and all the drinking games you can handle. It's always a really good time. I told Edward here about it a few weeks ago, since he's been so MIA around the House. He said he'd tell you about it and get back to me about if you guys were free."

Bella's grip on my hand tightened in what I was sure was annoyance. "No, he never said anything to me."

I sighed, before leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. "I just didn't think you'd want to go. It's just going to be a bunch of drunk people getting sloppy."

"You still should have told me about it, instead of just _assuming_," oh yeah she was annoyed alright, "that I wouldn't want to go and making the decision for me." She let go of my hand and crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "You don't get to make decisions for the both of us, Edward. Don't baby me. I'm completely capable of making my own decisions."

I could see Jake out of the corner of my eye looking awkwardly between Bella and me. "Uh, I'm gonna go talk to Emmett and Alice," he mumbled before leaving Bella and me alone. I sighed and pried Bella's arms apart, taking her hand in mine again. I kissed her palm as sweetly as I could before speaking.

"I know you are. I just didn't think you'd like going to something like that."

"How do you know, unless you ask me?" she countered. "Did you really think I wouldn't want to go, or did you just not want to take me there?"

She knew me so well it was ridiculous. "It's not that I didn't want to take you there... it just... I don't know Bella. I just don't like the idea of you being around all those drunken Neanderthals and bitchy sorority girls." I suddenly realized that I probably hurt her feelings by not including her in this decision process, treating her like everyone in her life, except Rosalie, treated her; like a child.

"Rose is a sorority girl," Bella argued and I assumed trying to make a point that not _all_ sorority girls were bitches. She had a point, but she didn't know _these_ particular girls and I didn't want her to.

"So you want to go?" I asked, before kissing her palm again and placing it against my face. Instinctively, she ran her fingers over my jaw and cheek.

"I do," she answered, nodding her head affirmatively. She sighed and then spoke very quietly. "I don't get to do 'normal' stuff that college girls do, Edward. I know that Emmett and Rosalie have gone to those parties before and, well, I'm just sick of always having to be stuck at home and left behind. They've never taken me to anything like that."

"You don't think that's for good reason?" I asked.

"Maybe it is, but, I'm so _sick_ of being sheltered. I just want to _experience_things, experience life, Edward. I thought you'd be the one person who wouldn't treat me like I was incapable of doing something or handling situations."

_I'm an asshole._

"Bella, I think you can do anything," I whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear after the breeze blew it across her face. I let my hand rest against her cheek and my fingers tangle in her hair as I pressed her other hand to the center of my chest. "I never meant to make you feel that way. I'm sorry. I only want to protect you from things because I care about you, _so much_." I told her, emphasizing my words by pressing my lips softly to hers. I felt her body relax as she kissed me back.

"If you want to go, we'll go," I told her, pulling away from her and studying her face carefully.

"I want to go."

"Then, we're going."

:-:-:

A few hours later, after we were stuffed full of cake, hot dogs and potato salad, the party dissolved and Bella and I headed to my apartment. She had wanted to stay and help Alice clean up, but Alice insisted that she was fine and for us to leave. I wasn't about to argue, so I quickly grabbed Bella and pulled her out the door. I just wanted to get home and cuddle up with Bella in my bed.

As soon as we got to my apartment, I basically dragged Bella upstairs and into my room.

"What's the hurry?" she asked, giggling as we walked into my bedroom and I practically threw her onto my bed. She sat down on the edge, as I leaned forward, placing my hands on either side of her body.

"No hurry, tonight," I whispered, leaning forward some more, causing her to lean backwards on the bed, resting on her elbows. I gently spread her legs apart so I could rest myself in between them and began to kiss her lips, jaw and neck.

She giggled again, placing one of her hands on my chest and trying to push me away from her gently. "What's gotten into you?" she asked me in between quiet laughter.

"I can't help it if you look so delicious that I am unable to do anything other than devour you," I whispered against her skin. She sighed, her head tilting to the side to give me better access to the sensitive skin there. "I've wanted to get you alone all day."

She whimpered before pushing me away again. "Wait - I have something I want to give you."

"It can wait," I told her, my lips only leaving her skin for the short time it took me to get those three words out.

"Edward, c'mon" she said, pushing me a little more roughly this time. I sighed and reluctantly pulled away, standing up straight.

"Hand me my purse, please," she said and I walked across the room to pick up her purse that she had dropped onto the floor when we first walked in.

I handed it to her and watched as she felt around inside.

She pulled out a flat package, wrapped in blue paper. "Happy birthday," she whispered, holding out the object in front of her for me to take. Her teeth instantly began biting at her bottom lip. I took the package from her hand, before taking a seat next to her on the bed.

"It's nothing outrageous or anything. I just wanted to get you a little something. If you don't like it, it's okay. I mean its kinda stupid-"

"It's not going to be stupid," I scolded her, not even wanting to continue on that train of thought. "Are you going to let me open it and decide for myself?" I teased her, turning her face towards me so that I could kiss her sweet lips. She nodded her head and gave me a small smile.

I carefully unwrapped the blue paper to reveal a CD.

"It has some songs on it that remind me of you. It's me, I mean, playing those songs. On my violin," she rambled out. She took a deep breath and frowned. For whatever reason, she was incredibly nervous about giving me this. I couldn't even formulate the words to express how much I loved it. No one had ever given me anything like this before.

I quickly jumped up off the bed, walking across the room to my stereo. I popped the CD in and let my beautiful girl's music float throughout the room. I smiled widely and walked back over to her. She had her hands in her lap and was chewing on her lower lip. Again. She was going to have to stop that if she didn't want her teeth to meet through the skin.

I sat back down beside her, turning slightly so I could face her.

"Do you like it? Its lame isn't it? I just didn't know what to get you. I'm not very interested in material objects, so I didn't want to get you something like that-"

I immediately cut off her nonsensical babbling, pressing my lips to hers. "I love it," I told her as I pulled away, cupping her cheek in my palm. As I rubbed the pad of my thumb over her cheek, I could see the tension release from her body. Her shoulders relaxed and she took a deep breath.

"Really? You like it?" she asked. She sounded so hopeful and full of child-like innocence I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I love it. It's perfect," I assured her, giving her another gentle kiss. "You didn't have to get me anything, Bella. All I need is you."

"You have me already," she whispered.

"Then I have everything I'll ever need," I whispered back before kissing her again. This time, I deepened the kiss and pushed her gently back onto the bed so I was hovering over her. I pulled our bodies further up the bed, making myself comfortable above her. She tangled her fingers into my hair, scratching at my scalp and tugging at the strands. I groaned into her mouth as I gently lowered my body down onto hers.

We took our time, kissing slowly and passionately as we let our hands explore each other's bodies. There was nothing to rush tonight. I simply wanted to just enjoy being here with her.

Slowly, I started removing my clothing and hers. Her shirt came first, and I spent plenty of time caressing each of her breasts over the thin cotton of her bra. I let the sounds that escaped from her sweet lips guide me in my movements. Before long I was in only my boxers, my dick straining hard against the side of her thigh.

I kissed and sucked my way across her neck and down her collarbone, nibbling on it as I continued my path downward. I kissed the swell of her breasts and each one of her nipples through the cotton, tugging gently on the pebbled flesh with my teeth. She whimpered and writhed underneath me as I continued to kiss and worship my way down her body. My fingers trailed up and down every inch of her skin, wanting commit every bit of it to my memory. Her fingers stayed tangled up in my hair as my lips trailed gently across her stomach, my tongue leaving a wet trail as I went. She giggled softly as she whispered "that tickles". I smiled against her soft skin, but continued my path. I skimmed my nose across the skin of her abdomen and up through her breasts; goose bumps popping up in its wake.

I pulled away from her body just enough so I had the space to remove her pants. As I slid them down her legs, a gasp escaping my lips as I noticed a small flesh colored patch on her lower abdomen. I let my fingers trace over it lightly. I knew exactly what it was. But I was too shocked to even speak. When did she do this? Why did she do this? Was she thinking about _it_? What did that mean?

"Edward?" Bella asked nervously, bringing me back to reality.

"Is this... is this... what I think it is?"

_Of course it's what you think it is. What else could it possibly be you idiot? _

My eyes flashed up from the flesh covered patch, back to her face. She was chewing on her lower lip nervously again.

"Um, what do you think it is?" she asked weakly, obviously nervous.

I swallowed thickly. "Birth control patch?"

She nodded slowly, her cheeks reddening.

I could feel my Adams apple bob as I swallowed hard again. My throat suddenly felt very dry. Was I nervous? Why was I nervous about this? I rested my forehead against her shoulder as she reached up, tangling her fingers in my hair again. I let out a shuddered breath, willing my hormones to slow down. If we were going to have this conversation, I needed to calm down.

"Did you get this for, um...woman problems...," I rolled my eyes at myself and groaned, "...or because you've been thinking about...sex?" I cleared my throat and brought my head up so I could look at her face. Her cheeks were tinged a faint shade of pink.

I sighed, fully aware that this was a conversation we should have been having while we weren't half naked, but it was already started so I figured we might as well continue it.

"Don't be embarrassed, Angel. We should talk about this," I told her gently and brushing my lips softly against hers.

"Okay," she whispered, a gust of breath escaping her lips in an exhale. "I've been thinking about...sex," she whispered the last word so softly I could barely hear her.

I smiled widely, happy at this moment that she couldn't see my face and how positively elated this confession made me. To know that she was thinking about sex with me was probably the hottest thing ever and made me more turned on then I'd ever been in my life.

"Do you think about it too?" she asked, her voice timid and worried.

I leaned down to brush my lips against her jaw and up to her ear. "All the time. You have no idea," I confessed, my voice nothing but a husky whisper. Her body let out an involuntary shudder as a low whimper escaped her mouth. I knew it probably wasn't a good idea to tease her like this, but I couldn't resist. "I want you so badly it hurts."

She whimpered again, her hand roaming up my side, her fingers traced the muscles lightly causing an involuntary groan to escape my lips, as she searched for my face. I gently took hold of her wrist, placing her hand against my jaw. Her thumb brushed against my lower lip, instinctively my tongue shot out to lick it. Without hesitation I brought it into my mouth, sucking on it lightly before releasing it with a 'pop'. Her breathing picked up, her chest heaving up and down. I watched as she unconsciously rubbed her thighs together and I couldn't help but groan as I watched her body react to me. Her cheeks and chest were flushed. She was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at her.

I rubbed my hand up and down her thigh gently, without any hesitation her legs spread a little bit wider as my fingers came close to her panty line. I leaned over her, brushing my lips against hers again. As I deepened our kiss, I placed my hand inside her underwear.

I moaned into her mouth as my fingers explored her slick flesh; evidence of how turned on she was dripped against my fingers. Nothing was hotter and more beautiful than my Bella. I loved how comfortable she was becoming with me. She was becoming more relaxed and giving into her sexuality. It made me so excited and my dick so hard it was almost painful.

Her arms dropped to her sides on the mattress, her fingers gripping at my sheets, as she arched her back, her chest rubbing against mine. I gently stroked my fingers up and down her slit as I unabashedly began rubbing my dick against the side of her thigh. I was aching and needing friction so badly. I wasn't even ashamed that I was humping her like an animal. If the sounds coming out of her mouth were any indication, she definitely didn't seem to mind.

"Edward?" Bella panted, her hips writhing against my hand.

"Yeah?" I asked, my breath coming out just as ragged as hers. _Fuck, this feels so good_, I thought, momentarily distracted by the pleasurable friction her body provided mine.

"We can now. If you want."

"We can what?" I asked, my mind too clouded by pleasure and want to really even think about what she was saying.

"Have sex," she whispered in between spurts of rapid breaths.

My hand instantly stilled inside her body and I stopped moving against her. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down and buried my face into her neck. I needed to clear my head and think because I was about two seconds away from ripping her panties off and burying myself inside her. But I didn't want our first time to be like that. I didn't want it to be like that for Bella. She was important to me. She was different than anyone else I'd ever been with and I wanted it to be special, not just for her, but for me too.

"Bella, as tempting as that sounds right now, and God knows I want you so badly I can barely think, but I want our first time to be special. You are so special to me and - God just so fucking important. It turns me on like you wouldn't believe that you want to have sex with me," I pulled my hand from her underwear, causing her to whine in disapproval, but I wanted her to fully grasp and feel how sincere I was about what I was going to tell her. I took her hand in mine and placed it on my face. "But Bella, I don't want to just have sex with you," her eyebrow furrowed in confusion as she listened to my words, "I want to make love to you," I finished, swallowing thickly - the dry throat back in full force again. I hoped I was fully conveying just how much she meant to me. How important doing this right was to me. I didn't want to just 'bury myself inside her'. I wanted to _feel_ her and _experience_ the emotional side of having sex.

_God I sound like such a fucking pussy right now. _

I really didn't care though. My angel was special and I'd give her the world if I could. _  
_  
She nodded her head in understanding as her fingers traced light patterns across my cheeks and jaw. She smiled as her fingers tangled in the hair at the base of my neck. She tugged, pulling my head down so she could kiss me. I eagerly devoured her mouth with mine and I placed my hand back inside of her panties, wanting to continue where we left off.

Her fingers pulled at my hair as she moaned into my mouth and her hips rocked against my hand. I felt one of her hands slide down my chest to the waistband of my boxers. Suddenly and without any hesitation, Bella was gripping my cock in her hand. My breath escaped in a long, throaty groan as her small hand covered me and she began rubbing me through the thin cloth.

I pulled my mouth away from hers to catch my breath. I rested my head in between her neck and shoulder as I slid down my boxers with my free hand. Immediately, Bella's hand wrapped around me and I gasped loudly at the contact of her soft palm and slender fingers against my skin. I couldn't help the heavy breaths and guttural groans that escaped out of my mouth as she pumped me up and down. It just felt _so fucking good._ I couldn't get enough.

"It feels so good, baby," I told her, taking her ear lobe between my teeth and biting lightly. "Does it feel good when I touch you this way?" I asked her as my fingers moved in and out of her.

She nodded as she moaned and sighed. Her body shuddered and her hand stilled on me just before I felt her orgasm around my fingers and she cried out - the loudest she ever had before. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I was giving my angel pleasure; pleasure that she never felt from anyone else. The caveman inside me roared to life and staked claim.

_Mine!_

After she calmed down for a few seconds, taking deep breaths, Bella rolled to her side and gripped me tightly in her hand again. She continued where she left off, pumping and gliding her hand over me just like I taught her. It took me less than a minute to cum, which normally would have been embarrassing as fuck, but not with my angel. One - she didn't know the difference; and two - her touch just did crazy fucking things to my body. It was an experience I sure as hell was not going to get used to and didn't want to either.

My body wanted nothing more then to succumb to exhaustion and go to sleep with Bella tucked into my side, but I knew I had to clean us up for a bit and let Bella get dressed in the pajama's she brought with her. I was slightly disappointed to see that she had brought her own pajamas with her because I was _really_ looking forward to seeing her in my t-shirt again.

I let Bella have her privacy to do her girly bathroom routine and I pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. I crawled back into the bed, waiting for Bella to emerge from the bathroom. It took her less than five minutes before she came out and walked straight towards my bed. She'd been in this room enough times now that she didn't need me to guide her or require the use of her cane. It filled my heart with this indescribable emotion to see her so comfortable in my apartment.

It took only a matter of seconds for Bella to curl up into my side, and sleep to take us both under.

* * *

A/N: As always, reviews are appreciated.

Next up is the frat party where things will get...interesting. ;)

I don't usually do this but I have to rec a fic. Awake in the Infinite Cold by quothme. It will tear your heart out. But it's so beautifully written that it makes it worth it. I've been thinking about it for days. Link in my favorites.

Oh - and I'm writing a new fic. It's angsty and different. I'll probably start posting soon. So put me on author alert if you'd like to check it out. =)


	16. Chapter 16 40 Kinds of Sadness

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I just made Bella blind and Edward adorable and sweet.**

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**Chapter 16 **

Two days chasing me around  
I go crazy when you're outside of my world  
When you're outside of my world  
No sounds singing me to sleep

I don't want the room to breathe  
Just be with me...  
Just be with me!

I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.  
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone  
And I know you're just around the corner  
But just around the corner is not enough  
It's not enough

_40 Kinds of Sadness_ – Ryan Cabrera

**BPOV**

My stomach fluttered from nervousness as I unnecessarily smoothed down the edge of my dress, enjoying the feeling of the soft cotton fabric against my fingertips. I was waiting for Edward to come pick me up. Tonight was his fraternity's luau party. I was excited to go, but extremely nervous because I had no idea what to expect.

I'd heard stories from Rose after she had gone to some, and they all pretty much sounded the same: Lots of beer, lots of loud music and lots of drunken idiots. I was pretty positive that I could handle it.

Rose helped me get ready, as usual. I really wanted to look good for Edward tonight. I knew that I was going to meet all of his friends and I wanted to make a good impression. Rosalie had curled my hair and put some light makeup on my eyes and cheeks. I didn't usually wear makeup, for obvious reasons, but I trusted Rosalie would make me look nice and not like a scary clown. She gave me a lei, and although the fake flowers were scratchy against my skin, I wore it because Rose insisted. She said she would be wearing one and it was pivitol for a luau party. Who was I to argue?

A light knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts and I heard Rosalie racing across the room, the floor creaking wildly in the wake of her steps.

"Hey, Edward," she greeted and I got up off the couch just as I felt Edward take a hold of my hands, his lips brushing gently across my cheek. I breathed in his soothing scent and a different kind of butterflies began fluttering around in my stomach. They were ever present when I was around Edward; they were the good kind of nervousness. It was a pleasurable feeling only he could bring out of me.

"Hey," I whispered with a smile.

"Hey yourself," he whispered back, his smile evident in his voice. "You look beautiful," he spoke quietly in my ear, so only I could hear. His breath tickled at the light hairs along my neck and sent a shiver down my spine.

"You ready?" he asked and I nodded my head. "Where's your cane?"

"I'm leaving it here. I figured you could be my guide...," I replied, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly. It was a big step for me, and was probably a big contributor to my nerves, but I thought it would just be easier if I left it at home. I didn't want to draw more attention to myself than I probably already would. I ordinarily didn't care about what people thought, but it just seemed easier in this particular case.

"Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly, he knew how much of a security blanket my cane was for me. I trusted Edward though. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me.

"I'm sure," I answered with an affirmative nod. He gave my hand a firm squeeze before leading me towards the door.

"I'll see you in a while, Bella. Emmett gets off work late tonight so we'll be there a little bit later," Rose yelled to me as we walked out the door. I nodded in acknowledgement as Edward said goodbye to Rose.

:-:-:

I shifted my body on the uncomfortable couch, crossing my legs in an attempt to get comfortable. The cheap fabric scratched at my bare legs, leaving my skin feeling slightly itchy. Music blared around us, the couch vibrating minutely in time with the lewd hip hop beats.

We'd been here, for what I could estimate, was just under an hour. The moment we parked and started walking up to the house, Edward's body noticeably stiffened, tension radiating off of him.

I tried to get him to relax, rubbing my hand that wasn't intertwined with his, up and down his arm in what I hoped was a soothing motion.

We walked in the door and he had been immediately bombarded by various people.

Edward in this environment was completely different than the Edward I had been with in various other situations. He always radiated confidence, but here, in his House, it was a different kind of confidence.

It was obvious he was regarded with much respect and admiration by his fraternity brothers. Despite the fact that I knew he was feeling anxious and tense, I didn't think that anyone else was able to pick up on it.

He greeted his brothers with much enthusiasm and introduced me to all of them. Everyone was very nice and welcoming. My nerves instantly dissipated, but unfortunately Edward was still very tense. I didn't know what to do to get him to lighten up.

Eventually, he had pulled me over to the couch where we were now sitting. In an attempt to get him to relax I tried kissing up and down his neck, nibbling on all the sensitive spots I've learned he liked the most.

A quite groan escaped his lips, only loud enough for me to hear. I licked the shell of his ear, before biting down on gently.

"Jesus Christ, Bella," he cursed, groaning and placing his hand on my thigh, rubbing the exposed skin gently. It felt really good and I felt the familiar warmth spreading through my body and settling in between my thighs.

Maybe it would be a good idea to leave after all. I'm sure he wouldn't object if I wanted to just go back to his place. Well, I knew he _definitely_ wouldn't object.

_No, no. We have to stay._ I made a big deal about coming to this party. We are gonna stay and we're gonna have fun. We're gonna mingle with his friends. We needed to be social with people who _aren't_ related to us.

"Seriously Edward, you don't have to be so close to me. I'm fine," I insisted as his position around me seemed to get more territorial and protective. Occasionally I'd been able to hear people make snide comments about 'the blind girl' but I just shrugged it off. People were jerks. I was used to it. Edward, on the other hand, wasn't, and all the work I had done to get him to relax was fruitless because now he wasn't only anxious, but he seemed to be angry. He was breathing heavy and I swear I could hear his teeth grinding together.

"I managed to get through 22 years of my life being blind. I think I can handle myself," I joked. I could sense that he didn't smile though. I frowned. God, this serious attitude had to go! We were supposed to be having fun! He needed to stop being a total fuddy-wuddy. I wanted to meet his friends. I wanted to be "normal". He was not making this easy for me.

Edward's grip on my thigh tightened and I was absolutely positive he was giving everyone in the room death glares.

I reached up to his face and gently stroked his cheek. When that didn't help ease the tension, I lifted my hand up to his forehead, and sure enough, there was a crease running through the middle. It was his tell-tale sign of tension and stress. I rubbed it lightly with the pad of my thumb before reaching up and running my fingers through his hair. I scratched his scalp lightly and I heard him exhale. It always relaxed him when I did that.

_Hm, maybe I need to loosen him up by getting him to down a few drinks. Sounds good to me. _

"Edward?" I asked, bringing my hand back down to my lap, but not before gently stroking his cheek again.

"Yes, angel?" he asked, slightly distracted.

"I'm thirsty. Will you go get me some of that jungle juice I hear people talking about?"

"Bella, I don't.."

I interrupted, frustrated. I thought we discussed this and he wasn't going to treat me like a baby, like everyone else in my life has ever treated me. "Edward! I'm 22 years-old and perfectly legal to have a drink. Please pull that stick out of your butt and go get me a fucking drink. I'll wait here," I said sternly. I never cursed, so I knew he realized it wasn't worth fighting over. My statement was final.

"Go!" I said, pointing away from us in a direction I hoped was towards the kitchen. I leaned back into the couch, getting myself comfortable.

I heard him let out a heavy breath, and he moved his hand that was on my thigh to tangle in my hair.

"Ok. But wait here. Don't move."

"Where am I going to go?" I asked playfully with a smile. I hoped he was smiling too. "I don't have my cane remember? You're my guide."

He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine in a firm kiss.

"I'll be back in a flash."

And then he was gone.

I sat listening to the music and people going by. I could tell the place was packed just by listening to the bodies move around. I was glad no one had come to sit by me. I think most people knew I was Emmett's sister and 'the blind chick', so I was generally something to be feared, which was ok by me.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been sitting there, but it felt like quite a while and I was starting to wonder where Edward had gone off to.

"Hey Bella, how's it going girl?" I heard a deep voice ask as the body attached to it plopped down next to me on the couch, draping a heavy arm over my shoulders. I stiffened from the feeling of someone I didn't know being so close to me. It suddenly suddenly hit me that I knew the voice.

"Oh hey, Jake. How are you?"

"Good, good. Just enjoying this party. What do you think, Bella, having a good time?" he asked, joy evident in his voice and his words were slightly slurred. He squeezed my shoulder a little, causing my body to be crushed into his uncomfortably. I didn't really like people I didn't know touching me. He smelt of stale beer and sweat. I tried not to gag. He was definitely beyond drunk.

I pushed away from him slightly, needing more personal space than he was currently allowing me.

"Have you seen Edward?" I asked. "He was getting me some of that jungle juice but he's been gone an awfully long time."

"Oh yeah, I saw him in the kitchen talking to a few of the guys and Tanya a minute or so before I sat down here next to you," Jake replied and I could feel the shrug of his shoulders, the rough material of his t-shirt rubbing against the bare skin of my arm.

"Tanya?" I asked, my stomach turning as an unfamiliar emotion rose up inside me. I didn't like the way Jake said her name. I couldn't place exactly what it was that bothered me, but something definitely did.

"Oh yeah, Eddie's ex-girlfriend," Jake replied pretty nonchalantly. He obviously had no idea that I knew nothing about this information. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Edward was talking to his ex-girlfriend? That's what was taking so long? I tried to control the foreign jealous emotions that were bubbling up inside me.

_It's no big deal, Bella. He's just talking to her. _

_Right? _

"Um so how serious were they?" I asked, feeling badly that I was taking advantage of Jake's drunken state to gain more information about Edward behind his back. Why hadn't Edward ever told me about Tanya?

"Yeah they were pretty serious alright. Got quite a history. They dated for about a year and half. Started in high school...," Jake continued to speak, filling me in on what I thought were all the details of Edward and Tanya's relationship. It seemed the boy had no filter when he was intoxicated. He told me some of the good, some of the bad and some stuff I just didn't want to hear. Finally I had to stop him.

I felt sick.

"Jake. Um. Thanks for telling me all this. But I think I need to talk to Edward. Can you go look for him for me? Tell him I need him."

"Oh yeah sure, no problem B," he replied and suddenly the side of my body felt cold, all of Jake's warmth disappeared as he left to go find Edward.

My stomach turned and I just couldn't stop thinking about all of the information Jake just relayed to me. It was a lot to take in all at once. My head was starting to hurt. The music and loud voices were starting to become overwhelming.

Suddenly, the couch shifted again but it wasn't Jake, or Edward, this time. The person was definitely female and was definitely wearing too much perfume. The floral scent was heavy and intoxicating - and not in a good way.

"You're Bella Swan right? Edward Cullen's girlfriend?" the voice asked. I nodded cautiously, wondering who this person could be.

The other side of the couch shifted, another body sitting down next to me on my other side. This person was also female, and she smelt of fruity alcohol and hairspray.

"I told you it was, but you never listen to me," the voice responded.

"We were really hoping to meet you. We heard about you through the grapevine," the girl with too much perfume stated.

I didn't like the way these girls spoke to me. They definitely weren't anxious to meet me because they were friendly. That much was obvious through the tones of their voices - sweet but entirely fake. I was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and prayed that Edward would come for me soon.

**EPOV**

I sighed begrudgingly and went off to get Bella a cup of jungle juice. I really didn't want her drinking here, and definitely not this poison. I knew what the brothers put in it. They didn't call it the 'panty-dropper' for nothing. Two cups of this stuff and college girls threw their inhibitions to the wind. The stuff repulsed me.

But, Bella looked so damn cute all determined to get me to do what she wanted. Who was I to refuse her? I could not say no to her. Which, I realized made me 'pussy-whipped', as Jake would say, but I really didn't give two shits. I'd walk to the end of the earth for my angel, if that's what she wanted. So, off I was to get her a cup of the poison.

I made my way through the insane amount of bodies, all crammed into the various rooms around the around the house, trying to get to the kitchen and grab Bella's stupid fucking jungle juice as quickly as I could.

Upon entering the kitchen, I groaned at the long line that awaited me for the 'punch-bucket'. Which in reality was not a bucket, but a large trash can with all the ingredients to the poison dumped inside of it. I knew there were several gallons of different liquors in there, since I had made it many times myself.

I tapped my foot anxiously on the ground. _Seriously, what the fuck is taking so long? Just grab your cup and move the fuck along._ Drunken people seriously pissed me off, especially when I was sober.

I groaned inwardly. I made me nervous to leave Bella – all gorgeous and vulnerable – alone in this place with all the drunk and horny frat guys and bitchy sorority sisters milling around. It was like throwing her into the lion's den.

Truthfully, the majority of the guys knew she was my girlfriend and not to mess with her. But I wouldn't put it past someone like Newton to talk to her and make her feel uncomfortable. If he did, I'd tear is arms from his body and beat him with them.

God, and did Bella look gorgeous tonight in that black dress. She had just a touch of make up on, which she never wore and frankly didn't need. The dress was actually quite modest when compared to the dresses the skanks in this place were wearing, but pretty scandalous for her. Nonetheless, incredibly sexy. She was so fucking beautiful. Honestly, I couldn't wait to just get her home and in my bed.

Finally, I made it close enough to the bucket to grab a cup and scoop out some of 'the poison'. I only filled it half-full. Hopefully she wouldn't be too pissed. I didn't want her getting sick of this shit. I know the brother's used cheap crap like Popov and Five O'Clock.

The kitchen had become progressively more crowded since I first entered it. Several people recognized me as a brother, and stopped to chat. Some of which included my brothers. I couldn't concentrate on conversations though. I just wanted to get back to Bella. A lot more time had passed than I thought, and I didn't want her to worry about where I was or start to get panicky from being left alone for so long.

I was about to pull out my phone to text Rosalie or Emmett to see if they were here yet, and hopefully keeping Bella company, when an all too familiar and unwelcome voice infiltrated my ears.

"Edward, its been so long since I've seen you."

"Yeah I know. That's not a coincidence," I replied as I glared into the ice blue eyes I had definitely not wanted to see tonight.

Tanya stared back at me, looking just as trashy as the last time I saw her. Seriously, what had I ever seen in this girl? Her lips were painted a deep shade of red and she had far too much eye makeup on. It was not attractive. Her blonde hair was stick straight and looked frizzy on the ends.

"Oh Edward, always such a smart ass." She laughed and I couldn't help the visible cringe that settled across my features. I'd forgotten how annoying that sound was. Like nails on a chalk board, it had the same affect on my ears.

"So, who's the charity case you brought with you?" She smirked at me as she brought the red cup she was holding to her mouth and took a sip of whatever foul liquor she had in there this time. She'd always been quite the lush and I doubt it's changed at all over the last year since I'd seen her.

I glared at her for a long moment, deciding whether or not I should actually engage her in conversation or if I should just walk away now. I figured I'd might as well get this over with now because she'd probably follow me and I didn't want her around Bella.

"She's my girlfriend."

"Oh, please! Edward you can't be serious. The _blind _girl is your _girlfriend_?" she asked incredulously. She said the word 'blind' like it was some kind of rabid contagious disease.

"Yeah, she is," I responded firmly. I knew exactly what she was doing. She was looking for me to engage in a fight with her and I wasn't about to do that. I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of seeing me all riled up because of her. I was over her immature games.

"Well, I'll have to talk to her. See what makes her so special that she nabbed the infamous, Edward Cullen," she responded with fake nonchalance.

I snapped. She got me.

"You stay the fuck away from her, Tanya. Or I swear to God I'll-"

"You'll do what Edward? You know damn well you can't do shit to me. We both know who has more power here and who could, and who has, ruined the other more easily." She raised her eyebrow and smirked at me once again. Daring me to challenge her.

I glared at her for a moment, my hand that wasn't holding Bella's drink, clenching and un-clenching into fists. I was seriously close to punching her fucking face. I would never hit a girl, but Tanya made it increasingly difficult to control my anger.

I stalked toward her so we were just a hairsbreadth apart. "Just leave it alone, Tanya. I don't know what kind of shit you want to try to pull, but just stop. It's not gonna work. Leave me the fuck alone and move on with your life."

I gave her one last hard look before turning around and heading out of the kitchen. I could hear her laughing as I walked away, but I just tuned her out. She was sad and pathetic.

Of course, I wasn't lucky enough to make it through the crowded rooms and back to Bella without someone stopping me to talk and see how I was doing and what's been going on. I should have expected this since I'd rarely spent any time around the House over the last several months. It was good to catch up with some of the guys, but I knew I'd already been away from Bella far longer than I wanted to be.

Demetri was one of the many guys who had stopped me to talk. He was, of course, busting my balls about not being around - just like everyone else. I promised him I'd come around more often. He told me he saw Bella talking with Jake a little while ago and I breathed a sigh of relief. Jake would watch out for her. Demetri joked about how fuck hot Bella was and wondered what the hell she was doing with me. He said he was going to go and put the moves on her and steal her away from me.

Immediately, feelings of jealousy and possession ran through me, even though I knew the feelings were unwarranted. He was obviously kidding. Demetri was one of the coolest guys I knew and probably the least douchey out of all the brothers. He'd never do something like that. But I couldn't help those feelings. I cared about her and I didn't want to share her with anyone else.

Finally we parted ways and I headed back into the room where I left Bella.

My eyes flew to the couch where I left Bella sitting, and I expected to see her sitting there with Jake, but instead I didn't see either of them anywhere.

I instantly panicked. Where the hell did she go? I whipped my head around, searching frantically for her when all of a sudden I was shoved into a nearby wall. The cup of juice that I still clutched in my hand, flew out of my hand, splattering sticky liquid all over the floor and my pants.

_What the fuck?_

I looked up to see Emmett staring at me, anger and fire burning in his eyes.

Before I knew it, his fist connected with my face, an all too familiar sharp pain shooting through my skull. I immediately bent over at the waist and clutched my head before yelling out in pain and groaning.

"I told you that if you hurt my baby sister I'd make you feel pain."

"What the fuck Emmett?" I cried out, and lifted my head up to glare at him. Jesus Christ. "What do you mean, if I hurt her? I don't know what you're talking about. I left to get her a drink like she asked and when I came back she's fucking gone!"

"She left with Rose ten minutes ago. She was crying and said she needed to leave."

"She was crying?" My heart started to pound in my chest as I patted down my pockets, looking for my car keys. I needed to get to her. I needed to see her and make sure she was ok. I needed to comfort her. I needed to hold her. Something. Anything.

"Where are you going?" Emmett asked, pushing me on the chest and causing me to stumble backwards.

"What do you mean, where am I going? I'm going to find Bella. I need to talk to her. If she's upset, she needs me," I growled out at him.

"No you're not, Edward." Emmett's voice had softened only slightly, though his eyes still held an angry edge to them. "She doesn't want to see you right now. So you best respect it." He gave me a warning glare before shoving me again and walking away.

:-:-:

I couldn't stop pacing around my apartment.

I'd called Bella at least thirty times in between leaving the party and entering my apartment ten minutes ago.

She wasn't answering.

I was so fucking confused and I had no idea what was going on. Had someone hurt her? If so, then why isn't she answering my calls? What if Rosalie had to take her to the hospital because she was so badly hurt?

Panic started to seep in and I realized I was being ridiculous. If she was at the hospital, Rosalie would definitely call me. Wouldn't she?

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

A shrill ringing sliced through the quiet of the room. My eyes snapped open and I raced towards where my phone sat on the couch.

Bella's name flashed across the screen and I answered it as quickly as I could, the phone fumbling slightly out of my grip. When I finally had a good grip on it I brought it up to my ear.

"Bella," I breathed out, relief instantly flooding my muscles, "I've been so worried about you. I've practically been going out of my mind. Why did you leave without me? Are you ok? Emmett told me you were upset. God, Bella, I've been so scared." I couldn't stop the words from leaving my mouth.

"Edward...I," a sob broke through phone causing the relief to instantly dissipate; tension immediately filling my muscles again. I could tell she was trying to formulate words but she was crying too hard and they were coming out broken and strangled.

I was halfway out the door, keys in hand, missing shoes, just not giving a shit and needing to get to my angel, when she finally got words out. Words that I never expected to hear and they incapacitated me, causing me to stumble backwards and lean against the wall before sliding down and resting my head in my hands.

"I don't want to see you. I need space, Edward."

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**A/N:** Good news! Next chapter is already written. It just needs to be betaed so the emo won't last long =)

I wanted to let everyone know that I am taking part in **The Fandom Gives Back** charity auction (See www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)com for more information). I'm offering up any o/s to the highest bidder. It can be original, an AE outtake or a continuance of one of the o/s's I've already written. Bidding is during the week that Eclipse is released. Let me know if you have any questions!


	17. Chapter 17 Everything

A/N: Thank you to LittleClareStar and BellaMadonna for their usual awesome beta jobs! And to Silver, Maria and Laura for giving me their opinion on this chapter!

I'm running late to work, but wanted to get this out to all of you! =)

Important **FGB** info at the bottom!

p.s. I listened to this song (Everything by Lifehouse) on repeat while writing this story. You might want to listen to it. Makes the chapter more powerful =)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or it's characters. Just having fun with them.

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**Chapter 17 - Everything**

Find Me Here  
Speak To Me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That's leading me  
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.  
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.  
You are the light to my soul.  
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need  
You're everything,everything  
You're all I want your all I need  
You're everything, everything.  
You're all I want you're all I need.  
You're everything, everything  
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

- Everything -Lifehouse

**EPOV**

Two days. Two fucking days had gone by and she still hadn't talked to me. I'd called her incessantly and I'd not heard one damn word. I was going crazy. I _literally_ felt crazy.

I did nothing but sit on my couch and stare at my phone, willing it to ring. Oh scratch that - I did get up from the couch now and again to pace the room.

Sleep was sparse. I couldn't eat because my stomach was in knots the majority of the time and my mind kept racing with unwanted thoughts.

For about the millionth time, I clambered up off from the couch and began pacing back and forth repeatedly, surely wearing a rut in the carpet. I didn't give a fuck. I didn't know what to do do.

I needed to see her. I just needed to. I turned and walked towards the kitchen, grabbing my car keys and heading towards the door.

I couldn't take this silence any longer. Consequences be damned.

Emmett could kiss my ass and beat me to a bloody pulp. If she didn't want me anymore, then nothing else mattered.

I _needed _to fucking see her. I just needed to know that she was okay. The fact that she hadn't been answering my calls over the last two days was fucking _killing_ me, slowly, from the inside out. I couldn't think. I couldn't eat. She was my everything and she wasn't talking to me, not telling me what was going on. I'd never experienced pain and confusion quite like this. I didn't know what to do with myself. I'd never felt this way before, never felt so lost. Until Bella, no one had ever consumed me the way she did.

I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged, squeezing my eyes tightly shut.

I'd been ignoring phone calls from my mother, father, and even Alice. If it wasn't Bella on the other line, I didn't give a shit about what anyone else had to say. I knew Alice was worried about me, but I couldn't deal with talking to her right now.

My father was probably pissed because I blew off the last two days of volunteering and I'm sure his spies at the hospital filled him in. But honestly, I didn't care. That shit didn't matter to me right now. Only one thing mattered to me right now and I was going to see her, Emmett be damned.

The drive to Bella's was a haze. When I pulled up in front of the house, my earlier bravado faded a bit as I saw Emmett's truck parked in the driveway. Fuck. This would have been a lot easier if he wasn't here. I could handle Rosalie.

_Fuck it_.

I pushed back my fresh bout of nerves as I hopped out of the car and practically sprinted towards their front door. I made it halfway up the driveway, slowing my pace to barely walking, before Emmett opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch. Anger seemed to be the predominante emotion etched across his face.

_Did he get bigger over the last two days?_

I swallowed thickly and shook it off.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Cullen?" he grunted, crossing his arms across his chest and blocking the front door with his huge body.

"I'm here to talk to Bella," I told him, meeting his semi-intimidating gaze. I wasn't going to back down from this; Bella was too important. I wasn't leaving here without talking to her.

"I don't think so," he stated simply, shaking his head.

"Emmett, I need to talk to her. She wont answer her phone."

"I think you've done enough damage here."

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DID!" I screamed, grabbing the ends of my hair with my fingers and tugging. I let out a frustrated growl. I probably looked like a crazy person but I really didn't give a shit. I _felt_ crazy.

"Let him in Emmett," Bella's soft voice floated out of the doorway and my heart instantly started pounding in my chest. I could hear the underlying ache in it's tone and it made my stomach twist in pain.

"Bella, I dont think-," Emmett started, but Bella quickly interrupted him.

"I said let him in." Her voice was firm and I couldn't help but smile.

_That's my angel._

Emmett let out a exasperated sigh and shook his head, stepping out of the way for me to enter. I all but sprinted through the door way, where I saw Bella standing in the middle of the living room.

My heart fell into my stomach.

Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, her eyes dull and lifeless and surrounded by puffy purple skin. She obviously hadn't been sleeping well either.

"Bella," I whispered and walked towards her slowly. I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and make her safe.

She stopped me, holding her hand out in front of her so I couldn't advance any further, the soft pressure against my chest crushing my heart even further. God, what did I do?

"Please talk to me, Angel," I whispered, my voice pleading.

She sighed and jerked her head, wordlessly motioning for me to follow her. She trailed her fingers along the wall as we walked down the hallway and headed into her bedroom.

Once inside her room, she sat down on her bed, bringing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her shins.

I slowly sat down across from her, keeping what I hoped was a comfortable enough distance for her between us.

We sat in silence for several minutes before I finally just decided to start speaking.

"What's going on Bella? I thought we were happy."

"We were happy," she replied softly.

"Did something happen at that party? I dont understand what changed and brought on this sudden need for space. What did I do?" I asked, just jumping straight to the point. Once the words started falling from my mouth, I couldn't stop them.

She shrugged her shoulders and I watched as tears started to fall down her cheeks. Without thinking, acting only on the instinct to satiate the need to touch and comfort her, I brought my hands up to wipe away the tears. She flinched away from my touch, taking my heart with her as she moved. Seeing her react that way to my fingers on her skin was like a kick in the gut. It was worse than seventy-five thousand punches to the face from Emmett. I was disgusted with myself. _I_was the cause of these tears. I was the biggest asshole on the planet. I hurt the most important person in my life. The most beautiful and sweet and amazing girl I had ever known. My world. And I didn't even know what happened or how I did it. All I knew was I had to make it better.

"It's...it's not something _you_ did really. More like I just needed space to think...," she whispered shrugging her shoulders again. She was being so cryptic. This was so unlike her. She always talked to me and told me what was going on.

"Think about what? Bella, please talk to me. It's killing me. I'm so confused and I don't understand," I begged, clenching my fists together and fighting back the urge to touch her. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable but I needed to feel her skin, to touch her, to help me ground myself. "Bella, please. Please let me touch you."

Tentatively, she reached her hand out to me, and the light tremor didn't escape me. I grabbed it like a dehydrated man devoured a cool glass of water, clutching at whatever she would give me. I intertwined our fingers together gently and waited for her to speak.

"I just think that maybe we're moving too fast...," she trailed off as she took a deep breath and frowned.

"Okay...," I replied, confused. If she thought we were moving too fast we could slow down. I'd move at whatever pace she wanted. I just needed her with me.

"And I feel like I just don't know you as well as I thought I did and that...scares me..." She was being cryptic again and fuck it was starting to make me mad. I wish she would just come out with it already. I took a deep, steadying breath, keeping my emotions in check. I could not and I would not get angry with her.

"Bella, how do you expect to get to know me better if you wont talk to me?" I asked, trying to keep the snark out of my tone. I failed.

Her eyebrows furrowed together and she nodded. "I know. I just needed time to think. To sort out everything going on in my head."

"You do know me, baby. I tell you everything."

"Do you?" she countered, her voice a bit incredulous.

"Of course I do," I responded.

She snorted, a sound of disbelief, and shook her head. "Don't lie to me, Edward."

I stared at her in confusion and ran the pad of my thumb soothing against the back of her hand, relishing in the feel of her skin against mine. "I don't lie to you, Bella."

"Alright, I guess you technically haven't. More like _omit_ information."

I studied her face, trying to figure out the emotion that was there. Was it anger? Annoyance? Disappointment? I couldn't be sure.

"Bella, would you just spit it out already? I'm confused as fuck right now," I spat out, running my free hand through my hair yet again.

"Why did you never tell me about Tanya? Jessica? _All_ those other girls?" she asked, her eyes started to fill with tears again and she pulled her hand out of mine to fiercely wipe them away. "Why did I have to find out from _your _best friend_,_ that you had a serious girlfriend of a year and half who you got _pregnant_," she practically spits the last word out at me.

I stared at her in shock and then suddenly I became filled with so much rage at Jake for telling Bella about that, and then obviously not even telling her the whole fucking story.

I shook my head frantically back and forth as if she could see me and then began speaking as fast as I could. "Tanya wasn't really pregnant. She faked it because she was worried about loosing me. I was having second thoughts about my relationship with her. She made my life a living hell our first year of college. You have no idea," I told her frantically.

"You're right, I don't. Because you never told me." she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against the wall.

"You're right, I didn't and I should have. But Bella, it wasn't really relevant to any of the conversations we've ever had in the past. What was I going to tell you, 'oh by the way, I thought I got my ex-girlfriend pregnant but it turns out she was just a lying bitch, trying to get money out of me and my family'? I mean, when exactly was the right time for that?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm, but annoyance and frustration within me was quickly boiling up to the surface.

"You still should have said something. I shouldn't have had to walk into that party without any information. You knew full well that I could possibly have run into Tanya or any other of your past _conquests_." She shook her head back and forth and frowned, making air quotes with her fingers when she spoke the word 'conquests'.

"My _what_?" I practically shouted. She flinched back from the tone of my voice, but my anger was now at it's boiling point. Where the fuck was she getting this shit from?

"Oh yeah. You also failed to mention the part where you slept with half of sorority row," she yelled out her voice shaking. Whether it was from anger or something else I couldn't be sure.

"Did Jake tell you that?" I asked, clenching and un-clenching my fists. I swear to fucking God he was a dead man if he did. I mean what the fuck was he thinking?

"No, but I did have a lovely conversation with Tanya and Jessica."

"Tanya talked to you?" I yelled. I blatantly told her to stay away from Bella and she still did it anyway. I don't know why I was surprised by this. It was her mission to make my life a living hell.

"Edward, do you realize what it was like for me... to have two girls I don't even know come up to me and tell me about their physical relationships with you? To talk about your relations with other girls? To have to hear about that from their mouths? How much that _hurt_ me? _Devastated_ me? I just don't know why you hid that from me." She shook her head back and forth as more tears began to fall from her eyes again.

"Bella, I swear I didn't sleep with-"

"Please just let me get this all out," she interrupted, holding her hand up and indicating she wanted me to stop talking.

"I needed space because I needed time to think about me, about you, about _us._ My conversation with Tanya, while painful, also made me realize how incredibly fast this was all going and how much we still have to learn about each other, how much I still don't know about you. Not that it's a bad thing, but it still scared me because I felt like I _did_ know you and suddenly I'm being bombarded by all this new information and it was just too much for me to handle. I was overloaded. You just can't even comprehend what that did to me."

I could feel my heart clenching in pain with every word she spoke and every tear that leaked down her face.

"I found myself falling for you so quickly, caring about you so much. I've been having all of these feelings that I didn't know how to handle. I've spent my whole life trying to be independent from others, showing people that my eye sight doesn't effect my ability to be independent and suddenly you swoop in and change all of that. I find that I _need_ you. I need you like I need air to breathe and I need my cane to guide me through this world. I realized that I need your guidance and that scares the crap out of me, Edward. I felt weak. I...I just didn't know what to do. I'm still so confused."

A small sob escaped her lips before she spoke again. "Plus, all the stuff that happened with your father a few weeks ago – and I know you said that what he thinks doesn't matter. But Edward, it should. He's your father and I want all of your family to like me. I just…I started to feel _really_ emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted."

Her head was tilted downward as though she was looking at her hands that were intertwined in her lap. I extended my arm forward and took a hold of her hand in mine as I scooted a little bit closer to her on the bed. She let out a shaky breath, but didn't stop me from gently taking a hold of her wrist and bringing her hand up to my face.

I wanted her to 'see' me when I told her what I was about to say. She needed to know how utterly sincere I was. Without hesitation, almost as though they were moving on instinct alone, her hands began to caress my face, running over the stubble of my jaw, her fingers tracing over the circles that were sure to be present underneath my eyes. I was glad she couldn't see me. I looked like shit.

"The skin below your eyes is puffy," she murmured, a frown pulling at the edges of her mouth.

"I slept like shit the last few nights," I admitted. All I could think about was her. Sleep hadn't been a priority.

"Bella I want you to listen to me," I started, trailing my hands up and down her forearms, helping to keep her arms steady as she held my face.

"You are independent, and needing someone in your life doesn't mean that you are _weak_. I need you, too. God, how I _need_ you. These last few days were hell for me. I need you Bella, but I don't think that makes me weak. It makes me stronger. Your support does that for me. I wouldn't have been able to get through these last two months without your support. I wouldn't have been able to stand up to my father and I wouldn't have wanted to search out my bio dad if it wasn't for you. And Carlisle's opinion _doesn't_ matter. _You_ make me a better person, Bella. Yeah, so we've only known each other two months? So we have some things to work through and more things we need to learn about each other? But who cares? Relationships aren't easy, Bella. I don't want it to be easy, because working for it is what makes it all worth while."

I took a deep breath and watched her face carefully as I let the next six words fall from my lips, without any hesitation. "I'm in love with you, Bella."

She gasped, her hand ripping from my face to cover her mouth as fresh tears began falling down her cheeks. I scooted closer to her, taking her face in my hands, rubbing the tears away with the pads of my thumbs. "I love you, Bella Swan," I whispered again as I studied her face. Her lower lip quivered and I brought my mouth down to gently take it between my lips, kissing her sweetly and hoping to calm her.

My heart soared as her mouth slowly began to move with mine. I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my lips, even if I wanted to.

I pulled back just far enough so I could speak, "I'm sorry, Bella. We should have talked about my...history... with other girls. We should have talked about Tanya. And we will, I promise. One thing I need you to know right now, because I dont want you doubting my feelings for you and I don't want you disgusted with me. But I swear, cross my heart, I've slept with three people my whole life. The rest? All rumors and lies spread by Tanya," I confessed, she needed to know the truth. I couldn't let Tanya taint Bella's impression of me. Bella needed to know how sincere I was, and how much she meant to me. "Bella, none of those girls meant anything to me. Not like you do. You are it for me, baby."

I stared at her for a moment and watched as she took a deep breath, exhaling heavily. "I love you, too," she whispered, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

I instantly swooped her up into my arms, holding her tightly to my body. I was smiling so widely I thought my face might crack. Her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, holding me just as firmly. Her fingers tangled into my hair as she buried her face in the nook between my neck and shoulder. I felt her lips place a gentle kiss there and my body came alive. I loved her so much, and to know that she returned that feeling, that she didn't hate me, made my whole body feel like it was on fire with love.

"Do you want to talk some more? About what happened at the party?" I asked her after a few quiet moments. She shook her head back and forth against my chest.

"I think I'm good for today. There's always tomorrow. I'm exhausted," she mumbled through a yawn.

"Me, too," I whispered, kissing the top of her head. "Can we nap together?" I asked tentatively, wondering if, despite our decelerations of love, she still needed space.

She pushed away from me slightly so I could look down at her face, and smiled. "I'd like that," she whispered as she nodded her head.

I wrapped her in my arms again before leaning backwards and pulling us up to the top of the bed so we could rest comfortably. I pulled Bella's blankets up around our bodies as she snuggled into my body, her face buried into my chest. I hugged her tightly before resting my chin atop her head, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. A tired smile fell upon my face before I tiredly whispered once more, "I love you, Bella Swan."

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A/N: So? Thoughts? The party will not be gone into detail from Bella's POV. I'll touch on it briefly next chapter but the conversation between Bella and the girls will not be in detail. I didn't really feel it necessary to prolong the pain and angst. =)

But if you _really_ want to know what happened in detail, you can buy me at FGB. =)

As I mentioned last chapter, I'm participating in **THE FANDOM GIVES BACK** (www. thefandomgivesback. blogspot. com). Highest bidder gets a o/s (original, AE Outtake or continuance of one of my other o/s's). Bidding starts Friday June 25 at 10am EST and goes till July 2nd at 11:59pm. The threads for the bidding will be at: www. thefandomgivesback. com. Follow me on Twitter or PM me if you want more information! Make sure you check out all the other authors who are up for auction as well!


	18. Chapter 18 Everglow

***waves to those still with me* Sorry for the horrific delay in updating. Writers block has been totally kicking my ass. I'm back on track now and expect Ch. 19 should come much MUCH sooner. It's already written and just needs to be beta'ed. =)**

**Oh and we missed AE's one-year anniversary! *throws confetti* I thought I'd be done with this by now. *sigh* But I digress... life gets in the way sometimes. Thank you to everyone who has shown me support since the beginning! I puffy heart you all. **

**Much love to BellaMadonna, Clare and Silver.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I think that much is obvious.**

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Chapter 18 – The Everglow

We begin, breathe in.  
Here's our chance to go for something.  
So this is where we win, and take the game.  
No blame. There's a neon light inside that shines.  
And tearing down the walls in the way.

I think that we've got what it takes  
to get this heart start beating again.  
So take it all the way.

Whoa, whoa.  
And our hearts are on The Everglow.  
Deep inside we both know it.  
Everything's hanging on this moment.

The _Everglow – Mae_

**BPOV**

I giggled softly as Edward's fingers traced gently along my back and sides, shooting tingles down my spine and causing butterflies to spin around in my stomach.

"What?" he asked, his chest shaking as he laughed too, but he didn't stop the wandering of his fingers.

"Nothing. It just tickles," I replied, shaking my head back and forth, burying my face into his chest and breathing him in. My head rested against his chest, his arm wrapped loosely around my side as his fingers continued to trace gentle and lazy patterns underneath my t-shirt. It felt nice to lay with him like this, like time didn't matter, like we had nothing else in the world to do.

At that moment there wasn't anything that we needed to get done. It was Saturday, neither of us had to work or had any other obligations. It was on days like this that everything felt right, perfect, like this was exactly where I needed to be.

It was the first time we'd spent any time together in a week. We had decided to slow things down after the frat party from hell, as I was affectionately calling it, and we were deliberately not spending every waking minute of every day together. We had decided, together, that healthy space is what we'd needed.

I spent more time with Rosalie, more time at the library, I played my violin more often and threw myself into the Special Olympics event that was rapidly approaching. With only a month left to go, planning and helping out with the event took up a lot of my time.

Edward had been spending more time with his friends, even Jake - who he'd eventually forgiven after much groveling on Jake's part. He was also spending more time with his family. Edward and his father were even working through some of their issues - albeit very slowly. Slow progress was still progress.

Edward and I had found a balance, something we'd been lacking before.

Since the party, just over a month ago, we'd spent a lot of time talking - _really_ talking. He explained to me about Tanya and their incredibly complex history in great detail, probably more detail than I actually wanted, but I appreciated his honesty. It was hard to hear all that she had put him through, and while it seemed he no longer could stand her, he was surprisingly not bitter. He over came a lot, and I believed he was a stronger and more mature person because of it. I now understood his hesitance to tell me about it in the first place; he didn't want that part of his life to effect my opinion of him. Truthfully, it didn't and it wouldn't have had he told me sooner. But there was no way for him to know that.

We both had our insecurities that needed to be dealt with.

Slowly, I'd been learning to open myself up to him and be honest with both myself and him, about my insecurities - some I didn't even know existed.

To be completely truthful, as much as I hated myself for how much I'd overreacted that night and the few days following, I wouldn't have changed it for the world. It was what it was, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I'd spent a lot of time talking with Rosalie over the last few weeks; her advice invaluable. Initially, I hadn't wanted to talk to anyone about it, and knowing me as well as she did, she gave me the space I needed to sort out the war going on inside my head on my own. Sometimes she knew me better than I knew myself. Emmett on the other hand, just didn't understand. He couldn't seem to get past his belief that Edward had messed up and caused me pain.

The truth of the matter was that we had caused each other pain. We both messed up. I learned my lesson and I think he did as well.

We'd been working on our communication skills, both of us realizing no matter how much we had talked, we hadn't really _communicated. _ I'd come to realize that I shouldn't have just run away, assuming the worse. I spent a lot of time blaming myself for overreacting, but Rose helped me see that my reaction was perfectly rational. I couldn't help how I felt. Eventually, I agreed with her point of view. Had I spoken to him that night, without time to cool off or think about what I wanted and needed, things probably would have been a lot worse. Granted, I probably shouldn't have blatantly ignored his calls, but when it came down to it, I just didn't have any experience with relationships. I had been at a total loss and did the only thing I knew how to do. I hid. I let my fears and insecurities get the better of me. I should have trusted Edward, and I did, but the trust had slipped to the back of my mind.

I firmly believed that everything happens for a reason. Edward and I needed to go through this to get us to where we needed to be.

I sighed contentedly, slipping my hand underneath Edward's t-shirt and resting my hand flat against the warmth of his chest. He continued to run lazy circles with the tips of his fingers as he rested his chin against the top of my head, his breath making my hair flutter softly as he exhaled.

After several moments, his breathing became even, his fingers slowing their circuit across my skin and I began to wonder if he had fallen asleep.

"Bella?" he whispered softly, shifting our bodies closer together as he wrapped his arm tightly around me.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, slowly beginning to trail my fingers along his chest, enjoying the feeling of his skin, rough, yet soft at the same time, against my finger-tips.

"I uh... I have something to tell you...," he whispered, his voice surprisingly nervous. My hand stilled against his chest as I wondered what he could possibly need to tell me that would make him so nervous. I could feel his heart moving rapidly and thudding loudly in my ear.

"What is it?"

"I uh, I found my father. My biological one, I mean."

Immediately, my head snapped up and I flung myself onto him, blanketing his body with mine. I grabbed his face in between my hands, needing to 'see' him in this moment, this incredibly huge and monumental moment.

"You did? When?" I asked excitedly, trailing my fingers across his face. I could feel the tension in his body, telling me that he wasn't nearly as excited and optimistic about this as I was.

"Just a few days ago," he whispered, clearing his throat and placing his hands on my back, tangling his fingers into my hair. "I found out he's in a band. They are actually playing at a bar here in Ann Arbor next weekend."

This was huge. I knew Edward had been searching for information on his biological father since that night he first admitted to me that Carlisle was not his real dad, and the reasons why he put so much pressure on Edward. It was slow going, as Edward had refused to ask his mother or Alice for help. I wasn't even sure if they knew he was searching for him.

"Are you going to go to see him?" I asked softly, running my fingers through his hair. He let out a shaky breath and his body shifted and I could feel as he shrugged his shoulders in uncertainty.

"You'll regret it if you don't," I said, as he sighed and continued to run his fingers through my hair.

"I know, I'm just..." he trailed off and I brought the hand that was in his hair back down to his face, the lines in his forehead were creased with what I could only assume was worry.

"Just what?" I asked, prodding him slightly to open up to me about this. I needed to know how he's feeling.

"I'm scared," he answered lowly and quickly.

"That's understandable."

"What if he doesn't want to meet me? What if he hates me?"

"What if he does want to meet you, and he's worried you'll hate him?" I countered. His fears were understandable, and entirely possible. But I didn't want him to base his decision on his fears. I truly believed that if he didn't take this opportunity straight away, he'd regret it for the rest of his life: he'd always wonder what he missed out on.

"Will you come with me?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course I will," I responded, giving him a smile.

"Thank you," he whispered, capturing my lips with his, kissing me softly. "It means so much to me, to have your support."

"I love you," I whispered.

Butterflies swirled around in my stomach as he whispered he loved me too, just like they had the first time he'd told me. It had come as such a welcome surprise, my response back to him leaving my lips before I even knew I was saying the words. It felt so natural. My feelings for Edward ran deep, into my bones and tissues. The emotions inside me could only be described as love. Everything we'd been through since we'd met only made our relationship stronger.

:-:-:-:

"Did you tell Alice what we were doing tonight?" I asked Edward as he intertwined his fingers with mine. We were in the car, heading toward where Edward would be seeing his biological father for the first time since he was a young child.

"No I didn't."

His tone was short and clipped, but I didn't take it personally. I knew he was extremely nervous and stressed out. I already knew he hadn't told Alice and I understood why. She had no interest in seeing him again, and she would have only tried to persuade Edward not to go. Alice didn't understand Edward's need to meet their biological father. She had told him a long time ago that it would only make Edward pissed off and hurt. Maybe she was right, but this was something he needed to do. He needed to do it for himself, regardless of the outcome.

Part of me hoped this would help Edward and Carlisle's relationship. It pained me to see their relationship be as strained as it was. I'd give anything to spend just another minute with either of my parents. Life was too short to be angry and fighting with loved ones, something I've learned the hard way several times throughout my life - and a mistake I would be actively trying to not make again.

The rest of the ride to the bar was silent and I decided to give Edward the space he needed to organize his thoughts and feelings. I paid close attention to his breathing and the way he held my hand, wanting to know how he was really feeling, even if he wasn't going to verbally express it to me.

Edward's grip on my hand tightened as we pulled into a parking spot, the car jerking to a stop and jolting me forward. I unbuckled my seat belt, and heard Edward do the same, but he made no motion to turn off the car or move from his spot.

Slowly, I rubbed my thumb against his palm in what I hoped was a soothing motion. I took my hand out of his and slid it up his arm until I reached his head, tangling my fingers in his hair at the base of his neck.

"It's going to be okay," I whispered.

"I know," he whispered back.

"You're already prepared for the worst," I pointed out, not sure if that was helpful or not.

He laughed. "Yeah, you're right again."

Edward kissed me gently, moving his lips slowly with mine. I scratched at his scalp with my nails, causing him to let out a contented hum into my mouth.

We kissed slowly and softly for a few minutes before I pulled away, my lips brushing faintly against his as I spoke. "Are you ready?"

"Hm, I guess. Or we could just hang out in here all night. I think I like where this is going."

I felt his smirk against my lips and I tugged at his hair in teasing disapproval.

"Edward," I scolded, shaking my head and laughing.

"Alright, alright, fine."

Within ten minutes we were sitting at a table in the bar. Edward's hands hadn't left my body since we arrived. He moved from having his arm around my waist, to his fingers intertwined with mine or tangled into my hair at the base of my neck. I think it soothed him to have that contact with me, and I definitely wasn't complaining.

The stale scent of alcohol, cigarettes and sweat permeated the room. I hated coming to bars for this very reason. I did my best to ignore it, leaning into Edward's side and turning my face to breathe in the scent of him. Loud chatter and music floated throughout the room as we waited for Edward's father's band to take the stage.

Before we knew it, the crowd hushed and Edward tensed next to me. I placed my hand on his thigh, gently gesturing for him to stop the rapid bouncing.

I so desperately wished I could see what was going on - both the look on Edward's face and what was happening on the stage.

"I'm Edward Masen, and we are Soul Makers. I hope you enjoy what we have in store for you this evening."

I stiffened, hearing Edward's biological dad speaking. His voice and Edward's were so similar it was almost eerie.

"Tell me what you are thinking," I said to Edward, leaning toward him.

It was so completely obvious that Edward's musical talent came from his biological father. His voice was rich and pure, while being slightly gritty - very similar to Edward's. His father obviously had some vocal training that Edward had not had. But at the same time, I could hear the similarities. It was honestly creeping me out.

"It's like looking into a mirror 25 years from now," he whispered in my ear. "He's got the same color hair as I do, and even though the darkness of the room, I can see the brightness of his green eyes. It's just surreal, Bella."

Edward's voice cut off, thick with emotion. He took my hand again and I snuggled in closer to him, letting myself get absorbed in the harsh yet harmonious beats and letting Edward have this time for him. Soul Makers were incredibly original - a rhythm and blues band with a rock n' roll edge. It was incredibly interesting and I found myself transfixed.

All too soon, the band finished their set, voicing their thanks and goodbyes and letting the crowd know they would be doing a meet and greet outside on the patio. I heard the pounding of their feet across the stage as they exited, loud cheers and applause thundering in their wake. Top 40 music replaced the blues harmonies that had just previously filled the room.

I spun my body slightly in the chair so I could place my hands on Edward's face, "Well, what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know if I can do this," he whispered, his voice cracking. He began to bounce his leg up and down, his jean covered thigh rubbing against my bare one in rapid succession. He placed his hands around each of my wrists, holding my palms to his cheeks and leaning his forehead against mine.

"You don't have to," I whispered back, kissing his lips softly.

He exhaled a heavy breath, and shook his head back and forth. "Yes, yes I do."

"Okay, then let's go meet your father," I told him, sliding my fingers away from his face and giving him another kiss. "Its going to be okay."

"I know, Bella, I know."

Edward kissed me again before standing up and pulling me with him. He grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers together as he began to lead me through the crowded room and toward what I could only assume was the patio.

A rush of cold air hit my face and my stomach suddenly began to fill with knots, my heart pounding fast. If I was feeling this way, I could only imagine what Edward must be experiencing. He gripped my hand tighter, as if he had read my mind, and affirmed to me that he was feeling just as nervous as I was, if not more so. I ran my thumb across his palm, hoping to ease some of the tension that was tight in his body.

I was anxious for Edward, wanting so badly for this to work out for him, for his father to accept him.

We stopped suddenly, and I walked into Edward's back, my head hitting him right between the shoulder blades.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry, baby," he whispered as he kissed my forehead and then quickly turned around again. "There's a line," he explained. He bounced around next to me, fidgeting, swinging our arms back and forth.

I ran a hand up and down his arm, tugging on it so he would lean down toward me. I puckered my lips, making a kissey sound and causing him to laugh. Exactly the sound I was hoping for. He kissed my lips, and then my cheek before whispering in my ear. "Thank you for being here with me. I love you."

I nodded, not needing to speak. There was nothing to say. He knew I loved him and that I would do anything for him. I would support him in anyway that I could.

"We're almost to the front of the line. Holy shit! I feel like I'm going to throw up," Edward whispered, the bouncing continuing. I placed my hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles.

"Breathe, Edward, breathe." I continued to rub circles on his back but applying more pressure in my movements.

"Oh fuck, fuck," Edward muttered, taking several deep breaths rapidly.

"Not that fast or you're going to pass out and I don't know CPR."

He chuckled softly, but the sound was laced with so much anxiety that it made me feel physically sick with worry.

"This is it," Edward mumbled, more to himself than I think for me.

And with a tight squeeze of his hand, I know we are standing in front of his father now, because Edward's whole body is vibrating and his voice is shaky as he speaks.

"Um, Edward, uh, Mr. Masen...sir," Edward was stumbling over his words and I couldn't help but cringe internally. I'd never heard him like this. Edward never had any difficulty with words. My heart ached as I listened to his voice shake and falter. "My name is Edward, uh Edward Cullen. But I suppose you might be more familiar with my previous last name, uh because its the same as yours. Its me, um, I'm … " he paused and took a huge breath, "I'm your son."

* * *

**GAH! I know. I'm such a h00r. Sorry for the cliffie but it had to be done. ;)**

**Ch. 19 will be a bit longer and definitely worth the wait. *hint hint hint***


	19. Chapter 19 All Around Me

Big thanks and shout-out goes to BellaMadonna, Clare, Silver, Maria and Laura for all of their feedback on this chapter.

I've been dying to use this chapter's song for this fic since I started writing it.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight, I think that's been established by now.

* * *

Chapter 19 - All Around Me 

My hands are searching for you

My arms are outstretched towards you

I feel you on my fingertips

My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being

Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me

And you whisper you love me

And I begin to fade

Into our secret place

- _All Around Me - Flyleaf _

**EPOV**

I'd dreamed and fantasized about this moment for the majority of my life. I'd always wondered what it would be like to come face to face with the man who shared the same genes as me. I wondered what similarities we still shared, if I still looked like him. I had a picture of him in my room at my parent's house, tucked away in a shoe-box in the back of my closet. No one knew I had it and how frequently I looked at it.

In the photograph I was just a toddler. It must have been taken just before he left. I couldn't really place the exact time as I was really too young to remember that day. I was perched on his shoulders, my hands buried in the crazy mop of hair on top of his head that so strongly resembled how mine currently was. Alice was in our mother's arms as they both leaned against Edward Sr. We all looked so happy and content; a picture perfect family. I wondered now, for not the first time, what had changed? What had caused him to leave us when we all looked so happy and content? This was my chance to find out.

The desire to meet this guy, the man currently standing before me, mouth agape and unsure, had been strong for so long. I just hid that desire well. Bella didn't even know the extent of it. Hell, I didn't even know the extent of it until this very moment in time.

My hand still gripped Bella's hand tightly, my palm sweaty and hot from the anxiety streaming throughout my body.

"Excuse me?" he asked, his eyes wide with surprise and uncertainty as they darted between Bella, me, and the exit.

"Um, it's me, Edward, your son," I responded my eyes looking everywhere but his face. "I wondered if maybe we could talk."

The space between us was quickly becoming thick with uncomfortable air. Having made the initial move, I now wasn't sure what to say or do.

Bella's thumb continued to rub circles along my palm, reassuring me that I was not alone.

"I, uh, don't know what there is to say," he replied, turning his awkward gaze from me and back to his equipment, moving quickly while he packed it up.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice rising, anger starting to boil up in me. Of course there were things to say. Apart from anything else, I had so many questions. So much I wanted to know about him, about why he left us. I wanted to know how he could do that to us. I wanted to know what he had done since he'd left. I wanted to know about his music. I wanted him to know about mine. I had so many questions that only he could answer.

He let out a heavy sigh and shrugged his shoulders. "Why did you come here?"

"I told you. I wanted to talk to you," I answered, trying not to stammer and stumble over my words.

"It wasn't a good idea for you to come here, Edward," he replied, his voice full of indifference as he slung his guitar case over his shoulder.

_What the fuck?_

I was his biological son, his own flesh and blood, and he was acting like he couldn't care less that I was standing in front of him and wanting to talk with him. Hurt and rage and confusion began to settle just under my skin, and my muscles became rigid. Almost instantly, Bella positioned her body closer to mine, wrapping her free hand around my arm and caressing my skin, applying just enough pressure to ground me.

"You owe me answers!" I blurted out as he began to walk away. He stopped and I could see the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he breathed deeply.

"That's something I can't give you," he answered, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair in an eerily familiar way. "You're better off."

"Don't you think that should be up to me? You _owe_ me. You just _left_ us with nothing! You just threw your family away like they were trash!" I yelled, throwing the arm that wasn't currently attached to Bella's up in the air in frustration. I gritted my teeth to try and bite back all the hurt and rage.

He advanced, coming closer to me and stopping just in front of me, staring me straight in the eyes. "It was what was best for you. I couldn't have a family. It wasn't in my design. I was no good for you guys and I'm still not. Music is my _life_. I couldn't give anything to you guys. I knew Carlisle would be there to pick up the pieces, and he did, didn't he? He loved your mother in a way I never could. He could be a better father to you and Alice. Domestic family man is not me."

I felt my heart beating faster, as Carlisle's disdain for my musical talent began to take on a whole new meaning. I already knew why it bothered him, but hearing Edward, Sr. now made it hit so much closer to home. Carlisle literally hated this man standing in front of me. It suddenly dawned on me how much it must hurt Carlisle to have to look at me and see this man's face in front of him; to see so many similarities. I was suddenly seeing Carlisle's point of view in a whole new light. While, in my opinion, none of this made his actions right, I suddenly began to see our situation differently. He really did want me to be better; to be successful; to not be like the selfish and arrogant son of a bitch standing in front of me. And I wasn't.

I shook off all thoughts of Carlisle and my relationship, realizing those were best kept for another day, and spit back, "How could you just abandon us though? Your own _flesh and blood!_ Don't you care at all? About what Alice is doing with her life? Or me?"

"It was just easier that way," he answered, shrugging his shoulders with so much indifference that it felt like I'd just been punched in the gut.

"You're right, it was a mistake that I came here," I said, glaring at him and turning around to leave, pulling Bella by the hand behind me.

There was nothing more to say.

:-:-:

The ride home from the bar was quiet. I appreciated Bella giving me the space I needed to sort through all of the emotions currently pumping angrily around inside of me. That was one of the many things I loved about Bella, she could just sense what I needed. I didn't want to talk about the exchange with my "father'". I didn't want to discuss the fact that he didn't want anything to do with me, never had and never would.

I'm not going to lie, it fucking hurt. There was a huge part of me that had wanted the meeting to work out. My biological father and I had so much in common. Perhaps it was naive of me to believe that he would immediately accept me that we'd pick up our guitars and sit around a camp-fire to sing Kumbaya . After all, he'd never bothered to contact me before this. But there was that small part of me that just wanted to bond with him in a way I was never able to with Carlisle. There was a part of me that longed for that type of father-son connection.

But really, hadn't I partially expected that very reaction from him? I had. So on some level, it didn't devastate me as much as it probably should have.

If anything, the altercation with Edward, Sr. gave me a new found hope at the possibility of a better relationship with Carlisle. I knew we had a lot of work to do, but the possibility didn't seem as dim as it once had.

Wordlessly, I helped Bella out of the car once we reached my apartment. She held my hand firmly as I led her toward the bedroom. I didn't know if she was tired or not, but I was fucking exhausted. All I wanted to do was to crawl under the sheets with my girl and forget that this night ever happened.

Bella seemed to sense that was what I needed because she wordlessly began pulling off her shorts before climbing into my bed in just her t-shirt and underwear. I swallowed thickly as I watched her nestle down into the sheets, smiling to myself at how perfect she looked there.

I quickly followed suit, taking my jeans off and pulling my t-shirt over my head. I grabbed a pair of pajama pants and quickly put them on before climbing into bed next to Bella and immediately wrapping my arms around her. She cuddled into my chest as I rested my chin on top of her head.

Bella let out a contented sigh and I felt her lips brush softly against my neck. "I love you," she breathed, the words floating up to me and settling deep into my heart.

"I love you too," I whispered back, kissing the crown of her head.

A calm quiet settled over the room as we lay together, limbs tangled around each other. I ran my fingers through her hair causing her sigh softly.

After several moments I began to wonder if she had fallen asleep, her breathing had become steady against me and I felt my body finally beginning to relax until her voice shattered the silence of the room, making my heartbeat quicken.

"Edward, I want to be with you."

I tilted my head downward so I could look at her face. "You are with me."

"No Edward, I want to _be_ with you."

I stared at her for a long moment, trying to decipher if she meant what I thought she meant.

"Are you sure?" I asked, swallowing hard.

_Please be sure, please be sure._

I felt like an ass for even thinking like that, but after the day I'd had, I wanted nothing more than to just feel her body and love her; to feel her love for me in the most intimate and physical way possible.

"Positive."

**BPOV**

I told him I was sure, and I was. I wanted him. I wanted to feel him and experience this with him. I trusted him. I needed him. I knew he needed this too. He didn't have to explain to me how he was feeling about the events of this evening. It wasn't necessary.

I had stood with him while he had been rejected by his biological father, and as if the rejection hadn't been a big enough blow, he already felt dismissed by the only father he'd ever known. He didn't need to tell me how he felt because the rejection and intense hurt was rolling off his body in vast waves. I could feel it so strongly it was as if it had just happened to me.

I wanted him to know that he was needed and loved. Both of us needed this connection, the most intimate connection there is between two people. I was so ready for this. Beyond ready, actually. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted Edward.

I wanted Edward to make love to me.

Pushing away from him for a moment, I sat up and reached for the hem of my shirt and swiftly pulling it over my head. I heard a quick intake of break next to me and I knew Edward was watching my every move.

I laid back down on the mattress, feeling Edward instantly move above me the moment my head hit the pillow.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed against my lips before kissing me gently.

Bringing my arms up, I placed my hands on his back, caressing the hard muscles of his shoulders. I ran my fingers down and over the smooth skin of his stomach, feeling him tense under my touch, his lips moving faster over mine. Placing my hands back up on his chest, I scraped my fingernails gently through the light spattering of hair I felt there and began to trail my fingers downward. He groaned loudly as my nails scraped over his nipples and made their way down to his waist-band. I played with the light amount of hair that was there before tugging at the draw string of his sweat pants, attempting to release him.

Quickly, Edward removed my hands from him and I could hear and feel him kicking off his pants and then a soft thud as they hit the floor. As soon as he was positioned above me once again, my hands instantly flew to his body, finding their way back to his waist-band.

Just as I was about to plunge my hand into his boxers, wanting to feel his silky hardness against my finger-tips, he gripped my wrist, halting my progression.

"Stop," he demanded gently. He placed both my wrists in one of his hands, holding them firmly and placing them above my head on the mattress.

"What-" I began to protest, but the words immediately left me as he began kissing up and down the skin of my neck, shooting tingles along my spine. I began squirming under his touch, trying to free my wrists so I could touch him.

"I want to make this about you. I want to make you feel good, Bella," he whispered against my skin, his lips nipping and sucking as he moved down my body. He took my nipple in his mouth, sucking gently and causing incoherent sounds to fall from my mouth.

"You always make me feel good," I replied, my voice breathy and soft.

"I love you," he whispered against my skin in response, as he continued his path down my body, stopping every now and again to taste me. He dipped his tongue into my belly button, causing small giggles to shake through my body. I could feel him smiling against my stomach.

He released my wrists finally, and immediately I reached out for him, wanting to feel any part of him I could. I found the smooth strands of his hair and immediately dug my fingers into it.

It seemed like forever before he made his way down my body and began tugging my underwear down my legs. My heart hammered against my chest and I was equal parts excited and nervous. At this point, I was completely exposed to him, my entire body available for his judgment and scrutinizing. Though I knew, that's not what it was. He was admiring my body and memorizing it. This was the first time I'd _truly_ been comfortable completely nude in front of Edward. Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was looking at me with nothing but love and devotion. I could feel the intensity and the weight of his gaze. My first instinct was to cover myself, but I knew he would stop me. This time though, I wanted him to look. I wanted him to know my body like he knew every other part of me.

"I want you," I whispered, never being so sure of anything in my entire life.

A low growl sounded throughout the room and then I felt his mouth on mine, urgent and full of need.

"There's something I want to do first," he whispered as he pulled away from the kiss and removed my hands from his hair.

Suddenly his warmth was no longer above me and I whimpered at the loss.

Then just as suddenly as he'd disappeared he was back again, placing kisses against the inside of my thigh. I gasped, taken by surprise.

"Is this okay?" he asked gently, his hands rubbing firmly up and down my thighs, his thumbs dangerously close to where I could feel my need for him building.

I nodded my head, hoping I appeared much more confident on the outside then I was on the inside. Holy crap, is he going to do what I think he's going to do?

I yelped and jerked my hips upward as I felt his tongue come in contact with my slick and heated skin.

_Yes he was definitely doing what I thought he was going to do._

My legs shook with each pass of his tongue against me and I gripped the sheets in my hands so hard I thought I might tear a hole straight through them. The sensations were brutally intense, yet not enough. There was no way to describe it.

I moaned and whimpered, my hips writhing unabashedly against his face.

Finally the pleasurable sensations reached their crescendo, coiling and snapping. My mouth fell open and my eyes rolled back. The shear intensity of the moment caused my body to tense, my back arching slightly off the mattress, the back of my head sinking further into the pillow as I cried out. My legs stiffened and my toes curled.

_Oh. My. God_.

My body instantly went limp, breaths coming out in rapid pants. I could feel Edward's lips trailing up my body, across my stomach, up through the valley of skin beneath my breasts and finally up to greet my awaiting lips.

He kissed me slowly, full of love and sweetness. My own lips moving lazily against his, my entire body feeling heavy, my limbs like jello.

I sighed as he pulled his lips from mine and began kissing down my neck once again. "Did you like that?" he whispered in my ear, his voice deep and full of desire.

All I could do was nod.

For a few moments I could do nothing but lay there, with Edward above me. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me softly. I could feel him pressed up against my thigh and I knew I was ready. I needed him. _Wanted_ him.

"I'm ready," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer to me. He shifted gently, pressing his chest down into mine as he leaned over me and took a deep breath.

"You have to tell me if it hurts or if you want me to stop," he whispered softly, his breath tickling my ear. A shiver rippled through my body as I ran my hands up and down his arms, loving the way the smooth skin and soft hairs felt against my finger-tips. I dragged my fingers up over his shoulders and into his hair, pulling his head down toward me so I could kiss his lips.

"I know it's going to hurt Edward," I whispered back as I pulled my mouth away from his. I did know it was going to hurt. I wasn't completely naive. I just didn't care because I wanted him this way. I wanted to feel him. I wanted our bodies to connect in the most intimate way, to be consumed by each other. I wanted him to make love to me, to show me with his body how much he loved me.

I heard a shuddering breath come from Edward's lips and felt the hot air as it fanned across my face. Suddenly, his mouth was back on mine and he kissed me harder than he had been just a minute before, but I didn't mind because this was what I needed that indicated he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.

Goosebumps rippled across my skin as one of his hands made its way down my body. His hand stopped when it reached my hip and he massaged the skin there gently. I couldn't help the whimper that fell from my lips. Every time he touched me, no matter where it was, it felt like a jolt of electricity and pleasure.

Slowly, he spread my legs apart and I felt the bed shift as he positioned is body in between them.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered, slowly lowering his body down onto mine, his naked chest rubbing against me in almost a painfully pleasurable way. I loved the way his skin felt against mine. Pure bliss.

I felt his hands on either side of my head, one of them cupping my face and running soft circles across my cheek.

"I love you, too," I replied back, giving him the most reassuring smile I could muster. "I'm ready," I repeated, putting as much confidence into the words as I could.

"Just remember to tell me if it's too much for you. Please, baby, you _have_ to tell me." His voice was practically begging me and I nodded.

"It's okay, Edward," I assured him. My hands were still in his hair, so I scratched at his scalp gently, because I knew he loved the way it felt and I hoped it would help him relax.

Edward buried his face into my neck, pressing a soft kiss in the juncture where my shoulder and my neck came together. The hair on his face tickled and scratched at my skin, causing a soft sigh to escape my lips.

And then I felt him right where I needed him to be, pressing against me gently.

I gasped as he slowly began to slip just a little bit inside, my body tensed automatically at the intrusion.

"Relax, baby," Edward whispered as he placed another gentle kiss against my neck and his hand began to make soothing circuits up and down my side.

I took a deep breath, my fingers still gripping his hair. I hoped I didn't end up pulling a whole bunch of it out. My heart was pounding in my chest and I knew he could feel it, because I could feel his. I knew he was just as nervous as I was.

"Ok, I'm ready. Keep going. Please."

Once again Edward began to slowly push in, and I could feel my body stretching to accommodate him. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt and so completely different than when he used his fingers. He probably wasn't even half way in yet but I already felt so...consumed. Full. Complete. There was no other way to describe it.

Just as my body began to relax, Edward stopped his movements. He took a deep breath, his chest pushing against mine as he exhaled.

"Alright baby, this is going to hurt," he brushed his lips against mine slowly, "I'm so sorry," he whispered, gripping my body closer to his, as if it were even possible, my breasts pushing against his chest almost painfully so.

Slowly, I felt Edward begin to slide in deeper, and then felt him bump against the barrier.

"Take in a deep breath," he instructed, "and when I tell you to exhale, do it."

I nodded in acknowledgment, too nervous to speak, and sucked in a deep breath.

"Exhale."

At the same time the air left my lungs, Edward thrust his hips forward and I cried out and tugged on his hair, an intense burning and ache almost numbing me inside. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and a whimper escape my lips as my body tensed, my legs stiffening.

_Yeah_, _they weren't kidding. That _really_ hurt. _

I gasped for air and tried to relax my body, but I couldn't.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he chanted over and over again, placing gentle kisses all along my neck, cheek and finally on my lips. His thumb brushed away the wetness from my tears as it dripped down my face.

He was all the way inside, his hips and mine connected. We just laid there, completely still, for an immeasurable amount of time as my body adjusted and the pain began to slowly dissipate. Edward's lips never left my skin as he just continued to kiss every inch available to him in this position.

A bit tentatively, one of his hands cupped my breast and he began to knead it and roll my nipple in between his fingers. I let out a quiet moan from the pleasurable sensation and felt the rest of my body begin to relax as he worshiped my body with his fingers.

"I'm okay. I think I'm okay," I told him, shifting my hips just slightly, testing to see how painful it would be to continue, causing him to let out a deep growl. I could feel his chest vibrate against mine and it was so sexy. It wasn't too bad, just slightly uncomfortable.

"Are you sure? We can take as long as you need," he replied, his voice strained and gritty. I could hear his teeth grinding together and I knew he was struggling to keep himself in check.

"I'm positive," I assured him.

A woosh of air settled over my chest as Edward lifted his upper body from mine. Slowly, he began to pump his hips, pulling out gently before thrusting back in just as slowly.

"Ungh, _fuck_," he groaned out, the words slipping from his lips elongated and guttural as he pulled out of me again and then pushed back in. I could feel his arms vibrating at my sides as he held himself above me. "Oh, my god, you feel so good."

Hesitantly, I lifted my legs up and slowly wrapped them around his waist. I had no idea what I was doing, but placing my legs around his waist just seemed to be the right thing to do. I needed to move them and there was no-where else for them to go. The painful ache between my legs had dulled substantially, not completely disappearing, but moving to the background and quickly replaced by something else entirely. Sensations unlike anything else I'd ever felt consumed me.

I moved my hands from their position in his hair to cup his cheeks. I trailed my fingers along his jaw, enjoying the feeling of the stubble against my fingers. I slid my hands around his face, my fingers exploring his features that I had come to know so well through touch. I moved them to trace over his eyebrows and I felt the crease that had formed in between them. His forehead felt damp with perspiration. I continued my exploration of his face and moved to touch his lips. His mouth parted, breaths of air coming out in pants. I ran my fingers over his lips as his tongue swooped out to taste my skin. I loved it when he tasted my skin.

Now more than ever I wish that I had my eye-sight. I wanted to see what he looked like as he consumed my body with all of his love.

"Holy shit, Bella," Edward growled out, and brought his lips down to kiss me chastely. "Does it hurt?" he asked, his breath ragged.

"No," I whispered, the words coming out in a breathy moan as he thrust into me, and my hips moved upward to meet his of their own accord.

Our bodies were slick from sweat and the sounds of our love making reverberated around the otherwise silent room. The mattress squeaked and whined below us, the sheet clinging to my damp skin.

My chest felt tight as a new, yet strong, emotion bubbled up and settled into my throat. I'd never felt anything like this. The feeling of our bodies being connected in this extremely intimate way was making me overwhelmed with the amount of love I felt for Edward in this moment. I suddenly realized why the pain had subsided; I just didn't care about that anymore. All I cared about was what we were experiencing together. I never wanted this moment to end.

"I love you," my devotion to him fell from my lips as he slowly began to pick up the pace. He moved his hand down in between our bodies and slowly started rubbing the area where we were connected. I gasped as a sudden jolt of pleasure shot through my body, a feeling so intense it was almost painful. I was on sensory overload.

"Oh, my god, I love you so much," he whispered back, his lips ghosting over mine and then trailing down my neck.

His movements were becoming more frantic, but were still gentle. His breathing was so heavy I worried he was going to pass out.

"I'm so close," he moaned, "You feel fucking amazing. Oh, my god," he grunted as he thrust into me again, "Nothing's ever been like this."

All I could manage was a whimper because I agreed. There was nothing like this feeling. It was indescribable.

And suddenly Edward's body stilled, a low and long moan erupted from his throat and echoed in my ear. A violent shudder rippled through his body as I gripped him tightly to me. I felt him twitch inside me as he came undone.

He collapsed on top of me, burying his face in my neck as he panted and after shocks of his orgasm caused his body to softly pulsate against me.

His body weight was crushing me slightly, but I honestly wasn't in the frame of mind to care. I gently ran my hands up and down his back, my fingers tracing the ridges of his spine.

After several moments, Edward's breathing evened out and he slowly pulled out of me. I winced, feeling pretty sore already, but despite the ache, I instantly felt empty, my body cold and lonely without him consuming me.

Edward pulled the sheets up over our bare bodies as he pulled me to him.

He kissed me gently on the lips and on my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
